The NESer Paradox Games Thread

I recently got a computer that runs every paradox game just fine for $600.

Edit: That's in America, of course. Not sure about where you're from, Golden1Knight (I think it might be Brazil?).

Arrow Gamer said:

I recently got a computer that runs every paradox game just fine for $600.

Edit: That's in America, of course. Not sure about where you're from, Golden1Knight (I think it might be Brazil?).

Click to expand...

Correct. Here everything is expensive, a next-generation video game can cost up to R$4,000. You do not wanna know how much I paid for CK2.

I think I'll go to your country just to buy a PC.

About EU4, I played the demo and I thought it a bit confusing. Sounds more complicated than CK2.

How do so many Brazilians manage to play Dota 2 then? It has comparable specs.

Golden1Knight said:

Correct. Here everything is expensive, a next-generation video game can cost up to R$4,000. You do not wanna know how much I paid for CK2.

I think I'll go to your country just to buy a PC.

About EU4, I played the demo and I thought it a bit confusing. Sounds more complicated than CK2.

Click to expand...

I'm sorry for phrasing the question like this, but isn't the price because of ******ed corruption basically

Lord_Iggy said:

How do so many Brazilians manage to play Dota 2 then? It has comparable specs.

Click to expand...

I think Dota 2 is much, much less resource intensive than Paradox games.

Lord_Iggy said:

How do so many Brazilians manage to play Dota 2 then? It has comparable specs.

Click to expand...

Because kindhearted people gibe moni thx, obviously.

Angst said:

I'm sorry for phrasing the question like this, but isn't the price because of ******ed corruption basically

Click to expand...

No. The majority of the cost differential comes from taxes applied to imported electronics. These accounted for something like 60% of the cost of the PS4 (R$3999).

thomas.berubeg said:

Yeah, I only just got myself a job. I AM saving up, but...

Click to expand...

Never underestimate your earning potential by doing small jobs for people under the table.

@Masada, recently a lawyer gathered all the tax laws of Brazil in one book. It took two decades to complete. The book weighs tons, and is two meters tall.
The vast majority of Brazilians accept these high prices and buy anyway. And that's exactly why prices remain high.

@Perfectionist, damn br's

@Angst, corruption has its share, but Masada is right, taxes are the biggest villains. I do not know if you ever knew, but last year there were serious protests here, mostly against corruption. Maybe they will occur again, and precisely during the World Cup.

It's amusing coming from here, where taxes are (even if they are pretty high) kind of a positive thing, seeing as they go to supporting the poor etc. Contrary to the US where they are near universally hated as if devils.

Golden1Knight said:

@Masada, recently a lawyer gathered all the tax laws of Brazil in one book. It took two decades to complete. The book weighs tons, and is two meters tall.
The vast majority of Brazilians accept these high prices and buy anyway. And that's exactly why prices remain high.

@Perfectionist, damn br's

@Angst, corruption has its share, but Masada is right, taxes are the biggest villains. I do not know if you ever knew, but last year there were serious protests here, mostly against corruption. Maybe they will occur again, and precisely during the World Cup.

Click to expand...

Abolish taxes.

Angst said:

It's amusing coming from here, where taxes are (even if they are pretty high) kind of a positive thing, seeing as they go to supporting the poor etc. Contrary to the US where they are near universally hated as if devils.

Click to expand...

90k Danish peasant rebels spawn in Copenhagen.

Golden1Knight said:

@Masada, recently a lawyer gathered all the tax laws of Brazil in one book. It took two decades to complete. The book weighs tons, and is two meters tall.

Click to expand...

That's not exceptional. The legislation and regulations for income tax in Australia fill three thick volumes. (I'd estimate that it would have to be about half a meter tall). That's not even including the decisions made by the ATO and court that also inform how income tax is applied. And that's for a single tax. On top of that we have taxes for superannuation, corporate taxes, the GST and so forth. The latter two of which are probably as complicated as income tax.

What a hilarious and awful derail you've gotten us into.

Let's refocus with a CK2 AAR That Thlayli Totally Isn't Wasting Update Time To Do, Seriously Let Me Have This Dammit. Or CK2AARTTTIWUTTDSLMHTD, for short.

