AFSNES II - Quintessence of Dust

Culture Name: Jiang (culture name), Jiangzhou (landmass name)

Mythology: Taochóngbài is the core belief system of the Jiang. It is all present throughout Jiangzhou and is one of the most important aspects of the culture. While there are many different interpretations, honoring different values or spirits, one would be hard-pressed to find someone that did not believe in the spirits.

The first and foremost of the Jiang is the legend of the Tao-Dan. There is the myth and legend of which we know much of, and the actual recorded truth, of which there is almost none. In the legend of the Jiang, they onced lived in a land of mountains, in complete harmony with the spirits in the mythical city of Shan-Ya. Unfortunately, the people did not honor the spirits, and soon, the world began splitting, as the world of the spirits and the world of humans were no longer in harmony. The spirits caused great disaster upon the world of men, causing the earth to split and for rain to fall no more. Seeing the land they once called home lost to the anger of the spirits, the Jiang left their home.

They wandered, all throughout the lands, seeking somewhere to call their home. And at last, they found one. Because they saw no spirits, the Jiang assumed that there were none here. Little did they know that the worlds were quickly diverging, and while they could no longer freely see them, the spirits were still there. The Jiang would burn the forests to plant fields of crops, pollute the river with ships, mine the land for gold and iron.

Zhǎtei, the spirit of life, could no longer take it. At last, it began swimming rapidly, causing flooding throughout the land. For years, the floods raged, and all the world was threatened with being drowned under water. However, legend says that one man was able to calm Zhǎtei, and the flooding ended. The Tao-Dan spent thirty years trying to calm the spirits and end harmful human activity, but too many spirits were riled and too few humans would listen. In an effort to bring peace to both spirits and humans, the Tao-Dan was forced to split the worlds between the spirits and humans, with himself as the bridge between them. As he died, he told his disciples that one day, he would return.

On the whole, the religion of the Jiang is Spirituality. The underlying beliefs shared by all are three core beliefs. They believe that there is a world of spirits and a world of humans, they believe that every creature has a spirit within them, and upon their death they will enter the spirit world, and finally, they believe that the Tao-Dan saved the Jiang from annihilation in the times before.

However, these beliefs are not all there is to the faith of the Jiang. Different schools of thought have arisen, each claiming to be the way of the original Tao-Dan. The truly devout have dedicated their lives to learn the teachings of the Tao-Dan, and have pledged themselves to one of the schools.

These schools are all connected; they are not different faiths. One would even hesitate to call them different sects. Instead, each of the schools have the same body of faith to draw from, but they have different ways of interpreting the works.The schools are fluid, and one can drift from one to another. But that is not to say there is no conflict between the schools. Great masters will debate one another professing one school of thought against another. And sometimes, the truly fanatical may take violent action against another school.

Some examples of spirits are as follows:



The final thing to keep in mind, is that while there are many schools, the most populous of the schools is lacking a school. The common folk, while professing the core tenets and beliefs of Spirituality, have short, and often times brutal, lives. They do not have the time to devote to the study of spirits, and while a few masters (but more likely, acolytes) will give public teachings to the peasantry, the schools are far more interested in persuading the rulers of the cities, in an effort to solicit donations to build grand schools and temples. The commoners absorb various parts of different schools they hear of, their worldview, and even their own experiences with the spiritual world. Even the rulers are not particularly devout to one school or another, instead preferring to devote their education to the arts of war or trade. What is far more common is devotion to one particular spirit, such as Zhǎtei or Tàishǐ.

Society: Generally, there is no idea of an established class system, though there is more prestige in having more money, power or education, and in the cities, wealth directly translates into political voice. While generally there is the idea that a son will follow in his father’s footsteps, there is no set rule against becoming a merchant, a soldier, or a monk, or even a leader. The children of powerful merchants will inherit the wealth of their parents and will continue on in the family business, but there is no shame in making your own money. In fact, being a self-made men is actually seen as a great accomplishment, and fathers are concerned more with their daughters being with someone that can be a good partner and take care of them, instead of someone who would be wasteful but being from a “good” family.

Governments: There are three styles of governing typically found in Jiangzhou.

Jinzé: The Jinzé is one of the ways Jiang cities were ruled. In the Jinzé, there is no one ruler. Instead, a council of citizens is called to help decide the direction of the city. But only a select few are allowed on the council; those who have paid the Jingé, or “gold price”. The Jinzé of the Jiang cities were focused mostly on the river, the trading cities where the merchants were the lifeblood of the town. For some of the smaller towns, the Jingé was small enough that a good majority of the merchants that called it home could afford to take part in the council, while in the great cities of Jigōn, Yinú and Bǎoyuè, only the most elite of merchant cliques could afford to take part in the decision making of the city. The Jinzé, while not entirely inclusive in terms of governing, were actually fairly benevolent. The Jingé the cliques would pay would go towards helping the public: paying for walls and soldiers, for food if the city suppliers were low, and more. By the time of around 1650 BC, the cliques had begun politicking for the support of the lower classes, and used their Jingé to help pay for more “vanity” projects such as Spiritualist schools, statues, and more ornate temples.

One side effect of the Jinzé was the potential for influence of nearby cities. While no clique had enough power to rule the three great cities, a forward thinking clique could decide to extend their influence into nearby towns, paying their Jingé and trying to establish a foothold there. This caused some of the Jinzé to react, albeit in different manners. Some declared that any new member or clique that wished to partake in the council had to have had residency in the city for a certain length of time. Others decided to bar new members from joining their council at all. But some decided to collect the added Jingé and were open to working with the larger cliques and cities in an effort to build up their own city. After all the great cities became great with walls of stone and walls of ships, and they did cost gold…

Xuzé: The Xuzé is similar enough to the Jinzé in that there generally is no one single ruler, and instead a council votes on the issues of the city. However, instead of paying a gold price, the council members must have paid the Xugé, or “blood price”. The men who fought for the town would rule the town. The Xuzé were generally rural communities, especially those on the fringes of Jiang settlement and would have to fight nomadic tribes from time to time.

The Xuzé, due to the lack of high treasury income from their council members, did not have the resources of the Jinzé. From time to time, they would rent their soldiers to other cities, or would raid and fight for wealth, but were generally far less wealthy than their riverland counterparts. One advantage of the Xuzé though was their ability to rally around one leader. While the Jinzé was dominated by the interests of the various cliques, when it came to emergencies, the Xuzé would rally to their best commander, and they would steer their people through it. As a side note, in the Xuzé, women were generally unpowered due to the citizenship requirements, but they could gain power in the Jinzé.

Cliques: A Clique is generally not a specific style of government. Instead, it is a conglomeration of different interests, and power sharing between some who have gold and others who have men. Generally more dictatorial without populace approval being needed, the Cliques have generally fallen to the wayside to Xuzé, though Cliques of powerful merchants will control voting in the Jinze.

