If civ was real life.

If civ was real life city-states would probably be where you would want to live until Venice come by then someone conquers ALL of the Venetian empire.

America would be able to buy land around them (sorry Canada and Mexico...) and also see farther away

China would be spawning Great Generals

Brazil would be spawning Great Artists/Musicians/Writers during its Carnival festival

Russia would have double the iron, horses, and uranium...

India would have overcrowded cities but its unhappiness will be halved

Thailand would be getting double the culture, food, faith from Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Manila, and Kathmandu

Greece would have its Hellenic League of City-states (Valletta, Sofia, Bucharest, Belgrade, just naming the closest ones to Greece anyways, no offence to people from those cities)

If Civilization was real life,
France would've been founded in four thousand BC,
The Aztecs would've been on strike,
'Murica's capital wouldn't be D.C

The Mayans would've helped the Aztecs, Caesar wouldn't be rotten,
Slow turns, waiting, trashin' the turn button,
We don't care, we're playing simultaneous turns.
But everybody's like tf, hurry, the Huns acting like herns.
Bombers, careless, hitting on a dark day.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your selfish ways.

And we'll never be loyal (loyal).
It don't work in Civ 5,
The hordes would be yelling, Die y'all".
We ain't ready to win Nobel Prize.
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me King S'hai',
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live in paradise.

If Civ was real life. there would be no Global warning and climate change. no more polar ice caps melts and other craps. no more conserve energy. we could use all oil we want. that is one good thing.

If civ was real life I would be a blind Venetian who rules the world

If civ was real life:

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (pronounced [ˈmoːɦənd̪aːs ˈkərəmtʃənd̪ ˈɡaːnd̪ʱi] ( listen); 2 October 1869 – 30 January 1948) was an Indian warmonger and the leader of the National Socialist Indian Workers' Party (Nazi Party). He was chancellor of India from 4000BC to 2050AD. Gandhi was at the centre of Indian Empire and the Nuclear Holocaust.

If civ was real life
By: seanflokstra7

*Murican governor walks in*
Governor: Hello there sir
Person: Good morning, what brings you to my house?
Governor: The President has assigned you to work a piece of land, and you'll control and take care of that piece of land
Person: Alright, anything to feed America

*after arriving at the piece of land, turning out it is a piece of forest*
Person: What is this
Governor: This is the piece of land
Person: But I thought forests would have to be improved to work ar
Governor: Nope not in Murica
Person; BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE! THERES NOT EVEN A HOUSE! WHERE SHOULD I SLEEP!?
Governor: Figure it out yourself *drives off into the sunset*

.....

A Great General's speech to his men.

Men, don't give up hope yet, reinforcements will be coming in the next 200 years and if we fight hard enough we can bring jimmy back from the dead and if the scientists smash enough blue beakers together advanced weapons will be teleported to us plus we might even have another general help us because of our Warrior Code.


We will win! Those Viking Spearmen are no match for our Russian tanks!

*General blows whistle*

*men charge*

ARRRRRRRRRR

*Tanks clash with spearmen*

Soldier: Jimmy is dead again!

Tank Crewman: Hes trying breaking into my tank, HE-







Catherine: Hmm maybe my ally Gandhi will help us.

Cahillicus said:

What if for every game we play, we are actually controlling the events of an alternate universe?

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This post made me think twice about nuking cities.

soldier2975 said:

This post made me think twice about nuking cities.

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Yeah it made me think that too, time to double my payload of nukes everywhere!

direblade99 said:

If civ was real life, every major power would be a highly traditional secular socialist nation.

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Truly, a paradise. All industries and agriculture is totally automated. State mandated maximum marriage age of 16, study cosmology in school, get a job in the physics department of State University of Learning.

If civ was real life, there would only ever be 1 leader of each civ for the 6050 years, until the end of the world.

Nope,

GAME OVER: USA wins science victory long ago.

Furret said:

If civ was real life I'm pretty sure the US wouldve won a culture victory by now.

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No, they wouldn't, because Russia and Arabia adopted a different ideology and refuse to open borders.

