The lamest jokes you can think of....... II
- Thread starter Bobbtjoe
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Veritass
Emperor
If your mom has a C-section, is that a womb with a view?
Q. What do you call a cow that has a abortion?
A. De-calf-inated.
Q. What do you call a cow that has a abortion?
A. De-calf-inated.
That is both great and terrible, simultaneously!
mayor
Heart & Mind
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
KaiserElectric
Total Freakin Besties
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- Dec 2, 2007
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- 3,461
A generous elephant would be benelephant.
But if the elephant got into a bad situation, I'd say it would be an ill event.
But if the elephant got into a bad situation, I'd say it would be an ill event.
mayor
Heart & Mind
These are just terrible
neeh, just very, very lame
Welcome to the thread, Cardgame.
what? I don't get a welcome
KaiserElectric
Total Freakin Besties
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- Dec 2, 2007
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- 3,461
These are just terrible
I can go all night.
Smellincoffee
Trekkie At Large
That's what she said!
Er..I mean..he?
Um.
So there's this little English village whose name is unimportant, and in the center of a village is the parish church. The vicar has a sign out advertising the need for a bell-ringer, and one day while he's eating lunch he's approached by a man with no arms. The armless man says that he'd like to apply for the job of bell-ringer, which strikes the vicar as a bit problematic, to say the least. He tries to discourage the man, but the fellow insists, and so they climb the steps into the bell-tower. The vicar is astonished to see his guest run straight toward the bell and COLLIDE with it -- and then astonished again, to realize that the sound of this guy running headlong onto the bell has produced the loveliest sound. "Could you do that again?" he asks. The armless man kicks himself up, goes to the entrance, and runs toward the bell again -- but he's so disoriented that he misses the bell and runs straight past it, falling out of the tower and landing with a smack in the village square. He's...well, dead. And not a pretty sight from the rough landing. The vicar is horrified and runs downstairs, where he sees a crowd gathered. They ask him who the man is, and he shrugs, and says --
-- "I don't know; but his face rings a bell."
Optical
The Fall of the Eleventh
I'm ashamed to say I chuckled at that last one.
mayor
Heart & Mind
nothing to be ashamed of... even while I already know them I can't read this page without surpressing a big smile
Mise
isle of lucy
Ebay is too hard to use. I searched for lighters but all I got was 71,924 matches.
Whiskey_Lord
Deity
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
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- 2,163
I finally got an e-mail response from YHWH on why he doesn't answer prayers. It seems he's too busy playing Skyrim, because the only thing he said was "I used to number the hairs on people's heads, until I took a sparrow to the knee."
Ziggy Stardust
Absolutely Sane
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Get out! We don't want your type in here".
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain,they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds,"But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain,they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds,"But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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