joke

happy_Alex · Jun 08, 2005, 03:19 PM

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Pentium · Jun 08, 2005, 03:42 PM

I've heard a more evil version of this one

Kejixu · Jun 08, 2005, 04:19 PM

Ha ha ha ha, that's a really funny joke. You got anymore?

CIVPhilzilla · Jun 08, 2005, 04:49 PM

Good one!

stormbind · Jun 08, 2005, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentium

I've heard a more evil version of this one

Post the more evil one, please

The Person · Jun 09, 2005, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stormbind

Post the more evil one, please

Yes, do it, as this was just a more conservative version of the one I know. In my version the boy isn't as shy about this, so he brags to the pharmacist how horny his girlfriend is and how he plans to plug her in every hole as often as he can. That just makes the joke even better.

FriendlyFire · Jun 09, 2005, 07:03 AM

In one version the "pharmacist" had a massive knife out carving up a turkey.

EDIT: You can guess which part was being "carved" when the boyfiriend enters

Pentium · Jun 09, 2005, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Person

Yes, do it, as this was just a more conservative version of the one I know. In my version the boy isn't as shy about this, so he brags to the pharmacist how horny his girlfriend is and how he plans to plug her in every hole as often as he can. That just makes the joke even better.

I didn't mean this. It goes like that (bold text is mine):

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy goes fo pharmacist and says he wants a condom. The pharmacist gives it to him and asks him if he wants something else. The boy replies: "Yes, give me one more, my girlfriend's sister is very hot too, and maybe something will happen." Pharmacist gives him the second condom and repeats his previus question. The boy says: "You know, their mother is very sexy too, and when her husband will be away, I might try something..." The pharmacist puts a 3-pack in the bag and gives it to the boy

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

The Person · Jun 09, 2005, 11:13 AM

Your version was even better, Pentium! Mixed with my version it would as good as perfect, don't you think?

Dabomb18359 · Jun 09, 2005, 11:30 AM

Yea use Pentium's and the plug every hole, lol. That was good though.

The Person · Jun 09, 2005, 11:32 AM

I just wonder if he would have the energy to "plug every hole" of three girls/women in one go...

barbu1977 · Jun 09, 2005, 12:47 PM

Mine is quite diferent but starts the same:
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a Single condom, 3-pack, 6 pack or 12 back.

The boy asks why there are so many kinks.

"Well aswers the phamacist. Single condom is for hi scholl kids: Once every saturday night.

3 pack is for College student that come home for the weekend. Once friday night, once Saturday night and once sunday afternoon.

6 pack is for college roomates. Thuesday, Wendnesday, Thursday, Friday Saturday and Sunday. Monday you take a break

Finaly, 12 packs is for married couples: January, February, March..."

Kejixu · Jun 09, 2005, 01:01 PM

Pretty good but check out this joke

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Pentium · Jun 09, 2005, 04:29 PM

@The Person: Maybe he is a Hypernenergetic.

@barbu1977: I've heard a simmilar one, with underpants instead of condoms and different nationalities instead of students/married couples. Good still

@Kejixu: Good one!

The Person · Jun 10, 2005, 06:33 AM

@barbu1977
I have heard that before as well, but in my version it's the boy's father who tells him about the condoms.

And another condom-related joke: (Maybe I posted it before. In that case, I hope those who weren't here when I did like it.)

A man and a woman were getting married. The night before the wedding the man has at his parents-in-law to talk to his coming wife's father. He expected it to be the typical "stay true to your wife" stuff, but it wasn't. It was mostly to wish him good luck.

When his future wife's father left the room, her sister entered the room and came with a confession.
"I've always been madly in love with you," she said. "But now you're getting married to my sister tomorrow, and my dreams will never come true. So please let me make love to you this last night before it's you forever."

The man wondered about this, but went out to his car. In the garden his father-in-law-to-be was greeting him.
"You passed the test he," he said. "I was asking my youngest daughter to try to lure you to bed with you, but you resisted. You'll be a good husband for my oldest daughter."

And the morale is: Always leave the condoms in your car.

LLXerxes · Jun 12, 2005, 05:19 PM

I expect threads with jokes about sex and condoms to get closed.

Shall I start the countdown?

YNCS · Jun 12, 2005, 06:29 PM

So this cowboy is sitting in a bar and a woman sits down next to him. The woman asks "are you a cowboy?" The cowboy replies "well, I spend all day sitting on a horse, watching over cattle, and doing other wrangler-type things so I guess I am a cowboy. What are you?" The woman replies "I'm a lesbian. All day I think about making love to women. When I get up in the morning I think about making love to women, when I'm at work I think about making love to women, and when I go to sleep I dream about making love to women." Ten minutes later a man sits down on the cowboy's other side and asks "are you a cowboy?" The cowboy replies "up to ten minutes ago I thought I was."

