New Turn Thread 1878-1892

[Kev]

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

The Civ court is now in session.

The Honorable Judge Sid presiding!

All rise!

[Everyone in the courtroom stands]

[Judge Sid takes his seat]

SID: You may be seated.
[Everyone sits]
SID: Clerk, please read the charges before this court.
CLERK: Be it hereby noted that members of the United Fanatica Inner Circle did knowingly perform brutal and premeditated attacks upon cities of the English Nation in an effort to subjugate the citizens thereof.
SID: And how do the defendants plead in this case?
KEV: Your honor, serving as defense for the UFIC, we plead not guilty. While we freely admit to attacks on specific English targets, they were not made in an effort to subjugate the English people, but to liberate them.
HANK: Your honor, I object.
SID: What is your objection, and why are you being allowed to be the prosecutor in this case?
HANK: Your honor, first of all nobody else wanted to prosecute the UFIC. They all feel that this group is some sort of group for goodly works or something. Second, I object to council’s statement that they think the English needed liberating. I was a pretty darn good leader.
SID: Objection is overruled as this trial will bear out that question. Please begin your opening arguments.
HANK: OK. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I intend to show you that these maniacs in the Inner Circle of United Fanatica want nothing more than to make the world their own. I will show you that this is all done for nefarious purposes and that you should hang them for their deeds. Please vote for me.
KEV: Objection!
SID: Sustained! Prosecutor, please refrain from begging the jury. This is a trial not an election.
HANK: I’m done anyway.
SID: Council?
KEV: Thank you, your honor. If it pleases the court, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we have nothing to hide in the UFIC. The prosecution will try to show you a civilization bent on death and destruction, but I only ask one thing of you during this trial. Keep in mind a larger picture and where UF is attempting to take the world. Keep in mind, too, FROM where we are taking it as well. Thank you.
HANK: Objection!
SID: What now?
HANK: I meant to say ‘Thank You’ as well but forgot.
SID: Please shut up and call your first witness.
HANK: Hmpf. I call Dell to the stand.
SID: Mr. Dell, and all the witnesses, I know that you have all been sworn so remember that when you give your testimony.
DELL (et. al.): Yes, your Honor.
HANK: Mr. Dell, you are a governor of United Fanatica, are you not?
DELL: I am.
HANK: What, if anything, do you remember about the year 1878?
DELL: Well, I remember that Kev did a lot of improvement rushing as there was a lot of gold in the coffers, some freight was delivered throughout the nation, and the city of Khan Keeper was build near the city of Naples…
HANK: And what about any international dealings?
DELL: Well, a Zulu cruiser attacked and killed riflemen in Hippoville and an English submarine attacked the UFS Leowind – which survived while sinking the sub.
HANK: Yes, well, did you NOT have spies look into the city of Nottingham?
DELL: Well, yes, but…
HANK: Thank You! No further questions.
SID: Cross?
KEV: Mr. Dell, why did the spies look into the city of Nottingham?
DELL: As I tried to say, they were trying to gauge the happiness level of the citizens there, and it was not good. However, if the city became Fanatic, the other nearby cities would attack their own countrymen. There were some military on the way to the area, so it was decided to wait for their arrival.
KEV: Thank you Mr. Dell. No further questions.
SID: Recross?
HANK: Why were the military coming to English waters Mr. Dell?
DELL: To help protect any citizens looking to become Fanatics.
HANK: So what you’re saying is “to kill lots of innocent English women and children”?
KEV: Objection!
SID: Sustained. Stop these antics Mr. Prosecutor or you’re outta here.
HANK: No further questions?
SID: Council?
KEV: None.
SID: Next witness.

