6,050 Years in the Life of a Confused City-State

I won't explain to you where it comes from, but it basically means useless, dysfunctional, grubby and having a polluted river.

Click to expand...

Hey, at least the postal service is good.

But we don't have one, and also, all the different cultures are stabbing each other to death and being possessed by music with rocks in.

Update Friday

Please, listen to my feeble excuses!

I was actually about to do this twice. CFC went down the first time, and my internet went down the second time. I'll try and get an update out tomorrow*.

*Tomorrow (TM). Patent pending.

I now require a second feeble excuse

Although I heard you were in exams?

I think I'll send the patent for Tomorrow for Olaf again so it speeds up a bit.

I'm going to be in exams soon. So I have to study

I have plenty of time tomorrow, however, so hopefully I should be able to churn out an update. Maybe even two!

Seeing as how you are low on happiness, it probably makes sense to destroy all but 1 City of your opponents and then (after learning Feudalism) capitulate them (stay at war with them until you get Feudalism and have sufficiently larger Power than them).

Ideally, the City of theirs that you allow to survive will be near a Happiness Resource that you do not already own, but such that their City isn't in a great enough location for them to come back into the game by spamming settlers and breaking off the Master-Vassal relationship... something like a tundra City near a Fur (Happiness) Resource would be what I'm thinking of, but other Happiness Resources could work, too.

The idea is that you will get extra Happiness for each Vassal that you control and them you can get them to give you an extra Happiness Resource on top of that, allowing your City to grow further.

As we discussed previously, you'll want to keep all of your remaining Forests, both for the extra Health and for the future potential of putting Forest Preserves there coupled with the National Park for free Specialists.

The Happiness boost from having Vassals that give you Resources won't matter very much if you build yourself the Globe Theatre but until then, you'll be desperately wanting extra Happiness... to the point that if an AI offers a Happiness Resource in trade, you should be willing to trade your only source of a Healthiness Resource just to get it... but, for example, first you'll probably want to build a Road on your Corn Resources so that they can be traded away.

Yeah, I can see that happening with Tokugawa. Probably not Kublai, though, since all his land is good and most is tropical. The sort of place where I'd like a barbarian city or five to spring up.

275 AD. Tokugawa enters the palace with a fanfare accompaniment, carried on a litter by four slaves.



Tokugawa: Hah. You're not going to like this, "Olaf".
Olaf: That can wait. First: why the litter and the fanfare? You don't seem to be the sort of person who pursues the 'all-powerful leader, all-must-do-my-bidding' image.
Tokugawa: Well, I...
Olaf: In actual fact, you give more of the impression of a 'don't talk to me, I just want to sit in my throne room and not speak to, Open Borders or trade with anybody at all' type of...
Tokugawa: Gaaaah! That's not important!
Olaf: Well, go ahead then.
Tokugawa: (consults his notes) Konnichiwa, General Olaf-san. Hear my words: when you persuade yourself that imperfection and inconvenience are the natural lot of mortals, there will be no room for discontent, nor for despair. Now, here is an inconvenience to help you get started.
Olaf: Meaning?
Tokugawa: (consults his notes again) Gimme the knowledge of alphabets or die.
Olaf: Three things. First: why did you greet me then? I certainly didn't expect that from you, especially since your first words as you came in were "Hah, you're not going to like this".
Tokugawa: Didn't you know? Gandhi's the polite one who gets steamrolled. I'm the rude one who...
Olaf: Who what? And who's Gandhi?
Tokugawa: ...gets steamrolled. I just didn't want to say it. And I don't know who Gandhi is, I just have a feeling that he exists and he's a wimp.*
Olaf: Secondly, you still sound depressed.
Tokugawa: I guess so. But that's only two points.
Olaf: I wasn't finished. Thirdly:

No.
Tokugawa: No?
Olaf: No.
Tokugawa: Yes!
Olaf: No.
Tokugawa: Yes!
Olaf:No.
Tokugawa: Yes!
Olaf:No.
All advisors, who have been listening to the side: SHUT UP!
Tokugawa: Fine. You'll live to regret this, Olaf. You'll all live to regret this.
Olaf: That's really clichéd.
Tokugawa: Agh!

Tokugawa leaves, with another, angrier fanfare.

MoreEpicThanYou: (calling out the door after Tokugawa) Someone's get-ting tetchy...
(METY quails under the furious gaze of Olaf, Red Spy and Nwahs)
MoreEpicThanYou: Alright, alright...

*Author's note: I don't know if it's going to be more awkward if Gandhi turns up or if he doesn't.

quite nice Olaf, and trust me, I know what you are talking about when the internet goes down and the website crashes when I'm halfway through an update.

Nice

Thanks guys

General Olaf said:

All advisors

Click to expand...

That bit alone took almost three minutes

Update coming (hopefully) later today for all your reading pleasures

@SamSniped:

I'll be waiting for it Olaf , take your time if you need to with it.

350 AD. The usual morning meeting.

veBear: You'll never guess what just happened, Olaf!
Olaf: Please: not the guessing game again. I don't have another fifteen hours to spare. I'm a dictator, I have the concerns of my people to deal with.
[muffled sniggers from everyone else in the room]
Olaf: What? I don't see how that's funny. The people need somebody to stand up for them. If a dictator isn't there for his people, who will be?
Sparthage: Everybody else?
Yoshiegg: Rebels?
Olaf: Urrgh. Forget I said it. Anyway, Vebear, you were sying?
veBear: MoreEpicThanYou couldn't come to the meeting today, right?
Olaf: I know.
veBear: Did he say why? I thought not. He's busy overseeing the relocation of the army to our new barracks.
Olaf: That's great! I guess we need to name it, right?
Omega: Of course. Everything has a name in this city.
Ilduce: Like our treasury: "Gold, Wonderful Gold". That was you who named it, Olaf.
Inohotep: Go figure.
[Inohotep's comment is duly ignored by Olaf.]
veBear: MoreEpic had a few ideas, but he wanted to leave it up to the council to make the final decision.
Ilduce: How about Golden Axe Flats?
Sparthage: Axe Records?
Yoshi: The Sneaky Axe Building?
Trexeric: Pillager's Paradise?
Olaf: Actually, that kinda fits. Plus, it's not shamelessly self-promoting like... some... of the other names.
veBear: Pillager's Paradise it is, then! I'll let MoreEpic know.
Olaf: Also, tell him to start training new warriors in the building immediately.
veBear: Okay, but why?
Olaf: I have a hunch.



Choxorn: And we have a screenshot.*
NinjaCow: This is a lot of fun to watch. Thrilling stuff.
Choxorn: I agree. See? Tokugawa has fifty gold available to trade. That's awesome.

* Taken before I decided to build an Axeman, so the cursor was in the wrong spot.

Yay update!!