Regnum Normanorum - Thlayli CK2/EU4 AAR

I am going to play an Ironman game of CK2, translating it (if I survive) into EU4 afterwards. The main goal: Norman supremacy over the Mediterranean and the Near East. I will be role-playing this through adopting traditionally Norman attitudes of religious tolerance, and by granting my successor states independence under cadet branches where possible.

Chapter 1 - The Wages of Sin

[Alternate Title: You Know Nothing, Jordan de Hauteville.]

I am Count Roger of Reggio, a Norman warlord from an ambitious and fractious family. We have swept the effete Greeks and the barbaric Arabs clean from this land, and Norman Latins now reign as this land's natural masters. I am of course loyal to my older brother Robert, the Duke of Apulia, but that loyalty has its limits. My military efforts have already gained our dynasty a foothold in Muslim Sicily. I have bided my time, but now my older brother marches in force to capture Girgenti for his own. To be a younger brother perpetually overshadowed is my curse and my fear; if I can, I will take Girgenti before his armies arrive.



Sadly, I am unsuccessful in preventing my brother from stealing the glory that ought to be mine, his men riding in and taking command of the siege from right under my commanders' noses. I legitimize my bastard, Jordan, as an attempt to show the remainder of the family what I care for them. Women and priests will crow about celibacy and faithfulness, but a man will go whither he may. Jordan will inherit my lands.

Contemplating my failure in Sicily, I decide to take more drastic action. I am a loyal Christian and a son of the Holy Church, but the followers of Mahound and the Jews are not without guile and cunning. If we do not learn from them...make use of them, then how are we to repel their advances?

I am not a usurer, but if I must participate in usury to win greater glory...so be it. With the Jewish money, mercenaries are hired, and Siracusa is starved into submission after we win a glorious battle. The ancient city of Archimedes is now mine...and the Emir himself has fled to Africa in disgrace, or so they say. That I am not overly proud of my conquests, I grant the city to Jordan, that he may learn to reign before he inherits my greater dominion.

Perhaps he died of humiliation, or simply a bad belly as it is claimed. But my brother Robert is now dead. Apulia is divided between his two boys, and I swiftly bend the knee to my young nephew Roger, now styled Duke of Calabria. Though I could easily overthrow him, I would prefer a helpless child for a ruler while I lay greater plans. Power lies not in titled words, but in deeds.

Some of my other siblings are less wise. My other nephew Richard has raised a band of adventurers to seize Apulia from his young half brother Bohemond, who is himself also my nephew. What a loving family we are. I must say I admire his ambition, but patientia will win out. I will be a duke, and my son will be a king.



I am Roger de Hauteville, and the chroniclers will remember my name.

Personally, I have a goal now for something completely random for Crusader Kings 2. I want the Dwarf Fortress badge. You get it for having 7 Dwarves in your court.

Reverse Bene Gesserit program go!

OOC: This is what it's like to be a character with 1 diplomacy.

Chapter 2 - My Lady's Eyes Are Nothing Like The Sun


What for!

Cower in fear, you wretched fools, for you face the terrible might of Jordan the Red! Red was my father's blood when he conceived me in the heat of passion, and red is my hair that drives the Moor to terrible flight. I have instructed my subjects to address me as Prince, for I am indeed to inherit a kingdom, from MYSELF. Brilliant, yes, I am aware. My father for all his martial prowess was over-gentle with his relations, and I have no love for my boy-cousin Roger. I have seized my independence, and the "duke's" regents cower in Cathacem daring not challenge me.

And furthermore I am a Prince for I have married the most beautiful princess in all of Latin Christendom, Emma Capet. All of our surely numerous children shall be born of noble blood, not of bastardy. As of yet, we have one precious girl, but MANY sons shall surely follow! Already I have prepared my coronation. But I require a suitable victory to confirm this GLORIOUS new era. Malta, I have chosen as the site of my crowning triumph. It is but a shade of what is to come, for as I reign now as Prince of Malta, I shall soon reign as King of Sicily! Ahahahahah!

Hah. Wait, what are you doing here? Guards...guards!

---



Herein lies the chronicle of Emma Capet, Princess of France and of Sicily, and regent of my daughter's domains. The sight of my husband's mangled corpse was truly unfortunate to behold. He was a beautiful, strong man of many virtues, but foresight was not among them, I fear. All of my late husband's councilors despised him, both for his boldness and his strength, I am sure. For his part, my dear Jordan did not do much to win over the landholders, and for that, his life was taken.