Rénwùzé: Unlike all other governments, the Rénwùzé is based upon the rule of one. Typically someone with both gold and men, they are set up as a Rénwù where they rule as a despot. Typically, the regimes are incredibly unstable and are only surviving for as long as the gold to pay the men comes in. When the Rénwù dies, there is usually a major civil war between the top officers of the former Rénwù to establish their new control. Rénwùzé are generally found along the Shēnlaú, and are paid for by the Jinze to help ensure constant food flow into the cities. However, this causes huge resentment among the populace, as the Rénwù will not allow them to leave (after all, in the Rénwùzé, more people means more food, which means more gold), and many see it as an affront to the spirits to hold the people like this.

Farmers: In the rural areas, away from the rivers, society is much simpler. With the widespread adoption of the Xuze style, there is no distinction between the rulers and the ruled. Any man who can stand will fight for his home, and therefore gain the right to govern it by participating in the councils. Farmers generally own the land they farm, and have no tax obligations, allowing them to do with it as they please. Families in the rural communities are much more tight knit, as a farmer’s land is generally the only source of income they have. Brothers and sisters will live together on the land, as there are few nearby cities they might make their fortune in. As population increases, it has become a problem where the same amount of land must support the same number of people. But with careful family planning, the farmers will be able to continue to ensure their progeny's wealth and security.

In the riverlands, the situation for farmers is much more dire. The powerful cities have little interest in anything but ensuring they have enough food for their soldiers, sailors, feasts, and some left over to keep the citizenry from rioting. The Jinze have turned to establishing strongmen in their neighboring city states to ensure the food continues to come in. The strongmen will ensure work is done and the food is delivered. It is not slavery; they will pay the farmers. The sum is enough that they will not starve, but it is too paltry to think of moving off the farmlands. The farmers are discontent with the state of affairs, but first the strongmen need to be dealt with.

In the clique states, the situation is a little more complex. Generally it is best described as a mixture of the Xuze and Jinze. The farmers will for the most part continue to own their land, but the clique will require that 10-15% of the farmland’s bounty will be sent to the clique as a payment for protection.

Merchants: In the cities, the merchants are divided into two classes. The great merchants that rule the Jinze, paying the Jinge and constructing palaces, hosting feasts, and enjoying all the luxuries the world has to offer. They found a niche, and exploited it. On the reverse, you have the cart merchants, that have gambled their worldly possessions in hopes that they too may make their fortune. All that they own is what is on their cart and maybe some hovel in or more likely outside the city. Aside from jealousy, and a hope that one day they can replace them, there is little animosity between the cart merchants and the great merchants. If a cart merchant is successful, they can rise to the middle ranks, perhaps owning a store or inn, and then if they continue to rise, can climb to the halls of the great merchants. There is actually a legitimate chance for the merchants to be successful. The politics of power and wealth is constantly changing in the cities, with old players falling and new players rising, giving popularity to the phrase “Prosperity lasts three generations”.

On the periphery of the city merchants are the merchants that wander the rural areas, going from village to village peddling their wares. Sometimes an agent of a merchant from the riverlands, other times a second son of a farmer who does not wish to see the family lands pushed to their limits, these men can carve out a comfortable life. The merchants are generally looked down upon by the farmers as disconnected from the region, and will not be able to attain the power and status of the great merchants of the cities. However, there is much less competition in the rural areas, and a sharp merchant may be able to set up a successful inn on the roads or in the village. While he may not be able to rule the town openly, gold always finds a way to talk…

On Monks: Generally the journey to become a monk is a difficult one. Unless one has some gold stored away (unlikely for anyone except for a particularly spiritual merchant’s son), monks rely on the kindness of strangers and patrons. Their days are long and hard, helping the masters, helping their people, learning both the spiritual and physical arts of the Tao-Dan, and meditation and studying. One dedicates themselves to a spirit, and focuses on upholding the duties of that spirit. Those devoted to the death spirit may perform the burnings of dead bodies for example, while those devoted to the spirit of rain may perform rituals to ensure that enough will be given to grow crops. Women are not precluded from becoming monks. Some spirits, such as the spirit of new life, ask for only female monks, while other spirits preclude them. The truly devoted monks are able to become masters, and they may one day write about their thoughts and visions with the spirits, or lack thereof.

Monks are generally some of the only people you can count on knowing how to write. They have become invaluable in the emergence of contracts and documents, and some have strayed from the schools and spirits to become a paid member of a merchant’s staff.

In terms of government, monks have much more influence in the south, dating back to the resistance against Hao-Tsui’s rule. In the north, monks are not consulted in matters of state, unless it has something to do with the spirits.

Soldiers: Aside from some sellsword companies that help uphold the Rénwùzé and fight for the Jenze, most soldiers are citizen levies. Those in rural areas will have much more experience in fighting, as during the off-season and off-days they train to fight as soldiers.

Prostitutes, Concubines and Mǔgǒ: In the Jiang cities, there is no shame in the thought of relations between a man and woman before marriage. While in the rural areas it may hurt one’s chances of finding a partner, in the cities, prostitution is not seen as particularly dishonorable, and are broken up into three categories. (As a side note, homosexuality is generally seen as an affront to the spirits).

The highest is the concubine. Sometimes, a daughter the parents cannot afford will be sold to a trainer in pleasure women. These women will be taught to sing, dance, play music, and sometimes even act so that they might pleasure a rich merchant from out of town. These women, generally beautiful and talented, will enamor the merchants who will offer to purchase her from her trainers. A princely sum is given, and the woman will be taken by the merchant usually as a second wife. She is given an allowance during her marriage, and a pension for when the merchant is no longer interested in her, which the women will generally use to open up their own businesses, usually a brothel or to train new concubines to sell.

The ugly ones that are sold at birth generally work as maids and servants in brothels.

Bed Women: Bed Women are women that are trained less in courting and romance, and more in the carnal pleasures. They are taken young and are used until they are old, though at least with Bed Women they live in luxury and can make good money, which is much better than Street Women who are not attractive enough or trained to enter the brothels. They are generally owned by a rural inn, and can be rented out by travelers for the night.

A special note should be added for Mǔgǒ. Mǔgǒ are the male counterpart to concubines, and generally serve powerful female merchants. Generally used less for carnal pleasure (though still used for it), they tend to be well toned men that serve as things such as human statues or as particularly attractive servants. A woman with a Mǔgǒ is seen much more powerfully than a man with a concubine, for if a woman holds a Mǔgǒ it is a display that it is the woman who holds the power and money, not the man. Because of this, a Mǔgǒ has become an essential part of a female’s household, and will even be taken with her on business trips to help fully display her power.

On Slavery: Involuntary slavery of a Jiang is absolutely forbidden, by both the spirits and the opinions of man. A Jiang will not wear the collar of another in perpetual slavery, however there are three categories that are near enough to slavery: debt bondage, criminals, and war prisoners. In all of these situations, it is never ok to arbitrarily kill them, and are not treated as less than human. In addition, physical abuse can be punished if it goes too far.

