Stupidest AI contest

[jtb1127]

Submit your entries here. Should include something that the AI have done that is really stupid or funny.

[Derrick CB]

Siam, from all the way across the continent, founded a city five tiles from my capital. The next turn Ramkhamhaeng told me to stop settling new cities near his land. I agreed to his demands, but the diplomacy button said that "he asked to stop settling near him and you ignored him!" After that he accused me of positioning my troops too close to his borders. This was followed by a denouncement and a declaration of war. Five others joined in because I was a warmongering menace to the world.

[eraofdiversion]

Every time my units encounter an enemy scout, the AI thinks I'm near their borders and threatens me.

[Hail]

Originally Posted by eraofdiversion

Every time my units encounter an enemy scout, the AI thinks I'm near their borders and threatens me.

it's an ancient bug, where the AI thinks that every hex it sees(e.g.it's vision > 0) is in it's cultural borders


probably the stupidest thing i saw the AI do(NOT this version though) is DoW me. send a few units toward by borders, which i kill. then in like 2-3 turns, the AI rage-quits

[Terrance888]

The AI uses its archers to melee-defend against my modern armour.

[noncognosco]

The stupidest is when it uses its workers and settlers as melee units. Also when it embarks its entire army when I have ships nearby and I just kill the whole group.

[lolocoster]

Emperor, I'm falling behind in techs because I'm going for culture and don't have many RAs.

DOW, march 7 cannons up to my front lines, get 5 slaughtered by swordsmen and longswords and surrender 3 cities to me.

[Jakt]

There was a narrow isthmus separating me from the enemy Aztec "empire". I sealed the passage with a fort, backed up by ranged units. Montey could've probably overrun me; because I didn't give his warmongering ability much credit, and I had virtually no military to cover any losses. But since this is Civ V, Montey thought he'd just go "embark" all his soldiers into boats and sail past the fort.... right next to my trireme... one, after another, after another... until he lost most of his army. He gave me half his cities and all his gold and strategic resources for 30 turns, if I'd just give him peace. I didn't even leave my cultural borders! Yay for me, I'm such a great general!

Honestly, the hardest thing during this "war" was just staying awake.

[Gilgamesch]

After putting julius back in live (3 cities included rom). Some turns later he denounced me as a warmonger...and says i am a danger
for the whole world.

[Rooftrellen]

I sat there with one city...only one city. I had NO military at all.

I was good to Mongolia, who acted as my watchdog. He did so well, that my capital was the ONLY one he didn't have, and 4 civs had been totally wiped off the face of the earth..by 1700.

At 1950-ish...cultural victory. For about 250 years (and this was marathon!) we sat looking at each other, and he just didn't care that I was obviously going to win.

[cccv]

In war, I guess embarking units for no other possible reason than to let me fire on them with my cities while embarked.

Outside of war, an egyptian settler is going for a tiny ice/tundra corner I hadn't settled yet, I assumed for the oil. I bought the oil tile and he settled anyway. Then another settler is going for another few tiles I hadn't settled, so this time I buy them all so he can't even land. His settler just sat at my boarder for... I don't even know how many turns, I stopped paying attention after awhile. It's like AI settlers make decisions and then don't do a check for "is this still a good decision?" before executing them.

[Derrick CB]

I dislike unit embarkment.

[Jakt]

Originally Posted by Derrick CB

I dislike unit embarkment.

Unit embarkment makes no realistic or tactical sense to me. If they really wanted to make it easy to move units across water, they should at least make transports available for practically free, but built as any other naval unit would be built; in a coastal city. It seems as if the AI was so broken when they put this game together, that the embarking thing was all the designers could come up with to allow the land units to cross the sea.

[Anondod]

Building an ironclad in a city that was technically on the coast... except both adjacent "water" hexes were ice.

[warrior459]

Earth-Large-King-America..... The year is 1990 the world has been split up into 6 major powers Babylon who has conquered all of South America and has a population of a whooping 70 million, France and The Aztecs who have split Asia and Eastern Europe almost evenly, Japan and China who have split Western Europe and the Middle East almost evenly, Persia who conquered 75% of Africa, a bit of Antarctica and various islands, England who conquered the remainder of Africa and a few islands, and finally America who conquered most of North America and a bit of Antarctica. So Darius decides to declare on England(my biggest trading partner and best friend for centuries) and smashes their pathetic army, with their army of 500,000, in a few turns and begins to capture English cities effortlessly. Fearing Economic collapse with the loss of a major trading partner and Persia's score getting way to far ahead of everyone else's I decide to attempt to form a coalition with the worlds major powers (and a few smaller ones like Germany, Spain the Inca, and the Iroquois), to fight Persia. Everyone agrees except Napoleon and some minor power. So I use a great artist to start a golden age and begin preparing for war. Right before the 10 turns of preparation are up England losses all of it's cities in Africa and is left with only a few islands off the coast and of course my happiness meter dips into red, so I have to deplete my treasury buying happiness buildings. So the 10 turns are up and we all declare was on Persia and my forces mobilize(I saw one Babylonian rocket artillery on the way to Africa lol). Two turns later ENGLAND DENOUNCES ME..? (WTF I JUST WENT TO WAR FOR YOU) THEN ALMOST EVERYONE OF MY WAR ALLIES DENOUNCE ME AS WELL..? So I get to Africa and of course my open borders treaty with England expires and of course THEY WONT RENEW IT FOR ANYTHING!!!!!!! Figuring I had to fight Persia no matter what I declare on England to get through their waters to Africa. This is followed by several warnings(and denouncements) from minor powers around the worldlol: and my economy finally collapsing under the pressure of a huge army, adding a ton of happiness buildings without increasing gold output, and finally the gold from Elizabeth for my resources being canceled. At this point I quit playing not only that game but ciV all together until the patches bring back sane AI's.

[Silverfuturist]

Ghandi DoWs me... he thinks I am weak because I have no military so he sends longswords and catapults (without any navy) at my island cities. I buy a frigate and sink all of his embarked units. The few units that landed on islands get stuck there and perish from bombardment.

Meanwhile 3 of my allied CS on his borders send their rifles at him... both me and my CS are an age ahead of him. He asks for peace before he loses his capital, I agree I am going for a diplo win which I get later. He is back to "Friendly," the comment says something like "you went to war with him but he does not hold it against you." BUT later in the game... he DoWs me AGAIN and almost the same result happens!

This all happened on deity... if you can get past the AI early game advantages, it is business as usual when it comes to stupid AI.

[Clement]

Originally Posted by Derrick CB

Siam, from all the way across the continent, founded a city five tiles from my capital. The next turn Ramkhamhaeng told me to stop settling new cities near his land. I agreed to his demands, but the diplomacy button said that "he asked to stop settling near him and you ignored him!" After that he accused me of positioning my troops too close to his borders. This was followed by a denouncement and a declaration of war. Five others joined in because I was a warmongering menace to the world.

Reading this reminds me why i just don't play anymore, you get hated for liberating a city, called a warmonger by the same leader that asked you to join a war AND you get called a warmonger for fighting a defensive war too.

The way diplomacy works whether intentional or unintentional ruins the entire experience for me, city states are a poor exchange for real working diplomacy in my opinion and sadly the upcoming patch has no specific mention of any of these things being fixed.

[Alexastor]

Egypt for denouncing me in round 15, as I supposedly tried to win the game the same way they wanted.

[joncnunn]

Most idoitic I've seen is the AI retreating fully healthy units away from my land forces into the ocean.

Easy pickings for my navy to wipe out.

[DaveGold]

I declare war and the AI immediately embarks a great merchant into the ocean next to my caravel. Wrong in so many ways.