NyNES: Might of the Pen

Understood. It's been a good run. :salute: A wise move, considering how late it is now and how it would affect overall judging.

And so, judging commences.
 
Damn. Yet another bye. It's not that I don't enjoy winning, or that I don't think my stories are decent, it's just that I don't feel right in getting to the finals without ever technically beating anyone.
 
Thus is the greatest flaw of this entire forum.

At the very least, take heart in the story that has been written. When all is said in done, it will be of much more value than the title of victor, regardless of the difficulty of competition. That's what will last the longest, and that's what has meant the most.
 
Please allow me one more day to judge. I need it--you all wrote so well!*

*I actually haven't read anything yet.
 
LightFang is emotionally abusive. I just thought you all should know.
 
Unless it makes the update come faster. But considering when last updated, a certain judge hadn't even bothered reading the stories yet.... ;)
 
The update will be up Tuesday, with or without any input from my judges.
 
The update will be up Tuesday, with or without any input from my judges.

Okay! I guess I don't have to do anything!*

*Although of course something will probably show up tomorrow just because I'm cool like that.
 
Round Three Results: Everyone Has A Wish



“So this is it? It’s finally time. Everything you’ve been working towards for all this time. Everything you’ve sacrificed. Everyone you’ve sacrificed. All of those unspeakable things. It’s all lead up to this. Are you really going to kill them all off…even the victor?

“…”

There was no response from the silhouette at the window. It was completely still.

“I don’t understand why you needed to watch them fight. Not do I understand what your machines are for. I don’t understand why you lured everyone here. I don’t understand what you’re trying to do.”

“…”

“…You’ve changed, too. In fact, you’re little more than a shadow of the kind man you once were. A pitiful, disgusting excuse for a human being. You’re completely soulless. There’s nothing inside of you but madness.” She began to shake, and her clenched fists quivered in the air. She grabbed the table next to her in attempt to stop, but it only caused the tea set to clink and chatter.

“…”

Still no response. Perhaps he really was just a hollow shell. This once proud and respected man, Nobel winner and philanthropist, had more than undone all the good he had brought into the world. The life-saving research, the children’s hospitals, the speeches, the charities…they were all irrelevant now.

It had happened right before her eyes. The man she had admired was completely gone now. There was nothing left of him to hold on to. Yet…why had she stayed with him? Why was she here now? Why didn’t she just push him out the window and end this nightmare?

“I want absolutely nothing to do with you.”

That wasn’t true.

“I wish we had never met!!!”

It was the happiest day of her life.

“I….I….” Her voice quivered. She was sweating now, so much so that she could no longer properly grip the table. She couldn’t see either, and the tears were streaking down her face.

“I…I hate you!!”

She ran at him full tilt, intending to knock the both of them out of the window to their deaths below. The silhouette simply sidestepped at the last possible moment, and placed his hand on the small of her back as he thrust her forward through the glass. After the shards settled, there was no sound but that of a grandfather clock’s tick.



She loved him



“Hmm…”

The man stepped forward and looked down, frowning as the sun cast a shadow across his features. “I guess we’re too high up.” He shrugged and walked over to the table with the tea set, which he straightened out as he began to speak softly to himself.

“I’m not a bad person. I’m…I’m not.” He shook his head and muttered to himself.

“I didn’t ask you to stay. I didn’t ask you to leave the tower. I didn’t ask you to snap because you couldn’t handle the stress. Don’t blame your moronic fate on me. I didn’t do anything wrong at all. I was just minding my own business. No, I was doing more than that. I was trying my hardest to save this forsaken world. I was doing good things for people. But…” He choked on his words.

“…I couldn’t save her. Everyone has a wish. Wishes drive us forward. They are why we work hard. They are why mankind progresses. The problem is that people's wishes conflict. People's dreams conflict. To grant your wish, you may have to step on someone else's. That's the way the world works.