Debt Bondage: The image of life in the cities for the rich merchant is incredibly glamorous. Men imagine themselves growing fat on the finest foods, drinking alcohol and surrounded by beautiful young women, and even taking some as concubines. Women imagine themselves in the most stylish silk robes, pulled in a carriage or even carried by her servants. Loans are taken to help finance the first commercial venture, and it is hoped that they will be rapidly successful and will soon be living the high life. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. The world is competitive, and sometimes, ventures fail. And when the debt is due, sometimes they have nothing but their bodies to offer for their debt.

In the Jinze especially, loan policing is taken quite seriously, and is fully enforceable by law. However, the terms are not ridiculously cruel. For women, or men with daughters or sisters they are responsible for, can (and have) paid off their debt by giving the lender the right to the woman. She can be taken as a wife, but more often becomes a concubine, and in exchange for a small pittance sum and the loan being forgiven, the bride price is considered paid. Depending on the man, the woman may actually realize her dream of being waited on hand and foot and eating fine foods, but more often than not, the man who now rules her destiny is a middling merchant, and she is forced to wait tables and serve food and drink at an inn, or worse, sitting mindlessly at a loom for day after day working her finger to the bone. For the truly desperate, a contract may be entered with a brothel, who will rent the girls out to soldier encampments.

For men, the situation can become much more difficult. If they have a skill, such as smithing, dog training, or masonry, then he can become a valued part of a merchant’s staff. But the far more likely situation is that the man has no skills (especially involving commerce). Instead, he is generally sent to perform the most dangerous and back breaking work in the mines or construction projects.

The thing to note is that first off, none of these steps can be taken unless it is established to a neutral third party (sometimes a monk) that there is absolutely no way that the debt can be paid. If there are clear signs that the debt is being worked on and will be paid within a reasonable time, then they are not allowed to haul off a woman to become a concubine or a man a miner.

The second is that, with the exception of those who become full brides, there is a time limit. One cannot hold a person in bondage indefinitely, with 40 seasons being the maximum time a person can be held. At this time, the man or woman will be freed from their debt and obligations to the lender. The only exception to this is women who are made into full brides of the lender (though if made a concubine, the 40 seasons release is still valid).

Criminals: As Jiang societies grew, traditional old laws such as cutting off a thief’s hand or killing a murderer was no longer seen as the best possible option. With the mines and quarries always needing larger populations, instead of execution the cities would often send their criminals west for a bit of gold. Criminals would labor in the mines or quarries for their sentence. Typically, the sentences are for 40 to 100 seasons, and then they are supposed to be released, though the reality is far less forgiving, with most dying well before their sentences end while others, even if they do live that long, are rebuffed by angry guards to get back to work.

Prisoners of War: Depending on the nature of the conflict, prisoners of war are considered acceptable to use for labor. If the conflict is between two Xuze, generally prisoners will be exchanged at the end of the war. But for other conflicts, there is a very real possibility of being put to work. First, soldiers are always offered a ransom, and in a sell sword company, there is generally someone you befriended that can pay your ransom (your captain certainly won’t), then you may very well end up laboring on a construction project away from the front lines. When the war is over, it is courteous to return the soldier (especially if it was a citizen leevy from another city).

On Gender: In the riverlands, especially where merchantry is common, women and men can have equal power. Women are not prohibited from owning businesses, owning enterprises from looms to pleasure houses. In fact, women are generally seen as the decision makers in merchant families, as the husband is often away on business and trade.

However, in the rural communities, especially in the Xuzé, women are much less powerful, and have no ability to seek power in the government. While they are still able to run things such as brothels, women’s economic liberties are considerably restrained. However, throughout Jiang lands, there is generally a common respect with the genders; divorce is unheard of, and spousal abuse is incredibly frowned upon.

This is not to say that women and men DO have equal power. Generally the men have more power than women do, with more money, influence, and power positions. Rape is generally male on female, as is violence. However, there is no stigma or anger for women in positions of power; it is just difficult for them to accomplish.

On Subcultures: The Shésǐ culture has intermingled, especially in the north, with much of the population having a mixed racial heritage (even honoring Shésǐ religious beliefs). However, the Shésǐ culture they retain has actually been intertwined with Jiang culture as a whole, and aside from some dialect differences, after a millenia of integration, the people have become fairly assimilated into the Jiang culture as a whole.


Material Culture: Generally, the Jiang male peasantry wear black, brown, or grey, with shoes made of cotton. Their dress is generally inornate, without pattern or things as simple as buttons. They generally wear longer shirts and trousers.

For maidens, especially those who are of wealthier means, tend to wear red. It is a symbol of passion and virility, and of their youth. After their marriage, many women prefer to adopt shades of green or even blue. However, women of means and power tend to wear yellow or (especially if they’re powerful in their own right), red sashes. Only the rich could afford silks.

Marriage between the Jiang is a very intimate affair. The bride and groom each receive matching tattoos; the male above his right pectoral, and the woman above her left breast. The tattoo can be of a beast or spirit, or a word that has significance to the couple. The two are joined in union, together in white robes covering their body sans their new tattoo, in front of a small, intimate gathering, either by a monk, or a close friend of the couple; a soldier who fought with the husband in a war or a business partner, or even the father of the bride. It is generally accepted that the groom demonstrate the ability to provide for the bride in the form of a dowry. Depending on the wealth of the groom, the presents can be quite ornate.

Architecturally, Jiang buildings in the city and the more impressive rural ones are made with wood, while the houses on farmland are made of mudbrick. Walls are made of stone.

In regards to symbols of authority, the Jiang have never had a crown. For merchants, displaying gold, jewelry, silks and concubines shows that the person is wealthy and powerful. In a Xuze, a soldier shows his prowess from the quality of his equipment (often captured on the field of battle). For the monks, anything related to the Tao-Dan is incredibly valuable; when the Miàokongì burned, priceless artifacts and writings were lost (though some say they are still out there, hidden away).

The writing system is generally known only to monks and a few select merchants, and used in business contracts and religious writings.

Abbreviated History: The Early Jiang people migrated to the Shēnlaú from Shan-Ya. Supposedly, they were driven off by the spirits for failing to live in harmony with them, causing natural disasters and starvation. Whatever the case, the Jiang arrived in around 2900 BCE, and began intermingling with the already existing local population, which had already been farming since before 4000 BCE.

Sometime in 2800 BCE, the Shēnlaú began flooding intensely, causing death and crop failures. It was during this time that the first Tao-Dan emerged. Declaring that the people were not in harmony with the spirits, he began a campaign to ease the spiritual tension for the Jiang people, and is said to have calmed The Fish spirit causing the end of the Shēnlaú floodings. While this, and other deeds attributed to him are likely false (though records to indicate that the flooding did stop around this time), from around 2760 BCE to 2730 BCE, the Tao-Dan helped guide the people of the Jiang from Jigōn. While it would be a mistake to call it anything sort of a unified state, a peace was achieved that reduced tribal infighting and allowed for villages to develop into cities, and trade began flowing on the river.

