Fox-05: The RNGod Strikes Back

One of the first things to happen, post-war-declaration, was us scoring a shiny new artist. Well, I decided to send him up to the front where I'd later bomb a city out of rebellion.



Now, still, while waiting on troop movement and bombardment, I made my personal objective.



Which was critical, because that open back door was causing some problems.





Hanibal had split his forces, so I could no longer dump all my defense in one direction. Plus, this made it look like he wasn't going to throw any units at my cities. Rather he was going to pillage and run back to his homeland. I had to attack, which means I wouldn't get the advantage of pike v elephant match-ups and similar. So, now that I made my gold, I could spend it all on upgrades.

Upgrade a mace to a grenny (after giving him a couple CR promotions if I remember)



And upgrade a chariot to a knight



Somewhere in the mix, I upgraded a spearman to a pike as well, but I guess I didn't take that screenie. I also took some of our attacking maces and made them greenies with CR promotions. (But that was later). Now then, on to the actual Carthagocide at hand.



Our cats and trebs bombard Phoenician from 100% to 19% in one turn, 0% the next. We're ready to attack.

Td4xLc3





Td4xLc3





XPMd4xPc3



Td4xCc3#



Check



[to be continued]
 
Taking a break from the war for a second, I look inside some of our cities. Beijing is very unhappy.



Why? Six MFing emancipation unhappiness. Dammit! We're way too dumb to clean that up quickly! We can't build the globe theater there (I assume we already have two national wonders there), so we're screwed. Maybe we can extort some good tech from Mr. Barca when we're done stealing XP from him.

Anyhow, back to the war. I realized--after I took the city--that our XP monkey upgrades for free. So he's now a Grenadier.



Oh, and remember that Great Artist?





I know, not the best use for him, but I want to end this war quickly. The sooner we can get our troops down for more killin, the sooner we can extort hippy techs from Carthage. Speaking of techs...





Yay, us! Whatever. My set now winds down. Up north was a ass-filled cat and mouse game. Somewhere in the middle of it, jerk-off strolled up with a galley of elephants and knights. One of those elephants was pinch-promoted (so you know he has gunpowder now). This meant that I couldn't attack it with a knight or a grennie. I had to drag a pike up from Phoenician to take it out. Anyhow, I think all he has left is a crossbow. Either way, it's mop-up and we can take the war further south without worrying about our north.



In the end, while he pillaged the ever loving bajeebus out of our land up there, we didn't lose a single unit my entire set.

I only played eight. That got us to 1750, a nice round number. So we should still have 22 turns left to complete the XP Monkey's rise to glory. One other note, I got fed up with all the damned workers and nothing for them to do. I set them to automate. I have "leave old improvements" checked, so they wouldn't be dangerous. I forgot to de-automate them though. Sorry. Next guy, once the north is clear, should take the workers and rebuild our north-west territory.

Fair enough?
 

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Holy Random SH!t. You sure wastes no time in trying to fulfill objectives, eh? With 1xp added every battle, it takes 13 more battles to achieve that. Too long, considering he can only attack once per turn. OTOH, it will be too risky to leave him defedning alone so as to accumulate defensive XP. The best course of action to keep attacking and hhope for a GG. However, can we attach a GG to a Warlord again? Never tried, I don't think so. Thus, it will have to be another unit that gets the Warlord, while XP Monkey just so randomly happens to be on the same tile as that unit being attached. Thus, the 20XP will be shared, making it a maximum of 10XP to XP Monkey. Hence, we need 3 more battles from XP Monkey.

