Random Rants VI: See, this is why we can't have nice things!

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I am SO screwed in RTR.

Here's the deal.

I am the Germanic Tribes. The game is Hard AI and Hard Battles, Long Imperial Campaign. It is the summer of 190 BC.

This game has already proven itself to be THE FUNNEST RTR game I have ever played. The long wars to establish myself against great hordes of foes tried my commanding capabilities in tactics, strategy, and grand strategy. After dispatching the local barbarians and the Gauls, I became involved in a slugging match in northern Italy with the Roman Republic, which, after many years and innumerable casualties on both sides, resulted in my retreat from Italy, to more defensible positions in the Alps. At the same time, I was forced to fend off the Thracians, who invaded from the Eastern steppe into Prussia, the Spaniards who invaded Narbonensis and Lugdinensis (southern and central France), and the Illyrians, whom I fought in Pannonia, Illyria, Histria, and Delmatia. After a very very long time, some very risky moves, and some fantastic victories, I siezed my chance, and ran a quick and devastating blitzkrieg down the boot and took Rome. The rest of the peninsula soon fell, as did the Republic, and Spain soon after that. After I turned the tables on the Illyrians and drove them from Delmatia, their allies, the Macedonians, joined the conflict. Now the Allies include Illyria, Macedon, and Thrace.

The Macedonians are without question THE power to be reckoned with. Though I control 60 provinces and all of Western Europe, they control more provinces than I, have a much larger economy, and, most importantly, can draw on a vastly larger population. For all my fantastic victories and immense power, even I am dwarfed by their potential.

I have never seen the AI do this.

The Macedonians control Greece, Anatolia, Syria and Iraq, Judea, Egypt, and part of the Pontic Steppe. From this, they are capable of creating epically huge armies. Even I, in my Macedonian games that stretch from India to Tunisia, have never been able to create an army the likes of which you will find in this screenshot:



The average Macedonian army has, in my experience, around 2000 men. Using this number, we can estimate known Macedonian strength to be in the area of 80,000 men in the field, plus 4,000 Illyrian, and at least 5,000Thracians near the mouth of the Dniester River.

Assuming my average army fields 1700 men, and I have nine armies in this theater, we can estimate my forces present to number at 15, 500 or so.

This means total Germanic strength in the Illyrian Theater of Operations: 15,000 men.

Total Allied strength in the Illyrian Theater: 89,000 men.

This does not include, of course, the 10,000 I have dedicated to the Carthaginian Theater, or the 5,000 in the Northern Theater fighting the Thracians. Even with them included, I have only 30,000 in the field, against a known 89,000 man force. I am still outnumbered 3:1, and that is only known Allied forces.

The conquest of the massively huge Carthaginian cities has given me new monetary strength, permitting me to que the training of an additional 20,000 men over the next four turns, though it may be as many as 15 additional turns before they reach the front lines.

Despite this vast numerical inferiority, I have managed a string fo stunning victories, for my men are battle-hardened and experienced, led by capable, veteran generals, including my ten command star Faction Leader. I am averaging only 15% of the casualty rate of my opponents in each battle, losing perhaps 300, yet liquidating entire Macedonian armies. Yet no matter how many I cut down, there are always new armies rushed to the front. I imagine this must be how the German generals felt on the Eastern Front, capably trained and led, but hopelessly outnumbered. I am lucky that the Macedonians do not fall on me with their full force of numbers, and only allow a trickle into Illyria, though it is still enough to outnumber me 2:1.

I cannot keep this up forever.

This is the present situation:



I am forced to retire four armies to Italy for refit, with only two armies arriving to replace them. Though I command a superior position to the north of the Danube, I do not hold the bridge I so desire to. Though Segestica is newly liberated (it was mine before the war, taken long ago from the Illyrians), its purpose as an anchor for the line there is minimal; if my front folds, it will be there, not in Pannonia.

I wish I had more men.

No matter how many battles I win, there are always more Macedonians rising to take their place. It is a game of time. I must hold them back until I can refit those armies, and rush the new ones to the front. I must finish this conquest of north Africa quickly, for I need both the men there and the cities' production capacity. I need to win every battle I fight. I need to survive.

I need more time.

However, I have a plan for a diversion.

While truly epic numbers of men await me in Macedonia, the Pelopponesus and southern Greece are virtually undefended. With their cities quickly becoming infested with Germanic spies, it will only be turns before a raiding force arrives and siezes several of Macedonia's most populous cities, richest provinces, and threatens their flank, as well as the rest of Greece. If I pull this off, it will be one of the greatest turning movements in RTR history; if I don't, there can be no hope for the Germanic Empire.

