Things I learned about the science of warfare through Civilization IV

Skallagrimson said:
9. A couple of artists in a nearby city are far more able to conquer a neighboring city by writing a few plays, than a large army of swordsmen and catapults. Art is a magical power known throughout history for its world-conquering abilities. The Romans especially were deadly to the Gauls when fielding their 18th Sculptural Legion which created lethal statues that toppled the highest of Vercingetorix' city walls. Only the modern French with their elite existential novelists division were able to withstand the Roman military artistic assaults, and everyone knows the Cold War was about who could paint the prettiest paintings. During a siege, it isn't the city walls that protect against catapult volleys, but sailor's ditties, limericks, and dancing a jig.
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Pen > Sword
 
Sim_One said:
19. A stone age warrior with a wooden club can singlehandedly wipe a modern megalopolis and all of its inhabitants off the face of the world. Comparatively, a nuclear bomb can only kill off half of its inhabitants, and the city itself will still remain.
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So far this is my favourite. :)
 
ROFL. I vote Best Thread Ever! :spear:
 
26: When attacking cities, swordsmen suddenly become stronger and their swords become longer, so they can hit the archers on the wall from the ground.
 
27) The knowledge of putting planes into the air is not necessary to launch a rocket into space.
 
28) Your thrice promoted city-stomping swordsmen is destroyed by an un-promoted axmen in open country; but when trying to drive them out of fortified positions inside cities, will suffer narry a scratch.
 
29} Animals are afraid of art, music and books. If there is any of these in the area they will scatter forthwith. However savage Barbarians are attracted to said art and will attempt to destroy it.

30} People do not care if it has been thousands of years since you decided to forgo adopting their religion or joining their war, they will still hate you.
 
I wish nuclear bombs are in the game, far more powerful than existing ICBMs (which have weaker warheads) and capable of wiping anything within a 3x3 radius. Of course the cost is comparatively higher.
 
32) Combat experience: Combat odds are not directly connected to ones combat experience, but rather to promotions - because all the needles on your chest will protect you from getting shot.

A swordsmen who has fought a dozen battles will become way better in attacking a city, but once he is out in the open field he will behave just like the newbie swordsmen next to him.

Bomber crews do not gain any experience by bombing, only in dogfights.

33) Terrain: An axemen standing on a hill has a better chance of survival up there than in the open field. A tank does not.

34) Military unit health: If a batallion is reduced to a last man standing, the batallion will regain full strength by just sitting around, because that single man will heal all the wounded. However, if he gets shot too, everyone is doomed.

35) Bombing: If a bomber attacks a city, he only hits military units, neither civilians nor buldings will have a single scratch. That is because all military units have to stand right in the middle of the city so the bombers can easily find them.
 
36) Knights can charge other knights just as quickly uphill.

37) Galleons carry an enormous supply of food - it takes 200 years to reach the new world. Despite this trade ships travel instantly.

38) A society with no bronze can still discover how to work it - and can make axes for tree chopping but the same axes can't be used in battle.

39) Horse archers carry a bow but never use it, preferring to charge headfirst onto spears.

40) Arrows outrange Bullets. In fact arrows usually outrange tank cannons.

41) A guy with a club and a loincloth makes a suitable palace guard for the Emperor and can police the capital entirely by himself.

42) All weapons are personalized with fingerprint ID trigger guards so that guys with clubs and loincloths are unable to pickup the spears/swords/guns of their recently killed friends.
 
#43 - All barbarian cities have a secret trap door in their center. After you have successfully killed the two swordsmen garrisoning the city, as you move in to claim your prize, an ARCHER pops out of the trap door and maintains control for one more turn!

Sadly your units are too damaged to kill said archer, so you must now wait 7 turns while healing...
 
44) You can use seige weapons to knock down walls and castles, but you can NEVER break down the trenches those archers dug for 5 turns.

45) Archers have magic arrows that wind around tree stumps, so they still get a defensive bonus in forrests.
 
46) Airships do not require combustion to fly but rather knowledge of physics.

47) Knights and Horse Archers are able to spot siege weapons in an army and thus are able to run past the massively large pikes and destroy the siege weapons without anyone touching them but the operators of the siege weapons (who are invisible).
 
48: Even in ancient times, the defending side in a battle could instantly tell what the enemy was going to attack with and put up the appropriate defense.
 
49: Foot units are able to move faster and faster as time passes. By the Middle Ages, they can run at nearly 4 times the speed of their ancient counterparts.
 
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