1000 ways you know you played Alpha Centauri too much!

556. You're fed up with having a normal bedroom and decide to restyle it a lá command nexus

557. You don't freak out when you see the other factions with a unity scout copter before you even have fossil fuels.

558. Try to include a SMAC quote in your personal statement.

559. Get angry when you're told to take it out.

560. You hyperventilate when you see articles in Popular Science about biocomputers, Silksteel, Clean Reactors, and frictionless materials. (Guilty!)

561. You wonder that why everyone isn't SMAC's fan already despite it is a awesome game (even I start playing when it is 13 years old already)

562. You will worship anyone who remake this game and make it as great as SMAC/SMAX is.

563. While you are thinking about writing a novel, You also thinking about adding SMAC leader and make them appear in your novel

564. You start thinking that your mathematic teacher are probably (actually, certainly) grandmother of Colonel Santiago.

(I am guilty in all )

565: You want to become mind-machine interface cyborg
567: Take revange on Your enemies !! |(while in the cyborg mode)
568: You have all the launch codes for those puny human defense "network"
(Can nuke the entire U.N in alphabetical orger)
568: You think that "humans" are obsoleted
567: You are totally Skynet - eliminate organics ! ^^ xD ..............

569: When a shampoo bottle says, "Recyclable where facilities exist," you think about bases that have built recycling tanks, and imagine it being tossed into the tanks.

570: You jump into the recycling bin outside Your doors shouting that "It is every citizen final duty to go into the tanks !"

edit: +111 to all "you must be playing too much" index values.

571. You want to become leader of your country, and throw revolutions chartered about other nations politics before meeting with them to discuss international politics, right before switching back to free market (etal), because that's best diplomacy.

572. Once leader, you want to round up all the psychics so they can study fungus and improve fungus studies.

573. You get freaked out roaming the country side when you see cottages and small houses about, no unity pods, because you might have been sucked into the alternate universe of civilization.

574. You're especially careful not to get in fights in high population density areas because they might have belief.

575. You paint your face red for 1/5th of the university classes you attend.

576. You decide against working for any large corporations because you're pretty sure that way you can later sub a clean reactor for something useful.

578. You put pamphlets all over your town that it will be great for commerce to drill to the aquifer in the parking lot in front of town hall.

579. Whenever you go to the movie theaters, you have to shout at least once, "In the darkness, something goes >pop<!"

580. You hire detectives and put out personals everywhere looking for "Ace the Cyborg".

581. When your homework is too hard, you leave it on your desk and go out looking for unity pods.

582. You think that conditions are ripe for cornering the global energy market because you can't find any "recreation commons" or "network nodes" in the phone book.

583. You don't believe in norton antivirus protection because once your datalinks are infiltrated it's for life.

584. You've lost friends over discussions to raise or lower atrocity bans.

585. When the waiter presents you your bill in an expensive restaurant, you put a bunch of batteries on the table and tell him to keep the change.

474. On extended trips into the country you always take your flame unit with you incase of worms.

587. Because your friends didn't have flame units, you gave them some.

588. You're totally lazy because you never see announcements of secret projects in the newspapers.

589. Facing critical work crunch-time, you scrap your car and anything else substantial in your garage because it will boost production.

590. If you're a scientist and you live in a small town and you complete the human genome project, you scrap all the recreation commons because it's inefficient.

591. You want everyone to live in large cities to save on hologram theater maintenance.

592. You lobby government to get rid of governors completely because they're inefficient.

593. When someone in the next stall groans and asks you to hand them some toilet paper over the door, you say you'll do it, but they must swear a pact to serve you.

594. After you saw your first brownout, you went to your back yard and started digging and have been at it ever since.

595. You think you should be paid for playing alpha centauri.

596. Five years later you're holding a sign "will work for alpha centauri network node access".

597. The world must be poor because the only shields you've ever seen were in museums and theme fairs.

__________
edit history:
575. frequency of face painting changed from 1/4 to 1/5. oops.
__________

598. You see kids at daycare and think, "Wow, if they join the army, they will be moved up to sargeant for their experience bonus!"

599. You buy a plasma ball, mount it on a firecracker, and name it, "The planet buster."

600. You try it on an empty lot (it just explodes like a regular firework).

601. You flee to the moon because youre sure that all the worlds nations are angry at you.

602. You then try mounting a mushroom to a rocket to make a fungal missile.

603. You see kids at daycare down the block and immediately feel waves of calm in place of anxieties you had that there might be anthrax missile complexes in your area, and further the daycare facility gives you reassurance that the time is now right to start up your own anthrax missile complex from your basement, to eventually work your way up to the well lit corner venue off the nearest commercial street.
(edit: this is a joke on "children's creche", which functions in the game the same way as the daycare above described)

604. After trying out the planet buster firecracker, you go back to the imports shop you got it from asking if the seller can confirm it was a fission firecracker. (edit: I don't know wtf lol)

605. You promise yourself to spend one fourth of your time searching for reports of fusion firecrackers.

606. It occurs to you another reason orbital hydroponics are better is that irrigation is more energy efficient in lower gravity conditions.

