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1000 things not to do at a funeral

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Mad Man, Jun 21, 2010.

  1. Traitorfish

    Traitorfish The Tighnahulish Kid

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    79: Don't claim to be the widow, and encourage others to take advantage of you.
     
  2. west india man

    west india man Immortal

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    80) Play 'Raining Blood' (Slayer) extremely loudly.
     
  3. Kullervo

    Kullervo Mahler/Sibelius Freak

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    81) Read aloud from 'Twilight'.
    82) Show up in a purple tweed suit with yellow polka-dots (One person I knew did this for a funeral in Russia. Talk about rude.)
     
  4. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

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    83: Show up in a superman suit.
     
  5. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

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  6. Mad Man

    Mad Man Your lord and master

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    85.blow the body up in the parking lot and post it on Youtube.
     
  7. Lord Baal

    Lord Baal Deity

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    86. Stick Mentos and Diet Coke in the cadaver so it shoots out of its mouth during the wake.
     
  8. astrognash

    astrognash TXT_KEY_CUSTOM_USER_TITLE

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    87. During the eulogy, shout "Nelson Mandela!!!" and run screaming for the trees/hills/parking lot.
     
  9. Bobbtjoe

    Bobbtjoe Emperor

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  10. Traitorfish

    Traitorfish The Tighnahulish Kid

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    90: Suggest a rousing game of ping-pong to lift everyone's spirits.
     
  11. Fr8monkey

    Fr8monkey Deity

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    91. Yell, "They are still alive!!" and start doing CPR on the body.
     
  12. Lord Baal

    Lord Baal Deity

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    We just skipped from 87 to 89 somewhere there.
     
  13. Mad Man

    Mad Man Your lord and master

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    88. sell the body to the government so they can turn it in to a cyborg.

    back on track, next person should be 92.
     
  14. azzaman333

    azzaman333 meh

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    93. Forget your own name.
     
  15. astrognash

    astrognash TXT_KEY_CUSTOM_USER_TITLE

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    92. Read your favorite humor blog, and laugh uncontrollably.


    There. We're all caught up now. Next one shall invariably be 94.
     
  16. pesgores

    pesgores Deus Vult!

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    95)Laugh at all the references made to God. Then lecture the priest about his career choice and beliefs.

    I'm confusin' ya'll.
     
  17. 7ronin

    7ronin 海軍少佐

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    96) Bump into the coffin and knock it off the bier.
    96) Wipe the departed's brow.
    97) Whistle a happy tune during the funeral.
    98) Berate the family for buying a cheap coffin.
    99) Complement the family that the deceased looks better dead than he ever did alive.
    100) Loudly inquire about who is the odds on favorite to be the big winner in the will.
     
  18. Skwink

    Skwink FRIIIIIIIIIITZ

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    101: show up dressed just like the dead guy and pretend to be him/her.
     
  19. Lord of Elves

    Lord of Elves Suede-Denim Secret Police

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    102: Use the deceased's corpse as a puppet and put on a rendition of, "Othello" with it.
     
  20. Bobbtjoe

    Bobbtjoe Emperor

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