Gandhi walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at Gandhi, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Gandhi, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
Gandhi finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later Gandhi is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While Gandhi is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did just now?"
"No, what?" replied Gandhi.
"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Gandhi. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to poop that cue ball out, he measures everything first now."