HANK: I call Duke of Marlbrough to the stand.
[Duke to the stand]
HANK: Please tell the court your association with United Fanatica.
DUKE: I am the science advisor and concerned citizen of the Inner Circle.
HANK: And can you relate the events of 1879?
DUKE: Sure. We saw that the Mongols had become a democracy for some reason, the city of PhilosophySwamp was built, and a note was made as to English attack ships sailing about.
HANK: As science advisor, were there any new discoveries in this year?
DUKE: Yes, combined arms was discovered and then we set about to discover superconductors.
HANK: Ahhhh! COMBINED ARMS! What, pray tell, can one build with COMBINED ARMS?
DUKE: Ummm… Paratroopers. Helicopters as well.
HANK: To destroy innocent women and children and all of their pets????
KEV: Objection!
SID: Sustained. Stop the outbursts or I’ll hold you in contempt. (I should say even more so)
HANK: No further questions.
SID: Council?
KEV: Mr. Duke, what were the superconductors to be used for?
DUKE: Our spaceship, of course.
KEV: So you would say that we were trying to find a way to colonize distant planets in an effort to help the overcrowding the world was seeing?
DUKE: Correct.
KEV: Nothing further.
SID: Prosecution?
HANK: Nothing, Your Honor.
SID: Next witness.

HANK: The people call Elibb to the stand.
[Elibb to the stand]
HANK: Mr. Elibb, what, if anything, do you remember about 1880?
ELIBB: I know some uranium freight was delivered about and made us about 1,800 gold, some barbarians showed up near Kazan like they seemed to do every year, another Zulu cruiser attacked Renmark and killed a rifleman there, and more things were rushed across the nation.
HANK: Did your namesake ship do anything in this year?
ELIBB: Yes, the UFS Elibb attacked and sank an English transport carrying three units.
HANK: YES! Did you know that those units were actually PUPPY DOGS??
KEV: Objection, pure conjecture your Honor.
SID: Sustained.
HANK: Nothing further.
KEV: Mr. Elibb, in your dealings with your towns near English lands, did you notice if the English had discovered anything new?
ELIBB: Yes, they discovered mobile warfare in this year.
KEV: To build tanks, correct.
ELIBB: That’s about it.
KEV: No more questions.
SID: Recross?
HANK: Tanks are good defenders, no?
ELIBB: I guess so, but…
HANK: Nothing further.
SID: Council?
KEV: Nothing.
SID: Next witness.

HANK: The people call Ren to the stand.
[Ren takes the stand]
HANK: Please explain to the court your association with United Fanatica.
REN: I am the Military Minister for United Fanatica.
HANK: Ah, MILITARY Minister. This should be good. And do you remember anything that may have happened in 1881?
REN: We discovered the superconductor and started on fusion, Kev just up and paid for the completion of the Apollo Project, a bunch more freight was delivered all over the place, and some more improvements were rushed.
HANK: Mr. Ren, do you expect us to believe that nothing happened in the military?
REN: Yes, our spy was able to put some 2,000 gold into the city of Nottingham, and the citizens flocked to us. There were 15 units inside the city that joined us as well. Then, a transport with three howitzers landed and they cleared out some of the partisans that were threatening the farmers in the fields. Our spy, thankfully, made it back to Reading and prepared to head out to Birmingham with another spy as well.
HANK: So what you are saying is that you decided to occupy a city and cared nothing for the defenseless zoo animals?
REN: Well, no, they were just …
HANK: NO further questions. I’m too distraught.
KEV: Your HONOR?
SID: Cut the dramatics, Mr. The Fifth. Jury will disregard that last statement.
KEV: Mr. Ren, were any improvements or buildings harmed in Nottingham?
REN: No sir.
KEV: What did the English do when they saw Nottingham change sides?
REN: They attacked their own city with a tank and attacked the UFS Ren with a cruiser. Both attacks were repelled.
KEV: Nothing else.
SID: Council?
HANK: Sniff. Nothing else. Sniff.
SID: Next witness.

