PerfNES I: Ultima Ratio Regum

Great update! Only one question: When raising soldiers, do they become available for battle immediately? Also, going by my rather large treasury and surplus dead soldiers don't draw pay from the turn and neither do levies, but do newly recruited soldiers do so?

Also, 10k+ soldiers is 80%+ of what I expected from Volynia. 40 companies is a massive investment on their part.
 
Nice update. Now if only someone would actually take Bengal. :p
 
Great update! and supremely quick too. :)

Apparently I have 1 prestige now. It's very nice but I don't know where it came from. :p Also, I banked a load of money but it hasn't turned up in my treasury. Also, Edith should now be married in my stats.
 
Confirming that I am taking over the Longhport League.

From Machorsehockyrig of Lax Hlaup, Marshal of the League
To the region of Scandinavia known as Sweden


These recent events are intolerable. Provoke the League any further, and I can guarantee the response will not be to your liking.

From Machorsehockyrig of Lax Hlaup, Marshal of the League
To King Ygo of Frisia


The Marshal considers it his duty to inform you of the actions of your second son. Gathering up a tiny trading fleet and a couple of small warships, he decided to land an expedition to the south. After aimlessly sailing around the ports of our good friends in Liyun and Isbunah, his lack of experience led them to run into a large corsair fleet. Fortunately, your son and most of his squadron survived.

First of all, rest assured that League merchants are still managing trade between your kingdom and the south as well as it can possibly be managed. They have on their side decades of experience, something the Frisians clearly do not possess. It would personally pain me to see any other Frisian adventurers sailing south, only to be ambushed by corsairs.

On a personal note, please do not reprimand your son too harshly. He is after all merely a youth who has yet to learn the ways of the world.

From Machorsehockyrig of Lax Hlaup, Marshal of the League
To Aimeric, Prince of Sicily


With to the recent outbreak of violence around the coasts of Iberia, my thoughts dwell on the safety of League merchants. Our people can avoid Muwahhidun corsairs on their own, but I fear that due to the tensions of war the Sicilian admirals may mistake League ships for those of your enemy. I would be far more at ease if you were to remind the admirals of the presence, and neutrality, of merchant fleets.

OOC:

Please PM me (or neschat, or such) any diplomacy masada may have done with you.

@Perf: I'm assuming Leixlip is one of the small ones, and thus a good place to have the Marshal be from, no?


Edit: Replaced names with more appropriate ones. Thank Thlayli.
 
Asnaf Sagad, made King of Kings by the Grace of God Almighty
To Zabid[1], at present Sultan of Robbers, Heretics, and certain tribes of uncivilized barbarians


Such a greeting thou hast merited, and indeed many more such, on account of thy recent disturbances. Now in former times we would not have said thusly, for thou hast promoted peace between thyself and us, between thy house and ours. And thus we grew in mutual beneficence and prosperity, merchants growing under our gaze as the morning flower lifts up its face in gratitude to the overarching sun. But alas, insanity has spread among thy people as a disease, striking both young and old, rich and poor, reaching even unto thine exalted throne. For to what else are we to attribute thy recent actions if not unto that disease of kings, which first struck Saul, and also Nebuchadnezzar, and many other majestic figures besides? For what profit dost thou gain to strike at a friend when thine enemies beset you on all sides? Or dost thou wish to outperform Satan, he who made an enemy out of all of heaven, by thyself making an enemy not only out of heaven but all of earth as well?

But in our graciousness, we give thee an opportunity to make amends for thy folly. For all princes should strive to follow the Prince of Peace, being slow to anger and quick to forgive. Thus if thou showest the proper contrition, making restitution of 100,000 taris for the evils thou hast committed, we will forgive thee of thy sins, embracing thee as a brother, even as we had been wont to do before. But if thou continues to whore thyself out to evil, embracing it for the gain of a few coins of silver, then we shall come, both us and our allies, indeed even all those who love the Good, and chastise thee, even as a loving father punishes his wayward child.


[1] Feel free to replace with the personal name, which while unknown to me is certainly not unknown to Asnaf Sagad.
 
Great update! Only one question: When raising soldiers, do they become available for battle immediately? Also, going by my rather large treasury and surplus dead soldiers don't draw pay from the turn and neither do levies, but do newly recruited soldiers do so?

Also, 10k+ soldiers is 80%+ of what I expected from Volynia. 40 companies is a massive investment on their part.

I mirror this question again from my own comments: I thought mobilization was a slow process, and gave it a year for it to come to fruitation and for the levies to get some training with the extra logistic money, as you said.
 
