1,000 things not to do at a wedding

87) Die, then rise from the dead and shamble into the wedding.

88) Charge down the aisle on a black horse, covered in black armor, with 3 friends also on black horses and using identical black armor and start pillaging, raping and looting everything.
 
94) Pull out a clarinet and play provocative jazz.
 
96) Recite original haikus about the couple.
 
100) SHOOT EVERYONE AT THE WEDDING INCLUDING THE PREGNANT BRIDE WHO IS YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND, BUT THEN THE BRIDE ENDS UP IN A COMA FOR 4 YEARS.

caps.
 
102) Drop a couple of turds in with the coffin. Save a few and add them using a dirty bottle you pull out of your waistcoat.
103) Get out a crack pipe and have a smoke; when the consternated co-funeralists object, just say "it's just a bit of crack!".
104) Get on all fours and start bawling your eyes out and punching the ground. Scream the name of someone else you thought had died.
105) Bring a cow and sacrifice it during the ceremoney. Then ask the bemused other guests whether anybody particularly wants to eat the anus as it's your favourite part of the cow. Raw of course.
 
102) Drop a couple of turds in with the coffin. Save a few and add them using a dirty bottle you pull out of your waistcoat.
103) Get out a crack pipe and have a smoke; when the consternated co-funeralists object, just say "it's just a bit of crack!".
104) Get on all fours and start bawling your eyes out and punching the ground. Scream the name of someone else you thought had died.
105) Bring a cow and sacrifice it during the ceremoney. Then ask the bemused other guests whether anybody particularly wants to eat the anus as it's your favourite part of the cow. Raw of course.

Wrong thread.
 
106. Throw the cake at the floor and then tell it was a lie anyway
 
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