HANK: The people call duke o’ york.
[duke to the stand]
HANK: Please tell us your association with United Fanatica.
dUKE: I am the Minister of the Interior, concerned citizen, and tapper of the kegs.
HANK: And do you recall the year 1882?
dUKE: I do. We discovered fusion in this year and started stealth, and we lowered our science to 0 and put taxes up to 70% We were making like 3,000 gold per turn. Also, the city of StarlifterWatch was built – just north of Kabul. StarlifterWatch would keep a contant vigil there. The UFS Dell sank an English destroyer near Dexterport, and the Apollo Program brought back pictures of our world. Very nice.
HANK: And what about happenings in English lands.
dUKE: Well, we had about 15 howitzers land at Nottingham, and it was decided that the English should pay for their efforts to hurt their own people at that city. We decided to hit the capital of London, and took the city for Fanatica. The partisans were then dispatched.
HANK: So you crushed the English capital underfoot caring not for the historical landmark of the Great Wall – destroying all things sacred to the English?
dUKE: Well, not ….
HANK: Nothing further, your Honor.
SID: [Rolling eyes] Mr. Kev?
KEV: What happened when London was taken?
dUKE: Well, the capital moved to Newcastle, and there was another attack at Nottingham with tanks.
KEV: And the Great Wall.
dUKE: We took great strains to preserve this piece of history and it was undamaged.
KEV: Nothing further.
SID: Recross?
HANK: I’m too upset to do so, your Honor.
SID: Can the hysterics and call your next witness, please.

 

[Kev]

HANK: The people call Civ1 to the stand.
[Civ1 to the stand]
HANK: Please tell us your association with United Fanatica.
CIV1: I am a governor for that fine civilization.
HANK: And what do you recall from 1883?
CIV1: Some Zulu ships were near our home island. The UFS Kev attacked a Zulu battleship and was victorious but wounded badly, and the UFS York attacked a Zulu cruiser and sank it with almost no damage. We were pretty mad at the Zulus for bombing some of our cities. They tried to attack Renmark again, but they were defeated this time.
HANK: How about in English territory?
CIV1: We needed to retaliate against the English, so with the help of the UFS Leowind a rifle was delivered to the empty city of Bristol, and with the help of MANY howitzers, the new English capital of Newcastle was also taken – with no partisan activity this time.
HANK: Two cities you took?
CIV1: Yes.
HANK: Did you know that Newcastle was the home of a large aviary for wayward sparrows and that Bristol beaches support a large sea turtle population? Are you saying you just tore these beautiful cities apart and left these animals to die?
CIV1: N…
HANK: That’s all I have for this butcher… I mean witness. Sob.
SID: I am fining the prosecution for poor acting and ranting.
HANK: Only if it can go to the humane society…
SID: Mr. Kev?
KEV: Um… were there any reports of the things that Mr. The Fifth is talking about?
CIV1: Apparently, the sparrows and turtles only returned after the English were driven away. Seems they were constantly trying to eat both creatures for lack of any good food to eat in England in general.
KEV: Nothing further.
SID: Next witness.

HANK: The people call Anarchy to the stand.
[Anarchy takes the stand]
HANK: Please tell us what you do for United Fanatica.
ANARCHY: I’m a governor, concerned citizen, and champion kegstander.
HANK: Do you remember anything from 1884?
ANARCHY: Yeah! But not too much… I know that the UFS York attacked and killed another English cruiser that was going to attack it. The Zulus got computers from the Mongols and proceeded to use them as musical instruments. Lots of trade went all over the place. Man, we were sittin on some serious cashola man. We discovered stealth and started, like, environmentalism or something. Ummm…Oh yeah. There were these red fanatic dudes that popped up near Kazan AND by my own home city of Anarchium. That was bogus.
HANK: Indeed. And in English lands?
ANARCHY: Well, we offered Hastings to come on board with us and they said cool for like 700 gold. It was totally righteous and they were some pretty OK dudes, too.
HANK: Are you telling this court that you paid individuals to rape and pillage their own city and hand it over to you when they were done? That’s despicable!
ANARCHY: Yo, dude, that’s so NOT the….
HANK: I have to stop now. Nothing further.
SID: You know the drill.
KEV: Anarchy, what did the English do when Hastings became a Fanatic town of its OWN VOLITION?
ANARCHY: They like whigged out. They send MARINES to the town, man and shot it all up. Thankfully, we were able to take them down. That was NOT cool.
KEV: No further questions.
SID: Do the people have any more questions?
HANK: No, your Honor.
SID: Next witness.