"I’m not a bad person. I’m not a bad person. I just…I just want her back. No matter what the consequences are. No matter what I have to sacrifice. I’ll take these people’s power. I’ll take their strong hearts. I’ll take their wishes. I’ll use it all. I just want my wish granted. If anyone deserves to have their wish granted, it’s me. I…I…”

His sight wavered as he sobbed, and he had to grab the table in order to steady himself. He was breathing heavily, and his palms were as sweaty as the girl’s had been moments before. His agony was consuming him.

“…I have to get my daughter back!”

Spoiler :
That’s all you get to work with. I want to give you as much creative license as possible with this final entry, as you will not only need to defeat you opponent, but wrap up the storyline as well. Go crazy here. This is your story much more than it is mine. Don’t hold back.
Sorry about the quality, but I couldn’t find a way to put more of the traditional update content into this story without watering it down. For specific results, continue to the next post.
 
As I judged this round entirely myself, I felt I should provide some proper explanation for my choice(s). Admittedly, I should have been doing this from the beginning, but at this point I’m glad that I’m managing to write anything at all. I’m sure you all know very well, but writer’s block is nasty.

My thoughts:

Holy snap orangelex. You really went there. The amount of character development you managed to cram into that one small entry is ridiculous. Kyle went from the intriguing, scrappy, comic-relief character to a complete dick in less than five minutes. And I liked it. Your decision was bold. You had the guts to straight up murder James without even the smallest concern for his importance as a character. Then you went and screwed over a genuinely nice guy in a rather brutal fashion. It worked very, very well. Auto-advance or not, we have ourselves a fully developed and well written “villain” in the finals.

Both Icekommander and Iggy managed to emulate their opponents very well. Both battles were creative, easy to visualize, and enjoyable. Both entries brought a poetic and end to the loser’s run that fit well with the overall theme of the competition, as well as the character’s backgrounds. I’m sure it comes off as corny and forced, but I mean it when I say that this was by far the hardest entry to judge so far. It’s worthy of a semifinals match. In order to decide, I had to really get down to the nitty gritty.

In the end, Iggy’s story flowed a little better and the way he finished off Icekommander was very creative. He also set up the final round quite nicely. Thanks Icekommander for all of your writing, we saw a very obvious progression in your writing and you’ve had a justifiably strong run. I really liked your character. I can only hope we haven’t seen the last of our icy friend (both the monster and the writer).

Sybrus vs Kyle in the finals.​

I will need to get in touch with both of you in order to discuss your schedules as well as answer any questions about what this final round entails.

Spoiler :
Insofar as update promptness is concerned...it's still Tuesday in California :p
 
Icekommander- I feel I must say again that I really liked your story, and would have been happy with either of us winning- I think that I personally preferred your first half of the battle, with Jiefin's involvement and all. I'd like to see what happens with Icekommander once Sybrus lets him out of the box.

Now, to make sense of the subplots going on, and trying to make a suitably epic conclusion to this NES.
 
:salute: Good luck in the finals Iggy.I'm just glad now I don't have to work my arse off trying to cap off all the subplots ;)
 
Ny - I appreciate the praise. Iggy (and, for that matter, IC) - I salute a fine competitor.

That being said, I've technically retired from the forums (long story, blame RL on several fronts), but in the interest of NOT being a total dick, I'll be making a temporary and limited revival to complete this last detail. May the best story win.
 
He Spoke Again with Kyle

Sybrus was back in the bar, sketching out a map on a napkin and taking occasional sips from a glass of water. The noise of the party around him was lost to him, his focus firmly on the tiny scrap of paper in front of him.

The bartender approached, drying off a large mug- did he ever put that towel down?

“Still working on that thing?”

Sybrus looked up and grinned at a familiar face. “Hello there. Sorry I haven’t been around busy, I think I’m on to something.”

“Oh yes?”

“Well, perhaps. I think I’ve found where I am, but... it doesn’t make sense.”

The bartender chuckled.

