Gandhi's tale

[Harry Potter52]

1200BC: A new city is founded...
Hausmann: And now we present for your inspection- Madras...
(commotion backstage
"Hey wheres the picture"
"you forgot to take it"
"you don't mean that do you?"
"yes I do")
...uummm, perhaps we should rename it Invisible Madras
Michaelangelo: We ahve also precipitated the birth of some nutty guy with a white beard and a halo, who calls himself Zoroaster, the great prophet
Gandhi: Tell him to sleep over his prophesying while I find something for him to do.


1040BC:
Michaelangelo: While we were searching for the picture of Madras, your people in Delhi got together and built a wall to keep stupid leaders like y... umm stupid advisors like us outside, but they put in doors, so it seems only stupid philistines who can only say "bar, bar, bar, bar..." are unable to open the doors.
Gandhi: Yeah, i am after all, a wonder monger, this will help us neglect the army and build wonders.
Bush (who had been drooling in the corner): Wha... neglect the military? My beautiful military?
Gandhi: well, you paid it too much attention in your term didn't you?

 

[Pacifist46]

@ Pacifist46:
There is something I have to admit, as you have obviously noticed, my writing style has been inspired for you so forgive me for copying it. But hey, imitation is the best form of flattery

Don't worry, I'm not bothered at all!

 

[Harry Potter52]

800BC: Something which Isabella missed...
Lewitt: And we became the first to research Code of Laws so a funny guy with a ponytail and green robe has appeared in Madras, saying he is the missionary for Confucianism, whose holy city is Madras...
Gandhi: Yaboo! A big raspberry to 'bella! I got another religion... Well, let him sleep for a while...
Lewitt: but shouldn't we spread the religion?
Gandhi: Let Him sleep
Lewitt: in other news, your REXing has forced our research rate to 80%
Gandhi: that's good enough... But since when did I start building dinosaurs?
Lewitt: not that Rex, rapid expansioon is what i eman
Gandhi: I knew that
Lewitt:

 

[Harry Potter52]

700BC: A visitor...
Amby: the guy wearing spectacles in that library wants to talk to you..
Gandhi: What's up FDR?
Roosevelt: I am offering you a new deal
Gandhi: Yeah, I know it's your election slogan. What deal?
Roosevelt: Something never though of before and absolutely new... Open borders!!!
Gandhi: Sure, take it Roosy old boy...
(FDR exits)
Lewitt: And in other news, we have researched Polytheism
Gandhi: go for Mono, then we'll get zoroaster to bulb christianity and it will be something else to throw in 'bella's face

 

[Harry Potter52]

650BC: Delhi finishes building whatever it built after the great wall
MichaelangelO; i think we just built a library in Delhi, i am not sure, memory fails me...
Gandhi: Anyway, build a settler
Lewitt: you'll wreck your economy
Gandhi: Something about dinosaurs wasn't it?
Lewitt: There is a limit to REXing...
Gandhi: Let's pray to the great Snaaty: "Oh help us lord in acquiring the power to turn our questioning advisors to stone..."(he realises he is in an empty room) Oh! Just as well...

 

[W|M]

Thats not Gandi-Its his evil twin of the same name who muderded good Gandi

 

[Harry Potter52]

It's an avatar...

 

[Harry Potter52]

575BC: Lots of changes in India...
A trumpeter proclaims something throughout the world..
Trumpeter: The highest authority, the great ruler Gandhi has decided, in all his benevolence to allow people to become slaves.... [cheers erupt from the crowd, on cue by the choreographer]. He has also decide to let there be organised religion which will help us spread Buddhism, our glorious religion to make us very powerful. He ahs decided to let a few select individual become feudal lords, where they will train the warriors and soldiers to combat our enemies and make India the strongest, most powerful, nati- (trumpeter dies of a burst artery due to excessive strain.
Lewitt: (staring at the body being carried before the balcony): That's a lot of baloney he said. Great amounts of lies.
Bush: Well, I guess he'd been threatened by gandhi into saying it
Gandhi(entering): So, was the trumpeting fine?
Michaelangelo (in an undertone): They say something about not blowing your own trumpet...
Lewitt: in other news, we have researched Monotheism and started Alphabet so that we can easily trade with out neighbours for more technologies
Gandi: Good, have that sleeping Great Prophet, watzisname oh Zoroaster bulb Theology
Lewitt: he's done so and discovered something called Christianity in Bombay, which hails as it's leader someone who will be born 575 years later. So they've decided to spread the teachings of their yet-to-be-born leader through an old fella with white hair and a beard, nearly bald, wearing robes and holding a cross.

 

[Harry Potter52]

550BC: A wonder is built...
Michaelagngelo: And in a great display of skill and strength the indian People have built the Pyramids in Bombay, enabling us to become a bunch of fascists, or give each person one vote of equal value or make us a nation or what not...
Gandhi: That's music to my ears

525BC: 1 rival down, quite a few to go...
Amby: Sire, latest reports about our neighbours, apparently Mansa Musa was attacked and had his city razed by Barbs, the Malinese civ is no more...
Ganhdi: WHOOPEEEE


450BC: Lewitt dismayed
Gandhi: Settle a city called Bangalore overh here
Lewitt: But It'll conitinue to wreck our economy further
Gandhi: See dude, each time i settle a city, i don't want complaints form you, understand?
Lewitt; yes, your majesty. Bangalore has been settled.

