Orc Onslaught : Semulin

Dat same year we attacks da last elfin sity on da east coast. Dere ain't no shooty katapultz, but da Warg Ridas don't seem ta mind. Dey charges in and killz all da weedy elfs and we gets Laurelorn fur a new town. looks like da elfs only gots one town left. Ghaz gonna be happy. (1580 IC)

Da araby men wants an audience. We talk to dem. Dey wantz a mutual protektion pack. We not gonna fite dere warz for em. Dey gonna help us wif ourz! we tells em no. (1585 IC)

We usez da wisdum ob our great leada to Rush a Palace Fortress in da old elf kapitol ob athel loren. Dat gonna be summer home for gaz an me. (1590 IC)

Da boyz entrench round Lanuenath, dat am da last elfen city. Da amazons, who am meen girl hoomans, comes up and de-mandz we teach em caravans. We spitz on da messenger. Dey goes away and don' do nofin bout it. Dey musta 'eard what we done to da elfs. (1595 IC)

We lurnz Taktiks. Dat gonna help da war effort lotz. Da fire katapultz open up on Lanuenath. By de time da fires go down dere am nofin left for da boyz ta fite, we takes da sity eaisy. now da elfs is all ded. Ghaz has a big cele-bration in Gorkamorka, and we getz ready ta fite da westalandas. We just gonna take a few years ta get da boyz in place and den we go fite dem. (1600 IC)
 

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Da Roads near Alwylyn got pilliaged durin da wooden elf war. Dis mean dat our armie kant get back from ober dere. Der was enuf road ta get oba da mountain, but not enuf ta get back. (the orcs were stuck in the pass near Lanuen & Alwylyn for nearly 40 years as they waited for their slow labor force to construct the necessary roads. 1600 IC - 1640 IC)

Westaland and Araby men sign a peece treety. We decide not ta wait fur dat road ta be built, we gonna de-klair war on da westa landas now and worry bout gettin every buddy in place latta. We needs WAR! Tilea Demands we teach dem high magic, we teach em how ta give da middle finga. Westalandas come and seyz "gets out ob our territory!" we says "time for war chumps!"

We catches some westalanda workerz near Almshoven. Dat am stoopid place fur a sity, we gotz it surrounded wif our sitys. We takes it from dem soon.. We gives chaos Chivalry to deklare on da westa landas. Den we givs da gobbos battle magic ta deklare on da westalandas. We gonna hab fun soon (1615 IC, note the majority of the orcish army is still trapped in the mountains.)

westa landa mages shoot at our boyz and one ob dere archa's kilz a wulf chariot. we pretty un happie bout dat. Warg rida's attack almshoven but don't kill enuf spear-menz ta win uz da sity. (1620 IC)

Da araby men wantz ta cancle our rite ob passage. We don need ta go thru their landz so dat am fine wif us. We kilz all da spear-menz wif Warg Rida's and some ob de hoo-man merkinaries. Now Almshoven am an orcish sity. We moovez forces near Halsdorph. Looks like da westalanda's dont habe much land. Dis may be short war, mebby we kilz chaos nextest, or dese Araby men may be gettin too big fur dere britches, we findz out soon. (1625 IC, orc army still stuck)
 

