So you're in love with your best friend, Part Deux

Cheezy the Wiz

Cheezy the Wiz

Socialist In A Hurry
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Jul 18, 2005
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The first part of this SNAFU can be found here.

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=190579


I'm in love. This is not some little childish puppy love, this is deep, resounding joy simply because this woman is in my life and cares about me kinda love. This is "I want her to be happy even if it's not with me" love. So what's the problem? She doesn't like me that way. She's my best friend. She knows I love her, I've told her. We've talked about it many times. The problem is, even though I know she doesn't think about me that way, and that we'll most likely never be (and I could marry this girl like that *snaps fingers*), I can't stop loving her. I've tried dating other people, in the hope that I'll find something in them and they'll grow on me, and I'll get over her, and be able to have a best friend whilst not being constantly slapped in the proverbial face. But these girls I date bore me, I'm just not interested in them. There's simply no way that any girl could ever hope to measure up to her [my love]. Trying to figure out what to do gives me a tremendous headache.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking for here, I just need to get this out of me.
 
You'll get through it someway, somehow.

Don't fret.
 
Didn't you make this thread like two days ago? Or am I hallucinating?
 
I'm not sure what to say.

I know how you feel though.
I know exactly how you feel.
 
Hmm, hard to say.

As hard as it may be, respecting her feelings is the most important. Just continue to be there for her, to be a good friend, etc. Perhaps she'll come around. Indeed I hope she does. However, it seems you've done all you can do under the circumstances. Just continue to be you. Hang in there champ.

I too have a deep love for someone, who also is my best friend. The only way it diverges from your story is that it is mutual. I really do hope that things turn around for you, it is an amazing experience and I hope it never ends.

If not though, again just keep trucking. There will always be someone, or if you've already found the someone, there will be a way. Be you and be patient.
 
Dawgphood001 said:
You'll get through it someway, somehow.

Don't fret.
Click to expand...

"You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow."

Girl Put Your Records on! Man I'm good
 
Elrohir said:
Didn't you make this thread like two days ago? Or am I hallucinating?
Click to expand...

No, I posted this scene in the ranting thread, and decided it merited its own thread.

Nylan said:
Hmm, hard to say.

As hard as it may be, respecting her feelings is the most important. Just continue to be there for her, to be a good friend, etc. Perhaps she'll come around. Indeed I hope she does. However, it seems you've done all you can do under the circumstances. Just continue to be you. Hang in there champ.
Click to expand...
This is probably what I will wind up doing. She knows what kind of person I am, and more importantly, who I am. I want to make her happy, but more so, I want her to be happy. If for whatever reason I can't make that happen, I wouldn't want her to be with me, and not be happy, because I wouldn't be happy.

I really do hope that things turn around for you, it is an amazing experience.
Click to expand...
I've thought many times about what I would do, how I would react, if one day, she came up to me and said "I love you [Cheezy] and want you to mine forever," and I don't even know, I think I'd be so overcome with emotion I'd just cry from sheer joy, which, naturally, I hope ISN'T how I react.

If not though, again just keep trucking. There will always be someone, or if you've already found the someone, there will be a way. Be you and be patient.
Click to expand...

I hope you're right. I'd hate to wind up like the girl in "The Second Choice" by Theodore Driesner, if you've ever read that. Or the kid in "The Things they Carried" by Tim O'Brien, the one who sees his old girl years later after the war.
 
Cheezy the Wiz said:
No, I posted this scene in the ranting thread, and decided it merited its own thread.
Click to expand...
OK, good - I couldn't find the thread, and for a second there I thought I was going crazy, or developing precognitive abilities. :lol:

Seriously, though, you've been given good advice. Hang out, still be friends, and let her know that you still like her, and this isn't a passing thing. But don't push. If she's willing to continue to be your friend, in a strictly platonic manner despite your romantic affections, then that's good, keep it that way until/unless she develops feelings for you.
 
Cheezy the Wiz said:
I've thought many times about what I would do, how I would react, if one day, she came up to me and said "I love you [Cheezy] and want you to mine forever," and I don't even know, I think I'd be so overcome with emotion I'd just cry from sheer joy, which, naturally, I hope ISN'T how I react.
Click to expand...

I hope it is how you would react.

but i digress.
 
You shouldn't have made this thread - you are now going to inevitably bring the horrible trend of girl threads back.

With that said, my advice is to not listen to any advice here.
 
Catbackwards said:
I hope it is how you would react.
Click to expand...

Why is that? I'd feel very clingy, I guess that's the word. Which I never understood in the first place, what people's problem is with clingy people of the opposite sex, you'd think they'd admire their loyalty, but it's looked upon as being a bad attribute, that's why I'd hope I didn't act like that in front of her. Now in private, I'd let the flood gates out.
 
Sucks to be Cheezy. Not much can be said except that many many many people have been there too. Get out meet other people you'll find some one else to crush on. Who knows she come around evebtualy but dont hamstring your self.
 
Cheezy the Wiz said:
Why is that? I'd feel very clingy, I guess that's the word. Which I never understood in the first place, what people's problem is with clingy people of the opposite sex, you'd think they'd admire their loyalty, but it's looked upon as being a bad attribute, that's why I'd hope I didn't act like that in front of her. Now in private, I'd let the flood gates out.
Click to expand...

There is a difference between what I am trying to say and what you describe as clingy. Clingy is a bad thing though. It's a sign of immaturity and that you love for her isn't exactly what one would consider to be a mature love. But that is my personal opinion.
 
Cat knows what she's talking about

Girls dig when guys show they care. It's not necessarily clingy. Clingy=bad

showing the extent of your love=good
 
Catbackwards said:
There is a difference between what I am trying to say and what you describe as clingy. Clingy is a bad thing though.
Click to expand...
It's a sign of immaturity and that you love for her isn't exactly what one would consider to be a mature love. But that is my personal opinion.
Click to expand...
I don't understand. What is "mature" love then, if it's not loving someone for who they are?

Nylan said:
Cat knows what she's talking about

Girls dig when guys show they care. It's not necessarily clingy. Clingy=bad

showing the extent of your love=good
Click to expand...

Okay, I'll stop repressing my emotions then. :D
 
It's all about balance. You can have control, but still react emotinally in given situations. I can't give examples, you'll just know when the time comes. Crying out of sheer joy in some contexts can be very badly timed, but in others (like a deep, true love that you have described) it can mean the world to a girl, even if you've done everything not to break down.

I know firsthand on this one ;)
 
Nylan said:
It's all about balance. You can have control, but still react emotinally in given situations. I can't give examples, you'll just know when the time comes. Crying out of sheer joy in some contexts can be very badly timed, but in others (like a deep, true love that you have described) it can mean the world to a girl, even if you've done everything not to break down.

I know firsthand on this one ;)
Click to expand...

Exactly! :)
 
Drop it like it's hot.
Love is just a chemical illusion man!
 
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