Thing I learned about the world thru Civ4

1. After the scientific method was discovered, all monastic orders were immediately disbanded. Those Germans making beer for their meals completely vanished without a trace. Some say it was the Rapture.

2. Soon as the first scientist created a plastic material in his laboratory, all fur coats in the nation instantly disappeared.

3. National borders are determined by how many artists a nation has. If it weren't for Hollywood and 30Rock the border with Canada would run through Saint Louis.

4. There are hit singles; there are movies; and there are Broadway musicals; but there are no TV shows.

5. The only way you can get fruit in your diet is by going to the tropics for some bananas.

6. As soon as oil was discovered in Texas, people in New York City instantly got sick and started dying from oil poisoning.

7. Spearmen STILL beat tanks. If you bring enough of them. This will be good news for our defense spending.

8. It is functionally impossible for a city with a lot of food to load up trucks and transport some of that food to a city that's starving. Those kids in Africa dying off, their only hope is some random event that can make it happen.

9. Barbarians regularly hit their Bronze Age in 4000 BC and show up on civilized borders of city states that haven't yet had time to even build a warrior with a club. They prayed to the gods, and the gods provided them with arms and a huge population.

10. If you found a religion, you have no choice over where that religion will be headquartered. Islam's Mecca for example, was just a random pick by the djin of Chance.

11. If you chop down a lot of trees, that will help you build space ship parts faster. That wood turns itself into plastic and aluminum, magically.

12. You can mine missionaries and axemen out of the hills. Just be careful how you swing those picks to dig them out.

13. The Rocky Mountains are inaccessible to anyone because of the terrain type. All skiing in Aspen, Colorado, is hereby cancelled. Hannibal never made it to Rome because of the Alps.

Post your own....

14. Slavery is the best thing in human history.

15. Slaves always die when you make them work.

16. If you have democracy you only have to pay some money and all work in a city is completed.

17. A change to Environmentalism causes temporary chaos in your empire as people begin to care more about the world around them, it also inspires citizens to derive pure gold from the trees,when these trees are cut down, the gold reserves found in the trees are destroyed in the process.

Skallagrimson said:

15. Slaves always die when you make them work.

Click to expand...

18. And all the ones that didn't die are angry, even if they aren't slaves.

19. Camels went extinct in North America because Saladin never settled there

20. Violent revolutions strangely disappear during a golden age.

21. How on earth can Britain have 3 government civics at the same time-hereditary rule, representation, and universal suffrage.

22. There are only 3 types of seafood clams, crabs, and fish.

23. You can never see horses until you know how to make pastures. Before that they are invisible.

24. If your city demands protection in the modern age, you can give them a guy with a club and they feel safe. They don't feel safe if they have a modern Helicopter strike force in the city. (The fact that Gunships don't count as military for protection always made me wonder)

25. The discovery of Scientific Method caused a decline in research because all the monks were put out of business and the Great Library burned down.

26. Once you launch a space ship, if the capital city (that had no part in building the space ship) is seized by an enemy, it explodes and vaporizes in space.

27. All Bin Laden would have really had to do to destroy the American economy was propose Environmentalism be the global civic at the U.N. When the U.S. representative would have said "NEVER" (at the behest of major corporations) all Americans would become instantly too angry to do any work for 20 years.

26. Modern spies can only be women, but great spies are always men (despite some female names like Belle Boyd).

27. Likewise, you think Rosalind Franklin was a man with a bow tie and Sojourner Truth had a beard.

28. Cites can have libraries, universities and academies, but no public schools.

(...public schools have a -40% effect on beaker output...)

Windsor said:

14. Slavery is the best thing in human history.

Click to expand...

29. Balancing the budget for a major empire is as easy as lowering the research slider.

30. Contemporary Global Warming is not caused by fossil fuels and greenhouse gas emissions, but rather by all the nuclear testing that went on during the mid-20th century.

Ataxerxes said:

23. You can never see horses until you know how to make pastures. Before that they are invisible.

Click to expand...

<Alternate theory>

31. The invisible horses are actually Unicorns. They lose their mythical status and become visible when pastures are discovered.

32. Silly young girls who actually believe in the sort of nonsense in number 31 make excellent Civ opponents in MP. They build nice shiny wonders and pretty cities that are just ripe for the taking, since their leader is such a dense, dreamy pushover.

(The other Mrs. "Merchant" feels that Civ needs more mythical things, like Unicorns and Faeries. I think she's saying it to bug me. Maybe I'll put a Unicorn head in our bed when I get home from work. )

LeHam said:

30. Contemporary Global Warming is not caused by fossil fuels and greenhouse gas emissions, but rather by all the nuclear testing that went on during the mid-20th century.

Click to expand...

...or simply the fact that we're late in the game and it's time for the random desert tile nukes to hit New York City.

Lemon Merchant said:

<Alternate theory>

31. The invisible horses are actually Unicorns. They lose their mythical status and become visible when pastures are discovered.

32. Silly young girls who actually believe in the sort of nonsense in number 31 make excellent Civ opponents in MP. They build nice shiny wonders and pretty cities that are just ripe for the taking, since their leader is such a dense, dreamy pushover.

Click to expand...

Ah, so you've met Hatshepsut too!

33. Cities are defended primarily by artists, musicians, priests, and librarians. If you sing a lot of songs and publish a lot of books, it makes your city defenses stronger.

33. Virgil walked around with a skull and wore tights, but never wore a toga.

34. Roosevelt would have still worn a suit if he lived in 3000 B.C. and Ramses II would still wear his headdress and false beard if he lived today.

35. A city can only eat food it grows within its radius,(aside from a few food resources) food cannot be transported across a country even with refrigeration.

36. You have to discover how to make a calendar before you can pick bananas.