Capto Iugulum



She had eyes like glistening sapphires, glittering against her sandy-colored hair that framed her porcelain face, chalk white, and thin bright red moist lips. She was smiling when she left the debutante ball; not the guest of honor herself, though I could have easily been deceived. She was so innocent, a woman of high society who's sole worry was whether the train of her gown would become muddy and the brim of her broad silk hat would be warped, with the rain that night. But she was still such a wonderful person, one who smiled so broadly with that tiny mouth, and gave me a tip before we had reached her home. "You're not like the usual cabby's," she said. "I feel like you're one of the kinder lot, and my feelings are usually right."

She was correct on one count, at least. So innocent... at times, I still wonder whether she should have been a victim.

I could feel the sword rocking back and forth under my seat, rhythmically, like a clock. It was the sword that accompanied me ever since I joined the army, and was the source of my enlightenment. It was the sword that pressed against my neck, ready to slit my throat if I struggled as New Spanish captors dropped hot coals on my body in the war. For long I felt they were monsters, until construction of the Panama Canal began... and I was to guard the slaves. I saw all the atrocities--the mutilation, the rape, the brutality, disease, death, decay--so saturating my reality that they seeped into my dreams and infected them too, and I woke every night in the slave camp screaming as cold corpses rose from the dead, grabbed my sword, and almost decapitate me. It eventually lead to my discharge, for insanity.

But finally my sword liberated me, and I reached enlightenment. The New Spanish weren't monsters. It was my country, my race... me. My dreams became my modus operandi, my new reality, and I screamed not for the monstrosity of the dream but the monstrosity of the reality I was waking into. And I became determined to right the monstrosity with my sword. It was these elites responsible, this girl in my cab (or her father), nursing from this monster as bats from their mothers. And my sword, faithfully swaying as I reached the ambush point, would be my fellow crusader.

I knew all the streets in New York, and which were the best to ambush. Luck had my horse acting oddly jittery as I approached the alleyway. "It seems Saint is acting strangely, miss. I'm going to stop and have a look, if you wouldn't mind," I said nonchalantly (the procedure no longer made me nervous).

"What a lovely grey!" she said. "Allow me to help you! I wouldn't mind meeting this fine steed." So innocent... I was well aware that I was beginning to develop a reputation in New York, and she wasn't even remotely alarmed when I turned into the alley. We stopped, and I assisted her from the carriage. Daintily raising her dress, she tip-toed to the horse, cooing gently to him, as I pretended to get sugar cubes. I had become a master of withdrawing my sword in such a manner as not to raise alarm, and I held it behind my back to appear as if I were holding sugar cubes, smiling coyly at her. She chuckled, then said to the horse, "I think your master has a surprise for you, Saint."

The poor privileged thing... she was so innocent.

OOC: More to come... from a mystery author!
 
From: Austria
To: Brandenburg
CC: Scandinavia, The World


We will be following Scandinavia's lead. Your ramblings, and childish demeanor are an insult not just to Scandinavia, but to the 'effort' to keep peace in Central Europe. Your actions and demeanor are embarrassing, and we can only hope more sensible, mature diplomatic efforts are put forth from Berlin.

We encourage the nations of the world to not both with Brandenburg's childish Balompie tournament.
 
To: Brandenburg
From: Naples


We have to agree with Spain and Austria on this matter, we do not wish to see any violence erupt within Europe.
 
I think I might play as something small. No guarantees yet, but I'm thinking Georgia, Georgia, no peace I find!
Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind!
 
To: Georgia
From: Hungary


Welcome, we are allied with you. If you need more information about this, PM me.

To: The World
From: Hungary


As Poland is having difficulties responding and is unavailable at the moment, please direct all diplomatic communication regarding the Poland-Hungary-Serbia-Georgia alliance to Hungary.
 
To: The Kingdom of Brandenburg
We agree with wholeheartedly to the statements made by Spain and Austria. There is no need to inflame the situation, and cause increased tensions in the region
 
[OOC: My co-author (who I swear upon my life is not me trying to play some trollish trick) would like to remain anonymous for the time being; he will reveal himself soon enough. This is by him.]



The case started out like oh so many others, with a troubled woman walking through the door of mine and Teddy's agency. Our office was just barely on the border of the Shades and Manhattan, so we were able to get at least a few vaguely respectable clients over the years. This dame was the wealthiest one of them all and caused my jaw to drop when she walked through our office door. She was wearing a fine hat with a ostrich feather, with a sweeping dress on the floor, probably altogether her outfit was worth more than my entire sock drawer full of cash. I was barely able to maintain my composure enough to look out the window to size her up from her arrival arrangements. Her transport had attracted extensive attention, and below in the street was a genuine luxury automobile, and a crowd was gathering around it, while two tough looking fellows in suits keep them at bay. Standing behind the vehicle was a sputtering truck, and I could clearly see what could only be a half dozen well trained house slaves sitting within. Now, I know as much as the next battered man that the appearances a woman puts on can be deceiving, but any doubts were laid to rest when she started speaking in the Southern drawl of the wealthy.