--

Tribal Objectives Completed Thus Far
  • (N.A) Acquire a religion ~ started:4000BC, completed: 3070BC, 31 turns.
  • (4x2) Learn 2 techs in the next age ~ started:3070BC, failed after 35 turns, punishment: (5) Empty all cities for (1d6=3) turns, done
  • (6x6) Obtain (1d6=1)+2 more new resources ~ started:1990BC, completed: 1150BC, 29/30 turns
  • (1x2) Build a Wonder or Project ~ started: 1150BC, failed after 40 turns, punishment: (2) Whip all cities, done
  • (1x5) Promote a unit (1d6=3) times ~ started: 475BC, declared failed after 10 turns, punishment: (3) move (1d6=1) unit to the northmost point, done
  • (12) Spread a religion to (1d6=1)+3 cities ~ started: 325BC, completed:185AD, 34/50 turns
  • (1x2) Build a wonder or project ~ started: 185AD, completed: 860AD, 45/45 turns
  • (1x6) Capture or found (1d6=4) cities ~ started: 860AD, completed: 1274AD, 45/50 turns
  • (1x3) Learn 2 techs that enables wonder or religion ~ started: 1274AD, completed: 1322AD, 6/50 turns
  • (12) Spread a religion to (1d6=3)+3 cities~ started: 1322AD, completed: 1532AD, 35/45 turns
  • (3x3) Capture a capitol or size (1d6)+5 city~ started: 1532AD, completed: 1586AD, 26/40 turns
  • (1x6) Capture or found (1d6=2) cities~ started: 1586AD, completed: 1607, 9/30 turns
  • (5x5) Capture a city with wonder or shrine~ started: 1607AD, failed after 30 turns, punishment: (5) Empty all cities for (1d6=4) turns, done
  • (4x5) Get something for free from other Civ~ started: 1697AD, completed: 1734AD, 13/40 turns
  • (3x6) Add (1d6=4)+10 xp to a single unit~ started: 1734AD, yet-to-complete, 22(total: 30) turns remaining, XPMonkey: starting=39, target=53, now=40

Personal Objectives Completed Thus Far
  • Rex: (2) Capture or found a city ~ failed, punishment: (1) All workers to stay inside cities simultaneously for 1 turn, done
  • Fox: (5) Have a culture pop ~ failed, punishment: (3) Change civics or state religion, done
  • Ozbenno: (4) Spread a religion ~ failed, punishment: (4) whipped away (1d6=2) pop, done
  • vra379971: (2) Capture or Found a city ~ founded Guangzhou
  • Omni Paul: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Masonry learnt
  • Ruff: (6) Get 300 gold ~ failed, punishment: (5) play (1d6=5) turns less, done
  • Berserks01: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Guangzhou
  • Fox: (2) Capture or found a city ~ Bantu captured
  • Rex: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Alphabet
  • Ozbenno: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Drama
  • vra: (6) Get 15 exp ~ failed, punishment: (4) whip away (1d6=2) pop, done
  • Ruff: (6) Increase (1d6=2)x3 exp ~ succeed
  • ChrTh: (6) Increase (1d6=5)x100 gold ~ succeed
  • Rex: (6) Increase (1d6=1)x3 exp ~ succeed
  • Berserks: (3) Learn a tech ~ Calendar
  • Fox: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Nanjing
  • Ozbenno: (1) kill (1d6=5) enemies ~ succeed
  • Vra: (1) kill (1d6=1) enemies ~ succeed
  • Rex: (4) Spread a Religion ~ karakorum
  • Berserks: (3) Learn a tech ~ Civil Service
  • Fox: (5) Have a culture pop ~ succeeded
  • Ozbenno: (5) Improve an AI's attitude ~ Hannibal (Annoyed > Cautious)
  • Vra: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Angle
  • Ruff: (6) Increase (1d6=2)x100 gold ~ succeed
  • Berserks: (5) Have a culture pop ~ succeeded
  • Rex: (6) Increase (1d6=1)x100 gold ~ succeed

Roster
  • GreyFox == perform illegal act ... not once, but twice!!
  • Ozbenno == Offered RNGod a pot ...
  • vra379971 == Trying to stage a mutiny ... what audacity!
  • Ruff == Overdosed of Kim-Chi Harms Your Concentration
  • Berserkers == Emptied our cities
  • Rex == Wastes no time in completing objectives
    [*]ChrTh == is UP ... but does he have Civ? ...
    [*]Omni_Paul == Missing, probably acting somewhere

Useful links:
Reporting Ground Rules

The most important rule is reports should be funny. Also, you should provide adequate details (preferably screenshots) on how an objective is achieved. Normal SG etiquette applies. Standard 24hrs to post a got it, 48hrs to play and report. If you can't play, just ask for a swap or skip.
 
The other option is to attack at lower probabilities, thus earning more XPs per battle.
 
Two things:

I'm UP?!? :eek: ... I don't see that as feasible since I still don't have Civ 4 :sad:

I always thought the "increase X gold" meant between the start of your turnset and the end of your turnset?
 
Personal Objectives Completed Thus Far
  • Ruff: (6) Increase (1d6=2)x100 gold ~ succeed
  • Berserks: (5) Have a culture pop ~ succeeded
  • Ruff: (6) Increase (1d6=1)x100 gold ~ succeed
Me think something fishy is going on here. Maybe the RNGod isn't smiling on Fox at the moment :mischief:
 
Me think something fishy is going on here. Maybe the RNGod isn't smiling on Fox at the moment :mischief:

I think Fox did it deliberately because of this:

And if we lose, we'll just blame fox for his poor analysis of the whip smiley. Here, Fox, try these...