“Most things here don’t,” he chuckled, scratching at his flecked, bushy moustache, “And they’ll drive you mad if you try to force logic on ‘em. I just try to keep focused on my job and let it slide.”

Sybrus smiled slightly, in partial agreement with the sentiment, and tapped his glass lightly on the table, falling again deep into thought. The two remained as islands of silence in the noisy sea of humanity. Sybrus waved a pen over the napkin map a few more times, then seemingly losing interest, looked up again at the crowd.

“Hm.”

Kyle was in the middle of the floor near the pounding speakers, jumping and dancing around through the crowd. Sybrus squinted again, and watched. Kyle looked to still be somewhat injured from his previous battles, but that clearly wasn’t keeping him bedridden. Strange.

Sybrus was troubled by what he had come to learn about the man. He had initially viewed him as a just another strange competitor- but then again, who was he to judge? Bizarre seemed to be par for the course on Carnivale, and Kyle acted more normal than most. The man seemed harmless enough- sure, he had the persona of a reckless young man, a boaster and actor, a partier posing as some kind of rebel or noncomformist, but it seemed to be just an act, a grab for social acceptance or some such thing. But his actions spoke a completely different story- one of a cold-hearted, spiteful and ruthless killer. Whether this was his true nature, or maybe just another layer of Kyle’s labyrinthine personality, Sybrus could only speculate.

He looked up again at the group, then stood up, casually slipping through the crowd towards Kyle. The dancers separated before him- as much as a group of drunken partiers can- as Sybrus passed through, until he made contact with his rival. Kyle raised his head to peer over the crowd, then put on an uneven grin and pushed his way towards the cyborg.

“Sybrus! Good to see you turn up.” He was slurring slightly, and put his arm around Sybrus’ mechanical shoulder. Sybrus uncomfortably repeated the gesture.

“Yeah, I’ve been around. It’s been a while.”

“A while... yeah, what, a week? Suh... something like that... So, you iced popsicle man! Hah! That’s a good one.”

Sybrus gave Kyle an odd look, failing to recognize the pun, but eventually joining in with the inebriated laughter.

“Ah, he’s still around, but he’s out of the competition.”

“And I offed Inky... popped him like a balloon!”

Sybrus opened his mouth as if to laugh, but hesitated. Kyle had no such inhibitions, laughing until he could barely breathe. The cyborg took the opportunity to speak.

“So then... you realize what this means.”

“Yeah... I do. But I’m in no rush- I’m not gonna let anything put a damper on my free vacation here- I mean, look at you! Your eyes, if you lose any more sleep to that multi-dimension thing they’ll sink back clear through your skull!”

“Maybe... so then, what until... the event?”

“Live life to the fullest, Cyber-Brain!”

“You seem to do quite well making sure the others don’t get the chance to do that.”

“Meh, I didn’t even know those guys’ names. We’ve talked before. I’m a gentleman, I won’t shoot until you’ve had fair warning. Hah!”

Kyle laughed some more, Sybrus didn’t join in- his cold gaze went unnoticed by Kyle. The lanky man grabbed a bottle of beer and sauntered back into the heart of the party. Sybrus almost took a step in pursuit, but hesitated. His mechanical leg was twitching, for some nervous reason of its own. Pausing for a few seconds, Sybrus then stepped back, and returned to his seat. He reached for the map-napkin, but found his left arm was now jittering violently, consumed in some sort of fit. The barkeeper looked with some concern, but Sybrus simply held his right hand up to allay any concerns, before hastily exiting the building. Once in the open, his mechanical portion calmed, quickly reverting back to his full control. Sybrus paused for several seconds, then began to pace around in the darkness- it was a cloudy night, and a new moon as well. As he traveled around the clearing in front of the bar, he sought out an explanation for the strange behaviour. He typically trusted the instincts of his mechanical half, and it usually had good reasons to act, but-

The gunshot rang out in a single, harsh staccato. A rough spray of blood splattered from Sybrus’ lower left jaw, and he flopped violently to the ground. His mechanical half burst into a manic, twitching fit on the ground. Two more gunshots echoed through the island, fading into an utter silence. In the shadows near the entrance of the bar, the silhouette of Kyle stood, leaning casually against a wall. He was invisible in the dim light, save for a dull reflection off of his bright, Cheshire grin. A dark chuckle emanated from him, as he blew imaginary smoke from the muzzle of his pistol.