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we haz done somefin trooly great.* We has buit da Waaagh! in gorkamorka.* Dis make us fite more betta.* Ghaz real happy, all da orcs in orcland scream at da same time and da racket am hurd round da wurld.* (1630 IC)
*
Dat ugly hoo man from kislev come and demand 50 gold.* Dat ammount ob money ain't worf much ta uz, but we not gonna gibe dem notin.* Dey can't go thinkin' dat dey can demandz stuf from us.* Fur good measure we demandz he teach us bout polearms, but he don't.* We attacks Hassledwarf and kilz three spear menz, but dere am still archas left in da sity.* Dese westalandas don't habe no iron so dey can't do much real fitin.* (1635 IC)
*
Da sylvanian sity ob templehoof makes de, um, Limber Morris or somefin.* (Liber Mortis)* We kilz da archas in Halsdorph and it am our sity now.* We captuas da Westalanda sity ob Broekwater dat year too.* Da westalandas gotz one sity what we know where it am, and one odder one what we don't.* De one we kan see am way up norf and we an't gonna bodder wif it. De odder one, we don't know where it am, so we ain't gonna bodder wif it.* We decides dat since our armie will be free soon, it about time ta go ta war wif araby men, dem de only ones we gots a border wif now.* We do dat soon.* (1640 IC)
*
Da road am compleet! our armee can getz out and fite! we starts planin bout war on araby men.* Kislev compleets da Sit-a-dale ob sunset.* We have ta smash dem one day.* Da goblin's took dat town we could see wif da westalandas.* so dey only gots one left.* we start gatherin' da boyz in Broekwater for de day when we attack da araby men.* We is gonna try an' take enuf land from dem so dat we hab a border wif chaos people so we can fite dem too soon.* we done good in 2 warz so far now, so da boss is thinkin' dat mebby doin 2 warz at de same time wuld be gooder.* (1645 IC)
*
We Trades Chaos Edumakation fur Polearms.* We trades da gobbos Blak Artz fur Mercantilism.* Da Stunties Ask us fur a mutual protektiun pact.* We laughs at dem. Da Kislevites done built da Knights Pantha.* (1650 IC)
*
We haz made da thirst fur powa in Goff.* Dis will lets us look fur arti-facts. Dere am lotsa troop movin an' such, we be at war soon ! (1655 IC)
*
 
Da Kunnin' Plan.

We gotz a kunnin plan fur attackin' da araby men. Furst we gonna habe all da boyz go ta Halsdorph and Broekwater. Den all da boyz in Halsdorph am gonna pick up swords and spears and run toward Marienburg and kill all da araby men. Next all da boyz in Broekwater grabs swords and spears and run toward Aarnath Dem killz araby men too. Dat am Kunnin' Plan.
 

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Cunning, but it diden't work out so well :) Here's what the history book says about the "Plan"....

We elimunates da last westalanda forces in our landz. Part one ob da kunnin' plan iz implumented, boyz start ta move ta da launch sitys. (1655)

Da araby menz starts movin troops in ta our landz. Dis culd mean we gets ta fite sooner dan we pland on. (1660 IC)

Da Araby menz leaves when we asks dem to. Dem iz panzys. We showz 'em how ta fite soon, da boyz is almost in place fur da Kunnin' Plan. (1665 IC)

Our Mil-a-Terry advisor seyz da araby menz has a bigger army den uz. We gotz ta make more troops. We not gonna let dat stop uz from startin a war though... (1670 IC)

We deklarz war on da araby menz. Dey had it commin. We moves da boyz inta araby land. Dey be gud to attack soon. We haz da gobbos and da chaos men deklar on araby too. Dat will fix da problem ob habin a smaller armie. (1675 IC)


Da Sylvanians demandz 45 gold peicez. We izn't gonna gibe dem ugly goths notin! Dey deklarez war on uz. Dat am stoopid, dey too far away to really do much to uz. But Ghaz seyz he gotz an idea about somefin... Most ob da Kunnin' Plan worked ok. Da boyz grabed a bunch ob spears an' swords an' ran toward Aarnau, but before we could eben attack da sity, araby menz in chain armour and wif curvy swords comes out and killz all da boyz. We kilt more araby men den dey kilt boyz, but dere sure am lots ob dem. Mebby we is in trouble...Da boyz attackin Marionburg haz no such problemz tho. Dey killz all da araby men, getz some slavez and cause dey done so gud, a military leader apears and seyz he gonna make a blak orc armie! We instalz a new gov'ner, sacrifices da slavz ta gork an' mork and makes a blak orc armie. So de assult on Marionburg wuz real gud. De other assult wuz not so gud.