Our daughter now holds, ever so tenuously, my husband's lands. I have acted immediately to secure her reign, disbursing much of my husband's treasury to the bishops of the land to win the allies in the Church that dear Jordan so scorned. My husband, in his less than infinite wisdom, granted Trapani to his old friend William, who quickly declared himself a count independent of our court in Syracusa. I have acted to remedy this situation, as well. Duke Roger's councilors sought to stop me, of course, but my eye is discerning, and loyal soldiers were found to force the issue. William of Trapani now bows to me.

I have been confronted with the specter of a band of Sicelot peasants terrorizing the countryside, but my exhortations and benefices have born fruit: The Norman gentry came at my call, and the peasants were routed. So too was a rebellion of heathens on the isle of Malta my husband conquered. The peasant leader I had killed as an example to his fellows, but the follower of Mahound I spared, after he accepted the teachings of Jesus Christ. I believe these lessons to be instructive upon my daughter's subjects.

Following these triumphs I sent my daughter's soldiers north, to uphold the reign of our Apulian neighbors. Young Bohemond de Hauteville, so recently a man, is himself dead, and his infant daughter now reigns. What curse stalks the men of this dynasty? As they are now beset by Capuans and other such filth, I believe it is best to defend Norman and Frankish rights against foolish Italiots. And I am sympathetic to the young girl who rules, so like my daughter.

The Archbishop of Syracuse has agreed at my insistence to declare my young daughter the Duchess of Sicily, elevating her title above the other lords of the land, as is necessary for her security. I shall continue to safeguard her interests with my life, and I have taken to educating her myself, so that under my constant care and protection, she might avoid my husband's fate.

Chapter 3 - O Virga Mediatrix

The Saracens have risen. One of their priests leads them, a man who they say is of the line of Mahound himself. They are at the gates of Syracuse now; the castle of Taormina they took through treachery. I was kind enough to give succor to these people, despite their idolatry...this is not a mistake I will repeat, if we survive. Seeing their brothers in arms at the walls of our city, the Emir of Cyrenaica now sees his chance to claim Sikelia for his own.

I shall take little Berengaria and flee by ship. We shall await the aid of our Norman cousins at Palermo, which lies outside the rebels' hands. For I aided the Duchess of Apulia against the Lombards and the Greeks; surely she will not forget this. There I shall gather an army, and ride at its head if I must, to drive these wretches from our island.

The people of Syracuse weep and tear their hair in the streets at our departure. But I shall return.



I awoke in the grey light of the first hour of morning to see my mother and several servants in my room. I brushed the specks of angel dust from my eyes and stared at her. "Come, child," she said to me. "We are going on a voyage."

"But it is so early," I complained. "The sun is not even awake."

I am too well-bred to long resist my mother's will when it is expressed so strongly, and Maud and Ermesinde began to pull me out of bed and dress me, despite my protestations. The servants movements reminded me of when my horse had taken fright. My mother has raised me not to be afraid, and not to show fear, so that I might be as strong as a man.

But in that moment, I did feel fear.

"Mother...what is it?"

"War."

---

It was at Regio that the Norman armies finally met those of the Saracen, for there they had fled after the men of William of Trapani had recaptured the citadel of Syracuse from their grasp. Though it had been the tradition of the Princess Emma to await the outcome of the battle in a tent just beside the battlefield, her daughter Berengaria, still but a girl, took horse and encouraged the men. Though her councilors begged her to remain in safety with her mother, she tossed her head proudly and replied to them, "I would watch those who would die for me, and rebuke those who would challenge me."

And all were astounded by this from but a young girl not yet of age. Though the Saracens held the high ground, it is said that the men believed the Duchess was sent by the Virgin herself to protect them, and it was without fear that they cut through the idolaters like peasants scything the autumn wheat. It was after this great victory that the Saracens took to calling Berengaria 'the Lioness,' for her fearlessness in sight of the foe, and this name spread among the soldiers and the people of the land as well. Duchess Berengaria has become much beloved even among her enemies.

-Roger of Messina

....sigh.....

I'm really enjoying reading these Thlayli.

I, for one, can't figure out how to even manage a small duchy without alienating everyone and getting my children to try murdering me.