HANK: The people call Mr. Spice to the stand.
[Mr. Spice to the stand]
HANK: Please tell us what you do for United Fanatica.
MR SPICE: I am a governor there.
HANK: Remember anything from 1885, do you?
MR SPICE: No I don’t.
HANK: Huh?
MR SPICE: I told you at the deposition that I’ve been on holiday on the beaches of lovely St. Leowind.
HANK: Well, if you insist on keeping your silence rather than telling the truth then I’m done with you.
KEV: Your Honor?
SID: Please allow the witness to step down. Mr. The Fifth is now fined 100 gold for wasting the court’s time.
HANK: I’ll call Mr. Leowind to the stand please.
[Leowind takes the stand]
HANK: And your association with United Fanatica?
LEOWIND: Purely a concerned citizen.
HANK: And do YOU remember anything from 1885?
LEOWIND: It was a very good year. New Andu City was founded, my namesake ship took on the city of Swazi and decimated the inhabitants there, the city of Ariel Peninsula was founded, and our sub from Dellville sank a Zulu cruiser while the UFS Kev escaped into Cornmaster.
HANK: Think to English territory – or what was left of it.
LEOWIND: It was the year of plenty for us as the English began flocking to the UF Flag. We took on Exeter for 267 gold, Warwick for 525 gold, Birmingham for 1,180 gold, Richmond for 528 gold, Canterbury for 947 gold and Liverpool for 480 gold. I know that the English also got the secret of Rocketry from the Mongols.
HANK: So you are saying that you were happy to orphan little children and mock them in the streets of our towns?
LEOWIND: Huh?
HANK: I’m done with this one. Get him out of my sight.
SID: Cross? And another 100 gold from Mr. The Fifth for just random stuff.
KEV: Mr. Leowind, did all of the people freely make the decision to become Fanatics?
LEOWIND: They even paid us money as a thank you each time.
KEV: Nothing else.
SID: Recross?
HANK: Sob. Sniff. Cry.
SID: Next witness.

HANK: I call Dexter to the stand.
[Dexter to the stand]
HANK: Sigh. And who are you, now?
DEXTER: Governor of United Fanatica.
HANK: And what have you done to kill harmless Englishpeople?
KEV: I object!
HANK: I’ll rephrase the question. What have you done to kill harmless and DEFENSELSS Englishpeople.
KEV: OBJECT!
SID: Jury will disregard and the prosecution will now spend 1 week in jail after the trial. Try one more time.
HANK: What do you remember from 1886?
DEXTER: Our first spaceship structural came off the line. We began moving howitzers to Liverpool so we could ship them to Zululand. More building and freight stuff. Things like that.
HANK: I’m afraid to ask. How about English cities?
DEXTER: Well, two more happily joined the Fanatics. Norwich for 536 and Manchester for 118. That left only Tugela over near the Zulus.
HANK: And why did you feel the need to juggle the kittens before you fed them to the gators?
DEXTER: I…
HANK: Enough. I’m through with you.
SID: OK, we’re about 2 seconds from a mistrial, but since it seems like that is what Mr. The Fifth is going for, I’ll just say ‘your witness council’
KEV: Mr. Dexter. Were the people happy to fly their new flags?
DEXTER: They all held celebrations and had lots of babies right away.
KEV: Enough said.
SID: Recross.
HANK: Sadly, no. Very sadly. Who wouldn’t be sad if they were in my place?
SID: Next witness.