“Sybrus, Sybrus, Sybrus, you should’ve learned to never take a man’s word at stakes like these. Good night.”

His eyes now adjusted to the darkness, Kyle fired off a final bullet towards Sybrus’ body...
 
He Battled the Gunman

Sybrus Brayne lay on the ground, thoughts racing through his head. He had recognized treachery the second of the gunshot, but had no time to react. At the very back of his jaw, he was bleeding profusely. The bullet had struck a point where metal still extended up to his face, shattering and twisting it agonizingly into his flesh.

At the instant of impact, he had thrown himself to the ground, his mechanical half bursting into a mad chorus of ‘I told you so’. Two more gunshots struck the earth just inches awa, sending tiny sprays of dirt onto Sybrus. He froze, his only movement a slow, creeping shift of his left hand towards his collapsed staff. It closed on the object. Sybrus’ whole body tensed.

A faint laugh came from the direction of the bar door, the assailant grinning widely.

“Sybrus, Sybrus, Sybrus, you should’ve learned to never take a man’s word at stakes like these. Good night.”

Sybrus’ mechanical fingers held the tiny baton as tightly as they could, deadly still in anticipation.

Gunshot.

With inhuman reflexes, his mechanical arm telescoped the staff, extending it to full length faster than the eye could follow. With a click, the flattened blades in the tips extended, spinning perfectly into position to meet the bullet. With a sharp metallic ring, the bullet deflected back at its origin.

Kyle gave a shout and leapt to the side. The bullet passed wide of him, embedding itself in the wooden door. Sybrus scrambled to his feet, assuming a defensive stance.

“Gentleman?” asked the cyborg, blood still dripping from his jaw.

“I’ve heard worse said of me.”

Kyle began to slowly back towards the door. Sybrus leapt at him in an astonishing burst of speed, twirling his staff and striking Kyle’s gun away as it fired, burying the bullet into the packed earth. The cyborg resumed his bent stance, reaching back with his mechanical leg to pull the door shut.

“This is between us. Don’t try to get anyone else in the way.”

The two figures stood frozen, daring each other to make the next move.

“Well, have it your way then.” said Kyle flatly. With a deft motion, he pulled another pistol out of his deep pockets and fired both. Sybrus hurled himself to the side, bouncing off a wall then hurling himself back towards Kyle. A window shattered somewhere as another two shots were fired. Sybrus swung his staff down at Kyle’s hands, causing him to dodge, swinging back to harshly whip Sybrus’ face. The cyborg followed through on his previous swing, spinning around stabbing the end of his staff into Kyle’s gut. Being a cutting and not a stabbing weapon, the blow did little more than wind him and break the skin.

Grunting, Kyle swung his right arm again at Sybrus, who ducked the blow only to be hit by a bullet from Kyle’s second pistol. It ricocheted off Sybrus’ left leg and out of sight.

Struggling in the darkness, illuminated only by the yellow light of the bar windows, the two exchanged a harsh, tactical series of blows. Kyle, conserving his ammunition, repeatedly used his guns to block Sybrus’ attacks, with significant effect. The staff, while deadly swift and sharp, had very little mass of its own, and could be quickly decelerated by the dense, metal in Kyle’s improvised weapons.

Sybrus sought to create an opening to land a solid blow on his opponent, or to force him to use his remaining bullets. Kyle sought to take Sybrus off balance, lifting the seemingly bulletproof shield provided by machined reflexes and that damned weapon of his.

Blow met block and strike, as the two opponents attempted to outwit and outmaneuver each other, to take positions of decisive advantage. Both were fighting in uncomfortable turf- Kyle knew that his stamina was quickly running out, and Sybrus’ penchant for improvisation had deserted him, both of his minds focused firmly on survival.