The lady cut straight to the chase, blurting out, "My name is Emily Brent, and I want you to find out who killed my sister!" Sniffing scornfully around the room while she spoke, I found myself listening while wondering if she would inadvertently clean the room by inhaling the dust. Fortunately she grew more tolerable and sympathetic as the story went on, not least thanks to the bottle of scotch I was drinking. As it turned out, Veronica and Emily Brent were two sisters from a very wealthy family in Richmond, and Veronica had mysteriously vanished in the night two weeks ago. Five days ago, she had turned up as the latest victim of the Brooklyn Slasher, and was torn apart like the fifteen other victims, left dead in an alley. As per the police's usual standard of justice, two wops and one Jew had already been arrested for the crime, but for some reason, the murders continued to happen. In Ms. Emily's own words: "I do not trust these filthy yankee policemen further than I can throw them, and I want you to find out who killed my sister, and bring the villain to me. My staff and I will be setting up our property and belongings at the Crowley Hotel in Manhattan." At last, she would finally say something that would garner my full attention. "I will pay you five thousand dollars to help me bring this murderer to justice." Hardly containing my excitement for my impending retirement with this money, I accepted her offer, and promised to get back to her.

Now, you may be asking yourself, how does a charming and sophisticated person like myself earn a visitation from the fine Southern gentry? After all, those types rarely descend from their Manhattan towers to mingle with we in the humble and weary masses. I'm the listed partner in New York City's only consulting detective firm, and we've got a bit of a better track record than those copper-chested fools in their discount uniforms. I certainly can't take credit for that record though, as it goes solely to my friend and partner Teddy. I met Teddy after I came back from the war in Colombia, and travelling home, ran afoul of the law. Back in those days, Teddy was slowly climbing the ranks of the police, but had the unfortunate situation of being perhaps the only honest copper in the city. I had stolen a horse from a stables in Manhattan, and very nearly evaded those pursuing me, when I was abruptly cut short in my escape by a night stick. I was still recovering from the war, and Teddy, a veteran himself, let me off scot-free. The same day, his fellows on the force finally managed to block him out for good, and he was fired without references. A few hours later we were sharing cigars and scotch he had liberated from the chief's drawers. A few days later we recovered some stolen jewelry for a heiress, and we were on our way to success. To this day, I don't know why he let me off after I stole that horse, but it started a friendship and business which continues to last to this day.

When Teddy got back to the office later in the evening, I had been hard at work, reading through the newsheets and looking for leads in the new Brent case. I heard him tromping through the door like a wild bull or moose, and no sooner did he walk in, looking me straight in the eye with a smile, he said, "So, how are you doing in the investigation into the death of Veronica Brent?" "Damn it man! You know I hate when you do that, and how the hell did you do it this time?" I exclaimed. With a laugh, Teddy said, "Bully, my dear friend! There were the tracks of a Peugeot B in front of the building. There's only one person who has such a vehicle in the city at the moment, and that's Lady Emily Brent of south Arlington. Not to mention, her sister was the second most recent of the Slasher murders, and I've been expecting her visit for quite some time. More obviously, though, you have neglected to cover the newspapers on your desk, that was more than enough information to determine our new case." Feeling a bit like a fool, I acknowledged his little victory once more, before realizing what he said. "What do you mean the second most recent murder?" "A woman disappeared from last night's ball in the Manhattan Grand. She was found a few hours ago in Brooklyn, the Slasher has struck again."

Teddy threw me my coat and hat and said, "It's time to head to the south side, come on, my dear friend, the hunt is on once again!"
 
OCC: I'm enjoying this, gents. The only reference I don't get are the wops.

I leaned back in my chair after typing my two cents. The story wasn't half-bad. The build-up was good; and with any luck, the ending would go off with a bang. And it wasn't just the writing. There were more OTL references than stars on Ole' Scott's Glory. I took a long drink of sweet tea. I couldn't help but laugh. I'm not smart, but I know enough about myself to know when I'm doing an internal dialogue. This was getting more meta than a dream about watching Inception. I closed my browser. I had work to do, and it wasn't going to get done sitting around.
 
OOC: I think the Polish, Hungarian, Georgian, Serbian etc. alliance should be called the Central "something" for obvious reasons.
 
Brandenburg has no wish for war, and has no further comment on the Pomerania situation
 

Relief of a Publik Tvinga officer leading a regiment of natives. The caption reads "The Promised Land"

The jungle is harsh. Despite the best efforts of the indomitable Kongo Society, there are still many parts of the Scandinavian Kongo that are functionally untamed wilderness. What with malaria, yellow fever, numerous other tropical diseases, and occasionally-hostile savages, the ennobling hand of Nordic civilization has reached only so far into the jungle of the formerly-Dark Continent. There are a few people, however, who thrive in these circumstances. Major Karl Mannerheim is one of these. Stockholm's liaison, by the colonial authority, to the Kongo Society-operated Publik Tvinga (Public Force, or Kongo Defense Commission), Major Mannerheim is a native of Scandinavia. Born in western Finland, Mannerheim is arguably a member of the great tradition of Swedish-emulation in the upper class of Finland. The completion of the Finnish canal system in the 1860's brought an amount of wealth and commerce into Finland that was previously unseen, elevating the middling merchants and tradesmen to positions in high society. Mannerheim has spoken Swedish all his life, better than the regional dialect in his provincial homeland. He greets me with a swift tug on my hand, before adjusting his cap to shield his face from the burning midday sun.