After the death of the Tao-Dan, infighting emerged, and it began the Clique Era, from 2700 BCE to around 2400 BCE. Territories were ruled together by various strongmen that would help one another consolidate their territory and enrich themselves. However, in the cities of the river, it was not the strongmen that took power, but rather the merchants. Using trade as a motivation for times of peace, gold, cloth, spices and dyes were traded up and down the river. In particular, the Three Great Cities Era emerged, from 2400 BCE to 2000 BCE, each of them known for a particular trade good they provided.

It was an era of power, with the three cities conquering not only one another, but other territories of the Jiang, establishing some of the first “empires” of the Jiang. In particular, the empire established in 2230 BCE by An-Shin, the “Ruby of the Moon”, was particularly noted as it was the largest of all empires of the Jiang. Taking power using her personal wealth, a marriage to a powerful general, and using her own beauty and charm, she took over her own city of Bǎoyuè, and was able to finance larger armies than any of her other enemies. Deciding she wanted to leave her etch on history, she sacrificed everything for her empire, and, her rule beset with rebellions, which collapsed immediately after her death in 2202 BCE, her empire collapsed, with the familial wealth evaporated from bribes and wars.

Around 2000 BCE, nomadic raiders from the steppes of Shésǐ appeared. Led by their general, who the Jiang would call Hao Tsui , the barbarians invaded and conquered the entirety of the Shēnlaú, bending the Jiang into submission. While the Jiang outnumbered the barbarians, the barbarians made use of chariots (something unheard of in Jiang warfare at the time), and were able to make effective use of archers on the offensive. Taking the banner of the Snake, Hao Tsui and the barbarians seemed to worship a many-headed snake deity, and saw the spirits of the Jiang as abominations. He burned the Miàokongì, and rededicated some temples to his snake god. However, his larger focus was creating the Hao-Yàn, the state that would rule the entirety of the Shēnlaú, , as well as tributary Jiang cliques that would pay to him taxes in the form of food and gold. From 2000 to around 1970 BCE (It is said that in spiritualist writings that he brought a “generation” of darkness to the Jiang), Hao-Tsui ruled from Jigōn, constantly suffering from attacks by the Jiang remnants.

In the unconquered south, claiming they heard the cries of the spirits, three monks, Guài, Zhī, and Kùnmet together. Although they had opposing schools and viewpoints against one another, all three agreed that Hao-Tsui’s rule over the Jiang was a crime against the spirits and that it must be stopped. Declaring themselves Táng-Fei, the three monks waited, gathering an army as Hao began shutting his troops inside the cities. When it was rumored that Hao had tried to have a son, but his concubine gave birth to a stillborn, the three took it as a sign of the spirits that Hao’s power was fading and now was the time to strike. Cities rose up against Hao and the Jiang troops he had recruited deserted him. Hao was forced to keep what few troops he had loyal to him in Jigōn, and eventually the monks confronted him in battle, and in personal combat, he was killed. While many of the more “mythical” stories are likely false (Hao was probably not a magician, nor did he wear the skin of virgin women he slew), the legend that his body was left to rot and was carried away by crows did in fact happen.

At this point, the Jiang entered a stagnation. The Táng-Fei did not unify due to the differences within their ranks, and each formed their own way, three different schools emerging. The cities were hit by war and starvation, and the monks believed that there was great calamity between the world of spirits and the living. Many of them feared that the learning of man could dissolve and that a new era of tribal warfare would resume.

Instead, local citizens and merchants, empowered by their throwing off of Hao-Tsui, began taking a more proactive approach in their governing with the wide scale adoption of both Jinzé and Xuzé by the Jiang. As farms began planting once more, cities again grew, and trade resumed once more up and down the river. While the Great Cities no longer have unchallenged wealth and power, with new powers highly competitive throughout the land, the Jiang have rebuilt, and are wealthy and powerful once more. However, the status quo has gone on for quite some time. It may change in the blink of an eye.

Geographic Errata: Shēnlaú and Tiānlaú are the rivers. Chànhuǐ is the sea.

The three great cities are Jigōn, the oldest and most populous that specializes in agriculture, pottery, and woodworking, Yinú, which has access to quarries, mines, and skilled masons, and Bǎoyuè, which specializes in silks, dyes, and pearls.

In the south, Tiānguó reigns, held together through military protection, good harvests, and trade. It started out as a Xuze, though as it has become more advanced, there are calls for it to change.

Areas outside of Jiang lands are called Wàizhou.

Overall, I would say that this is good, and I will accept your submission into the NES. A few things I want to see are some more theological and mythological terms. An in-universe name for spirits is important, and a name for your spirit hall would be useful as well. I think you overuse the syllable 'gwon' (you used it at least thrice) but that's not a big deal. Read it over and polish it a bit more in addition to making the changes I specify. Thanks!

Culture Name: Gwonsaum (CZ1) - Thomas.berubeg (Part 1, group submission: See NK's post for map)

Mythology:
The world the Gwonsaum inhabit is a living one. The world and the spirit world have existed forever in their current state. The material world is mundane and solid and what humans inhabit. The Spirit world is very different, though it is a reflection of the material one. Physical things, events, strong emotions, and metaphysical concepts spawn spirits, who inhabit the spirit world. Most of these spirits the boundaries of reality unassisted, unless they have help from a shaman. Great and powerful spirits can cross over without a problem, though very rarely do so. Instead, their effects tend to be felt even when they remain in the spirit world. Additionally, Shamans (Sekemns) can throw themselves over into the spirit world, at least mentally. Sekemns exist to build alliances and relationships with spirits, ensuring their people are safe.

The Gwonsaum believe themselves to be patronized as a people by a Great Spirit known as Migwon is a great hound, born of the friendship between Gwonsaum and Dog. Syntax alert. As such, the dog plays an important part in the symbolism of the Gwonsaum, representing both Strength and Trust. Additionally, Theran and Jenashak, the spirits of the great rivers, Shul, the spirit of the sun, and Aymo, one of the greater embodiments of love, are are believed to be spirits friendly to humanity. Probably a good idea to cross-reference your other important spirits mentioned in the History section. What do these spirits look like or how are they depicted? Migwon's a big dog, I get it, but describe the others.

The Gwonsaum believe that humans and dogs are the only creatures with souls. In death, their souls (and those of dogs) make a perilous journey through the spirit world, travelling northwards, until finally arriving and joining with the “Mawr Ansa,” the Sea of Souls, an ocean comprised of the souls of the unborn, where they are washed of their sins and memories, and sent back into life as a newborn child or puppy. The Soul, when it enters the Mawr Ansa, is burdened by the weight of the sins committed in life, which drags souls of sinners deeper into the depths of sea, thus taking it longer to return to the surface to be reborn. All agree, however, that for a soul to make the journey from death to the Mawr Ansa alone is to court complete destruction. As such, Sekemns are meant to petition friendly minor spirits to protect and accompany the souls of the recent dead in the village or city, and some even sacrifice a loyal dog upon the death of its owner, so that their souls may safely travel together and be reborn together. Dead bodies are buried, usually with a sacrificed (or recently dead) Pirgwon, and a pitcher of water is poured over the grave to remind the soul of the dead where it needs to go.