Ghaz decide dat if da sylvanians iz gonna be dum and deklare on us, dat dey iz gonna hafta fite sum. We gives learnin to lots ob people on der own kontinent ta deklare on dem! Da Lizard menz, Da Stunties, Da bretonians, Da Albionz and Da Amazons all deklare on sylvania. Letz see how dey likes dat. Den we haz Tilea deklare on dem too. (1680 IC)

Da araby men movez lotsa der boyz towards da sity ob marion burg. Da sylvanian sity ob Leicheberg makes da springs ob eternal life. We iz not impressed. Da Kislevite sity ob Tor Elyr makes Da Gnome Workshop. We iz impressed wif dat. Den da kislevite sity ob Olnza makes da orda ob da wite wulf. We beats da sitizens ob marienburg ta make a baraks fast. It gonan be hard ta hold on ta dis sity. dey may getz it back. Ghaz kind ob worried bout dis. (1685 IC)
 

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Da Araby men attacks marion berg. We iz in trouble, dey kilz eberyting dere but a goblin worker. Westalandas rekwest an audience, we sendz dem pakin. Now we gotz a de-lima. Dere am only a gobbo worker and 7 Fire Katapultz in Marienburg. Dey ain't gonna hold de sity from de tin billion or so araby men tryin ta kaptur it. Ghaz relizez dat we gotz ta gib da sity away if we wantz ta keep our troops. We gives it to da pasty elfs. (high elves) We figure it be eaisy ta takes it back cuz dey is real week, and dem not at war wif araby men, so mebby araby men won't just take it from dem.

Dis meanz we done lost da advantage and is gonna be playin' a de-fence-ive war. We gather our troopses in Halsdorph and Broekwater, dese iz de places most likely ta get attaked. Ghaz orderz dat our Ekonimy be "Mobilized" dat makes us make troops fasta. (1690 IC)

Araby menz movin lotsa der boyz toward Halsdorph. We makes a Keep in da hopes dat it will let us keep da sity. (1695 IC)

Chaos seyz de will gives us a Rite ob Passage an' a Mutual Protektion Pack if we gives dem 83 gold ebery 5 yearz. We not interested and upset dat dey would ask somefin' like dat. Reikland and Sylvania sign a trade embargo against us, who carez, dey kan't trade wif us nohow.

We de-skovers Astronomy! Soon we be able ta make boats what kan get to dem sylvanian peoples we hates. Da kislavite sity ob Preslave makes da anvil ob doom. Ghaz angry cuz he were tryin ta make dat. (1700 IC)

Lots ob araby men now around halsdorph, we expects dem ta attak soon. Chaos sign a peace treaty wif westalandas. Araby men sure am taken der time bout attaken halsdorph. (1705 IC)

Now arabyan menz is movin toward Broekwata, dem kan't decide whur ta attak. Dat gonna be der down-fall. (1710 IC)

Da Kaos menz makes Da Alta ob Ultimate Dorkness in Ulangor.
 

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We trades wulfs and Iron to da gobbo's fur lotsa gold. Araby men trys ta take Halsdorph, but we kilz dem all fur no losses. Dey movez lotsa troopses toward Laureorn, goin rite past Broekwata. (1720 IC)

We makes da Doomfire ring in Gorkamorka, dis am furst ob de artifacts. It don' do much by it's self. Araby men attackes Laurenlorn and kilz lotsa gobbos. Dey attacks Boerkwata and kilz all but one orc spear men. Dey may kaptua boerkwatta soon. Ghaz not happy. Our Katapultz and a decent sized army am gathered in Halsdorph, dey gonna strike deep inta araby men teritory and make dem suffa. (1725 IC)

De araby menz kaptua boerkwatta. We made dem pay fur it, but dey still winz. Chaos and araby signed an embargo against uz. Dat am strange, we thout kaos liked us. We starts movin out troops from Halsdorph. We tink dey is gonna go attack Leydenhoven, but wif orcs ya never kan tell where dey gonna attack till dey does it. (1730 IC)

Alot ob our ogas move toward Broekwatta, we wanted ta wait fur more build up, but dey woulden't wait. (1735 IC)

Da arabymenz had a big armie near Broekwatta, dey attacks our ogers but we kilz dem, dey moves more troopses toward loranlaun. Dem ogres and some merkinaries rekaptuas Broekwatta. (1740 IC)
 

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we fites off some araby men near Broekwatta and getz a leada! Grimgore Ironhide shows up, him gonna make anotha armie! (1745 IC)

Da Araby menz attacks borkwatta, but we holdz. We landz a small force near da small arabymen town ob sudrat. We not really plannin on winnen, just checkin ta see how ta load boyz off boats and such. Gonna need dat when we figuas out how ta make decent boats. We cleanz up some araby men what are in our land and gets our armie ready to attack nextest time. (1750 IC)

Westaland and Gobbos sign a peace treaty, Reiklund and bretonia goez ta war. De Orcs dont really care bout either one. Ghaz real angry, Leydenhoven wur da town we wuz gonna attak an take frum araby, but da gobbos runz in an takes it. Da sylvanian sity ob Verezzo makes da Sistas ob Shallya.

