How well would your ideal movie fare at the box office?

napoleon526

napoleon526

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http://www.chucklehound.com/cgi-bin/pages/boo2.html

This is too cool. Just choose a title, director, genre, writer, and actors and you can see how well your movie would do.

Here's the latest epic masterpiece from napoleon526:

Car Chases and Naked Women (R)
(Adventure/Chase)
Starring Russell Crowe and Kirsten Dunst
Also Featuring James Brolin, Rory Culkin, Liv Tyler, and Rachel Weisz
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Screenplay by J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien

Projected Budget Range: $50-59 Million
Planned Release Date: June

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$19.19 million (Opening Weekend)
$102.75 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 11%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 4%
 
Untitled Keenen Ivory Wayans Project (PG-13)
(Courtroom Drama)
Starring Vin Diesel and Téa Leoni
Also Featuring Orlando Bloom and Michelle Rodriguez
Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans
Screenplay by Peter Jackson

Projected Budget Range: $1-10 Million
Planned Release Date: June

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$15.76 million (Opening Weekend)
$85.48 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 9%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post

:rotfl:
 
My return to moviemaking!

My Love is a Goldfish (R)
(Lingering Illness/Talking Animal)
Starring Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman
Also Featuring Colin Farrell, Jimmy Smits, Cate Blanchett, and Kristin Scott Thomas
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Screenplay by Peter Jackson

Projected Budget Range: $70-79 Million
Planned Release Date: December

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$15.34 million (Opening Weekend)
$92.10 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 13%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 2%
 
I have high hopes for this one :lol:

Home Alone 6 (R)
(Hostage Drama)
Starring Vin Diesel and Jennifer Love Hewitt
Also Featuring Marlon Wayans, Sisqo, and Jennifer Lopez
Directed by John Woo
Screenplay by Ice Cube

Projected Budget Range: $0-1 Million
Planned Release Date: September

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$12.59 million (Opening Weekend)
$51.68 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 1%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Kenneth Turan, Los Angeles Times

:lol:
 
I can see the headlines now:

"A great family film! Elijah Wood sparkles as Little Timmy!"

How Little Timmy Avoided Eating His Broccoli (R)
(Revenge Fantasy)
Starring Elijah Wood and Julia Roberts
Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson and Kathy Bates
Directed by Chris Columbus
Screenplay by J.K. Rowling

Projected Budget Range: $40-49 Million
Planned Release Date: November

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$19.94 million (Opening Weekend)
$120.23 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 8%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jack Garner, Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Desson Howe, Washington Post
 
about time:

Clown College (PG-13)
(Comedy/Mob Comedy)
Starring Mike Myers and Julianne Moore
Also Featuring Willem Dafoe, Jessica Biel, and Parker Posey
Directed by Peter Jackson
Screenplay by Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly

Projected Budget Range: $20-29 Million
Planned Release Date: July

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$18.67 million (Opening Weekend)
$97.55 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 12%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post
 
Splendid Day (R)
(Caper Comedy/Revenge Fantasy)
Starring George Clooney and Julia Roberts
Also Featuring Tom Hanks, Samuel L. Jackson, and Liv Tyler
Directed by Peter Jackson
Screenplay by Jim Taylor and Frances Walsh

Projected Budget Range: $50-59 Million
Planned Release Date: June

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$19.43 million (Opening Weekend)
$115.07 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 17%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Ron Wells, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Matthew Abrams, Chucklehound.com

:rotfl:
 
Vin Diesel the xXx President (R)
(Lingering Illness/Mystery/Talking Animal)
Starring Vin Diesel and Azura Skye
Also Featuring Jamie Foxx and Julia Roberts
Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans
Screenplay by Luc Besson

Projected Budget Range: $60-69 Million
Planned Release Date: October

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$13.50 million (Opening Weekend)
$64.56 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 3%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jay Carr, Boston Globe
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post
 
America Always Wins, Fool! (R)
(War)
Starring Mel Gibson and Renée Zellweger
Also Featuring Ian McKellen, Joaquin Phoenix, and Aaliyah
Directed by Ridley Scott
Screenplay by Jonathan Hales

Projected Budget Range: $100-109 Million
Planned Release Date: May

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$17.18 million (Opening Weekend)
$99.20 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 12%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 3%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jack Garner, Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat
 
Indiana Jones Meets Charlie's Angels (PG-13)
(Adventure/Spy/Talking Animal)
Starring Harrison Ford and Lucy Liu
Also Featuring Clive Owen and Cameron Diaz
Directed by John Woo
Screenplay by John Logan

Projected Budget Range: $70-79 Million
Planned Release Date: June

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$17.43 million (Opening Weekend)
$82.62 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 4%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 1%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat

Whoops, this one failed.
 