607. You prepend planet buster strikes with target-perimeter fungal payloads as the final say against star wars, orbital defense, anti-missile flechette defense systems.
(edit: mind that P.Busters have an area of effect. If you target cities and such directly, their defenses can intervene. However, you can target fungal payloads anywhere, including base adjacent squares. Fungal payloads create "neutral enemies" that can be targeted by your P.Busters, and in the case of the base adjacent bombing, they create for you a neutral enemy right next to the base, which you bust, which creates an area of effect that swallows the target city. None of this population reduced to 1 nonsense. All you get is elevation reduction, cleared terrain, possibly to reduction below sea-level (submerged square), and there is no longer any base there. You might argue that doing such has ecological impact and may cause mindworm uprisings across the globe, however this can be okay, as in some cases you are no longer required to plant your own mindworms next to enemy planet buster targets in order to bust them thusly.)

Matt the Czar said:

598. You see kids at daycare and think, "Wow, if they join the army, they will be moved up to sargeant for their experience bonus!"

599. You buy a plasma ball, mount it on a firecracker, and name it, "The planet buster."

600. You try it on an empty lot (it just explodes like a regular firework).

601. You flee to the moon because youre sure that all the worlds nations are angry at you.

602. You then try mounting a mushroom to a rocket to make a fungal missile.

Click to expand...

603) Every time you say "Don't go..." You feel the need to follow it with "The Drones need you, they look up to you."

I've gotten so many odd looks from that one...

604) You have a vigorous debate about weather the Alpha Centuari novels captured the spirit of the far superior Alpha Centauri backstory.

605: If they say it does, you shove them into your very own Xenoempathy Dome:

606. (burn out: ) You decide to relocate a major base; instead of ferrying out colonists with chain colony pod projects, you think you'll build the pods in other bases, having those c. pods "set home city" the relocation HQ.

607. (j/k: ) Because it works so well in the games, you want to move major cities to Utah Mountains (uranium flats), leaving behind mining facilities and infrastructure (supply crawlers) around the areas where the cities used to be. (spoiler: energy boosts from uranium flats give optimal returns when harvested by city workers direct, not from supply crawlers)

608. You realize that 7 YEARS AGO you made a mistake on one of your posts, and you go back, edit it, and then post about it.

609: you spend 2 hours reading this thread found whilst looking for multiplayer options.
610: you also join the forum to join the thread.
611: you've taken the sound effects and used them as your PC's sounds. ("Please don't go, the drones need you..")
612: you have learned more tonight reading about worms than in the rest of your life.
613: you want to tell everyone that "mind worms" came from Frank Herbert's 'Destination: Void' series of books.
614: and so did sentient kelp. http://io9.com/5980198/5-essential-frank-herbert-novels-that-arent-about-dune
615: only another 365 reasons to go.
616: you realise, sitting there, that you have wasted 100s of thousands of hours not playing SMAC, but only 10,000+ in useful gameplay, and feel saddened.
617: you have had actual LOLS from reading some of previous reasons.
618: despite it being 5am, you seriously consider starting a new huge game, but would really like to play multiplayer instead.
619: you wonder why there is no SMAC2, when there are so many new ideas that could be put in it.
620: like formers programmable to only plant forests.
621: and having regions rebel so when you've won, you have to start worrying again.
622: you forgot what this one was, due to lack of polymorphic software.
623: because if there were ever a Mars colonisation spaceship, you would vote to make it called "The Unity".
624: and bunk-up with the beautiful Greenie leader called "Dierdre", to get on the mission.
625: and bio-engineer trees to attack worms, in a pre-strike theory.
626: and you think the A-Team's ability to turn an electric milk-float into a battle-tank is just the beginning...

627: Youre still snorting SMAC in 2014.

I mean, snorting.

628. You didn't play any kind of computer game in a decade or more. You discover old laptop and fire it up "to see if it works". You notice that Alpha Centauri is loaded. You open it up.
629. You don't notice but mysteriously a week goes by. Must be some kind of dimensional gate.
630. You download Alien Crossfire from the internet, since you never actually played it, "just to see how it is".
631. But you think that all the expansion factions are too overpowered and imbalanced and the new techs are all too wonky to get used to so you just keep playing classic.
632. You find this thread and try to register on forum to add some reasons. However it turns out you actually have an account already from a decade or more ago.
633. As you close your bleary eyes far too late yet another night, you mutter, "it is every citizens final duty to go into the tanks...and to become one...with all... the people..."

634: While all the other forums at another site were being overun by a spambot, you religiously sit there for hours deleting every spambot thread in all of the SMACX subforums:


635: you went to Firaxicon to get your SMACX manual signed by Sid:


636: you've still got the Firaxis poll results from 2008 when they asked what the public wanted them to create next:


637: 18 years on and your still designing scenarios for SMACX.