I can really only remember a few NESes ever updating with any punctuality, so kudos on that too as everyone is saying!
 
Lovely. Great diplo, Qoou, but keep in mind, your nomenclature should be more on the Nordic than on the Irish side.

From: Aimeric II, Prince of Sicily
To: Marshal of the Longphort League


We apologize for the disturbance the corsairs have been causing to your traders. Truly they are the scum of the earth. Once they are removed, we shall establish a just and efficient administration of the straits. All relevant import duties and tariffs shall there be remanded in addition to a portage fee. Of course, while in the Mediterranean your traders will have every protection that we might offer, pending their prompt adherence to Sicilian maritime and commercial law.
 
From Ádhamhnán of Tulach Mhór, Marshal of the League
To King Ygo of Frisia


The Marshal considers it his duty to inform you of the actions of your second son. Gathering up a tiny trading fleet and a couple of small warships, he decided to land an expedition to the south. After aimlessly sailing around the ports of our good friends in Liyun and Isbunah, his lack of experience led them to run into a large corsair fleet. Fortunately, your son and most of his squadron survived.

First of all, rest assured that League merchants are still managing trade between your kingdom and the south as well as it can possibly be managed. They have on their side decades of experience, something the Frisians clearly do not possess. It would personally pain me to see any other Frisian adventurers sailing south, only to be ambushed by corsairs.

On a personal note, please do not reprimand your son too harshly. He is after all merely a youth who has yet to learn the ways of the world.
To: Ádhamhnán of Tulach Mhór, Marshal of the League
From: Prince Ygo II of Frisia


I greet you, ascendant Marshal of the Longphorts. I must first, thank your compliment, but I am not a King- I am merely a Prince, faithful vassal of King Leofric of England. I have spoken recently on the matter of trade in the Noardensee and the Baltic with your unfortunately departed predecessor, but of trade in the Atlantic I do not believe we have previously discussed. Perhaps we could organize another meeting to discuss our respective realms of influence.

My dear son Heigo, I should add, is an experienced navigator, and I would consider his expedition to be quite successful, regardless of the unfortunate collision with a war in the distant Mediterranean. But that is simply an aside- please! Do patronize me with a visit, from yourself or a suitable representative, and we shall discuss this matter in greater length.

-Ygo fan Brussel, Prince of Frisia
 
Mass had finished, and Grand Abbot Benedikt slowly entered his litter. A gentle rain hit the roof of it, dripping down on the men carrying it. They were not bothered by it, or at least not show it. They steadily carried his frail body to his destination, a troop of bodyguards surrounding them. A message had come to him from Brother Adar. He was a promising engineer, having overseen the construction of some fortifications in Lithuania. His works were clearly divinely inspired, and Benedikt had taken an interest into his projects. Apparently Adar had taken it upon himself to construct a cannon that would rival, if not surpass the great cannon the Prince of Lithuania used at the Siege of Minskas. Benedikt looked down at one of the litter carriers.

"My son, what exactly happened to that great cannon at Minskas?" He asked warmly.

The carrier was taken aback. "Oh, umm. Well, Grand Abbot Benedikt, it exploded."

"Ha! Imagine that. Well, let's hope Brother Adar doesn't blow us all up, right?" Benedikt gave a weak chuckle. The carrier gave a gulp.

After a few more minutes and they were at the area specified by Brother Adar. Adar and a few assistants could be seen under a small shelter. Next to them was a great mass of metal and wood. As Benedikt approached Adar rushed from the shelter to kiss his hand, and then ran quickly back under the shelter.

"Greetings my Father. I apologize for having you travel in this rain." Adar said to Benedikt as he was being lowered.

" It is no trouble my son," he replied. He was about to begin speaking again, but his eyes drifted to the cannon in front of him, snuffing out any other thoughts in his brain. The caliber was of unbelievable size, and as Benedikt approached it he realized just how enormous it was. Finally, he began to speak again.

"So this is what you've been working on?" was all he could spit out.

"Isn't it marvelous Father?" Adar was much more willing to talk. "No gun of this caliber exists in all of Christiandom. And I dare say no one is going to build one in a while, for I needed every bit of the funds you gave me to commission its construction. But it will certainly be worth the investment. I think the Prince of Polotsk will be able to testify to that before this war is over."

"Truely impressive Brother Adar! So, will we be able to see a demonstration today?"

"Alas my Father, despite our efforts, Doven Ben got a bit damp and I don't believe we will be able to fire him today."

"Fire who?"