If you're an America, you can see 1 hex further than everyone else.
If you're an Arabian, more people will be effected by your belief.
If you're an Assyrian, you get a free technology when you steal someone's house.
If you're an Austrian, you can buy or puppet your friend if y'all been together for 5 years.
If you're an Aztec, you get culture by killing whatever.
If you're a Babylonian, random scientists will fall into your backyard.
If you're a Brazilian, random artists will draw stuff for you.
If you're a Byzantine, you can have one extra belief.
If you're a Carthaginian, you can climb mountains but you'll take half of your life away.
If you're a Celtic, you get an extra faith if you live near an unimproved forest.
If you're a Chinese, you'll get help whenever you get into a fight.
If you're a Danish, you don't have to wait for the cops to show up when you've pillage.
If you're a Dutch, you'll still stay happy if you traded your last copy of Civilization V away.
If you're an Egyptian, you're a wondermonger.
If you're an English, you can swim faster than Michael Phelps.
If you're an Ethiopian, you're stronger if you're fighting someone with more houses.
If you're a French, more people will visit your house in "awes" and more "awes".
If you're a German, someone will join your side if you win in a fight.
If you're a Greek, you have real good relations with kids.
If you're a Hun, you can burn houses faster.
If you're an Inca, you can run up a hill at double speed.
If you're an Indian, nobody in your house will ever be mad.
If you're an Indonesian, you get free food.
If you're an Iroquois, you can run faster in a forest than Jason.
If you're a Japanese, you're the Hulk.
If you're a Korean, you're smarter than everyone else, including Newton, Einstein, and Hawking.
If you're a Mayan, you have your very own confusing calendar.
If you're a Mongolian, you scare kids.
If you're a Moroccan, you get money by trading whatever.
If you're an Ottoman (Turkish), you're a real good ship builder.
If you're a Persian, you're Dash.
If you're a Polish, you change characters every time a new era starts.
If you're a Polynesian, you can build a boat and sail on it across the world before your first birthday.
If you're a Portuguese, you get double amount of money from trading.
If you're a Roman, other people you own will build stuff faster if you have it.
If you're a Russian, you get a crap ton of pros if you own a cattle or horse.
If you're a Shoshone, your house is probably the size of Russia.
If you're a Siamese (Thai), you get free food from kids.
If you're a Songhai, you get free money from Morgan Freeman, who's also Songhai.
If you're a Spanish, you get more whatever if you live near a natural wonder.
If you're a Swedish, kids will help you earn Nobel Prizes.
If you're a Venetian, you can buy houses for free.
If you're a Zulu, you've probably fought and lived alongside Nelson Mandela's ancestors.

Magma_Dragoon said:

Truly, a paradise. All industries and agriculture is totally automated. State mandated maximum marriage age of 16, study cosmology in school, get a job in the physics department of State University of Learning.

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If Civ was real life, socialism would work. It would increase production and worker scientists would make science in factories. The envy of the rest of the world from the glorious proletarian utopia would be so great they would be dominated by unhappiness.

otaman1 said:

If you're a Brazilian, random artists will draw stuff for you.

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If you're Brazilian, monkeys in the jungle draw art for you. As long you provide them with red paint.

otaman1 said:

If you're an America, you can see 1 hex further than everyone else.

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If you're an America, you got binocular eyes.

otaman1 said:

If you're an Inca, you can run up a hill at double speed.

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If you're an Inca, you must have big legs.

otaman1 said:

If you're an Indonesian, you get free food.

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If you're an Indonesian, you got a dagger army with crazy random sword, with crazy random abilities.

otaman1 said:

If you're an Iroquois, you can run faster in a forest than Jason.

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If you're Jason maybe your ancestor is Hiawatha?

otaman1 said:

If you're a Polynesian, you can build a boat and sail on it across the world before your first birthday.

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If you're a Polynesian, you might be the host of world congress most of the time on archipelago maps.

otaman1 said:

If you're a Portuguese, you get double amount of money from trading.

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If you're a Portuguese, you copy kid's smile.

otaman1 said:

If you're a Spanish, you get more whatever if you live near a natural wonder.

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If you're a Spanish, you get more 500 whatever if you first spot a termite mound.

otaman1 said:

If you're a Venetian, you can buy houses for free.

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If you're a Venetian, you can buy kids and make them your house.

otaman1 said:

If you're a Zulu, you've probably fought and lived alongside Nelson Mandela's ancestors.

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If you're a Zulu, youre Descendant might be Vaas. Insanity eh.

If you were a Zulu, you would have random elephant skulls in your backyard