Things I learned about the science of warfare through Civilization IV

210) Cuirassiers and Cavalry are capable of flanking the faster-firing, more powerful and deadly cannons, but not slow, medieval siegecraft. They're thinking "Hmm, that archaic boulder-throwing device can't possibly hurt me, now that I have a shiny new rifle."

211) Paratroopers can drop behind enemy lines and walk behind enemy lines, but are forbidden by protocol to fire their machine guns for another year, unless someone shoots at them first.

212) Once one nation develops a nuclear weapons program, no other nation needs to do the same in order to build their own nuclear weapons.

210) Capapults firing rocks can have an actual impact on tanks. Maybe the tank crews are just rolling on the floor laughing at the idiots throwing rocks at them and the drive into one each other!

211) If you destroy your opponents sole source of aluminum they will stop building modern armor and instead build Tanks

212) The moment a nation gains access to copper all club wielding warriors currently being trained are taught how to use an axe which is very similiar to their original training.

#213 To "train" an axeman, you don't simply take a citizen and give him an axe, you give him an axe and make him twice his size.

#214 You learn more when you kill your enemy by attacking then while defending I mean... kill is kill

#215 If some citizens are "drafted" those remaining in the city are angry ("Hell no. We won't go") as if they had to go to war as well

#216 "Great General Units" are good in attacking or healing or stuff but seem to suffer -50% "when defending"...

#217 Siege is just this toy for taking down walls. In fact, they're really uselessas. Well, those hot chicks in black leather are way faster in removing them.

#218 Training units in a Military Academy doesn't give you better units but more of 'em.

#219 At some point, killing Animals and barbs is just pointless as you already know how to deal with them by heart. But hey, why do I have those low odds again?

#220 German Panzers are more efficient, because they're called the same in german and in english.

221) It takes so long to train units, because they have to give them steroids to make them twice tthe size of the city they're attacking

That was great...Seriously, good stuff.

222) It requires no citizens to create a army unless you force them to come.

223) If you give stuff to someone they are forced to not attack you for 50 years.

210) Apparently a civilization equals a nationstate!

211) A guy in a loincloth with a wooden club costs 1/16 of a modern armor!

PotterDK said:

225) A guy in a loincloth with a wooden club costs 1/16 of a modern armor!

Click to expand...

226) They both cost the same upkeep.

227) The training of a settler takes so long because he has to master the uber-difficult technique of folding an entire city into his knapsack.

EDIT, numbering fixed backward

(Sorry I totally screwed up the numbering on this thread... I'm an idiot, I'll admit it! But I mean well )

228) Workers are very hungry creatures that eat all the excess food in your cities. Howver this food makes them grow to twice their size naturally. Military Units just take steroids.

There numbering fixed.

229: The military isn't ordinary people. Actually, the volunteers just go to the secret cloning vats and once they're done, go back to their normal lives. Meanwhile, their clone is injected with radioactive toxins making them grow to twice the size of any building, and are given a suitable weapon.
230: Everything is made out of hammers.
231: Cows, pigs, fish, clams, and all other meat magically turns into bread when eaten.
232: There are no such things as supply lines.

233) Medicine for soldiers out in the field was as good 6000 years ago as it is today.

234) Citizens in any average sized city will refuse to work unless soldiers regularly patrol the streets. This rule effects cities who have never seen combat and probably never will.
235) These citizens don't care weather cavemen with clubs or modern infantry patrol the streets, they just want someone there.

236) Catapults and Trebuchets whose projectiles are clearly being hurled over the entire city will still cause collateral damage to the defenses of the city.

This is due to the fact that the projectiles will temporarily block the sun causing the defenders to bump into each other, which can be deadly with melee welding weaponry or cause target practice shooting quite a few 'bad bets' as some apples are left in tact on top of heads...

237) When in the heat of battle melee armies will not fight each other simultaneously, because doing so is a violation Chivalric rules. Instead, one set of individuals will take turns hacking each other. When the attacker is done with its multiple blows and is too tired to proceed, the defender in accordance to the final scene of "The Great White Hype" will completely eliminate his foe in one fell swoop.

Upon seeing the death of their comrades, the surviving soldiers will run right up to the now attacker and give him a funny face of disdain, only to be killed the exact same way as his brethren.

238) The confident defender, seeing the Trebuchet unescorted and seemingly defenseless, will hatch a wily plan to run up to the machine and hack it to death with its invisible crews. Unfortunately for the would be attacker, the trebuchet will come to life and whip the bejesus out of the attacker before he even has a change to use his weapon.

239) When two riflemen units fight, they fire numerous volleys at point-blank range directly into the face of the enemy.

Yet there are still survivors.

Seriously goood... I am rolling over with laughter... HA HA HA HA HA

240) The Settler is an enormously great builder and has some sort of replication technology which allows him to build an entire city in an year (and in our world.. a building takes 2 years due to bureaucracy.... so what say to a revolution)

241) (game specific) You can launch a space ship in 1960 and reach alpha centuari without bothering to visit any planet in the solar system.
242) You have a universal translator in 4000BC (Wow!! and to think that so many wars started because of misunderstanding)
243) You can give your scientists no money ever but they will beg, borrow steal and still manage to do their research.