As for the faith of others, the Gwonsaum simply believe that their “gods” are simply great spirits who have demanded a specific kind of worship from humans. Gwonsaum do not approve of this, as the stories have always said that spirits of that kind are generally not friendly to humans, but know better than to try to actively offend them. A Gwonsaum travelling to lands ruled by gods will generally carry with them a metal spiral, a token of a friendly spirit, for protection.

Gwonsaum believe that the spiral is a difficult shape for spirits to understand, and only those invited in are easily able to travel a spiral unhindered.

No problems here. Except the grammar. Eugh.

Society:
All Gwonsaum are led by a balance of secular and spiritual power. Whether greater power in a Gwonsaum City or tribe resides in a King (Known as Krek) or a Megshekem depends entirely on the group, and likely shifts depending on the charisma and strength of the individual.

The Spiritual guardians of the Gwonsaum are the Shekem, who are drawn up from the ranks of the people of the city based on prophetic dreams they or an already ordained Shekem may have at any age between five and fifteen. Traditionally, shekem were trained in an apprenticeship system with an older shekem teaching a younger shekem everything they know (writing, lore, history, medicine, etc), and, theoretically, passing along the relationships that he has with local spirits. This still tends to happen in smaller Gwonsaum villages. However, the advent of larger cities, and especially of writing, has shifted the focus of shekem training from a one-on-one practice to a more academic institutionalized one, though students are still selected through the traditional methods. In cities, Shekem also serve as historians, bureaucrats, and record keepers. Often, in these cases, though Shekem may have Alliances with individual spirits, the city as a whole also has it’s own network of relationships, especially with the spirit of the city.

The Krek is a hereditary position, and is meant to lead the people in all manners secular. Some evidence suggests that this position was originally a “chief-diplomat,” in charge of interacting with other groups of people. However, be that as it may be, the Krek now is ostensibly the one in charge of the military, trade, and development. Beneath the Krek, and there to assist them, are the noble families.

Also powerful, though not nearly as much as the Nobility are the Brewers, who hold a special place in society, as they produce beer and wines (Fruit and honey.) These products are seen by the Gwonsaum as key to nearly all formal social interactions. Subservient to them are craftsmen, farmers, and artisans, who generally live on the outskirts of cities and come in to sell their products.

Gender roles within Gwonsaum society are segregated at the lowest levels, and completly open at within the higher ranks. A Krek can be a woman, and as Shekems are discovered through spiritual means, there are as many men as women.

This is good. I like the internal tension set up between Kreks and Shekems, and I like how either can be subservient to the other. Megshekem is a cool title. I anticipate some successful leaders will try to merge the two positions.

Material Culture:
At the heart of any great Gwonsaum city or meanest village is the Spirit Hall, the place used by a Shekem to commune with spirits. This building is circular with paths in a reversing spiral towards a central chamber, which holds at it’s heart a slightly recessed ritual pit, where a Shekem will attempt to intercede with spirits. Lining the hallways to the ritual chamber are images of the spirits that the Shekems know to inhabit the corresponding area in the spirit world, with images of the greatest spirits (Usually some combination of Migwon, Jenashak, Theran, Shul, Aymo, and the spirit of the city)

The Spirit hall itself is a dome with a hole in the roof at the top of the dome, above the ritual pit.
While small villages will have nothing more for the shekem than the Spirit Hall, great cities will boast immense walled complexes housing sleeping quarters, classrooms, kitchens, libraries, kennels, etc, around truly massive spirit halls, which always must be in their own open courtyard at heart of the complex.

The Gwonsaum Temple complexes are also inhabited by a breed of dog called Pirgwon. These dogs have been bred by Shekems for generations for small size, friendliness, loyalty, and intelligence, and are allowed to roam freely throughout the temple complex, and sometimes even the city. Pirgwon are easily recognizable by their small size, flattened face, curled tail, and short red and black mottled fur. Pirgwon, when they age, are sacrificed and buried with the dead, so that both the soul of the Pirgwon and that of the human may travel together to the Mawr Ansa.

As with the Shanalash of the south, the spiral is not important only in ritual architecture, but also in secular architecture. The homes of the richest individuals tend to be large complexes of interconnecting spiral hallways, with rooms juxtaposed in unexpected manners. The complexity of these homes decreases with lower economic status, until the poor must make do with a simple circular home, a paltry protection against hostile spirits: And indeed, the poorer people are often sicklier than the rich.

Gwonsaum bath regularly, believing that doing so brings them closer to their original state near the Mawr Ansa. Every affluent house has a bathing room, but poorer Gwonsaum must make do with bathing less often, and usually in the rivers.

The current calendar of the Gwonsaum was directly learned from the Shalanash, as it is much more efficient for agriculture and trade, while the older lunar calendar is now only used for ritual purposes by Shekems. The Gwonsaum know that the seasons are caused by the regular migrations of two spirits so great their impact on the physical world lasts months: Gyerm the Witherer and Hawan of the Sighs, who legend says are lovers constantly looking for each other, but always missing each other and cursed for some ancient transgression to do so for all eternity.

Gwonsaum historically were not hugely keen on wearable jewelry, though obviously with outside influence, modern Gwonsaum do. Traditionally, Gwonsaum adorned themselves with tattoos in intricate interwoven spiral and dot patterns in colorful ink.

As mentioned above, native name for the spirit hall and spirits. A bit more on what soldiers and shekems use and wear could be helpful.

Abbreviated History:
Human and dog were born on the shores of the Mawr Ansa ages ago, both creatures of the material world and endowed with the inner light of the spirit world. In those days, death was not an obstacle, as the souls of the death had only to travel from the shores of the lake into the water itself, and back out. Deva, a spirit of death, watched over the people, warding hostile spirits away.

But, in the darkness of night, the foul spirit Sova the Brackish, who had long been jealous of mankind, attacked, and with him came a great wave of dark water which poured into the Mawr Ansa, forever tainting the souls of the dead. Nemor, a spirit of memory, sacrificed himself for a human friend, melting into the Sea, causing the Mawr Ansa to make the dead not notice their impurities and giving individuals a choice between good and evil. Sova and Deva engaged in a combat that still occasionally shakes the earth to this day. Humanity was forced to leave the spirit world by the rising water, travelling in a myriad of direction, and becoming all the people of the earth.

The Gwonsaum travelled south, guided out of the spirit world by Migwon. For forty years and forty days, the Gwonsaum roamed, until the Shekem Elel spoke to the Spirits Theran and Jenashak, who both gave the Gwonsaum leave to settle on the shores of their river and taught them irrigation and farming.