"Ah yes, we named it after you Father," Adar's expression turned to one of worry. "Of course if you don't approve, we can always change it."

Benedikt gave wheezy laugh. "Oh I think it's a fine name. I like the decorations too. Truly it is as beautiful as it is deadly." His hand moved over the cold iron, feeling the large cross with his name carved in it.

After a bit of small talk, Benedikt ascended his litter and rode off, cheerful as ever. If heretics in Constantinople and Hungary can have great armories and forge cannons, why can't the truest soldiers of The Almighty do so too? Images of pagan forts, burning and in ruins, flashed through Benedikt's mind. He cackled, stomping his feet wildly (or at least as wildly as his age allowed).The litter swerved from his unexpected movement, and he quickly apologized.

And about a mile back behind him, Adar had just realized he had forgotten to ask Benedikt for help transporting Doven Ben. The rain began to come down harder, and Adar cursed his memory. It was gonna be a long day.
 
Yuri scowled as he looked down on his map. He rubbed his hooked nose as he tried to memorize the routes crisscrossing the border that his Tartars have found. His amour, although repaired and polished, now has a sad look upon it and his surroundings is not of the Palace of Vladimir but one of the forts he built in the north while preparing for war. However, standing up, he has another purpose. He crossed his arms and looked at the Tartar Chief Garzuak and his general Noskhaslav. “Whose fault is it that I have to come and save your bones?” he demanded, “I give you an entire year to train your troops, I gave you excess supplies to prevent raiding, I gave you new weapons and the cream of my personal army.” He fumed, “All I ask is Victory! What did you give me? NOTHING.”

“My men have done their best,” snapped the swarty Tartar, “They have scouted and raided as you’ve sai…”

“I’ve said nothing, Garzuak! Raid to the north I said! Pillage the Lithuanians! You turn around and burn down an orthodox church. A church I say! How can I keep my face up to the Metropolitian? I promised his skin to him, and I can’t even defend his followers!”

Silence, reigned the room as Yuri stared at his two generals. Then, the obtuse Noskhaslav picked up his incredible bulk and tried to argue.
“It is mostly Garzuaks fault! I agree with you, your highness. If they had done what your will was, then more of the towns will happily defect to our gold and protection without us needing to kill them!”

Yuri narrowed his eyes, “And you’ve grown fat over these two years. Did I order you to garrison all the towns? Did I order you to assault every fortress? No, I ordered you to push through, taking important towns under Garzuak’s screen to the Dneiper, and garrison for counterattack in the fall and winter. What did you do? You pickled and tarried, doing nothing while you and my soldiers grow fat!”

Yuri then looked at both of them. “You have betrayed your chance to serve me. You shall be killed by flaying, boiling, and be quartered for your treachery.” The two men blanched, and even the swarty Tartar turned white, “I have already appointed your successors while you waited for this conference and your most loyal followers call for your blood after hearing of your mistake.”

From the shaded back of the room, two guards grabbed Garzuak and pulled him back into the darkness before the tartar could do more than attempt to bound away. However, Noskhaslav seemed to be stuck in his chair, for the guards attempts to lift him out in a timely fashion was failing. Yuri glared at them, “Get the scum out of my sight!” he shouted. Finally, it took six of them to bind the deposed general to the chair and on the mouth (not that he needed it) and carry him away.


“These are the ones who caused your misery!” cried the executioner, after finishing the list of offenses that included treachery and disobedience “Now, we shall you a day to show them what you truly feel of them!”

There was silence. The two men were gagged and in stocks. Then, someone threw a rotten piece of cabbage. Immediately, the soldiers in the square picked up what they could to dirty the two deposed men. No mercy was given, as they all hated the generals who, from their orders and actions, led so many to their doom. The vendors left the barracks happy that day, their pouches full of gold. This repeated until all the companies vented their rage at the men, who now resembled not much more than pieces of filth that they are.

At midnight, as they were unconscious, they were taken back into the dungeons of the fort.

They woke up with their own nightmares. “No!” they pleaded. But the executioners didn’t care. Bound and trussed up, they were slowly skinned alive. Their screams reached the new council of war, chilling the new generals, warning them of the punishment for repeated failure.

The next day, their skin was presented to the crowds, who cheered.

The day after that, their naked face was paraded through the barracks.

Then after being paraded behind the staked heads, their raw, rotting body was quartered and hung over each gate.


With this show of force, the army was revitalized with fear and with joy of the death of the incompetent commanders. When the new recruits arrived next week, they were ready for a new campaign.
 