HANK: The people call Philosopher12 to the stand.
[Philosopher takes the stand]
HANK: I suppose you’re a governor for United Fanatica as well…
PHILOSOPHER: Yes, sir.
HANK: And might you recall events on or around 1887 or 1888?
PHILOSOPHER: Sure. Lots of building and trading kept making us stronger. Two more structurals and a module as well were built for the spaceship. A Zulu sub killed our sub, but we took revenge and sank it anyway. All of our howitzers began to steam toward Zululand. We hit environmentalism in 1888 and started on some future tech. An advanced tribe called Smashold was discovered as well.
HANK: The ENGLSIH! What about the ENGLISH?!?!?
PHILOSOPHER: Well, they became a fundy government at one point that’s about it.
HANK: That’s all.
PHILOSOPHER: Yes.
HANK: Oh, wrong time frame. Take your destructive bent from the stand please.
SID: Excuse me, is there a cross-examination?
KEV: No, you Honor.
SID: Then the witness may step down. Prosecution may call another witness – please be sure it is one that you intend to get some answers from.

HANK: The people call Starlifter to the stand.
[Starlifer to the stand]
HANK: And you are…
STARLIFTER: Governor of Ariel Province and part-time mooner.
HANK: Yes, well, what do you remember up to the time of the brutal ending of the English empire?
STARLIFTER: We discovered another advanced tribe called the Flatlands, discovered some Future Tech, the Zulus discovered espionage, Naples had very little land to work with as mech infantry dotted the land, a Zulu cruiser attacked The Holy Duck Pond and sank under fire from the coastal fortress, a Zulu bomber attacked the UFS York which survived while shooting the plane down, and LOTS of spaceship parts were bought outright since we had SO much cash on hand. We ended up having 37 structurals, 2 components, and 11 modules by 1892.
HANK: Tell me, now that I’m prepared, about the fate of the darling English.
STARLIFTER: Well, quite simply, we offered Tugela some money and showed them what Fanatica was like. For 152 gold they became the last of the English cities to join up.
HANK: Mr. Starlifter, do you expect me to believe this? Do you expect anyone to believe that the LAST of the English would just up and desert their whole way of life? Desert their KING who tried so hard to be a good King and not let his civilization become so bad that they flocked to some Inner Circle run outfit with YELLOW flags? Do you think we actually buy that with all of the puppy and kitten killing and general mean things that you did that the English WANTED to be Fanatics with all of your fancy computers and SOLAR plants and mass transits and cathedrals everywhere. That they want to be part of colonizing some crazy place in the sky? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT US TO BELIEVE???
[Hank curls on the floor in the fetal position, sobbing]
STARLIFTER: Um… yes. That’s the truth. Except about the puppy and kitten stuff.
SID: Perhaps we should take a recess.
HANK: I’m OK your honor. The Prosecution rests.
SID: Mr. Kev.
KEV: I have no questions for Starlifter, your Honor.
SID: And will the defense call any witnesses?
KEV: Actually, no your Honor.

SID: Closing statements, then. Mr. Kev?
KEV: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what has become of the English towns that came to the side of Fanatica. They now have temples, marketplaces, aqueducts, sewer systems, harbors, mass transit, and even things like airports and banks. These things were never provided under their old ruler, and so it’s no wonder they decided to be a part of a civilization that would do something for them. Hank’s insanity aside, his actions against his own former citizens is proof enough that something new was needed. We were happy that we could do so. Thank you.
SID: Mr. The Fifth?
HANK: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury… Please give me back my civilization. I’m begging you.
SID: Enough! No more from you. Clerk, is there anything else pending?
CLERK: No, your Honor.
SID: Then this is in the jury’s hands.

