Ashurbanipal vs. Kamehameha

The thing about Catherine is that all her weapons are undoubtedly hidden about her dress. I have no doubt that she carries pepper spray and at least one knife. You don't get to be empress of a hard core empire like Russia without accumulating a hidden arsenal. So, she would spray/stun her opponent then viciously stab them to death. Even Ashurbanipal has eyes and various soft spots.
 
The thing about Catherine is that all her weapons are undoubtedly hidden about her dress. I have no doubt that she carries pepper spray and at least one knife. You don't get to be empress of a hard core empire like Russia without accumulating a hidden arsenal. So, she would spray/stun her opponent then viciously stab them to death. Even Ashurbanipal has eyes and various soft spots.

Nice try, but Ashurbanipal undoubtedly keeps some safety goggles rolled up in his beard-fist for just such an emergency.

Not to mention that going by this logic, Maria Theresa must have enough gear for a small army...
 
Elizabeth keeps the entire British armed forces in her dress.
 
Oda would beat Ashurbanipal while he's not looking. He has ninjas remember. Ash would just get into an endless debate with Nebuchadnezzar: "My Mesopotamia is Better than Your Mesopotamia" etc. etc. etc. Oda would send a ninja up behind him.

As for Kame, again, he'd probably end up fighting Hiawatha.
 
The Oda clan doesn't specialize in ninjas, though. Now, if Tokugawa was Civ V's Japanese leader, you might have something there.

Neither did the Tokugawa.

But isn't Oda good at sneaking up behind people himself? Think of the Imagawa Yoshimoto head ceremony incident.
 
Also, two words: Akechi Mitsuhide.
No. He was a warrior he did manage to revolt and kill Oda Nobunaga 13 days later he himself was killed by Toyotomi Hideyoshi forces.
 
The Oda clan doesn't specialize in ninjas, though. Now, if Tokugawa was Civ V's Japanese leader, you might have something there.

Truthfully, Oda campaigned long and hard against the ninjas of the Iga clans, so I doubt the Ninjas would come to his defense. Tokugawa had Hattori Hanbei, after all so he's the Ninja Master
 
Nice try, but Ashurbanipal undoubtedly keeps some safety goggles rolled up in his beard-fist for just such an emergency.

Not to mention that going by this logic, Maria Theresa must have enough gear for a small army...

Maria Theresa did once say that if she wasn't pregnant she'd join the army and fight the Germans too. Also, he may have goggles, but she still has a knife and Russian madness. As evidenced in WW2, Russians fight to the death, don't lose, and always get a huge second wind. Catherine would always come out on top. Idea though! She and Ashurbanipal could marry, creating a dual-gender unstoppable team! Think of how cut-throat any child the'd have would be.
 
Ashurbanipal, not even in his wildest dreams could have imagined that someday, 2600 years after his death, there would be people discussing "online" (whatever that means), in english (a language that would take more than 1000 years to appear), an hypothetical fight between him and a man born 2400 years after on the other side of the world.

And now we're discussing a hypothetical marriage between Ashurbanipal and a woman born 2300 years later hundreds of miles to the north. Most ancient kings wanted to be immortalized in legend anyway, so I doubt he'd care, but still.... yeah.
 
Psh, if that's the attitude you're going to take then Catherine can always marry someone from her time, like Wasington or Napoleon, or just strike out on her own. Even still, my point still stands that no self-respecting empress of Russia would ever lose in a knife/tablet fight. (Once again, I'm sure she has a knife on her, and will here no arguments otherwise.)
 
Never bring a knife to a beard fight!

Ok, fine, they can be married or "just friends" for all I care. Their empires don't even border, maybe they'll just return to their separate corners and bully someone else for a while. After all, we can't have Gandhi using Yoga Fire nukes on everyone...
 
Given the Iga campaigns, I doubt the ninja would come to the aid of any samurai.

Re Akechi, it's just another example of why Toyotomi Hideyoshi should be Japan's leader, not Oda.
 
What if they are Ninja Samurai hybrids? Ninjurai?

Pretty sure most "ninjas" are in fact actually plain samurai. I am pretty sure Iga Ikki Clan was a samurai clan:O Just that they were pretty decent at covert stuff:O

Anyway either of the 3 unifiers make excellent choices as leader of Japan. Oda gets in purely for laying down the foundations for unification. Without Oda, Toyotomi would have remained just a random peasant soldier. That said, i would be happy to see Toyotomi:)

Back on topic, the Oda we have is far too polite. Get that badass from the totally historical documentary Sengoku Basara and we are talking. Feudal Shotguns > Beards anytime though the way Ash punches his tablet when you declare war on him is pretty terrifying :lol:
 
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