What if Civfanatics was a british tabloid

m15a said:
i know parodying offensive content might be a "gray area", but can we lay off the "page 3" stuff a little? puns are great and all, but . . .
Click to expand...

It's okay, I just demand to see Kame's Sixpack as the next Page 3 "girl" and I'm fine :lol:
Or at least an analysis of the beards ;)

But seriously, marvelous job here. This thread belongs on the main page / why isn't there actually a humour section/column?
 
Spoiler :

Oprah-So, Ramses, I've heard that you cheated during your latest game. Answer yes or no; did you use your UA in a prohibited manner?

Ramses-Yes, I admit to that.

Oprah-Why did you do it?

Ramses-I just needed to keep up with all the other civilizations. You just don't know what it's like when you're neighbouring Monty, with blood all over my nice, clean desert.

Oprah-But why did you do it? Couldn't you just rage quit?

Ramses-When you've got twenty aggressive civilizations around you, you want to prevent them from winning the game. I started out by bee lining for Calendar, just to pick up Stonehenge and pick up the incense next to my capital. I started by getting a monument, and got pottery on the same turn that I finished. By turn twenty, I had my pantheon, and I chose "Monument to the Gods" for that extra production, making 35% to wonder production. After finishing Stonehenge in 15 turns, I went to get the Statue of Zeus. Strangely, nobody else had started building it, and I finished within 13 turns with my 6 population. I quickly went for the Temple of Artemis, getting that much-needed 15% growth. Next, I...

Oprah-I'll have to stop you there. Why didn't you leave the game?

Ramses-I started playing to win, and I would finish playing to win. I got the Oracle's free social policy, and kept going with tradition, getting that 15% to wonder production, bringing it up to 50%. Now I could get most winders in under ten turns, a massive improvement on my 15. Before long, I had 14 wonders in my capital, but...

Oprah-But what?

Ramses-I still only had one warrior. And the Mongols had Keshiks and Khans fast approaching. Oh, and Gandhi somehow already had nukes.

Oprah-So you weren't the only one cheating then?

Ramses-Cheating is part of the game. Everyone did it. It's like having production in your cities, improvements on your tiles-you need them to win.


Here's my concept for the Ramsess interview. Someone improve upon this. :lol:
 
This is a great thread with an awesome idea and I approve of it.

Maybe will create one of these myself, but knowing my laziness... It seems unlikely.
 
nunor said:
Just browse through The Sun's homepage (any day) and you'll quickly get the idea:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/
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I don't even know if that link is allowed, but that's what I call the dark page of the Internet. As a satirical magazine once said,

NEWS OF THE WORLD (Revised Final Edition)

Thank God and Good Riddance

After 120 years, we say a sad goodbye to the 1.7 million people whose phones we've hacked
 
I don't have the photoshop skills, but nothing like a good feud between queens:

The Feuding Marias!

Maria Theresa Walburga Amalia Christina thinks Maria Francisca Isabel Josefa Antónia Gertrudes Rita Joana is needlessly padding her name, and probably her chest.

Maria the Pious suggests that the Austrian Dowager Empress of the Romans, Queen of Hungary, of Bohemia, of Dalmatia, of Croatia, of Slavonia, of Galicia, of Lodomeria, etc.; Archduchess of Austria; Duchess of Burgundy, of Styria, of Carinthia and of Carniola; Grand Princess of Transylvania; Margravine of Moravia; Duchess of Brabant, of Limburg, of Luxemburg, of Guelders, of Württemberg, of Upper and Lower Silesia, of Milan, of Mantua, of Parma, of Piacenza, of Guastalla, of Auschwitz and of Zator; Princess of Swabia; Princely Countess of Habsburg, of Flanders, of Tyrol, of Hennegau, of Kyburg, of Gorizia and of Gradisca; Margravine of Burgau, of Upper and Lower Lusatia; Countess of Namur; Lady of the Wendish Mark and of Mechlin; Dowager Duchess of Lorraine and Bar, Dowager Grand Duchess of Tuscany is simply jealous and needlessly padding her name with titles. The Queen of Portugal asks where Maria Theresa finds the time to be an adequate ruler for her 45+ domains when she's always running off to an early luncheon.

Pedro, refuses to get involved, simply saying that his mother-in-law and grandmother are 'crazy old ladies'.

Elizabeth threatens to protect Maria if the angry Austrian refuses to back down.
Click to expand...
 
Geredis said:
I don't have the photoshop skills, but nothing like a good feud between queens:
Click to expand...

To be honest, Maria I's complete title was something like 'Queen of the United Kingdom of Portugal, Brazil and the Algarves, of Overseas in Africa, Lord of Guinea and of the Conquest, Navigation and Trade in Ethiopia, Arabia, Persia, and India, etc'. Nowhere near Maria Theresa's title though.
 
 
I love the interplay between the Marias!
 
"Sneaky Siamese Spy Steals Sejong's Secrets!

Telephones Tapped, claims Hacked-Off Hwach'a Man"

sorry, Hwach'a Man really was the best I could come up with :lol:
 
How about Hwach'a Hooligan? :p
 
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