Fox-05: The RNGod Strikes Back

Geez, Fox. You unreliable ninny! Don't make you skip yourself. (Then yell at yourself, get all frumpy, elitist, and go on for three hours with a lecture on responsibility.)

TURNS!!!
 
Part I: Personal Objective

First order of business as usual is to roll my personal:



Okay, we are asked to do it the natural way.

No? Oh, got to check the list.

Hmm .... Get an AI to improve attitude ... that is tough. Nah. cultural pop. That should be easy. Let's see .... ha, found my target city!



Hee hee, it's already at 6/15, with buddhism. That's chicken feed. Right? RIGHT?

NO!!!! :aargh:

2 turns later, to my surprise, its still at 6/15.

WTF??? Is there some tech that will nullify state religion's cultural production?

Then, I found this:



HOLY BUDDHA'S SH!T !!!! You mean no one bother to undo vra's work and we'd stayed in organized religion all this while???? :eek:

Luckily my personal objective prompts me to pay attention ...



Much better.

With that, Personal Objective Achieved.



Q.E.D. (with a little cold sweat).

--
 
Part II: Tribal Objectives
-- Note the 's'

Okay, we have, what, 36 turns to take Tifilis? Nah, too long.

First order of business is to attach warlord to a sword ... that is Ozbenno's patented move.



Then Mehmed came demanding gold. I told him to go fly kite.

Soon, I got bored with amassing troops at Karakorum, and decided I have suffered Khan's insolence long enough.

- Knock, Knock.
- Who's there?
- Pole
- What Pole?
- Your-head-looks-good-on-the-end-of-a Pole!




And so, 10 turns into my set, tribal objective achieved.



Time to head on for more kinky business.



Huh? WTF? You got to have a fu*king big closet to do that!!!!

Checking list reveals it is "Capture or found (1d6) more cities".

Okay, one more position ...



Hey, that's illegal!!!

One more roll to determine the number of turns she need to do that ...



Oosh ... the RNGod is really trying to test my luck with Singaporean law enforcement ...

So 30 turns to capture 2 more cities? Khan seems to have just enough of that.

One down:



I decided to stop here. One more to go. 27 more turns.

Note that Brennus is now featuring Galleons and rifleman. :eek:

--

Tribal Objectives Completed Thus Far
  • (N.A) Acquire a religion ~ started:4000BC, completed: 3070BC, 31 turns.
  • (4x2) Learn 2 techs in the next age ~ started:3070BC, failed after 35 turns, punishment: (5) Empty all cities for (1d6=3) turns, done
  • (6x6) Obtain (1d6=1)+2 more new resources ~ started:1990BC, completed: 1150BC, 29/30 turns
  • (1x2) Build a Wonder or Project ~ started: 1150BC, failed after 40 turns, punishment: (2) Whip all cities, done
  • (1x5) Promote a unit (1d6=3) times ~ started: 475BC, declared failed after 10 turns, punishment: (3) move (1d6=1) unit to the northmost point, done
  • (12) Spread a religion to (1d6=1)+3 cities ~ started: 325BC, completed:185AD, 34/50 turns
  • (1x2) Build a wonder or project ~ started: 185AD, completed: 860AD, 45/45 turns
  • (1x6) Capture or found (1d6=4) cities ~ started: 860AD, completed: 1274AD, 45/50 turns
  • (1x3) Learn 2 techs that enables wonder or religion ~ started: 1274AD, completed: 1322AD, 6/50 turns
  • (12) Spread a religion to (1d6=3)+3 cities~ started: 1322AD, completed: 1532AD, 35/45 turns
  • (3x3) Capture a capitol or size (1d6)+5 city~ started: 1532AD, completed: 1586AD, 26/40 turns
  • (1x6) Capture or found (1d6=2) cities~ started: 1586AD, yet-to-complete, 27(total: 30) turns remaining, 1(total: 2) more city