We signz a rit ob passage wif da gobbos so we kan get ta more araby sitys. we sels dem som spice fur dere beer too.

We getz our boyz close ta an araby town and clearz out all dere boyz in our landz. Dis war bout ta start goin' our way!
(1755 IC)

dem boyz what got off da boat near dat sudrat place all getz killt. Dat am ok. Da gobbo sity ob Gunbad haz made da towa ob Zhar-Naggerund or somethin'. We kaptuaz Kalkaat which am specially gud cause dere am lotsa gobbos an' Kaos people dere what wanted ta take it furst.
(1760 IC)
 

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Thanks PSYCHO, it's good to know folks are enjoying the orcs challenges. :)

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Da araby menz comez up wantin' a peace treatie. We laughs at dem. Lots ob kaos men am commin thru headed toward araby men land. Dey all but done, just uz, kaos and da gobbos gonna pick up da peces. (1765 IC)

Kislev deklared war on da sylvanianz!! dis am great newz! hopefully de will knock each odda down and da orcs can klimb to da top! We deklarz peace on da westalandas. Ghaz say it am ok to do dat so we kan build some more shrinez fur gork an mork. (1770 IC)

Kaos attacks El-Alhadhr, da sity we am gonna attack. Dey not take it, just kilz a few spearmenz so we don't hafta. It am a Iron sity, so will weaken da araby men when we takes it. We attacks Aarnau and kaptuas da sity. Not only dat, we gets anutha leada ta make anutha armie ta smash da araby men!

We launches da assault on El-Alhadhr and kaptuas it eaisy, fur dere am many fire katapults ta help us dere. We captuas lotsa slaves dere too. (1775 IC)

We trades da kaos Blak Artz fur Enjinerin. Gobbo's kaptuad a town south ob dat El-somfin place we gots. Da Kislevite sity ob Rakhov hab made da theif's guild charta.

We iz movin troops ta Bel-Aliad, dat am de araby men kapital and likely ta habe da bestest plunda. We gots ta beat da gobbos and kaos dere tho. (1780 IC)
 

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Araby menz drop off lotsa troopses near Almshoven. We trades lotz ob Tek-no-ligy wif peoples on de otha kontinent fur gold. We gotz lotsa gold now. We kontinues ta move forces ta araby men kapitol. We also move a sekondary force to da arabymen sity ob Erlach, it am west ob Halsdorph. (1785 IC)

We repel da araby men attack on almshoven, but an arabymen horseman kilz one ob our workkas. De albioneres teach us nature lore fur da seckrets ob battle majik. Dis mean we kan send Trolls out ta do our fitin! (1790 IC)

We haz kaptuad Bel-Aliad! De araby kapital sity am ourz! We Kaptuas Erlach too. Dis am gud year fur uz. (1795 IC)

Ghaz decide dat he am tired ob hearin about how great dis Kislev place am. Konstruction am started on a great fleet o' war ships what am gonna smash dat place.

Da boyz near more ob our objektives in Araby men land. (1800 IC)

We haz lurnt Navigation! Dis am de way we will barsh dem Kisslevits! We doez some tradin' and endz up lurnin Invention and gettins some more gold. We also deklares peace on da sylvanians. No need ta habe dem attackin our boats while we getz inta place ta attack da kisleveites.

Da kislavites hab made da brotha hood ob da bear. We sick ob hearin bout dis stuff, dat am why dey am gonna get bonked.

We kaptuas da araby men sity ob Sud and get sum slaves. It am useless sity, in dum place, but we try to rebuild it nice. We kaptuas El-Shamab which am gud, cuz da goblins done had a lot ob troops norf ob it and we wuz thinkin dey wuz gonna get dis one.
 

