1000 things Civilization 5 has taught us

Chariot horse archers didn't didn't need to have horses or a k owledge of archery
Modern Infantry don't need rifles
A giant death robot doesn't use robotics
Knights didn't use iron
 
I am not suprised!

I said Schafer was going to shaft it - and he has!

Hex tiles may be better for the graphics but are from a :):):):)ing out of date era of tactical wargames! The idiot introduced them to Civ because he liked them in Panzer General! Not really a good reason - one is a strategic game - the other is a WW2 tactical game...talk about mixing your genres and :):):):)ing things up!

The same goes for 1 upt! That might make sense in a tactical game! Its beyond stupid in a global strategic game where 1 tile can represent a whole fooking island! There was nothing wrong with stacks - or at least no that much that a little tweaking couldnt have fixed! Talk about an overreaction to a problem! This just indicates the complete amateur nature of this release! Hire amateurs - get an amateur product!

I dont play Civ because I want a simple straightforward candyfloss game! I want complexity and micro management - and options, and choices and customisation...

This game has been destroyed by a bunch of noisy smelly greasy spotty virgin nerds who built what about 3 people wanted whilst completely ignoring the majority of the community!

Shame of Sid for letting some little boy ruin a superb franchise!
 
It taught me how wrong the bible is because in the beginning, there was a settler and a warrior. :mischief:
 
Civ V taught me, that people get more unhappy if you win a war, then by loosing it.
( Great, I overun another civ with advanced units, make the mmy puppets..result: my population doesn´t like me for winning the war)

And it taught me also, that any military unit will become an experienced elite one if you let them sit in hostile artillery fire long enough.

Edit: The one with the bible was great :D

Edit 2: It taught me, that "maritime" city states don´t neccesarily need acces to the ocean.
 
You can intentionally spawn henry ford but he'll die immediately (probably from an aneurysm) by building the eiffel tower in one year, by himself, with stuff off a cart.

In fits of teary-eyed laughter for minutes now!
 
Civ V has taught me that every civilization in the world started out with some old man in a teepee talking to his son about a messed up dream he had and then sends him out to make it come true because it's not his father's destiny, but his.
 
Civ5 taught me that even before when the first civilizations formed a city, there has already been many city-states, and a mysterious ''major'' civilization (ie. not a city-state) that's long gone by the time you start your first city. By going through their ruins, you might even find sticks and leather armours which have been around for a long time and haven't decayed, so your warriors are able to put them on and gain a bonus to their attack...but then be beaten by brutes when facing them one on one... Which didn't happen when your now-spearman was a warrior.

Not only can one find sticks and leather armor, but fully functional battle tanks in those ruins :D And survivors...after some thousand years of having ignored a particular ruin ;)
 
CivV has taught me that a major software company doesn't realise that its prime brand has a huge following among players who are interested in the strategy and gameplay and not in resource-gobbling graphics, and consequently don't own and don't want to buy 'gaming' machines.
 
Civ has taught me that it is not possible for a general to order soldiers to move from one side of his empire to the other if he has an army. Instead, he needs to keep intervening to reiterate his orders whenever their paths cross, or something passes through the destination that they're 20 years from reaching.

God I hate this. Don't make me plan out my civ before I start the game. WTH were they thinking? This isn't World of Warcraft and we're not supposed to be speccing out our talent tree.

You don't have to plan your talents out in WOW, you can change them at any time for a trivial amount of gold. Diablo2 skills are more what you're thinking, once you spend them you've got to make a new character to change them.
 
Small cities' boot camps take 30 years to train people to use guns, or hiring them off the street costs about 1/3 as much as building a stock exchange.

You can intentionally spawn henry ford but he'll die immediately (probably from an aneurysm) by building the eiffel tower in one year, by himself, with stuff off a cart.

Patton never made a tower, which is why he was fired.

Sending five guys half way across the world gives you instant and permanent telepathic communication with distant cultures, forever.

Am I doin it right?

made me burst laughing in the middle of class, thanks for that:lol:
 
Rivers form spontaneously out of the ground

You can still be a barbarian and produce armor units, but still live in a mud hut sorrounded by stakes.

Ruins are proof that aliens exist.

Ancient peoples loved swimming pools everywhere, in their temples, circuses, coliseums, hospitals, that they eventually just put everything into the sea.

That the greatest military strategy for an invasion is to embark you entire army and let your opponent shoot it up - God Eisenhower had it all wrong!

That despite your economy being in the drink, at war with the world, and having pretty pissed off population having one famous person off themselves will make everyone work harder and make your country rich - just because you called it a golden age. Hence, someone go tell paris hilton her country needs her help ..

Rat
 
That despite your economy being in the drink, at war with the world, and having pretty pissed off population having one famous person off themselves will make everyone work harder and make your country rich - just because you called it a golden age. Hence, someone go tell paris hilton her country needs her help ..

Lol I thought Justin Bieber had it covered atm
 
That the eye sight of most gamers is so poor, they can only read text that is this big.

That every blade of grass in Medieval Europe had a trading post on it.
 
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