1001 Bad (or good) Jokes About CIV

sendos · Jan 19, 2014

327: How did Carthage survive after the 2nd Punic War? Because the Romans sowed salt all over their lands.
328: A Sea Beggar approaches a cargo ship and the captain asks: "do you have any spare change"? The cargo ship captain, frightened at the sight of the Sea Beggar, gave him all the gold he was storing and scuttled the ship.
329: A UU unit idea: Twerker, replaces the worker. Enables twerk mode. Whilst in twerk mode, the twerker captures barbarian units.

altayrneto · Jan 20, 2014

Pedro's Party People training to the war: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8tN6O7afIA

Sturmgewher88mm · Jan 20, 2014

altayrneto said:
Pedro's Party People training to the war: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8tN6O7afIA

^330

OH GOD so funny!! :lmao:

Silverman6083 · Jan 28, 2014

331.
Genghis bribed you to go to war, and he attacks you.
You might say he's a *puts on sunglasses*
Khan-man

vivalamexico · Jan 28, 2014

seanflokstra7 said:
163. Name your religion Your Sister
Watch as hilarity ensues
"Venice wants your sister"
"You have enhanced your sister"
"Holy city for your sister"

omfg, lol'd so hard :lol:

vivalamexico · Jan 28, 2014

332.
Q: How do you upgrade a warrior?
A: Send him to a barber shop
Q: What does he become?
A: a mohawk warrior!

vivalamexico · Jan 28, 2014

333. What did Bismarck say when Haile tried to Stele his allied CS?

Hanse off!

otaman1 · Jan 28, 2014

Washington is washing-ton of clothes for his Minutemen.

reddishrecue · Jan 28, 2014

^^334
335. In Barcelona, Spainards named a grass landmark 'Monte Zuma' (Zuma grass).

Tyrus · Jan 28, 2014

Civilization 5; where having crabs is a good thing.

vivalamexico · Jan 28, 2014

337. Notification screen: Washington has completed the Kremlin :lol:

Sturmgewher88mm · Jan 28, 2014

vivalamexico said:
336. Notification screen: Washington has completed the Kremlin

337. Washington has adopted the Order ideology :mischief:

G Viceroy · Jan 28, 2014

338. Catherine, I'm not going to join you in a war against Poland. Quit horsing around.

Sent from my Venue 7 3730 using Tapatalk

otaman1 · Jan 29, 2014

^^^339

Gori the Grey · Feb 22, 2014

340. A neighboring civ went to war with me for one of my luxes, but I withstood the a-salt.

341. If my city is on a river, why can't it have two banks?

342. I thought about settling inland, but with all of these sea resources and trade routes, I should coast to a victory.

343. Notice that there's one building that let's you get started producing Great Merchants. Mark it.

344. A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for happiness. The bartender says, what do you think this place is? Zanzi-bar?

345. What is the best kind of tile for increasing your civ's happiness? Merchan-tile.

346. I'm getting pearls from Florence, but I think they might be cultured.

347. Last turn I just had one of each of my luxes. This turn I have two. That's just bazaar.

348. I probably get as many soldiers from my CS ally as I build myself (here in this vanilla game). My army is Dublin.

349. I made a good city state alliance and now I'm getting Lhasa faith.

350. I need more happiness. I'm going to see if my spy can Riga election somewhere.

351. As Atilla, I'm just about to take out Siam with my great UU, my Battering Rammy.

352. What's the best time to increase growth in your capital? Mari-time.

seanflokstra7 · Feb 22, 2014

Gori the Grey said:
340. A neighboring civ went to war with me for one of my luxes, but I withstood the a-salt.

341. If my city is on a river, why can't it have two banks?

342. I thought about settling inland, but with all of these sea resources and trade routes, I should coast to a victory.

343. Notice that there's one building that let's you get started producing Great Merchants. Mark it.

344. A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for happiness. The bartender says, what do you think this place is? Zanzi-bar?

345. What is the best kind of tile for increasing your civ's happiness? Merchan-tile.

346. I'm getting pearls from Florence, but I think they might be cultured.

347. Last turn I just had one of each of my luxes. This turn I have two. That's just bazaar.

348. I probably get as many soldiers from my CS ally as I build myself (here in this vanilla game). My army is Dublin.

349. I made a good city state alliance and now I'm getting Lhasa faith.

350. I need more happiness. I'm going to see if my spy can Riga election somewhere.

351. As Atilla, I'm just about to take out Siam with my great UU, my Battering Rammy.

352. What's the best time to increase growth in your capital? Mari-time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJuvLndCMfc

Sturmgewher88mm · Feb 22, 2014

So sad that we haven't even gotten halfway there

redwings1340 · Feb 22, 2014

Sturmgewher88mm said:
So sad that we haven't even gotten halfway there

Yeah, I've tried my best for a time, but I'm not great at jokes. Come on Gori, we need another 600 from you!

Sturmgewher88mm · Feb 22, 2014

353. Why did Bismarck try to settle all his cities on mountains? So Germany would be über Alles

seanflokstra7 · Feb 22, 2014

354. Theodora: Catherine, I'm bored. What do you recommend for some fun?
Catherine: Horses. I recommend Horses

1001 Bad (or good) Jokes About CIV

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