[Story] The War Room - Total War in Civilization V!

[Sparthage]

Okay. It's a matter of which gets more XP for the action. Each results in dead Americans, but us Luftwaffe pilots get 6 XP rather than your 1 XP. We get more benefit out of bombing them than you get from running over them. I keep my old orders.

Sparthage

[Double A]

Well then what the heck else am I supposed to do?

[Nukeknockout]

Sparthage, We have to work together with the Navy. We've got to stop the French now :/ If you disobey orders to the detriment of friendly forces and the national defense, I'll shoot you myself.

[Nonevah]

Ninja, I said that you should fortify, and that I am moving to where the 6th Regiment is right now.

[Save_Ferris]

Is anyone getting that tank outside of Atlanta?

[Double A]

Originally Posted by Save_Ferris

Is anyone getting that tank outside of Atlanta?

Is anyone going to read my posts?

[Sparthage]

Originally Posted by Nukeknockout

Sparthage, We have to work together with the Navy. We've got to stop the French now :/ If you disobey orders to the detriment of friendly forces and the national defense, I'll shoot you myself.

Fine.

But I do this under protest. You answer to the parents who lose kids when their child is shot down though. I don't answer to the Admiral, I answer to the Luftwaffe Commander, which is you, for now.

Bomb some wounded French unit. Preferably a tank.

Sparthage,
Irritated.

[Save_Ferris]

Originally Posted by Double A

Is anyone going to read my posts?

Whoops. Sorry.

[Nukeknockout]

Originally Posted by Sparthage

Fine.

But I do this under protest. You answer to the parents who lose kids when their child is shot down though. I don't answer to the Admiral, I answer to the Luftwaffe Commander, which is you, for now.

Bomb some wounded French unit. Preferably a tank.

Sparthage,
Irritated.

You would've had to answer to the parents of the groundpounders who would've died without your air support.

-Nukeknockout

[Magnive]

@Double_A
Noted with bombardment

@Nonevah
I can't do very much planning on a front like that, I'm not very good when AI (Mostly because even though they should obey orders, and messes up the whole plan!) are involved.
I'd suggest just moving with their army, probably a little behind them, heal up if needed, and don't get caught, and otherwise just helping them

@Air and Navy
Please let the air units bombard the US troops, we need the mighty ships down in the south like now, unfortunaly, we have to take out that French Destroyer in order to make it harder for US to land units in our lands. The Luftwaffe can reach the french units in the south currectly, while your need precious turns to get down there, which we don't have, so please just take out that Destroyer, and then get most of your ships down here :/

[NinjaCow64]

Originally Posted by Nonevah

Ninja, I said that you should fortify, and that I am moving to where the 6th Regiment is right now.

Actually, I’d recommend moving to the tundra space two places north from my current position. I think that it is out of the range of the Zeroes.

Go to the place two places north of my current position. If Nonevah continues with his original orders, then fortify.

[Nonevah]

Originally Posted by NinjaCow64

Actually, I’d recommend moving to the tundra space two places north from my current position. I think that it is out of the range of the Zeroes.

Go to the place two places north of my current position. If Nonevah continues with his original orders, then fortify.

If it is legal for me, follow Ninjacow to his new position. If not, move to where he was at the start of this turn.

[NinjaCow64]

THIS STORY HAS THE OFFICIAL LH STAMP OF APPROVAL!

DISCLAIMER:

I am not actually like this in real life. I’m not Russian and I have not even tasted Vodka. And I am not a Communist. So yeah.

April 17th, 1800 minutes.
Rodina, Russia. Snowfield outside of St. Petersburg

Fredrik von Kransky looked down at his watch. He should have been here by now.

“He should have been here by now.” Said Fredrik. Fredrik often spoke his mind. That’s one of the many reasons he was posted on the Russian front.

There was a dust cloud coming over the hill. Russia doesn’t have many dust storms, so Fredrik reasoned that it was a car.

“There aren’t many dust storms in Russia.” Said Fredrik, who was again proving why he couldn’t get a better posting. “So it must be a car.”

The dust storm was indeed a car. But it was moving rather erratically. When the car came closer, it was quite obvious whoever was driving was drunk.

“That driver is completely drunk.” Said Fredrik, who is probably annoying the reader with his stating of things that the reader already knows. “I hope to god his isn’t the liaison.”

The car, which was close enough to be indentified as a jeep, was driving towards Fredrik and four of his lieutenants. It was driving very fast.

“DODGE THE BLOODY VEHICLE!” Shouted Fredrik who was dodging to the left with another lieutenant. The other two dodged to the right of the vehicle and the other lieutenant ran off into the woods screaming like a little baby, which was ironic because he was by far the oldest of the lieutenants. The driver of the truck probably realised that there was heaps of people in his way so he tried to change the direction of the truck. He succeeded, but the new direction he was headed in directed him directly into a tent.

“Is he alright?” asked Fredrik as he and the other lieutenants walked towards the jeep. Suddenly, a man burst out of the jeep and shouted at the top of his lungs “YA BLIN! VODKA!!!” That translates into English roughly as “I am a pancake! VODKA!!!”

“Sorry, comrades.” Said the man in German. He had a very Russian accent.

“I am Major Ninjacow of the Russian army.” Continued Ninjacow “I am your liaison to the Russian army.”

“I am Captain Fredrik von Kransky, commander of the 6th infantry. We are part of the Rodianan Expeditionary Force.”