And so, over the next thousand years, the Gwonsaum built a number of walled cities, the greatest being the twin cities of Ther and Jen, on their respective rivers. A series of petty kingdoms and Shekem-doms rose and fell, and never were the Gwonsaum truly united.

The spirits gave the Gwonsaum wheat, barley, grapes, olives, pistachios, pomegranates, and a myriad of other foods and spices. Cedars, imported as seedlings from the Chufriel, have also taken root on the shores of the river.

Trade with the Shanalash was brisk, and even the Chufriel had much to exchange with the Gwonsaum. The Gwonsaum alphabet, for example is wholly copied from their southern neighbors, as is the agricultural calendar.

History speaks of a great war fought for two hundred years between the League of Jan and the Theran Empire that left ten thousand dead (c. 1900 BC) but it is more likely that this was a series of wars fought between different shifting alliances of city states over a long period of time. Rather than using generic words like League and Empire, this would be more interesting if you described who was in charge of Ther and Jan, a krek or a shekem. Elaborate on this a bit more; this is one of your society's first interesting conflicts.

Recorded history for the Gwonsaum presumably begins with the importation of writing from the Shanalash, (around, let's say, 1800 BC), and everything before that fades into oral myth. It is known that, at some point, portions of Gwonsaum fringe society -- hill tribes (Gwonsaum only in language and system of beliefs,) were invited in as mercenaries and enforcers by the Shanalash, though exact dating on this period is muddled as is it difficult to differentiate between cultural contamination through trade or through an invasion (As that is what it became.)

The Gwonsaum formed a confederation of free cities known as the Union of Mergios (c. 1592-1500 BCE) in reaction to the aggression of the Shanalashi Ieresah Empire. Despite the existence of confederation, however, a significant portion of the southern areas of the Gwonsaum were subsumed by the empire, including the cities of Ther and Jen. However the Iresah tyrant Urshaihafah was overthrown by an alliance of Shanalash, Chufriel, and Gwonsaum, all under the leadership of Queen-Shekem Ashara, whose daughters, legend say, were raped by the tyrant.

I don't know if this is just me, but Mergios feels kind of like a weird derivation from all your other names. -ios is pretty Greek if you ask me. I'd change it a bit.

Geographic Errata:
The four great Cities: Ther, Jen, Tusendakru, Penkdem
Smaller cities: Mergios, Nervir, Megther, Huius
Northern Mountains: Rawsno
Mediterranean: Megmawr
The Great Rivers: Theran and Jenashak

Group Template:
The Gwonsaum share many traits with the Shanalash, not least being a common linguistic and religious root. Cultural transmission has been brisk between the two, and it is unknown whether many of the common features (Such as the prevalence of the spiral in symbology and in architecture) are due to transmission or to a common ancestral culture. A number of Semetic names have been adopted from neighbors such as the Chufriel.

This is a tad skimpy, but you can improve upon it after wrymouth adds his submission.

Abbreviated History: The Early Jiang people migrated to the Shēnlaú from Shan-Ya. Supposedly, they were driven off by the spirits for failing to live in harmony with them, causing natural disasters and starvation. Whatever the case, the Jiang arrived in around 2900 BCE, and began intermingling with the already existing local population, which had already been farming since before 4000 BCE.

Sometime in 2800 BCE, the Shēnlaú began flooding intensely, causing death and crop failures. It was during this time that the first Tao-Dan emerged. Declaring that the people were not in harmony with the spirits, he began a campaign to ease the spiritual tension for the Jiang people, and is said to have calmed The Fish spirit causing the end of the Shēnlaú floodings. While this, and other deeds attributed to him are likely false (though records to indicate that the flooding did stop around this time), from around 2760 BCE to 2730 BCE, the Tao-Dan helped guide the people of the Jiang from Jigōn. While it would be a mistake to call it anything sort of a unified state, a peace was achieved that reduced tribal infighting and allowed for villages to develop into cities, and trade began flowing on the river. So even though it's obviously not practiced anymore, shouldn't your people have a conception of a benevolent theocratic government? Name that and add it to your government types; even though it's technically defunct I can see this becoming relevant later on.

After the death of the Tao-Dan, infighting emerged, and it began the Clique Era, from 2700 BCE to around 2400 BCE. Territories were ruled together by various strongmen that would help one another consolidate their territory and enrich themselves. However, in the cities of the river, it was not the strongmen that took power, but rather the merchants. Using trade as a motivation for times of peace, gold, cloth, spices and dyes were traded up and down the river. In particular, the Three Great Cities Era emerged, from 2400 BCE to 2000 BCE, each of them known for a particular trade good they provided.

It was an era of power, with the three cities conquering not only one another, but other territories of the Jiang, establishing some of the first “empires” of the Jiang. In particular, the empire established in 2230 BCE by An-Shin, the “Ruby of the Moon”, was particularly noted as it was the largest of all empires of the Jiang. Taking power using her personal wealth, a marriage to a powerful general, and using her own beauty and charm, she took over her own city of Bǎoyuè, and was able to finance larger armies than any of her other enemies. Deciding she wanted to leave her etching on history, she sacrificed everything for her empire, and, her rule beset with rebellions, which collapsed immediately after her death in 2202 BCE, her empire collapsed, with the familial wealth evaporated from bribes and wars.

Around 2000 BCE, nomadic raiders from the steppes of Shésǐ appeared. Led by their general, who the Jiang would call Hao Tsui, the barbarians invaded and conquered the entirety of the Shēnlaú, bending the Jiang into submission. While the Jiang outnumbered the barbarians, the barbarians made use of chariots (something unheard of in Jiang warfare at the time), and were able to make effective use of archers on the offensive. Taking the banner of the Snake, Hao Tsui and the barbarians seemed to worship a many-headed snake deity, and saw the spirits of the Jiang as abominations. He burned the Miàokongì, and rededicated some temples to his snake god. However, his larger focus was creating the Hao-Yàn, the state that would rule the entirety of the Shēnlaú, as well as tributary Jiang cliques that would pay to him taxes in the form of food and gold. From 2000 to around 1970 BCE (It is said that in spiritualist writings that he brought a “generation” of darkness to the Jiang), Hao-Tsui ruled from Jigōn, constantly suffering from attacks by the Jiang remnants. You don't exactly say what the Miàokongì is in this section. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

In the unconquered south, claiming they heard the cries of the spirits, three monks, Guài, Zhī, and Kùnmet together. Although they had opposing schools and viewpoints against one another, all three agreed that Hao-Tsui’s rule over the Jiang was a crime against the spirits and that it must be stopped. Declaring themselves Táng-Fei, the three monks waited, gathering an army as Hao began shutting his troops inside the cities. When it was rumored that Hao had tried to have a son, but his concubine gave birth to a stillborn, the three took it as a sign of the spirits that Hao’s power was fading and now was the time to strike. Cities rose up against Hao and the Jiang troops he had recruited deserted him. Hao was forced to keep what few troops he had loyal to him in Jigōn, and eventually the monks confronted him in battle, and in personal combat, he was killed. While many of the more “mythical” stories are likely false (Hao was probably not a magician, nor did he wear the skin of virgin women he slew), the legend that his body was left to rot and was carried away by crows did in fact happen.