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Da furst orc Hulkz am made in da port sity ob Whump. Dese am gonna carry our war ta da kislavites. (1805 IC)

Da kislavites demandz 10 gold, we telz dem to fump off and dey de-klarez on uz. Da boyz am still marchin ta attack araby men landz, da hulkz am headen west ta find ocean routs ta dem kislavites so we kan kilz some ob dem.
(1810 IC)

Amazons ally wif kislev against us. We want marionburg back so we de-klarz war on da pasty elfs. We kaptuas da sity ob Ahlad eaisy. (1815 IC)

We Rainz fire on da sity ob El-Kalabad and de boyz charge in and claimz it fur us. We takes marionburb back from da pasty elfs, it wuz nice ob dem ta hold on to it fur us for a while. (1820 IC)

Da sylvanians habe destroyed da amazons. afta heavy losses da gobbos kaptua da araby men sity ob Lasheik. It were one we wanted, but it am ok, we kan take from dem lata if we needz it. We kaptuaz Sudrat wif berry little effort, da araby time almost over, dey gonna be all gone off da face ob dis place. (1825 IC)

Da stunties sign an alliance wif Kislev against uz. Da people ob El-Saamab Ober throw uz and makes dem selfs araby men sity again! Ghaz upset, we loose 3 ork spearmenz! We takes it back and runz up some gallows fur da ones what oberthrowed uz. We kaptuaz Calimbar, which am good cuz Kaos and WESTALANDAS wuz close ta gettin it. We kaptuaz Argigil, dis am gonna be gud west coast port fur kislev invasion.
 

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We makes peace wif da pasty elfs. We firez lotsa fire kat-a-pult shotz at Maharek , but dey don't hit nottin. We decides ta attack any wayz and kaptuaz da sity. (1835 IC)

We haz made da Grand Skool ob War in Gorkamorka! De armies what we habe will do betta now wif more learnin! We makes peace wif da araby men fur dere last sity. Da chaos men will take de otha one and dat am ok wif uz. We ready to focus our war effortz on Kislev!

We tradez sanitization to da kaos and gobbos fur some gold, an' signs a rite ob passage wif da kaos so de will go and kaptua dat last araby men sity.

Da boyz start gatherin' in Maharek. Da botz am gonna come pick dem up soon. (1840 IC)

Da stuntiez deklare war on sylvania, Araby an Kislev sign an embargo ganst us. We signs an alliance and rit ob passage wif da sylvanians against da kislivites. Dere am many hulkz ordered ta be built ta getz us ober dere. We also sign alliance wif Tilea against da kislivite menz.
(1845 IC)

Lotza boyz am ready to go attack, but we got not enuf boatz! More is ordered, da onz we habe is filled and sails off. (1850 IC)
 

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This is an excellent story, and I've laughed myself to tears on more than one occassion. :lol: Only problem is that after reading all three pages, I've caught myself thinking in "orkish" :crazyeye: :lol: I'm half tempted to put the FF mod on hold and download the WH mod after reading these ork stories.
 
Thank you! It's great to hear that you're enjoying my story!
I look forward to the FF mod also, so don't stop :)
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We tradez kaos Iron fur lotsa gold. We renewz rite ob passage wif da gobbos. Da goblinz finally kil da araby men an' take dere last sity. (1855 IC)

Our shipz hab found ocean passage ta britonia! Dis gib us a beach 'ead on da otha kontinent if we make nice wif dem. We sign a rit ob passage wif dem and gives dem some old teknology fur kicks. (1865 IC)

We Lurnz Cartography. Dis will make gettin to da odda kontinent more easier. We tradez maps so dat we habe a gud view ob da wurld. Afta we kan see ebery fing, we decide we gonna need da empire ta be our frendz too, so we build an embacy dere and sign rite ob passage. (1870 IC)

Da furst boat load ob boyz approches Bretonian shorz. (1875 IC)

Da boyz land on Bretonian landz, soon we take dis war to da kislavites! (1880 IC)
 

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Da sylvanian sity ob Drakenhooof haz made da Pile ob Skulz. Dere am a pile ob skulz out my windo from all da elfs I eated. Whoo karez if da sylvanianz makes one too?