"Herr Mannerheim, on behalf of the Uppsala Gazette, it's an honor to have the opportunity to speak with you about the efforts of the Publik Tvinga."

"I welcome your questions, sir. We aim to inform the public about our efforts, as best as humanly possible. Please, have a seat."

He gestures to a chair, assembled out of a few pieces of wood and cloth, in the style of an antique Roman officer's seat. I sit, and so does Mannerheim, in a chair of similar fashion. On occasion, he turns from our conversation to inspect the rolling forest of tents that surrounds us. This is, after all, a Publik Tvinga outpost. He is a young man, and we are roughly of the same age. In order to hold such a position of authority, he must have ascended quickly through the ranks, though I don't presume to ask him how he came by his post.

"What is the goal of the Publik Tvinga?"

This answer is shot out with machine-like efficiency. "Like the Kongo Society, the Publik Tvinga aims to civilize the Kongo, for the betterment of its inhabitants and our colonials. We employ citizens of the Empire, of all stripes. You could say that the Publik Tvinga is a citizen, striving for the betterment of his country." he takes a sip of coffee from a pot laid to his right.

"How many people does the Publik Tvinga currently employ?"

Herr Mannerheim pauses. "Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to reveal the actual number of my associates. However, I can tell you that the Publik Tvinga provides employment, food and housing to immigrants from Scandinavia proper, long-term colonial residents of the Kongo, and a select regiment of Kongolese."

It appears I will have to be satisfied with this answer. The actual size of the Publik Tvinga has long been a question that has never been answered to actual numbers. This is largely presumed to be because of the actual revelation of bureaucratic policy in the number of departments that work within or in tandem with the Publik Tvinga. Why this information is considered so sensitive for public consumption is not known, but the machinery that keeps the Kongo running is all shrouded in some kind of semi-secrecy. We know, however, that it all works for the betterment of Scandinavia and the people of the Kongo. "How would you describe your operating conditions?"

Herr Mannerheim smiles. "There are those who will tell you that the jungle is like a woman. There are also people who will tell you that the sea is like a woman. I reject this line of thinking; the jungle is like a bear trap. You walk around it, not through it. If you attempt to tackle every obstacle that is thrown in your path, both in terms of terrain and climate and in terms of its inhabitants or whatever your mission might be, you will not come out alive. Accept that some goals are unattainable, and choose your battles, and you will achieve success. In short, our operating conditions are unforgivable, but that is what makes the Publik Tvinga what it is. Call us the Varangian Guard of the Kongo if you like, but every day we simply try to do our jobs."

This attitude is not uncommon of soldiers, especially those who come down from high places to speak to the public. Over the next few seconds, we both adjust in our seats. It is necessary to keep the body moving in this kind of heat. "How do you regard the role of the Publik Tvinga, now that the power of the Kongo Society over the region has been downgraded in favor of the colonial administration?"

"Chancellor Bostrom has been very clear that he considers the Publik Tvinga as an essential part of the maintenance of the policy infrastructure that the Kongo Society has assembled here. The Publik Tvinga will endure, and has endured, hardships of all kinds. Temporal, political, military. The natives have a word, nzere, that means roughly 'the river that swallows all rivers'. It is what they call the Kongo River, and it is what we work to emulate. The river flows onwards, and always has."

"How long have you been working in this capacity?"

"I speak with humbleness towards our government, and the Kongo Society, when I say that I have only recently acceded to my position here. It is not often that a younger officer such as myself has the opportunity to work with such auspicious and hard-driven individuals as the colonial authority, the Kongo Society, and the Publik Tvinga's own soldiers."

"If I could be so bold with my questions, Herr Mannerheim, is there any driving force that inspires you to get up and do..." I look around, and see the vast jungle stretching for miles and miles beyond the camp. Behind me, I know the only real road is at times treacherous, and the railroads are in places makeshift, "...this".

Mannerheim gives me a knowing smile and says, "Well it keeps me out of Scandinavia, eh?" He stands, and I know our interview is concluded. We shake hands, and I prepare to leave with the departing convoy of soldiers, civilians, businessmen and reporters like myself. Hours later, as our wagon train departs into the darkness of the jungle, and the darkening sun fades behind the tall trees, I can only wonder what it is that inspires men to attempt to make a life for themselves in such a harsh landscape. It is people like Major Mannerheim that I can only guess we can thank for our colonies. The heat, the disease, the terrain; this land seems to seethe with vile hatred for humanity. That we have tamed it seems a miracle.


Portrait of Karl Mannerheim and a fellow graduate from the Royal Academy
 
OOC: "wops" is a slang term for Italian immigrants.

Ah! I should've guessed. When I think of slang for Italian, I think of goombahs.
 
ooc: I have a lot of stuff to sift through right now, will get caught up by Tuesday
 
This is the 48 hour warning to get those orders in.
 
This is the 24 hour warning to get those orders in.
 
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