Dabomb18359
Link Has Become A Jedi
Your mama's so fat when she sits around the house she REALLY SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!!!
my friend told me that
my friend told me that
100 Cheesiest Jokes
- Thread starter Tsunami23
- Start date
Two cannibals are sitting around a campfire eating a comedian. One looks at the other and says: "Does this taste funny to you?"
A pirate walks into a bar with a huge ships wheel for a belt buckle. The bar tender says: "that must be really heavy".. to which the pirate replies: "its driving me nuts.... aargh"
Both of these still make me laugh...
A pirate walks into a bar with a huge ships wheel for a belt buckle. The bar tender says: "that must be really heavy".. to which the pirate replies: "its driving me nuts.... aargh"
Both of these still make me laugh...
Icekommander
Colonel
What do you get when you combine a pig with a bush? A hedgehog.
What do you get when you combine a pig with a tree? A porcupine.
What did the doctor say to the guy who claimed he was a tepee on Monday, and declared himself a wigwam the next? "Relax buddy, your too tense"
What do you get when you combine a pig with a tree? A porcupine.
What did the doctor say to the guy who claimed he was a tepee on Monday, and declared himself a wigwam the next? "Relax buddy, your too tense"
A man walked into a doctor's surgery and said: "Help me doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains!"
The doctor replied: "Pull yourself together man!"
---
Why did the two homosexual spiders split?
They kept getting at each other's flies.
---
What do you call a Jew with a convertible?
A Jew with a convertible. What are you, some kind of racist?
The doctor replied: "Pull yourself together man!"
---
Why did the two homosexual spiders split?
They kept getting at each other's flies.
---
What do you call a Jew with a convertible?
A Jew with a convertible. What are you, some kind of racist?
Fr8monkey
Deity
Why do College girls wear underwear?
Spoiler :
Veritass
Emperor
That reminded me of these:
Moderator Action: Vulgar and sexual content, infraction, deleted
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
Moderator Action: Vulgar and sexual content, infraction, deleted
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
Darsnan
Emperor
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2007
- Messages
- 1,215
And now, something from the Engineering side of the house:
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, 'Where did you get such a great bike?'
The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.'
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, 'What' s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'
The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!'
The priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
He said, 'Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group fell silent.
The priest said, 'That's so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'
The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'
The engineer said, 'Why can't they play at night?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with an arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, 'It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.'
Another said, 'No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. '
The last one said, 'No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, 'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.'
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.'
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess,
I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.'
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'
The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, 'Where did you get such a great bike?'
The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.'
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, 'What' s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'
The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!'
The priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
He said, 'Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group fell silent.
The priest said, 'That's so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'
The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'
The engineer said, 'Why can't they play at night?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with an arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, 'It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.'
Another said, 'No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. '
The last one said, 'No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?'
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, 'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.'
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.'
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess,
I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.'
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'
The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool
Darsnan
Emperor
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2007
- Messages
- 1,215
And in honor of the upcoming Valentine's Day:
A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a beautiful young girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an
opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a
Kiss?"
So, she does.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl...."
D
A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a beautiful young girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an
opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a
Kiss?"
So, she does.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl...."
D
rugbyLEAGUEfan
Deity
What do you call a woman with 2 steaks ,2 prawns and 6 sausages on her head ?
Barbie
What do you call a dog with no legs ?
Anything you want , it's still not gonna come when you call
Barbie
What do you call a dog with no legs ?
Anything you want , it's still not gonna come when you call
What inspired your name?
readmyusername
Chieftain
what did the sushi say 2 the bee?
wassabee
wassabee
Kennigit
proud 2 boxer
snipping this out actually to put in other thread
salty mud
Deity
Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley.
Spoiler :
El Bogus
Prince
...peanut.
Optical
The Fall of the Eleventh
That never gets old. So cheesy, and yet so funny.
Similar threads