TIME PASSES

CLERK: Civ Court is now back in session, the Honorable Judge Sid presiding. All rise.
SID: Please be seated.
[All sit]
SID: Has the jury reached a verdict?
FOREMAN: We have your honor.
SID: What say ye?
FOREMAN: As to the charge of premeditated and brutal attacks on the citizens of England, we find the defendants NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.
HANK: I OBJECT! This is a travesty. Give me some cities, I’ll get those Fanatics. Let ME have some of those howitzers, I’ll show ‘em. Rule the waves, Brittania….
[Hank is dragged out by bailiffs]
SID: Those of the Inner Circle of United Fanatica….
[Expectant stares]
…
SID: YOU ARE FREE TO GO AND CARRY OUT YOUR BUSINESS.
[Gavel is struck]

 

[Kev]

Here is the save game.

I hope you are all indulgent of your president on some counts:

1. That I did not list all of the builds and the freight trades. That would have taken ages.
2. That I played so many turns. I was just eager to finish off the English.
3. That I interrupted many city builds to fit in spaceship parts.
4. That I used our endless cash to buy SS parts and the Apollo Wonder. It sure beat doing the freight rushing.

Hope you enjoyed. We are nearing the end, and our howies are poised outside of Zululand. Our SS will only take a few more turns and then it's off to the stars.

I will likely play again before June is out. It could be the last...

 

[starlifter]

Very creative, Kev! You must be a novlelist or creative writer in you "other life!" I'm DL'ing the .SAV now, and that will be just fine, in regards to the listing of every improvement bought that you asked about.

So soon, we're off to the stars! Scooby doo!

 

[duke o' york]

Another excellent write-up Kev!

I'm amazed that Sid didn't seem to notice that the jury looked suspiciously like the witnesses would if decked out in fake moustaches and wigs. I suppose the small donation "to his favourite charity" one of our spies made may have made a little difference

Next turn and we're done I would have thought. A great job with rushing so many SS parts. I was going to start a thread about SS production and recommending which cities to build what but there doesn't seem to be any need for it now. No offence to Gale Norton but Minister of the Interior is easy! With a decent President that is.

 

[Dell19]

Are we going to finsih off the spaceship as quickly as possible or wait a bit to capture a few Zulu cities? I'm not going to bother doing another City production thread because there is no longer much point as the game is so near the end.

 

[Alcibiaties of Athenae]

Wow, you guys finished what Corn, Ducky and I started so long ago!

Quite a feat, nicely done boys!

It seems like ages ago that I was the third President, and before that two term war minister, even temporary foriegn minister!

A lot of game play, and it looks like people had a lot of fun, I'm glad I helped with this project.
I remember when Corn wrote out the first constitution, man that was something!

Anyway, congrats again!

 

[anarchywrksbest]

Thats pretty funny man...oh...um..whats a kegstander??

Good work with the English, the Zulu look like they are crapping themselves, all their cities are in dis.

 

[Ren]

Edit 1: Whoops, I stand corrected

Once again, great work Prez'

 

[Kev]

Glad that you all enjoyed. Look for the (probably) final installment around this weekend sometime.

Anarchy: A "kegstand" is basically where you put your hands on the top of a keg and then do a handstand so that you are upsidedown over the keg (usually a few friends hold your legs so you don't have to worry about balancing). Then, someone puts the tap of the keg near your mouth and lets it run while someone else pumps the keg to keep it flowing. The object is to keep drinking for as long as possible - which is a challenge to do upsidedown. I am speaking from experience

'Champion Kegstander' is a very coveted title.

 

[anarchywrksbest]

Aaah yes Ihave donethat many times

 

[Leowind]

Nice to know I could participate in the band and the trial while away on vacation , but once again great write-ups, Kev The end is very near.

 

[Zwelgje]

Look what happens!!!
I'm gone for a week and you guys almost conquer the entire world. Great job Kev, by playing the game and by writing it up.

Just an idea, when you finish the game could you save the game like one turn before the SS arrives? Then we can all enjoy this moment of glory.