Rambuchan
The Funky President
Post your favourite Communist jokes here. A few to get things going...
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An American and a Russian General meet up at Disarmament talks and start boasting about their armies. The Russian general says: "My army is the best fed army in the world. Each day the Red Army soldier eats 1500 calories".
The American Army General says: "That's nothing, the US Army gets 4000 calories a day".
The Russian says: "Nonsense, nobody can eat that many Potatoes in a day".
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Three workers find themselves locked up, and they ask each other what theyre in for.
The first man says: I was always ten minutes late to work, so I was accused of sabotage. The second man says: I was always ten minutes early to work, so I was accused of espionage.
The third man says: I always got to work on time, so I was accused of having a Western watch.
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A rare visitor to Soviet Russia in the '50s wants to get the view of the man on the street. He accosts a number of strangers and asks them "What do you think of Stalin?". Each avoids his eye and scurries away until one man, saying nothing but with a barely perceptible nod, signals to the visitor to follow him. Understanding the need to keep his distance he follows the stranger up the road, onto a tram, another tram, a further walk and finally a third tram to a desolate industrial zone. He follows into an abandoned building where he finds his man in a concealed corner and joins him there. "Actually" he says "I quite like him".
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Q. "Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?"
A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."
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And of course, an old favourite:
Q. Why do Communists only drink herbal tea?
A. Because proper tea is theft.
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An American and a Russian General meet up at Disarmament talks and start boasting about their armies. The Russian general says: "My army is the best fed army in the world. Each day the Red Army soldier eats 1500 calories".
The American Army General says: "That's nothing, the US Army gets 4000 calories a day".
The Russian says: "Nonsense, nobody can eat that many Potatoes in a day".
---
Three workers find themselves locked up, and they ask each other what theyre in for.
The first man says: I was always ten minutes late to work, so I was accused of sabotage. The second man says: I was always ten minutes early to work, so I was accused of espionage.
The third man says: I always got to work on time, so I was accused of having a Western watch.
---
A rare visitor to Soviet Russia in the '50s wants to get the view of the man on the street. He accosts a number of strangers and asks them "What do you think of Stalin?". Each avoids his eye and scurries away until one man, saying nothing but with a barely perceptible nod, signals to the visitor to follow him. Understanding the need to keep his distance he follows the stranger up the road, onto a tram, another tram, a further walk and finally a third tram to a desolate industrial zone. He follows into an abandoned building where he finds his man in a concealed corner and joins him there. "Actually" he says "I quite like him".
---
Q. "Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?"
A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."
---
And of course, an old favourite:
Q. Why do Communists only drink herbal tea?
A. Because proper tea is theft.