Never has the fate of so many rested on the actions of so few.
 
Agreed what game is that.
 
Where do I find said mod?
 
Thanks I'm gonna check that out.

I've also got a rant, I was jogging today when I felt this pain in my back. I had to stop and just wen't home and have been laying down ever since.
 
I can't quite "Get Around" :(
 
the internet works on my dad's computer, my mom/sister's computer, the laptop, and the PS3 but for some unknown reason, it refuses to work on my computer. blah

and my parents got a sprinkler system and now the grass it always wet and that bothers me. i like dry grass.
 
I believe many servers have a five device limit. I'm not positive though.
 
Mostly the problems with moving anywhere, missing friends, having to learn new stuff, (Now I have to learn Canadian History if we do), and since I'm in school, problems with school learning, not to mention other things like my Karate classes.

I bet Canada has Karate classes. And some of Canada speaks English.

I believe many servers have a five device limit. I'm not positive though.

My uncle said I had this problem, and you just need to fiddle with the router settings. It didn't work for me, but I think that's because that wasn't my problem.


My rant...

I still have three of my wisdom teeth. Because when my bottom left one was a problem, that's the only one they took out. And I canceled the appointment to get the top ones removed, because I went into a panic about general anesthesia. So I've still got the top ones, which are fine, and the bottom right one, which is starting over the past two or three days to be a problem. It wouldn't be a big problem except that I'm going away for two and a half weeks, in one week. I can't get this taken care of in the next week. And I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to get it taken care of while I'm away. So it seems like the best-case scenario is that it becomes not a problem of its own accord. Second-best-case is that it gets worse, I hit up an ER in western PA and get a script for some numnums painkillers and then deal with it for real when I get home but chill with the numnums painkillers while I'm away. Worst-case is that it gets worse and I can't get it dealt with at all in PA and I can't get a script and that I'm just in awful mouth pain for my entire vacation.
 
Mile Repeats suck, especially when they're at 90%. I can barely move my legs.
 
There are three kinds of poeple that make me lose my hope in humanity when I read one of their letters:housewifes, women trying to help their husband in a business and businessleaders.

I am no grammar nazi and I would occasionaly make a mistake in my typing, (i'm talking about Dutch, you will probably find some mistakes in English, who cares anyway, grammar nazi)
but sometimes you test my patience, hurt my eyes, decrease my libido and kill my brain when I read one of your letters, housewifes.

Learn to write, or better, learn some words, there is nothing worse then the poeple who tries to write a letter to a lawyer (so it's formal) and start with: dag, (the equavalent of yo)

and then write up a complete bunch of incoherent nonsense spread out over an atrocious lay-out and font. (some poeple should be shot for using "funny" fonts), make horrible grammar mistakes, switch between "je" and "u" constantly, (jackel and hyde syndrome anyone), and miswrite even the easiest words in such a way i'm thinking I'm working at a "special" school or you women are doing it on purpose (which colour of car goes the fastest? Red or blue?).

These women deserve a good wifebeater, and if they would be pregnant and I was their husband, i'd personally do some social darwinism to make sure their genes don't spread.

Then you have the women who work in the business of their husband, a little less atrocious but double as annoying just becuase they have the tendency to think they know anything.

Go back in the kitchen, ask your husband to hire a cheap employee for the company and leave the world alone, you can drink your gin all day long, so smile when your husband crawls on top of you.

and one fact: women cheat their husband more then vice versa, this can be just anecdotal, but some women are just golddiggers and then even dare to claim they do it "for the kids". (it's especially hypocrite when they start talking about the alimony when their "new" boyfriend is sitting next to her, and the kids are in the car.)

and then, businessleaders, these guys are supposed to be the "elite" of the society, the best and brightest, becuase yeah "the free market solves all".

I'm surprised the free market can solve anything when I read your letters or hear you over the telephone.

No, we won't work harder for you becuase you found the caps-lock button, and no, an exclamation mark does not make us worry about the urgency or importance, it just makes you appear more for the loudmouthing idiot baffoon you probably are.

and please, don't be an idiot, don't claim you know the law better then a lawyer, you are being ******ed, I don't claim I'm better then you in ruining a business, so have some courtesy.

And please, be professional, I like West-Flemish too, but I don't like it when I hear it from some corpulent idiot like you. We are at working hours, and we must uphold some standards, you are supposed to be an example for your employees.

