Recent content by kill fire

16: The cyberdemon bows to no man. However, you manage to convince him that you aren't worth killing. Yet. 4: You dakka once more, but your gun jams before it can fire, as makeshift firearms have a tendency to do. You'll have to fix it before you can use it again. 5: You arrive at your ship...

SECRET EXTRA SNEAKY ACTION THAT I TOTALLY DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT: 16: You dakka him good. (west india man -15 HP)

Sorry for the long delay folks, I've had some other matters to attend to for the past few days. 17: Summoning incredible strength from within, you hoist Sir Reginald up onto your shoulders and escape with him. You take him to the local vet, and they begin attending to his wounds. Sir Reginald...

Just to remind you:

20(23)(You cannot be serious): You twirl and spin your swords around at an incredible pace in an impressive display of skill. As your crew assails the incapacitated Sir Reginald, you advance on the injured mythmonster2. You call out your attack, "FIVE SWORD STYLE TECHNIQUE: THAT COOL THING...

1(4): You lash out in all directions with your swords, however, before any of them reach their targets, you start to feel dizzy. You slip up and fall on your swords, clumsily cutting yourself up. (-20 HP) 13: You manage to slip between the pirates' legs, and work your way back to Sir...

11: You have great difficulty following his bike, as it's considerably faster than your own. Still, you manage to keep him in your sights. 15: They're mash-tastic. (+10 hp) 1: As soon as you open your mouth to speak, you hear a fearsome "YAARRRRGH!" Suddenly, pirates attack you from all...

Sorry the update is a bit late today. 12: You do a kinda spinny-swirly thing with your sword. It doesn't make you fly, and you nearly hurt yourself doing it. 14: You are the envy of passersby all around the block. 5(6): You attempt to swallow your clover. It tastes terrible, and you...

10: You manage to scrounge up about $.75 and a half eaten cheeseburger. 13(14): After begging in your undergarments for long enough, someone throws a pair of jeans your way. 19: With a sufficient amount of duct tape and glue, you transform your bicycle into an awesome, if somewhat jury...

3: You find a $10 bill on the ground, but instead of using it to pay off your debt, you take another chance on the Knicks. You might need therapy. (+$10 in debt) 2: You and your crew set off for adventure and loot, but you don't get very far before you're attacked by the great landshark Untho...

Sorry, I forgot to clarify how rolls to dodge work. You don't get them against other players, only against third party sources of damage.

17: You stealthily sneak into his house and manage to slip his suit off before he notices you're there. Your are now wearing KaiserElectric's suit, leaving him in his undergarments. 16: Conveniently enough, you see a horse grazing just outside. However, as you approach, the horse raises it's...

You seem to imply that you yourself are not mortal. Like, perhaps, a demon would be?

16: After a sufficient amount of rummaging, you find a steak knife and a sturdy spork. 3: You decide to test your new found abilities by jumping down the stairs to incapacitate yourself. Well, you feel pretty incapacitated alright. (-12 HP, and your arm is now broken. You take a -4 penalty to...

17: You search the armory of your house (the bedroom closet) and find $20, a baseball bat, and a clean suit. 9: You eat some M&M's off the floor. Tasty, but not particularly filling and still pretty gross. 9: You find a quarter on the floor and invest it in Pillsy Pharmaceuticals. 5: You...