Ashurbanipal vs. Kamehameha

daveydave8

Chieftain
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Ashurbanipal DIDNT EVEN LIFT!!! Kamehameha according to legend not only lifted the Naha stone but totally shralped( gnarly surfer). Also Kamehameha has a spear...what does Ashurbanipal have?? Personally Kamehameha would win in a fight.:D
 
Forget that... Do you SEE that tablet Ashurbanipal is holding?! He lifts alright. And the beard gives him an advantage against that smooth cheeked Hawaiian. #teamashurbanipal
 
Oh yea? You should see Gandhi's cloth. Team Gandhi!
 
Kame has the spear which works well at a range, but if Ash can get in close, he looks like a mean grappler.
 
Forget that... Do you SEE that tablet Ashurbanipal is holding?! He lifts alright. And the beard gives him an advantage against that smooth cheeked Hawaiian. #teamashurbanipal

:lol:Hmmm, The tablet is menacing, but the spear has longer reach. The beard however, has a slight intimidation factor but may prove to be a hinderance if wrapped around Kamehamehas spear. The lion might be a bit of a game changer tho ;)
 
Yeah, as strong as Ash looks, that's not going to matter much when he gets that spear of Kame's lodged in his ribcage.
 
Yeah, as strong as Ash looks, that's not going to matter much when he gets that spear of Kame's lodged in his ribcage.

That should work out well for Kamehameha as long as he doesn't mind having a face full of lion while he's trying to do that.
 
That should work out well for Kamehameha as long as he doesn't mind having a face full of lion while he's trying to do that.

Sorry broski, but that lion is only in that statue of him. We're talking only official game canon here, and I sure didn't see a lion in his leader screen.
 
Kamehameha thrusts his spear at Ashurpanipal, but Ashurbanipal blocks it with his clay tablet. Both the tablet and spear are ruined. Ashurbanipal, his beard imparting dread in his smooth cheeked Hawaiian foe, grapples Kamehameha. As a last resort, Kamehameha bites Ashurbanipal's well muscled arm, but discovers to his utter dismay, like a certain lion, that Ashurbanipal's muscles are as hard and unyielding as the clay tablets he lifted to form them.
 
I see this descending into obscene homoerotic slash fic. I'm bailing out of this thread.
 
Ashurbanipal grunts in satisfaction as Kamehameha falls lifeless onto the golden Hawaiian sands. "Now for my prize!" He finds the Honolulu Public Library. Pushing his way through the women placing leis about his bullish neck, Ashurbanipal finds what he is looking for, why he sailed across miles of restless seas and sacrificed thousands of his faithful Assyrian soldiers. It is the one technology he still lacks, after all of his other glorious conquests. Ashurbanipal, his eyes dancing with delight, a vicious grin underneath his prodigious beard, and reams of bright rainbow flowers about his neck lifts the coveted scroll triumphantly. "The technology of Surfing! Cowabunga!"
 
Ashurbanipal, not even in his wildest dreams could have imagined that someday, 2600 years after his death, there would be people discussing "online" (whatever that means), in english (a language that would take more than 1000 years to appear), an hypothetical fight between him and a man born 2400 years after on the other side of the world. This ladies and gentleman, is the pinnacle of human history.
 
Ashurbanipal, not even in his wildest dreams could have imagined that someday, 2600 years after his death, there would be people discussing "online" (whatever that means), in english (a language that would take more than 1000 years to appear), an hypothetical fight between him and a man born 2400 years after on the other side of the world. This ladies and gentleman, is the pinnacle of human history.

I think Spike's Deadliest Warrior missed a real opportunity here:

"Great Hawaiian surfing king, Kamehameha versus ancient Mesopotamian autocrat bookworm Ashurbanipal. WHO. IS. DEADLIEST?!?!?!??!"
 
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