Da gobbos and kislev sign an embarg gainst us. Dat kood be bad, we not wanna fite gobbos rite now. (1885 IC)

One kislev guy on a horse landz near Mahalrik. We gonna tear it ta bitz. We smashes him gud. (1890 IC)

Da boyz am movin thru Bretiona Towards da kislivite sity ob Lisounne. Dat sound like it may hab been bretonian at wun time. We needs it ta establish a base ob operations ober 'ere. (1895 IC)

Da leezard menz signs an alliance wif da kislev men against uz. Ghaz habe a good laugh bout dat. One boat ob boyz could take ober dere whole island.
(1900 IC)

Da boyz am in position ta attack Lisounne soon (1910 IC)

Lisounne were litly defended an' we takes it eaisy. Da people what lives dere am Kislev people and Bretonian people. We gonna run dem off an' get som loyal orcs in 'ere. (1915 IC)

Slan and da Stunties sign a trade embargo against us. Da blak death strikes Broekwatta and Gorkamorka. Dere am lotsa sik orcs what cough up alot and get week like hoomanz. We hurryz a shrine in Lisounne, time ta build up some orc kultur dere. (1920 IC)

Da stunties sign an alliance against uz wif da kislevites. We lurnz Elementalism. I fink dat am gonna let uz build me a new palace and mebby somefin ta make our boats go fasta. Da boyz close in on Avelorn, dis am kislevite town. We kilz some cross-bow-men what dey sent out. We not sure what dem waz cross about, but dey am ded now and kan talk about it wif gork an' mork. (1925 IC)

Da kislavites send out some ob dere boyz ta fite ourz around dat town, but we fites dem off. We kaptuaz Avelorn, dis am de sekond orc sity on de new kontinent.
 

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we payz da empire ta deklare war on da kislevites, we needs some one else ta put da pressua on dem. (1930 IC)

Dis blak death strikez more ob our townz. We not happy bout dien like dat. (1935 IC)

Da kislev sity ob Erengrad builds Old Weird Incunablum. Dis am like my green library, but it aint been sacked by orcses, we gonna 'member dat sity so we kan kaptua it. Dis sity, Avelorn, what we kaptured a while ago, haz Pasty Elfs, Sylvanians and Kislevites livin' in it. Normally when we kaptuas a sity, we kilz off most ob de old rulen types, but we decide ta keep dis sity like it iz. Ethnik Dy-Versity am gud so sayz Ghaz. (1940 IC)

We renewz rit ob passage wif da kaos. We kapturez Tor Elyr an' it hab de Gnome Workshop in it. Now we gonna hab de gnomes make us nike shooz so we kan run inta battle fasta! (1945 IC)

Tilea wantz an alliance against da kislavites. Dat sound gud ta uz. Sylvania wantz ta renew allaince against da kislavites, dat sound gud ta uz. Dey payz uz lotsa gold fur some spicez. (1950 IC)

We kaptuaz Anlec, an wif dat de old Kisleve east coast am now de Orcs East cost! (1955 IC)

We makes da Palace ob da Shaman Caliph in Gorkamorka. Dis am new houze fur me. We gonna strike deep in kislavite territory soon. (1960 IC)

Albion and Kislev sign an alliance against uz. We signs an alliance wif da lizards against da albioners, afta we deklarez peace on dem. Da kislavites made da miricle kure in Kisliv. We gonna destory dat sity soon.

We landz a bunch ob boyz near da sity ob Tzeskgarl up north in kislev land. Dis am part ob Ghaz's newest kunnin' plan, called da hamma and da hamma.

We gonna come in from da north and da south. We gonna katch da hoomans between "da hamma" of a whole bunch ob boyz and "da otha hamma" of a whole bunch ob boyz. It am quite kunnin' and brewtal.(1965 IC)

We renewz rite ob passage wif bretonians and sings an alliance wif dem against da Kislivites. Da sylvanians attack Preslav, a kislivite sity, and pound da defenderz to bitz, but don't quite kil dem all, dat make it real eaisy fur uz ta take it soon.
 

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