Fox :bowdown: Rex
Rex :vomit: Fox
Rex :ar15: Fox
Rex :sniper: Fox
Rex :splat: Fox

:lol:
 
Achieving the Personal Objective

Okay, time for a kinky roll ... and listen, you cigar smoking monkey, I do not want police to come knocking on my door ... so you better don't get me to illegal position again!!!



Much better, here, have a Pholky Brand Pot.

This is thus the summary of the objectives:



Piece of cake, eh?

We shall see.

A close inspection reveals that the terrified-of-their-safety citizens of Karakorum actually has a Buddhist Miss fortified, trying to pretend to be a military unit.



No can do, Monk. Unless you are Chinese Shaolin Martial Monk. Wait a minute, you are Chinese! So, why the hell aren't you able to instill the sense of safety!?!?

Darned.

Fortunately, RNGod has loved my offer of pholky's pot ...



:lol: Now, that's what I call simple! Q.E.D.

However, I soon realized that His Randomness apparently follows Newton's first law as well: for every good fortune, there is an equal and opposite bad fortune.



Geez! :gripe: A knight withdrawn close-to-death by a lousy chariot!?!? :eek: That horse the knight is riding must be busy doing monkey business in the stable all night long!!! Rex, look what had you done!!!

:aargh:

Fortunately he withdrawn instead of died, else I have Sir Tyrannus scrubbing the stables for eternity.
 
Achieving the Tribal Objective ... or the attempt thereof.

After 2 battles against riflemen, XPMonkey has 4 more exp.



A few battles later, an even better news, we got a general ... albeit thousands of miles away.



With 7 more exp to go, the general would more than suffice.

Meanwhile, we learnt Rifling and Education:



Time to catch up in tech. I'd also agreed to Brennus 's trade embargo on Japan.



I also solved the mystery of the perpetual conversion of priest into engineer at Beijing. Someone click on Beijing to focus on production.

Speaking of Engineer, we have Mr James Watt.



I saved him in case next player rolled a build a wonder objective.

Ulica was captured:



and I dialed up Hannibal (Heh, too bad, Mr Lecter, though my lord is my shepherd, but the RNGod Minions are no silent lambs!) to see what he offer for peace.



Perhaps 1 or 2 more cities would convince him to share a few of those knowledge?

The general finally made the thousand miles journey, and no, you can't attach a general to a warlord.



So, the next player can choose attach the general to the sword and 10 exp would be distributed to XP Monkey, thus completing the objective.

--

Tribal Objectives Completed Thus Far
  • (N.A) Acquire a religion ~ started:4000BC, completed: 3070BC, 31 turns.
  • (4x2) Learn 2 techs in the next age ~ started:3070BC, failed after 35 turns, punishment: (5) Empty all cities for (1d6=3) turns, done
  • (6x6) Obtain (1d6=1)+2 more new resources ~ started:1990BC, completed: 1150BC, 29/30 turns
  • (1x2) Build a Wonder or Project ~ started: 1150BC, failed after 40 turns, punishment: (2) Whip all cities, done
  • (1x5) Promote a unit (1d6=3) times ~ started: 475BC, declared failed after 10 turns, punishment: (3) move (1d6=1) unit to the northmost point, done
  • (12) Spread a religion to (1d6=1)+3 cities ~ started: 325BC, completed:185AD, 34/50 turns
  • (1x2) Build a wonder or project ~ started: 185AD, completed: 860AD, 45/45 turns
  • (1x6) Capture or found (1d6=4) cities ~ started: 860AD, completed: 1274AD, 45/50 turns
  • (1x3) Learn 2 techs that enables wonder or religion ~ started: 1274AD, completed: 1322AD, 6/50 turns
  • (12) Spread a religion to (1d6=3)+3 cities~ started: 1322AD, completed: 1532AD, 35/45 turns
  • (3x3) Capture a capitol or size (1d6)+5 city~ started: 1532AD, completed: 1586AD, 26/40 turns
  • (1x6) Capture or found (1d6=2) cities~ started: 1586AD, completed: 1607, 9/30 turns
  • (5x5) Capture a city with wonder or shrine~ started: 1607AD, failed after 30 turns, punishment: (5) Empty all cities for (1d6=4) turns, done
  • (4x5) Get something for free from other Civ~ started: 1697AD, completed: 1734AD, 13/40 turns
  • (3x6) Add (1d6=4)+10 xp to a single unit~ started: 1734AD, yet-to-complete, 7(total: 30) turns remaining, XPMonkey: starting=39, target=53, now=46