Personal Objectives Completed Thus Far
  • Rex: (2) Capture or found a city ~ failed, punishment: (1) All workers to stay inside cities simultaneously for 1 turn, done
  • Fox: (5) Have a culture pop ~ failed, punishment: (3) Change civics or state religion, done
  • Ozbenno: (4) Spread a religion ~ failed, punishment: (4) whipped away (1d6=2) pop, done
  • vra379971: (2) Capture or Found a city ~ founded Guangzhou
  • Omni Paul: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Masonry learnt
  • Ruff: (6) Get 300 gold ~ failed, punishment: (5) play (1d6=5) turns less, done
  • Berserks01: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Guangzhou
  • Fox: (2) Capture or found a city ~ Bantu captured
  • Rex: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Alphabet
  • Ozbenno: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Drama
  • vra: (6) Get 15 exp ~ failed, punishment: (4) whip away (1d6=2) pop, done
  • Ruff: (6) Increase (1d6=2)x3 exp ~ succeed
  • ChrTh: (6) Increase (1d6=5)x100 gold ~ succeed
  • Rex: (6) Increase (1d6=1)x3 exp ~ succeed
  • Berserks: (3) Learn a tech ~ Calendar
  • Fox: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Nanjing
  • Ozbenno: (1) kill (1d6=5) enemies ~ succeed
  • Vra: (1) kill (1d6=1) enemies ~ succeed
  • Rex: (4) Spread a Religion ~ karakorum
  • Berserks: (3) Learn a tech ~ Civil Service
  • Fox: (5) Have a culture pop ~ succeeded

Roster
  • GreyFox == perform illegal act ... not once, but twice!!
    [*]Ozbenno == UP
  • vra379971 == Got Fist of RNGod killed ... prepare to receive wraith of the beard puller ...
  • Ruff == skipped to taste some kimchi ...
  • Berserks == flipped some balls, punched some buttons, but still can't count
  • Rex == failed to spread on Mother's Day
    [*]ChrTh == no time for Civ with a happy newborn
    [*]Omni_Paul == post something to end auto-skip

Useful links:
Reporting Ground Rules

The most important rule is reports should be funny. Also, you should provide adequate details (preferably screenshots) on how an objective is achieved. Normal SG etiquette applies. Standard 24hrs to post a got it, 48hrs to play and report. If you can't play, just ask for a swap or skip.
 
I was astonished to read that Brennus had riflemen and galleons while we had swordsmen. Then I looked closer and saw that it's 1595 AD. WTF are we doing with shirtless workers in 1595AD?!?

(HC has rifles, too, by that screenie of Nasca.)

Pray RNGod doesn't tell us to attack anybody else or we're doomed.
 
Opps, sorry, I meant HC, not brennus! :p

Yeah, we are definitely not doing very well ... and this is what? Only prince I think. How did that happen, I would like to keep the illusion of us being at least Monarch+ players ... :sad:

We need to go out of the economic hole. For that, I am starting the FP. That should help a bit. I think we also need to get taoism to our capitol and build one mor etemple so as to run one more priest. We need a priest to start collecting shrine money ... we have been afterall pretty diligently spreading the faith around (in accordance with RNGod's commandment).

--
 
Yeah, we are definitely not doing very well ... and this is what? Only prince I think. How did that happen, I would like to keep the illusion of us being at least Monarch+ players ... :sad:
I blame ChrTh's flirtations with Cleo for your (plural) poor performance.

That and rex of course. It's been so long since Rex has played the game that he was asking when his military advisor would yell: "GIVE ME MORE SOLDIERS, NOBLE LEADER, THAT THEY MAY SHEATH THEIR SWORDS IN THE HEARTS OF OUR ENEMIES!!" (ahh, civ humor, you can't beat it)
 
That and rex of course. It's been so long since Rex has played the game...

Hey, if it weren't so damnably true, that be quite mean. :sad: Seriously, I find myself trying to remember some of the basic tenants of the game. Like needing two tries to take one city because I didn't really think about how many units I'd need to actually take it. Bad me.

Anyway, I think the whole problem is Fox's prime directive that reports be funny. Personally, that just opens up the door for :smoke: everywhere. (Or at least in my turns.) Good thing I'm not funny, or that could really get out of hand.
 
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