1000 Clues You Play Civilization V Too Much.

Darth Caesar

Might be a Wizard
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May 6, 2010
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It has arrived

1.You fret that no one will post on this thread because they are too busy playing Civ V.
2. Your mad about hexagons.
3. You play previous civs and wonder why the leaders arent talking.
4. You scream from Mt. Everest how awsome this game is.
V. You insist that everyone still replace 5 with V.
 
6. You say that you play civilization V too much before it has come out.
7. You try to finish all your homework for the rest of the week so you can play non-stop.
8. You've learned a new language just from civ 5 diplomacy.
9. When playing risk, you get angry when someone has more than 1 unit in a territory.
10. You end this post so you can finish #7
 
12. You are offended by people who do not use V for CiV.

But then it becomes easily confused with simply saying 'civ' rather than, CiV! The same problem happened with CIV, and by CIV, i mean, Civ4. Do you see where i'm going here? Civ5 seems much more clear. Afterall, we ditched Roman numerals for a reason.
 
14. You wonder why no one's researching Bronze Working when playing Settlers of Catan.
15. You scoff at beehives because they're unworkable desert.
16. On the third date, you get to have hex.
 
18. You forget that taking turns in real life doesn't mean taking simultaneous turns. Hence why you get beaten up at the urinal.
19. The DSM-IV-TR lists your name and picture underneath Personality Disorders, along with the title, "Rating: Dan Quayle".
20. You're always most at peace when staring down, especially at a world map.
 
13. Instead of getting a new coke from the fridge, you simply try to drink the condensed water on the side, so you don't waste a second.
14. You replace all your verbs with civilization
15. Instead of breaking up with your girlfriend, you say: "Your head would look good on the end of a pole"
16. You create a machine that disorts time and space, so you can play ad infinitum
17. You paint hexagons on the floor, and say to all your relatives, that they only have two movement points, while you have five.
18. You create your own Giant Death Robot, which leads to a coup d'état on your current government. Then you plot for world domination, but RL Montezuma (yup, he's alive) is a headache, so instead you'll just return to play CIV V, silently plotting...
 
19- You forget about all the tradition that Civ had build in the 4 other games,that is not present in this one
 
28. You tell your family not to wake you up until ciV comes.
 
29. You think foreplay is a metaphor for exploring the map looking for Ancient Ruins (goody huts used to work better for this metaphor) and Natural Wonders and vice versa.
 
(Some of this stuff actually happens to me, actually... most of it does.)

30. You mark off your property with a large amount of paint, you won't
let anyone in unless they sign an open boarder treaty with you.

31. You use one pencil for an entire paper insisting that you only
have afew pencil resources and you must save them incase
of a declaration of war.

32. Stand around the CIA building stating that you have to save up
espionage points so that the russians can boost research levels.

33. You deny existence of all civs outside of the 18 ones included.
If anyone mentions any others you fall on the floor screaming
"It is a LIE I TELL YOU ALL A LIE"

34. When people ask what time it is you answer it as follows:
"It's Year 12 turn 57"
 
35. You scoff at the inaccuracy of 300; how could the Perisans have fit close to one million troops in that little hexes?
 
36. You NEED to be the one who starts to "1000 clues" topic, so you start it before the game in question is released.
 
37. When other people talk about videogames, you ask, "Where is that mod?"
38. Just in case, you always keep an extra copy of Civ in the bathroom.
39. You have little else to do but write stupid lines like "Your words are backed with nuclear weapons. Mine are supported by pretzels and a smile."
40. On Skype, you keep waiting for the diplomatic options to appear on the video screen.
41. You justify your time with the wife by calling her an "expansion game mechanic."
42. You buy food and never eat it. Resources must be preserved!
43. You buy food and always eat it on the spot. Your neighbors must be at Combustion by now.
44. You fear the year 2050 more than death.
45. When you make fun of people who play Farmville, they always return a smug look that makes you uncomfortable.
 
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