No one is able to play MP since this week, you are not alone (check the other threads). There is no real workaround but there are a few things you can do to improve chances of finishing a game. But even in the rare cases when it works playing is still a pain with all the resyncs and leaving/hotjoining and it is less fun without barbs/ruins.
Sad thing is Firaxis/2k has not even officialy recognized that mp is broken. Neither was there a word about a fix nor anything if a downgrade to the earlier patch is possible. It is hard to understand how the same people who created such a wonderful game cannot care about the guys who play it.
When you reload the game I assume you are frozen and can't move?
The work around for this is to ask a player to leave the game, then it should unfreeze. The player can then hotjoin and it should work until the next freeze (most likely 2-3 turns later).
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