Personal Objectives Completed Thus Far
  • Rex: (2) Capture or found a city ~ failed, punishment: (1) All workers to stay inside cities simultaneously for 1 turn, done
  • Fox: (5) Have a culture pop ~ failed, punishment: (3) Change civics or state religion, done
  • Ozbenno: (4) Spread a religion ~ failed, punishment: (4) whipped away (1d6=2) pop, done
  • vra379971: (2) Capture or Found a city ~ founded Guangzhou
  • Omni Paul: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Masonry learnt
  • Ruff: (6) Get 300 gold ~ failed, punishment: (5) play (1d6=5) turns less, done
  • Berserks01: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Guangzhou
  • Fox: (2) Capture or found a city ~ Bantu captured
  • Rex: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Alphabet
  • Ozbenno: (3) Learn a Tech ~ Drama
  • vra: (6) Get 15 exp ~ failed, punishment: (4) whip away (1d6=2) pop, done
  • Ruff: (6) Increase (1d6=2)x3 exp ~ succeed
  • ChrTh: (6) Increase (1d6=5)x100 gold ~ succeed
  • Rex: (6) Increase (1d6=1)x3 exp ~ succeed
  • Berserks: (3) Learn a tech ~ Calendar
  • Fox: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Nanjing
  • Ozbenno: (1) kill (1d6=5) enemies ~ succeed
  • Vra: (1) kill (1d6=1) enemies ~ succeed
  • Rex: (4) Spread a Religion ~ karakorum
  • Berserks: (3) Learn a tech ~ Civil Service
  • Fox: (5) Have a culture pop ~ succeeded
  • Ozbenno: (5) Improve an AI's attitude ~ Hannibal (Annoyed > Cautious)
  • Vra: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Angle
  • Ruff: (6) Increase (1d6=2)x100 gold ~ succeed
  • Berserks: (5) Have a culture pop ~ succeeded
  • Rex: (6) Increase (1d6=1)x100 gold ~ succeed
  • Fox: (4) Spread a Religion ~ Old Sara

Roster
  • GreyFox == Rein in the horny stead of Sir tyrannus
  • Ozbenno == UP to complete the 7 exp
  • vra379971 == Trying to stage a mutiny ... what audacity!
  • Ruff == Overdosed of Kim-Chi Harms Your Concentration
  • Berserkers == Emptied our cities
  • Rex == Wastes no time in completing objectives
    [*]ChrTh == 3 bucks richer but can only stare at Warlords disc ...
    [*]Omni_Paul == Missing, probably acting somewhere

Useful links:
Reporting Ground Rules

The most important rule is reports should be funny. Also, you should provide adequate details (preferably screenshots) on how an objective is achieved. Normal SG etiquette applies. Standard 24hrs to post a got it, 48hrs to play and report. If you can't play, just ask for a swap or skip.
 
Why can't we just attach the GG solely to another unit, it gets 20xp, thus achieving the tribal objective?

It must be a unit identified at the beginning, and Sir Tyrannus in all his cleverness after the unspeakable businesses with his stead decided "We Shall Not Choose The Easy Way" and selected a warlord unit to fulfill the objective.

Anyway, it is fun hammering on Hannibal (about the only one we could hammer without hitting our own toes).

I will treat it as a swap for now.

Roster
  • GreyFox == Rein in the horny stead of Sir tyrannus
  • vra379971 == UP to complete the 7 exp
  • Ozbenno == Swap birdie for now ...
  • Ruff == Overdosed of Kim-Chi Harms Your Concentration
  • Berserkers == Emptied our cities
  • Rex == Wastes no time in completing objectives
    [*]ChrTh == 3 bucks richer but can only stare at Warlords disc ...
    [*]Omni_Paul == Missing, probably acting somewhere

Useful links:
 
Okay, as Fox already points out...

the next player can choose attach the general to the sword and 10 exp would be distributed to XP Monkey, thus completing the objective.

So it's no big deal that I chose a warlord. For the record, when I started my set, we were way low on f5 XP to general chart and I didn't think we would get another. I figured we had to fight our way to greatness. In that light, the guy with free upgrades and 19 promotions seemed the right dude. Stick it in your ear.
 


Perhaps 1 or 2 more cities would convince him to share a few of those knowledge?
lurker's comment:
If all you wanted was the techs... once he's your vassal, you can just demand them from him for free. Right?
 
But doesn't he still retain the right to decline your demands?
 
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