SuperBeaverInc. · Jun 12, 2005, 06:31 PM

Silly cowboys

happy_Alex · Jun 13, 2005, 02:44 PM

@Kejixu: Good one! made me happier

Jun 08, 2005, 03:19 PM	#1
happy_Alex hope your happy too... Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Wood Green Posts: 1,439	joke A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." __________________ Check out the great new sound of The Ringtones

Jun 08, 2005, 03:42 PM	#2
Pentium Digital Matter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: www.noughmad.org Posts: 2,673	I've heard a more evil version of this one __________________ Noughmad's Land Wouldn't it be great if you could ask a woman what she's thinking? - Jerry Seinfeld (Avatar by Mistfit)

Jun 08, 2005, 04:49 PM	#4
CIVPhilzilla Reagan Republican Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 4,714	Good one! __________________ "To live under the American Constitution is the greatest political privilege that was ever accorded to the human race." -Calvin Coolidge Economic Left/Right: 10 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: .51

Jun 09, 2005, 07:03 AM	#7
FriendlyFire Codex WMDicanious Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Sydney Posts: 11,070	In one version the "pharmacist" had a massive knife out carving up a turkey. EDIT: You can guess which part was being "carved" when the boyfiriend enters __________________ daryllawsonCA Obama is the ANTI.CHRIST ....and fulfill the prophecies in Revelation13....Jesus is coming soon

Jun 09, 2005, 11:13 AM	#9
The Person Deity +2 Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Trondheim, Norway Posts: 2,712	Your version was even better, Pentium! Mixed with my version it would as good as perfect, don't you think? __________________ My words of wisdom(?).

Jun 08, 2005, 04:19 PM	#3
Kejixu Warlord Join Date: May 2005 Location: Somewhere Posts: 157	Ha ha ha ha, that's a really funny joke. You got anymore?

Jun 09, 2005, 11:30 AM	#10
Dabomb18359 Link Has Become A Jedi Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: 8:00-6:00: School =D Posts: 1,024	Yea use Pentium's and the plug every hole, lol. That was good though.

Jun 09, 2005, 11:32 AM	#11
The Person Deity +2 Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Trondheim, Norway Posts: 2,712	I just wonder if he would have the energy to "plug every hole" of three girls/women in one go... __________________ My words of wisdom(?).

Jun 09, 2005, 12:47 PM	#12
barbu1977 Warlord Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 209	Mine is quite diferent but starts the same: A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a Single condom, 3-pack, 6 pack or 12 back. The boy asks why there are so many kinks. "Well aswers the phamacist. Single condom is for hi scholl kids: Once every saturday night. 3 pack is for College student that come home for the weekend. Once friday night, once Saturday night and once sunday afternoon. 6 pack is for college roomates. Thuesday, Wendnesday, Thursday, Friday Saturday and Sunday. Monday you take a break Finaly, 12 packs is for married couples: January, February, March..."

Jun 09, 2005, 01:01 PM	#13
Kejixu Warlord Join Date: May 2005 Location: Somewhere Posts: 157	Pretty good but check out this joke There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Jun 09, 2005, 04:29 PM	#14
Pentium Digital Matter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: www.noughmad.org Posts: 2,673	@The Person: Maybe he is a Hypernenergetic. @barbu1977: I've heard a simmilar one, with underpants instead of condoms and different nationalities instead of students/married couples. Good still @Kejixu: Good one! __________________ Noughmad's Land Wouldn't it be great if you could ask a woman what she's thinking? - Jerry Seinfeld (Avatar by Mistfit)

Jun 10, 2005, 06:33 AM	#15
The Person Deity +2 Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Trondheim, Norway Posts: 2,712	@barbu1977 I have heard that before as well, but in my version it's the boy's father who tells him about the condoms. And another condom-related joke: (Maybe I posted it before. In that case, I hope those who weren't here when I did like it.) A man and a woman were getting married. The night before the wedding the man has at his parents-in-law to talk to his coming wife's father. He expected it to be the typical "stay true to your wife" stuff, but it wasn't. It was mostly to wish him good luck. When his future wife's father left the room, her sister entered the room and came with a confession. "I've always been madly in love with you," she said. "But now you're getting married to my sister tomorrow, and my dreams will never come true. So please let me make love to you this last night before it's you forever." The man wondered about this, but went out to his car. In the garden his father-in-law-to-be was greeting him. "You passed the test he," he said. "I was asking my youngest daughter to try to lure you to bed with you, but you resisted. You'll be a good husband for my oldest daughter." And the morale is: Always leave the condoms in your car. __________________ My words of wisdom(?).

Jun 12, 2005, 05:19 PM	#16
LLXerxes Space Travel is Boring Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 5,079 Images: 2	I expect threads with jokes about sex and condoms to get closed. Shall I start the countdown?

Jun 12, 2005, 06:29 PM	#17
YNCS Ex-bubblehead Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: -4 GMT Posts: 3,098	So this cowboy is sitting in a bar and a woman sits down next to him. The woman asks "are you a cowboy?" The cowboy replies "well, I spend all day sitting on a horse, watching over cattle, and doing other wrangler-type things so I guess I am a cowboy. What are you?" The woman replies "I'm a lesbian. All day I think about making love to women. When I get up in the morning I think about making love to women, when I'm at work I think about making love to women, and when I go to sleep I dream about making love to women." Ten minutes later a man sits down on the cowboy's other side and asks "are you a cowboy?" The cowboy replies "up to ten minutes ago I thought I was."

Jun 12, 2005, 06:31 PM	#18
SuperBeaverInc. Live Slow, Die Whenever Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada Posts: 14,598 Images: 6	Silly cowboys __________________ Six Seasons and a Movie

Jun 13, 2005, 02:44 PM	#19
happy_Alex hope your happy too... Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Wood Green Posts: 1,439	@Kejixu: Good one! made me happier __________________ Check out the great new sound of The Ringtones

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