Civ 3 God: Into the Lives of the Truly Great (PG)
(True Story/Documentary)
Starring Ewan McGregor and Téa Leoni
Also Featuring Christopher Lee, Viggo Mortensen, and Amy Adams
Directed by Ron Howard
Screenplay by M. Night Shyamalan and Steven Zaillian

Projected Budget Range: $40-49 Million
Planned Release Date: November

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$12.27 million (Opening Weekend)
$101.83 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 16%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 8%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jack Garner, Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post
 
Mein Bling-Bling (R)
(Societal Satire)
Starring Samuel L. Jackson and Thora Birch
Also Featuring Jon Bon Jovi, Christopher Walken, Eliza Dushku, and Fairuza Balk
Directed by Spike Lee
Screenplay by Philip K. Dick and Ice Cube

Projected Budget Range: $50-59 Million
Planned Release Date: November

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$10.33 million (Opening Weekend)
$52.46 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 4%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post

:hmm:
They just don't understand me...
 
Monkeyspank 2 (PG)
(Buddy Cop/Talking Animal/Comedy)
Starring R. Lee Ermey and Judi Dench
Also Featuring Willem Dafoe
Directed by John Woo
Screenplay by Mark Gibson and Buddy Johnson

Projected Budget Range: $10-19 Million
Planned Release Date: October

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$14.25 million (Opening Weekend)
$62.42 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 3%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: Slim to None

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jay Carr, Boston Globe
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Chris Gore, Film Threat
 
Originally posted by napoleon526
America Always Wins, Fool! (R)
(War)
Starring Mel Gibson and Renée Zellweger
Also Featuring Ian McKellen, Joaquin Phoenix, and Aaliyah
Directed by Ridley Scott
Screenplay by Jonathan Hales
Click to expand...
That would be cool.

I wanna see this one:

It's a Trivial Life (PG-13)
(Office Politics/Postmodern Angst/Midlife Crisis)
Starring Kevin Spacey and Michelle Pfeiffer
Also Featuring John Malkovich and Steve Zahn
Directed by Steven Soderbergh
Screenplay by Stephen Gaghan

Projected Budget Range: $20-29 Million
Planned Release Date: March

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$8.97 million (Opening Weekend)
$51.69 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 12%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 5%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: The Self-Made Critic, Selfmadecritic.com
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: The CAP Ministry, CAP Alert
:ack:
 
Agincourt (PG)
(Historical Epic/Period Drama)
Starring Anthony Hopkins and Helen Hunt
Also Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, John Rhys-Davies, Kathy Bates, and Helen Mirren
Directed by Ron Howard
Screenplay by William Broyles Jr. and J.K. Rowling

Projected Budget Range: $40-49 Million
Planned Release Date: June

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$16.33 million (Opening Weekend)
$112.16 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 17%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 10%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Chris Gore, Film Threat
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Matthew Abrams, Chucklehound.com


Interesting algorithm used to determine box office...
 
Originally posted by Greadius
Monkeyspank 2 (PG)
(Buddy Cop/Talking Animal/Comedy)
Starring R. Lee Ermey and Judi Dench
Click to expand...
Move over Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston! America's found it's NEW favorite movie couple! :rotfl:
 
This must win an Oscar:

Barbarossa in Turkey (PG)
(Historical Epic/Drama/True Story)
Starring Harrison Ford and Helena Bonham Carter
Also Featuring Christopher Lee, John Rhys-Davies, Linda Cardellini, and Izabella Scorupco
Directed by Ridley Scott
Screenplay by Peter Jackson

Projected Budget Range: $140-149 Million
Planned Release Date: April

Projected Box Office Receipts:
$17.46 million (Opening Weekend)
$115.04 million (Total Domestic Gross)

Chance of getting Oscar Nomination: 14%
Chance of winning at least one Oscar: 3%

Critic Most Likely to Praise: Jay Carr, Boston Globe
Critic Most Likely to Skewer: Rita Kempley, Washington Post

Damn it, what's the problem with the Washington Post. And who is Rita Kempley?
 
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