Yes, I would reiterate for the benefit of the OP that, far from "never using" DoFs, these are one of the most useful mechanisms in the (patched) game. That's because DoFs are really the *only* effective way to limit warmonger hate when carrying out aggressive war. Those saying "never use" probably did not make DoFs with the right AIs, and got burned. It's true that the game gives few pointers to their use, but people have figured it out from trial and error, or by examining the XML. The following always give a warmonger hate demerit with every AI you are in contact with (may not be an exhaustive list):
- You declare war
- raze a city
- capture an AI capital
- kill a CS
- kill an AI civ
This will vary by AI civ depending on their warmonger hate threshold.
You can "mask" this negativity with an individual AI civ by having a DoF with that civ at the time of commission of the evil deed. That means if you are planning a war of aggression, you should some turns ahead (but not too many, as DoFs expire after 30(?) turns and you don't want them to run out right before you capture a capital or wipe out an AI civ) check out the diplomacy scene to see especially what are the other AIs relations with the target.
Another source of animosity will be AI border proximity. The AI doesn't like to be touched, but some of the AI civs, like Catherine, do like to touch you
Too bad there's no Boudica yet in CivV, or that Isabella is not nearly as sexy as she was in Civ4 - but only if you shared the same weird religious cult with her, then she got all perky-happy like she's the best girlfriend you'll ever have. Oh well, get a life and move on, and to think I'm married! In either case, touchy-feely borders mean the closest AI civs will be most hostile. So you will be keeping your enemies closer, as the old Mafia saying goes, whether you like it or not. So an obvious counter will be to seek DoFs with AI civ on the other side of your neighborly enemies while trying to draw them into wars with your near enemies with bribes or DPs.
Note that even if you are attacked (DoWed) by the AI, commission of any of the above save the first obviously will produce the same warmonger hate result. Yes, yes, you are pursuing a strategy of peaceful defensive builder and were brutally attacked for no apparent reason, and of course the AI being a military idiot due to the additional burden gratuitously imposed by 1UPT considerations (so many things wrong with that design decision!) you will have invariably taken the war to the enemy, committing the war crimes listed above and making you Worse Than Hitler, without the mask of the DoF. There now, wasn't that rewarding for the successful and righteous punishment of a vicious aggressor, and defense of peaceful builder You? You and Saddam Hussein, that is!
There are other sources of negativity such as You Are Wonder-spamming, Land Coveting (usually your same enemy neighbors who already hate you for touching them, so this is just DoublePlus hate, but note that Land Coveting hate can be triggered without border touching if you settle in an area the AI has already mapped out in its AI mind for its own settlement), and my favorite, You Are Trying To Win Like Me, because only the individual AIs are allowed to play to win, and if you try to do the same, it's one more demerit for you, humanoid! I could be wrong, but these forms of non-warmonger hate are not masked by DoFs, so beware.
When considering DoFs you must also take into account DoFs evil sister, the Denouncement. Denouncing a civ that has be denounced by other AI civs will gain you plus attitude with all the other denouncers. So its always good to have as a target of aggression an AI civ roundly denounced by several other AI civs. Make sure you denounce them before you DoW, that will at least cancel out the negative warmonger hate earned with those same civs. Better yet, plan this in advance: Denounce the universally denounced civ, then WAIT - do go rushing over to your fellow denouncers like an anxious little wuss going, "Can we be friends? Can we? Can we?" - wait for their mugs to pop in you face the next turn or so saying how much they agree that that Saddam is really a bad guy. Then wait another turn and then contact them for a DoF. I can't guarantee this 100%, but it seems waiting for them to pop up first increases your chance of getting a DoF, depending of course on the existence of other positives such as palm grease, trades, past wars fought together, etc. In fact you can use this mechanism to dogpile denounce the Saddam civ, then (as they often do) when one of your fellow denouncers pops up to ask that you join in a war against the Saddam civ, you can just enter into a phony war 10 turns later and get extra credit for fighting a war together - along with any DoF you have with them and the joint denouncement.
But keep in mind this is all to delay the inevitable: They are all going to hate you in the end for trying to win the game. It's like playing chess with your 5 year old son.
Overall, the generic high yield strategy for those who don't mind playing into the Modern Era is: beeline Stealth Bombers. Yes, yes, what about EARLY conquest, but the advantage here is that it works with ANY civ while early conquest favors adopting only certain civs, though as you'll see, America, Korea and Babylon have obvious advantages. Gosh, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jung Il (or whoever his successor is) and GW Bush all flying early stealth bombers...anyway do this:
- turtle with 4 or so cities and an adequate defensive force;
- first complete Liberty, then Honor (there are other SP approaches, but Honor 1) assists in the turtle defense and later 2) it is one of the few rewards in the game to watch all that coin float skyward as your Stealth-led strike force slogs through the AI 1UPT Blobs of Doom (otherwise a dreary task without full Honor), making this a must for Diety, etc. as more enemy units == more coin!; then Rationalism (if you tunnel beeline into Renaissance early enough you may want to complete Rationalism before finishing Honor, but complete Honor!; then the piece de Resistance, Autocracy, hopefully time for the appearance of your Stealth Horde.
- Science, science, science: you want to collect a mess of unused GSs for the massive bulb orgy at the end
- spend all your money on RA's and rush science buildings
- Second priority is boosting pop, so happyness is important - another advantage of Honor which give 2 ways to generate flat happyness (plus Liberty helps)
The only real AI counter are nukes, but you'll outrange them with steath, so scout ant prioritize for destruction.
That's the rough cut in a nutshell.