Sybrus, having fallen into a pattern, suddenly switched up, feigning an overhead blow at Kyle’s head before suddenly withdrawing. Kyle swung in reaction, only to have a sudden redirection knock the pistol out of his left hand. Diving forward and somersaulting past Kyle, Sybrus spun around as he rose on the other side of his rival. His bladed staff spun around just as Kyle was beginning to turn around, both guns ready to fire. With deadly accuracy, the blade cut the backs of his tensed knees. Kyle cried out in pain, falling back to the ground. Sybrus rose, pulling his staff back for a finishing blow just as Kyle’s tumbling roll came to an end. Rolling over onto his back, Kyle extended his right arm and fired.

The aim was true- the bullet flew straight through Sybrus’ living arm.

“Agh!” Sybrus shouted and stumbled, and his mechanical half could not correct for the sudden motion- the blade struck the ground just beside Kyle’s head. Scrambling, Kyle’s right arm wrapped around the staff, holding it between his arm and body as he aimed for one final shot.

Sybrus had no time to think. He twisted the staff, and wrenched it out. It held for a moment, then slid free with a slick, visceral noise.

Kyle screamed in pain. Blood splashed along the blade, and Sybrus saw the man’s right hand hanging only by a few pieces of raw skin and sinew. Kyle writhed, twisting his body around and struggling to hold back further outbursts, while Sybrus stood motionless, planting his staff in the ground and breathing heavily.

“It’s over, Kyle.”

The man lying on the ground looked pitiable, as if all of his injuries over the past weeks were suddenly taking this moment to reveal themselves. A pool of blood spread around his legs, and another one was rapidly growing from his right hand.

Sybrus spoke again.

“It’s over. I can get you to the tower, they can heal you there.”

Kyle, wincing and holding back tears of pain, nodded weakly.

“But that’s not why it’s over, Kyle, and I’m going to tell you why. You know, I have believed for most of my life that there’s something more about humanity. Something that ties us all together, no matter who or what we are. Whether we’re weak or strong, brave or cowardly, wise or foolish... or even not physically human,” he murmured, looking introspectively at his clicking mechanical arm, “...we are all tied together by our connections to each other. Our eternal spirit of cooperation, of camaraderie, whatever you want to call it. That’s why I don’t tend to kill people, Kyle. Because no matter who you are, you still have that human element, that capacity to befriend, to care, to love... and I won’t destroy that.

But there’s one kind of person that I can’t stand. Someone who’s duplicitous. Someone who’s a liar. Someone who, when push comes to shove, cares nothing about anyone else. The people who would divide up all of humanity, with thoughts only of personal gain. Someone who would take someone’s best intentions and use them against them. That kind of person has surrendered their spark of humanity, and I hate and pity them.

I know that you’re expecting me to spare you, to lower my defenses and bring you to safety.... but...” several dull-coloured sensors on his mechanical body flashed red, “I see that gun that you’re hiding behind your back, Kyle, and I’m not going to let you fire it.”

Kyle’s eyes widened. His cover blown, he desperately tried to pull out the concealed weapon- but he was not fast enough. Sybrus’ staff slid swiftly across the ground, cutting clean through Kyle’s neck. The body went limp, and Sybrus stood still for a long time, staring down at Kyle’s unblinking eyes. The mysteries of the man who had once possessed them slowly sank away into their unseen depths.

A dry wind blew through the street, and Sybrus turned, quietly following it into the darkness. The body rested where it lay.
 
Awww... I'll let you know, Iggy, I let your character live in my story. ;)

That being said, I sent it to Ny at least a week and a half ago, and he has neither responded nor posted it. I don't know why - but if he doesn't do anything by, say, Sunday, I'll try to remember to post it.
 
Then check your inbox ;)

I'd rather you post it, for continuity's sake. Iggy has one more portion left, I believe.
 
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