At this point, the Jiang entered a stagnation. The Táng-Fei did not unify due to the differences within their ranks, and each formed their own way, three different schools emerging. The cities were hit by war and starvation, and the monks believed that there was great calamity between the world of spirits and the living. Many of them feared that the learning of man could dissolve and that a new era of tribal warfare would resume.

Instead, local citizens and merchants, empowered by their throwing off of Hao-Tsui, began taking a more proactive approach in their governing with the wide scale adoption of both Jinzé and Xuzé by the Jiang. As farms began planting once more, cities again grew, and trade resumed once more up and down the river. While the Great Cities no longer have unchallenged wealth and power, with new powers highly competitive throughout the land, the Jiang have rebuilt, and are wealthy and powerful once more. However, the status quo has gone on for quite some time. It may change in the blink of an eye.

Geographic Errata: Shēnlaú and Tiānlaú are the rivers. Chànhuǐ is the sea.

The three great cities are Jigōn, the oldest and most populous that specializes in agriculture, pottery, and woodworking, Yinú, which has access to quarries, mines, and skilled masons, and Bǎoyuè, which specializes in silks, dyes, and pearls.

In the south, Tiānguó reigns, held together through military protection, good harvests, and trade. It started out as a Xuze, though as it has become more advanced, there are calls for it to change.

Areas outside of Jiang lands are called Wàizhou. This is fine. Could you re-link the labeled map and make sure it's updated with all geography and city locations?

Accepted, assuming you can make these minor changes. Thanks for taking the lead on the collaboration NK, you've done a really solid job and I look forward to learning a lot more about your people.

Note: Part of a group submission with thomas.berubeg (the Gwonsaum) and wrymouth3 (the Chufriel).

Culture Name: Shanalash (CZ1; OTL Central Mesopotamia) - North King


Mythology:

The spirits of the unseen world lingered heavily in the minds of the early Shanalash, and it oftentimes seemed like they would never escape them. Some were good, some evil, many neither but simply uncaring about human endeavors; all in all, it was a rather hostile world for the migrant people.

But they had entered a sacred land -- the Shanalash, the Land Between the Rivers -- and it was the land itself that lent them protection from the more malevolent of the spirits. Eventually, it was understood that their God had given them protection from evil, and by invoking their particular rituals, especially in places of great power, they could protect themselves from harm, and create works of great good.

Rituals and symbolism permeate religious culture of the Shanalash. Temples are sited carefully, and their shaman-priests entrusted with great spiritual power, which can be directed through specific rites and practices to produce a desired outcome. One of the core books of the religion centers around such ritual activity; several others center around such things as reincarnation, the birth and death of the world, and the nature of good and evil.

We already had the discussion about getting a few more important names in here. I hope you can at least name your chief god and some important demons so that I can have some interesting flavor for the update. How do your people feel about Migwon and the spirits of the Gwonsaum? Do you also venerate the spirits of the rivers as they do, or not?

Society:

The standard power structure in a Shanalash empire is forked into two major branches. The jaish (“they who slay&#8221 and the vaish (“they who speak&#8221 are typically drawn from the population as a whole, one of each from each city (there are significant discrepancies in the selection thereof, and how corrupt it is). Each of these are gathered into assemblies, who govern the country -- or more typically, a tyrant or emperor governs “at their consent”. The jaish have varied in role from simply a military minded legislature to an assembled roster of the military command talent in the country; the vaish typically concern themselves with more domestic affairs, though this is not always the case (see bottom of section).

The other legs of Shanalash society are obvious -- the priestly/shamanic class (chosen quasi-randomly from the population, usually through a series of dreams and rituals), who hold considerable spiritual authority, but tend to exert it either genuinely, or to curry favor with the other classes; the classic farmers, merchants, and artisans; warriors (though the elites of this group obviously overlap with the jaish); and other groups like fishermen or the educated elite (who are obviously a tiny group at this point in history).

The divide between the original peoples of the Shanalash and those originating in the Helash hinterland has practically eroded by this point. Some speculation by later scholars would indicate that the jaish and vaish originated as assemblies of the new Helash nobility and their old Shanalash wives, but this is unsubstantiated and will clearly remain so.

Gender roles -- at least, with regards to the ruling class -- in the Shanalash are neither standard nor reversed. The vaish are entirely elected from the women of the tribe, and while they wield no military power, they wield an enormous amount of political power -- both through tradition, and because they leveraged these traditional power bases into a multifaceted force of spies and secret police. Women can be neither shamans nor priests, of course, but as the religious authorities wield far less power than the vaish, this is not a major problem.

Very solid, interesting and I approve.

Material Culture:

The temples of the Shanalash are less places of supplication and more places of great ritual power. They have been constructed so as to maximize this power, binding the spiritual energies of a place and directing them in the powerful rituals of the priestly class. As such, religious architecture is generally concentric and heavily geometric, with emphasis on lines of sight and concentration. A central ritual chamber (often sunken) usually has numerous paths leading from it to the exterior.

Non-ritual architecture follows closely from these ideas as well, varying mostly in the number of branches that it might have from the center. A typical Shanalash palace, for example, will have a central throne room with an audience hall leading directly towards it, and then numerous other halls leading out from the throne room, in a sort of spider-web-like design. Poorer houses, obviously, must eschew much of this grandeur, and make do with single, circular rooms. The most common building material is mudbrick, though this is glazed (blue) in the case of richer houses, or replaced entirely with stone in the case of palatial complexes.

Most of the population, male and female, wear some sort of scarf (keffiyeh or headscarf) to keep the sun off their necks. Dress, otherwise, can vary from long flowing robes to trousers, often brightly colored and richly patterned.

Seasons are three-fold, hewing strongly to local rainfall patterns -- their names can be roughly translated as the “Smiling,” the “Sighing,” and the “Withering.” The first two fall on either side of the wet season, while the Withering is obviously during the heart of the dry season. Years in the old Shanalash tradition were counted starting from the first rain, but it became apparent to the most learned men that this presented a problem; the timing of the first rain being delayed did not necessarily throw off the timing of the last rain. Thus, a calendar attached directly to the solar year had to be invented. Nevertheless, the year begins with the Smiling; a celebration is held the day after the first rain, regardless of whether it actually falls in the new year or before. Another feast occurs between the Smiling and the Sighing, but this one has little special significance attached to it. A last holiday occurs just after the end of the wet season, a day when families traditionally accept unannounced guests and offer them food and drink despite the oncoming Withering. Traditionally, this is supposed to happen after the last rain, but for obvious reasons this could be a little difficult in practice.

Well aware that the year was 365 days and change, the Shanalash add an extra day every four years. Their full religious calendar includes numerous time periods significantly longer than a single year, including one that lasts over a billion and is of purely cosmological significance. The year zero of this calendar is the autumn of 3,656 BC.

