Ok... first post in a long time, and it's going to be a Ranty one!
Civilization V eh? Where did I leave the Civ series, after following it all the way from Civ 1 on the Amiga, back when I should have been focusing on my studies at University, instead of "just one more turn-ing" until the essay deadlines were 3 hours away? I left it at Monarch level on Civ IV Beyond, when I grew tired of the way the AI was deliberately scripted to dog pile you, and only you, if you started to become too strong; which turned the game from a fun piece of escapism to an elitist, Min/max, Game Guide following to the letter, or however you want to describe it exercise in manipulating the engine limitations. Whilst it may have pleased the hardcore by offering them a challenge, it robbed the game of spontaneity or emergent experiences; and it forgot that the purpose of a Civ game is not to be an arcade style beat 'em up say (where one must perform the quirkafleeg at the exact pico-second required), but a global playground for people to play at being God-Kings in.
You can already guess where I'm going with this... but not just yet! So Civ V came along with a demo, and I gave it a shot. I wasn't a huge fan of the new combat mechanics, nor the messy over-detailed graphics. But it turned up on Steam Sale recently and I saw the Gold edition was a couple of quid; what can I say, I've purchased every Civ ever, Colonization and Alpha Centauri too... so out of completeness' sake I took a gamble...
Let the ranting begin!
Ok, firstly it's HORRIBLY optimized. It memory leaks like a bugger. It has insane loading times WHICH DON'T SEEM TO PROGRESS WHEN ALT TABBED AWAY. No reading web pages whilst waiting for it to load! The UI is simplified, but surprisingly also pointlessly obtuse when it comes to information you may need; tracking the relations of people to each other and the city states is an exercise in frustration. Wither the simple coloured lines of Civ IV? "Pointiest sticks" is cute, right up until the point you realise you don't have enough information to get the point, or avoid it being pointed into your belly...
And then there's the new additions which seem to only have been included to wind people up; the teeny, tiny "Edit" buttons to rename things. That only work on units after a promotion? That if you chose the promotion upgrade before the rename, is gone again until the next level up? What?? There's strange limitations on automation during turns too. Often I've caught "End Turn" flash up, gone to locate a unit I know should have moved... and yes it still can? Or I've a tonne of fortified units around a city I want to attack, I declare war... and I only get the option to wake one unit before the turn ends? Which keeps being centred on no matter how often I click another unit. Or the Bombard command which you can't just click away from, but have to press B again to turn off first? And ranged units can't capture cities?
The tech tree is also ridiculous now; I've just played 4 games in a row as the Romans on the Earth map, where in every one, I had 4 to 6 cities and no iron spawned anywhere near them. Which meant I could not only not build anything better than Spearmen, but I couldn't conquer any cities because the other special unit, the Ballista, also needed Iron, so it blocked off the required wall breakers. HNNNNGHHH.
And that combat! Oh lord... It wasn't too bad in the demo, but with the amount of units needed to capture even a modest city... it's a nightmare now. You basically have to sacrifice at least one unit, often many more if the land has been deforested around it far more, whilst being grateful that the AI is so dumb it doesn't focus on the ranged troops first to really bork you over.
But... I persevered. The AI's inability to fight properly allowed me to start learning the game as I romped through the early levels. And the Steam achievements were kind of fun to see pop up! I was slowly getting the hang of arranging my waves before they set out to fight more effectively, and reading the terrain to see where I could ambush reinforcements (again, thank you useless AI that doesn't bum rush the archers on nearby hills)... but then...
I got to Prince level, the first Roman attempt without Iron mentioned above. I spawned near the Crimea. I found that Montezuma was nearby, and he betrayed me, attacking past a small City State in the Middle East with just one passable square in front of his own city. I couldn't get enough troops in line of sight to bombard his walls without also angering the City State. Montezuma was quickly begging for peace as I defensively smushed his attempt to invade though, so expecting the worst, I tried to conquer the city state ready for his eventual betrayal in 10 turns. This one "bullying of the weak" though turned the entire world against me.
So I tried again. And again. And in every game at this level, the diplomatic penalties are so harsh that everyone turns against you on the second aggressive action.
WHICH IS JUST RIDICULOUS.
DAMN YOU SHODDY GAME DESIGN DOGPILING
I really, really don't mind the AI getting a production bonus if, as happened in Civ 2 say, it meant huge blocks of alliances rising where you could be a trusted junior partner in them... you don't have to be the hero every time, but fighting a small little front in a huge, ding dong battle was still fun! But it's no fun to have to follow an EXACT pattern of behaviour every single time because if you don't, you just get cheesed out of any kind of friendships at all, as the extra special, extra stinky person everyone's programmed to hate just because...
This is what absolutely killed Civ V for me; which drove me back to these boards to see if there was any way to still have fun with the game, and which having now seen the list of negative modifiers shows I never really can.
SORT IT OUT MAXIS. Because as it currently stands, there's no way in hell I will buy the next expansion.