What's even more disgusting is that you blackmail and lie to your own cliënts, how dare you, you got the guts to sue the state for a wrongfull tax (you win), but you are being a damn filthy criminal when you don't send the money you got from the trial to those that payed the tax in the first place (the farmers who sold their pgis to you and had to pay the tax). When you even threaten them to not accept their pigs or cows when they go to court for it, I hope a bull will rape you.

"the elite of the society who keep the country running?"

"the only elite you remember me off is that of the nobility: inbreeding criminals with a tendency for nepotism and outragious decadence.

And now time for another inbreeding "elite", our royal family.

Dear King Albert II, you are an idiot, a hypocrite, a liar, a coward and worse.

you, the son of a nazi-sympathisiser, aren't worthy of anything more becuase you came out of the right orifice.

I hope we can do a mussolini on you, since you like Italy so much, you flee there whenever there is some trouble in the country. Maybe we should strangle your wife with the scarfs sge got with the state-funded shopping sprees of her.

Maybe? Definitly.

What's even worse, is that unlike your brother, who had at least some integrity, you have children.

and let's look at the fine lot they are: idiots avant la lettre.

Crownprince Filip has even worse social skills then the autist from rain man, and the intelligence of a rotten corpse. I'm glad you can mutter some words, becuase it takes away the doubt of what kind of idiot you are.

And please stop making children (that go for all of you royal family)

yay, we are all glad you could be finally hooked up with some doll when you were 47 or something but you don't have to make it up for it with producing a new idiot every year, like your sister and brother do.

Please, for the sake of this country, kill yourself.

you are only furthering my own agenda by living.

Princess Astrid, congratulations on being the chairwoman of the red cross, it gives you some prestige and the chance to act like a figure of the union of Belgium, and that's probably why the red cross has split last year in a Flemish and a wallon part. (screw the Brussels red cross)

Also, stop making kids, yes we know you all are ultra-catholic, but don't, please don't, with every kid you make, you hurt my feelings as a tax-paying republican and you lower the I.Q average of this country.

Prince Laurent, you like being rich, having all the cars you want, golden watch al galore, estates and still complaining you don't get enough money so you even have to resort to fraud of instead of our charity?

What have you ever done to deserve it?

Actually, can you name something you have done?

You must be the worst hypocrite of the world if you claim to be green, then just to drive off in your porsche.

I hope I can personally get your hands on you, I'd suffucate you with your own exhaust of your porsche, to proof Carbon monoxide is bad.


one good last advice, just do what Fabiola is doing now: shut up, smile when you have to, and slowly wither and die.


that
is all.
 
Phil, I'm no one's wife, but the pre-lawyer letters I've written for my company have shut up some crap-ass lawyers. Your paintbrush is just a hair too big, dearie.

HOLY CRAP FRICKIN FRACK

So my boss hurt his back the other day. And went to the ER, and got a script for something that has alleviated his pain but left him behaving terribly. He's being rude to everyone, saying stupid, thoughtless things, and generally making a lot of messes that I have to clean up.

If you want to take drugs that make you a dumbass, I have no problem with that at all, I don't care what drugs people want to take, but for the love of all things holy, stay home when you're high. I really hope he makes a mess that he has to clean up himself, just to get a taste of what he's doing to everyone else.


Also, this tooth problem is becoming more of a problem, and my pre-PA time to deal with it is growing short. :/
 
Damn lawn maintenance people are making too much noise and parking directly in the road. They're working on my neighbor's yard. I'd be a bit more sympathetic if they were senior citizens that were physically unable to say, mow the lawn. But they're all able-bodied people. They have three able-bodied boys and two able-bodied girls. Get off your ass and do your own goddamn work. The money could be used for something else. But NO. This is the third time I was woken up by them.
 
Dear thread:

I would like to complain about the following things. First, my stupid pants with the holes in the pockets. Second, my complete jackhat of a (hopefull soon to be ex-) roommate.

Sincerely,
Eran of Arcadia
 
Dear thread:

I would like to complain about the following things. First, my stupid pants with the holes in the pockets. Second, my complete jackhat of a (hopefull soon to be ex-) roommate.

Sincerely,
Eran of Arcadia

Dear Eran of Arcadia,

Perhaps I could mend your trousers for you. If you buy the materials and send them and your pantaloni to me I will send them back fully repaired. As for your roommate, I hope that you have every success in driving him away.

Yours sincerely,

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