Writing was developed primarily as a way to communicate proceedings of the vaish and jaish to the hinterland. It quickly developed an alphabetic character, with a clay-cut, heavy-wedge feel to it. As a shorthand, family names tended to be abbreviated with a single glyph (not using the letters already invented), and this has typically carried over to the present day, where most literate families (or families with literate members) will have glyphs they use, quite similar to coats of arms, to display in places as varied as tattoos on cattle or signatures on deeds.

Looks good. The glyphs are cool. By the end of the turn an alphabet is feasible, so no problems there either, assuming it was a gradual development. Since you're so heavily urbanized, I think there's a serious opportunity to do some cool city-design stuff, and I'd encourage you to add some sections on that. In particular, since you have so many notable ancient cities, I'd like to see a few specific details for the more famous ones.

Abbreviated History:

The name “Shanalash” translates approximately to “the Old Light”; of this land, it is commonly said that it was the oldest and proudest in the world. Certainly, the Shanalash harbors the oldest artifacts of civilization in the known world. But recent historical studies have suggested that quite probably, older peoples once inhabited the valley before being pushed out around 3,500 BC. It is here that the history of the Shanalash begins.

A thousand years before there was the written word, it is said that a tribe wandered into the land Between the Rivers. These ancients owed much to the bounty of the land that bore them: the Shanalash brought them a prosperity unknown to the peoples of the rest of the world. They were the first to grow crops, the first to possess writing, the true faith, and other such things. By 2500 BC, they already possessed most of the traits that would later come to define Shanalash culture, though many more would come from the other half of their society, in the mountains.

What exactly happened to these original Shanalash is a matter of some debate. The earliest records are already cloaked in myth, but what seems to have happened was a gradual decay in the ruling class, who grew more kleptocratic and cruel with every new dynast. Eventually, some in the nobility invited in a series of northern hill tribes, who had heretofore lived only on the margins of civilized society; an invasion swept most of them aside (see below). There have been some studies which have convincingly argued that a few of the nobility managed to escape the destruction of the city states, and became dynasts among the tribes in the Korusah, or in the small islands and peninsulas to the east of that desert.

I generally approve of the narrative, but even if the early records are cloaked in myth, I'd like to know more about the myth. (See below.)

But by far the majority were conquered by their northern invaders.

Of these people, we also know little aside from the legends surrounding their arrival. Certainly, they were freer and less sedentary than their neighbors, and certainly, they brought linguistic and cultural affectations with them. These all firmly place them as siblings of the Gwonsaum peoples, though it is likely that they diverged pre-invasion. Still, determining what derived from who is still a tricky proposition.

The rule of the southern despots continued up until the invasion. Legend has it that it all ended in a single, tremendous day -- a thousand thousand men pouring down from the mountains and driving out the foul kings. More likely, a series of protracted campaigns (likely from 2100-2000 BC) eventually drove the ruling class of the valley from their positions of power, sometimes at the behest of local aristocrats, and sometimes not. Shortly after this, the tribes seem to have come to an agreement with their new conquests (scattered archaeological evidence suggests this happened no later than 1900 BC) -- they would provide protection in return for tribute.

What eventually solidified, however, was something rather different. The power of the hill tribes diminished almost immediately as they settled, and though they had brought their religion with them, they made pacts implicit and explicit with the conquered peoples. This eventually evolved into a veritable republican form of government, with assemblies drawn from both populations until the two were practically indistinguishable. With consensus based rule reigning supreme over the river valley, one might have been forgiven for expecting the Shanalash to become bogged down in bureaucratic obstructionism.

Surprisingly, this never happened. Perhaps this stemmed from the fact that if any one city stagnated too much, another would rise to take supremacy. Perhaps, instead, it came from the propensity of the Shanalash to direct their energies rapidly outwards. The Shanalash became the power base for a series of empires that attempted to extend their reach beyond the valley. The first, under the city of Elash, rose somewhere in the range of 1800 BC, and lasted half a century before its collapse.

I think this is where we have our most significant historical issue. I think 1800 BC is a bit too late for the first concrete historical hegemony to be forming. So I get that there were two waves of migrations; the first around 3500 BC that pushed out the proto-Sumerians and formed the Shanalash proper and the second that brought in the Helash and their now-modern forms of religion and government. That's totally fine, but I just think that there's a serious dearth of detail about the original Shanalash before the Helashian invasion.

I don't think that Elash's rule should be the first one to enter historical record. Even if the old Shanalashian kings were corrupt and overthrown, they had full control of the river valley for more than a thousand years before the new order was established, and they also had the ability to write, build, and chronicle their achievements. There should be SOME concrete details about what happened at least between 2500 and 2000, even if they're colored by legendary and pseudo-religious belief.

But this had only incorporated the greater part of the Tharan and Janashak valleys. It had warred with the Gwonsaum, but despite some weightily worded decrees, did not extend beyond cities that would self-identify as Shanalash already. Far more impressive was the empire built out of Ieresah (c. 1600-1530 BC), which extended well into the Helash, and brought the southeastern quadrant of the Gwonsaum under their dominion, as well as parts of the Chufriel.

Founded by a jaish-turned-tyrant, Shuryah the Great, the first legitimate empire builder, the Ieresah armies launched a long series of campaigns that subjugated the rest of the Shanalash in only a few years, and then proceeded to conquer much of the southern Gwonsaum. His armies washed their boots in the Sea of Maishak, and launched several longer campaigns both north and southwest, and, according to a few possibly exaggerating tablets, even further foes. This all came crashing down under the disastrous rule of Shuryah’s great-grandson, the tyrant Urshaihafah, who managed to alienate the assemblies beneath him, who formed coalitions with neighboring Gwonsaum and Chufriel (this is their first mention in Shanalash written records) kings to defeat Urshaihafah and depose him, throwing the Shanalash into disunity and uncertainty once more.

Did Shuryah have any interesting domestic accomplishments besides conquering a bunch of stuff? Presumably Ieresah secured its dominion with some sort of impressive construction projects, or at least a new code of laws or administrative reforms.

Geographic Errata:

Cities (in approximate order of founding):
Efer
Hais
Olai
Elash
Ieresah
Rah
Darodah
Jaidarah
Keishah
Shuhai

Features:
The two rivers: River Tharan (East) and the Janashak (West)
The land between the rivers: the Shanalash
The northern mountains: The Helash
The southern desert: The Korusah
The far western sea: The Maishak

All your geography is good and your mapping is great, as expected.

Group Template:
Shares religious, architectural traits and linguistic origins with the Gwonsaum. Shares certain religious elements with the Chufriel, though really just enough to make both view the other as deeply disturbing. The Shanalash have interacted with both cultures repeatedly, typically as the larger pole in a series of power struggles between them.

Also a bit skimpy, but after wrymouth finishes up his application, perhaps we can add a bit more detail in here.