 

[Harry Potter52]

350BC: Something is built in Delhi...
Michaelangelo: We have built a wonder called the Hanging Gardens in delhi, causing our people to be productive and increased our population by 1 in each city.
Gandhi: well done, i hope we continue to do such great stuff...
Michaelangelo: Inshah-Allah
Ganhdhi: hey, we haven't founded islam yet, so you can't say that.
Michaelangelo: I am not sure that you will be able to found Islam with Isa nearby
Gandhi: hey, you're forgetting an entire continent too...

 

[Harry Potter52]

325BC: We got a flood of GEs...
Lewitt: Some guy in a helmet with a hammer in his hand called Henry Bessemer was born in Delhi
Gandhi: Send him to snore with the rest....


250BC: The Indian civilisation progresses to further heights...
Guard by the gate: Sire, this man has come with news for you
Man: Sire, I have made an important discovery, I was washing my bedsheet, when I fell in the river. I was drowning, but managed to float on a log. There was no way for me to go back to the shore, so I was stuck there, then the wind started blowing towards the shore and the bedsheet flared up. I tried to hold it ad managed to hold two opposite corners, when the bedsheet started pulling me and the log towards shore. I am sure this can be used by us to make fishing boats which work without oars
Gandhi: This is amazing, what is your name, we'll name this technique after you
Man: Sire, I am called Sayylorr
Gandhi: SO we have now discovered... SAILING

 

[Harry Potter52]

125BC: Another wonderous achievement
Michaelangelo: We just built a temple called the Parthenon in Delhi, it's got lotsa gods stuffed in it...
Gandhi: Hmmm, What about the temple for uhhh.....yeah...Artemis going on in Bombay?
Michelangelo: We are sufferring from labour shortages, so it shouldd be done in say, 25 years


100BC: And it is
Lewitt: We have learned something which ahs lead students all over our kingdom to start saying "Ban the heavy classics" or "Down with Coleridge" and stuff like that
Gandhi: DOn't tell me that we've researched Literature
Lewitt: We have and also...
Michaelangelo: ... the Temple of Artemis is built as promised
Gandhi: Ohh, this is even better, we'll become a wonder power HEEHEEEHEEE

 

[Harry Potter52]

50BC: We don't seem to fall short of Great Persons, do we?
Lewitt: Another guy with that white beard and bald head, who calls himself "Great Prophet Tsongkhappa" has been born in Bombay
Gandhi: Tell him to build something to honour our religion in Delhi
Amby: But sir, he's an old man, he cant build stuff
Gandhi; Doesn't matter
(some time later)
Messenger: Sire, urgent news!1 Our beloved prophet died after strenous work on what is being called the Mahabodhi. It is also now his tomb and visitors paying respects are giving us hefty donations

 

[Harry Potter52]

200AD:We're back after a short commercial break
Michaelangelo: And now see for yourself the fruit of my labour, my masterpiece, my best creation, something you cant get enough of, the Sistine Chapel...
[Audience claps as the cloth unveils..nothing???]
Michaelangelo: Ohh sorry that's my special protective coating of invisible paint, guaranteed against prying eyes, let me remove it...BEHOLD

Michaelangelo: Over to your great leader to make the inauguration speech
Gandhi: My beloved subjects, as our empire grows stronger, symbols of our progress appear and to celebrate, we have something new called music
(Soft strains are heard when suddenly there is cacophony of:"AAHHHH MY BEEAAAUTTTYYY PAST COMPAARRREEE THESE JEWELES BRIGHT I WEAARRRR)
Gandhi: Hey!! I didn't invite Bianca Castafiore, get someone better
(next is even worse "ahhh Farewell fair ladies of Luttetiaaaa" which actually causes rain???)
Gandhi: No not Cacophonix!!!
(Pure Beethoven sounds)
Gandhi: That's better

 

[Harry Potter52]

275AD: Someone's born kinda early...
Lewitt: Another guy in a miner helmet calling himself Wilbur Wright has be-
Gandhi: Hey, Isn't hey the guy who invented the aeroplane
Lewitt: Watz dat? i never heard of it
Gandhi: yeah you're behind times, but he is born like, 1600 years too early
Lewitt: So we let him sleep that long?
Gandhi: No, let's publicly execute him and the stupid artist we got for music, that should inspire our people to do better
(some time later)
Historian's note: And hence, the first Indian Golden Age started, lead by a bloody dismissal of an artist and engineer, which lead to the people becoming so scared, that they performed even better

 

[Harry Potter52]

300AD: An epic achievement
Lewitt: The (grumble) settler you ordered is done, so we started the National Epic in Delhi
Gandhi: Good, send that settler to the pre determined destination he inherently knows.



350AD: Revolting stuff
An ad in the national newspaper which actually doesn't exist as we haven't discovered media...

You can VOTE and be a feudal lord​

After the discussion by our enlightened leaders, it has been decided that:

• There will be one vote to each person to decide who leads them and each
  vote will have one value (but there is only one possible compete leader-Gandhi)
• The land shall be divided to an extent between feudal lords who shall be selected by an exam and shall pay some taxes in return and supply improved trained soldiers

P.S. All viewers, i like telling my tale to myself

 

[Dumanios]

I still like this story.

 

[DroopyTofu]

Yay, an update. Let's see, i think you got Fuedalism, Representation and Bueracracy?
As far as telling the story to yourself, don't take it personal. Look more at the number of views than replies. Alot of people just read these, without bothering to give feedback. Humerous update, though!

 

[micbic]

I suppose Lewitt is happy that you didn't expand in this update?
Nice story. Keep it up!!

 

[Patricman]

wow, great update! Keep it up!