“Good good comrade! Let’s discuss our roles in the mess tent. I assume you have Vodka, right?” The army men walked towards the mess tent. Suddenly, a dashingly good looking and brilliantly dressed man walked out of one of the tents.

“Hello,” said the man “I am the Narrator. You may know me from Alexander: A comedic tale. Ninja has made it a priority to include me in everyone of his stories. Even the ones that are not really started by Ninja but are really part of forum games. Now, because this story is different, I will appear in two ways. The Narrating way, like this.” The incredibly sexy Narrator pulled out a coin and flipped it in the air.

“See, that was all me.” He continued “The other way I will appear is talking like I am now. I don’t anything else useful to say so I will continue with the story.

1810 hours.
Capt. Fredrik’s Base Camp, In the Mess Hall/Tent

“Comrade Fredrik, do you have any Vodka at your disposal?” asked Ninjacow as he walked into the tent with Fredrik.

“Yes,” said Fredrik “we got a package of Vodka with the shipment from St. Petersburg. We also got a box of German beer and some light refreshments as well. Are you sure that you should have more Vodka? You seem completely pissed.”

“Nonsense!” Said Ninjacow “I’ve only drunk ten bottles of Vodka today, I’ll be fine! Private, get me a Vodka please.” The private nodded and walked out to the back of the tent.

“So,” asked Fredrik “why exactly are you here again? This is a German military operation.”

“Well,” said Ninjacow “General Stroganoff is a notorious micromanager. He likes to make sure that every hair on every private’s head is in it’s place. And he is in charge of the defence against Japan. He sent me to make sure that you aren’t doing anything stupid. And I won’t interfere unless you are doing something stupid.” The private who Ninjacow had asked for Vodka had come back with a glass full of Vodka.

“Thank you.” Said Ninjacow, who then preceded to skull it. He spit it out immediately.

“THAT DRINK IS SPIKED!” Shouted Ninjacow. Everyone in the room stopped eating, talking and drinking and looked at him. Ninjacow pointed to the ground where the Vodka was. “THIS VODKA HAS LEMONADE IN IT!!!” Everyone rolled their eyes and went back to eating/drinking/talking/all of the above.

“Sorry comrades.” Said Ninjacow after calming down “I forgot you were Germans who have inferior resistance to alcohol. Then again, you have superior tanks. I want a pint of Vodka with nothing else in it. No lemonade, no mineral water, no little umbrellas. Kapish?” The young private, who was scared out of his brains, went back to the liquor room.

“Actually,” said Ninjacow, “scrap that. FREE DRINKS FOR EVERYONE! VODKA FOR EVERYONE!!!” Everyone in the room of the tent whooped and cheered except for Fredrik who just said “Oh crap.”

1845 minutes. Outside the tent.

It was an epic party. One glass of Vodka turned into three bottles of Vodka and that turned into five cases of Vodka and kept growing until Ninjacow couldn’t walk. Ninjacow was being supported by Fredrik and another soldier.

“Come comrades, let’s examine our situation.” Said Ninjacow

“But Major,” said Fredrik “you’re completely pissed!”

“I work best when I’m drunk. TO THE WAR ROOM!” Ninjacow was carried into the war tent.

“How is the situation, Captain?” asked Ninjacow

“Bad,” said Fredrik “That last Japanese shelling hit us hard. Most of our unit are dead or badly injured. We have only one medic and I’ve heard that Mecherik isn’t holding up well either.”

“I can fix the solider shortage. But firstly, I’ll give you the latest tactical maps.” Ninjacow laid down the maps on the table. “The Russians are planning an attack on the Japanese infantry near the Shogun River. If we can destroy infantry then the Japanese will have nobody to defend their Artillery. Now, get me General Strongonoff!” Ninjacow was handed a radio and then started to shout into it in Russian.

“What do you think of him, Captain?” asked a Lieutenant who was standing next to him.

“Unless he delivers what he promises,” said Fredrik “he will be just another reason to hate this hell hole of a continent. It’s cold, wet and teeming with suicidal Japanese soldiers and Russian acholics. This is the place for the unlucky, the insane and the people who have powerful enemies. And I’m in the third category.” Fredrik had a sole reason he was in this place. It was his deep dark secret and for a person that spoke his mind too often, keeping a deep dark secret is a major feat. His deep dark secret had a name. It was known as the Incident and the Giant Pumpkin and it scared the Brathwurst out of him. And it is for a very good reason, a reason he has told no one. Well, until later in the story, but I shouldn’t spoil the plot. Sigh. Nevermind. See you later until the next update.

[NinjaCow64]

This might be premature, but I officially BUMP this thread.

[Lighthearter]

Received:

-ShadowNX
-Redspy
-Save Ferris
-Double A
-Sparthage
-Nonevah
-Ninjacow

If your name is not on that list, SEND ME THOSE ORDERS!

-L

[Magnive]

Oh, I always forget to give orders... Go to Frankfurt, but make sure not to do it before the fights nearby have been fought

[Suitaroh]

Run over the Infantry by Atlanta and move 1 tile to the east

[Celticfury]

LH, turn over control of my unit to an NPC. Life's been a bit hectic lately, and I'm taking a break from a few games.

[Lighthearter]

Turn will be played tonight. Inactive units will be NPCd.

-L

[hoplitejoe]

I was just going to ask for my unit to be NPC'd i have no idea what's happening in this game.