Actually, you misunderstand a bit. Jesus did teach tolerance of all people (Well, he didn't say anything about it, but he did act in tolerance of all people.) However, he didn't tolerate all LIFESTYLES. That's the difference. What did Jesus tell the adulterous woman. He didn't stone her (Literally or figuratively) but he did tell her to "Go and sin no more."
In my opinion, the above is the appropriate response to homosexuality.
A lot of things are "Wrong" and we can judge the activity without judging the person. I don't judge the intentions of gay people, but I do consider their actions to be wrong (Assuming they act on those desires.)
I don't talk about it much either, especially since its common knowledge what most Christians think, and gays do get enough crap when people really are hateful. However, telling a gay person he shouldn't act on his gay urges is no more "Hateful" or judgmental than telling a gluttonous person he should not eat so much.