From: Aimeric II, Prince of Sicily
To: The Emperor of Italy


Never let it be said that there was acrimony between us. Theological and personal differences aside, I am not the man my father was, and it is my desire that, excepting the just punishment of infidels, the Mediterranean be a sea of tranquility.

In keeping with this, I offer to betrothe my infant daughter Catarina to the eldest son of your eldest son. She is the dearest jewel in my princedom, and I would not part with her lightly. With this betrothal, I pray earnestly that the benevolent light of Christ might guide our two realms to pacific coexistence.
 
From: Ioannes IX, Emperor and Autocrat of the Romans
To: Errikos II, Basileus of Sicily


Our two crowns have had their strife in the past, but we remain united by our common commerce and Christian faith. The wars and battles of my youth are history, and strong passions do not survive the years.

These messengers bear with them a treaty of alliance against foreign threats, so that, if either of our realms are attacked by a foreign enemy, jealous of our prosperity and peace, we have the choice of calling upon the other and confronting them with a unified front. What despot would stand against the armies of Rome and the fleets of Sicily?
 
From: Aimeric II, Prince of Sicily, Count of Tunis, Sovereign Custodian of the Catholic Church
To: Ioannes IX, Emperor and Autocrat of the Romans


Your kingly bearing in seeking accommodation with ourselves is worth of Constantine himself, who reconciled the imperial power with the Christian faith.

We accept the offer of the wise imperator. May the Mediterranean truly be at peace.
 
Anton watched as his command drilled with their spears once again. About fifty or so were well tested men from his Vlach hometown, who were taken out of garrison duty to march north. Another 200 were veteran levies, if that is possible, and have faced several Lithuanian charges in battles and skirmishes without breaking. However, the 250 green troops he has been given command over, their own commander dying of typhus while bring them north all the way from Vlachs knew almost nothing.

He watched with increasing dismay as they went through the drills: farmers still used the 'Pitchfork stab': aiming downward at the feet and slicing upward. That would do nice if they had halbards he thought as he watched. Half of them turned the wrong way at the command, "Face Right!" and ran into their counterparts. Damn it, I'll have to teach that to them again! He remembered the long summer and winter he had to train his original 450 levies into an... well, not effective per say but at least an in-clueless, fighting force. But to train them in the span of a season to be worthy of war?

He shook his head again. Of course, other nations gave no reason to care for their levies. "Find them quick and throw them" in seem to be the general sentiment. Didn't the Lithuanias raise fifty thousand or more levies in the span of one summer and didn't they fight several battles before fall arrived? Damn their levies. They block our formation until we don't have room to stab! However, manpower is precious in Volynia, and so said the Prince, "have a year to train the louts into something useful." Well this year, he has hardened his heart, so say the companies in the northern Barracks-town of Saturin, and have killed the general and will head the arm himself. And see what real levies are like: WITHOUT a year to figure out which of their feet is the right one and which arm is holding their shield.

He yelled at a troop that fell down, then commended another that managed to get a good jogging shield wall, then returned to contemplating on the lonely rock pedestal in the barracks-town of Durant. In other plazas, more commanders attempted to order their infantry while on the training fields outside the Boyars tweaked their cavalry and the Tartars hunt down another section of woods into extinction for dinner.

At least the no-use generals have been killed. Whose idea was it to send Tartars to savage a town before attempting to bring it over? And what a faux pax it was when the Tartars brought down that Orthodox Church right before our envoys could tell them to stop! Boris seems to be a good general: He has commanded his own retinue of 1000 or so well and has saved some of the southern towns from the Lithuanians.

Anton sighed and went over to his lieutenant, the captain of the guard and his right hand man by the name of Mihail. "So what do you think? Will you teach them their right foot from their left by nightfall?"

"I don't know, commander Anton," spoke the guardsman, "It seems that they still can't remember that they should not hold the sharp parts."

"Well, we have another week to turn them into something resembling a soldier" sighed Anton, "Look at your own boys! Three battles and only five dead, and how many they killed on their own! We have lost 250 of our old levies at the front of battle after the Lithuanians breeched the walls of Vaskai, where everyone else ran? They stayed there at the southern gate until the last coward left and our cavalry was ready to charge into the gate to hold them off for us."

"We have more years ahead, commander. Remember, they are pagans. We have god on our side. Don't let the tartars buring the church down dissude you, for they have be chastened... again by Yuri himself. It takes strength to walk into their camp, giving a speech reminding them of their duties made years ago, then shaming them."

"Indeed it does... hey you!" Cried Anton as he ran over to another troop, "Its NOT a good idea to poke your spears at each other! Stop I say!"
 
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