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1000 things not to do at a funeral

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Mad Man, Jun 21, 2010.

  1. Lord Baal

    Lord Baal Deity

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    To get us back on track...

    103. Use the skull of the deceased in an impromptu rendition of Hamlet.
     
  2. astrognash

    astrognash TXT_KEY_CUSTOM_USER_TITLE

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    To get us back on the track we're supposed to be on, and not on the one which has a train coming the other way...

    103. Paint the dead person's face up like Heath Ledger's Joker, and go dressed as Batman.
     
  3. Traitorfish

    Traitorfish The Tighnahulish Kid

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    516 104: Drag the corpse out of the coffin, down the aisle and out the door, crying "Satan, I cast thee out!"
     
  4. danjuno

    danjuno Emperor

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    94. slap the guy who skipped over 94. Then go to a funeral and behave.
     
  5. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

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  6. Mad Man

    Mad Man Your lord and master

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    Who gets first and second place?
     
  7. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

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  8. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

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    104?: When the religious guy is giving the big speech, yell "I AM A MAN!!!" and punch the religious guy in the stomach.
     
  9. Bobbtjoe

    Bobbtjoe Emperor

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  10. Tulx

    Tulx Impossible Creature

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    109: Don't write 4 8 15 16 23 42 on the coffin.
     
  11. Lord Baal

    Lord Baal Deity

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    :lol:

    Vintage Lost reference ftw. Also, I think you mean #106. ;)

    107. Stuff a drugged-up midget into the casket.
     
  12. Magnificent One

    Magnificent One Stetsons are cool.

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    108 : Secretly pour a drink of the body,and say" He pee'd himself!"
     
  13. Kullervo

    Kullervo Mahler/Sibelius Freak

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    109 (?): Come in dark glasses so no one knows where you're looking, bring a boombox, and play Frank Zappa's 'He's so gay' at top volume.
    110 (Could be): After every single comment made, say 'That's what he said', hoping to get lucky.
     
  14. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

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    9865. Let other people talk
     
  15. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

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    112: Moonwalk during the whole funeral.
     
  16. Akar

    Akar Warlord

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    113. Go to the funeral in a black suit, top hat and monocole speaking with an english accent. Then go and slap the widow and say "My goodness, woman! Look at yourself. Suck it up!"
     
  17. Traitorfish

    Traitorfish The Tighnahulish Kid

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    I don't think an Englishman would say "suck it up". Not only is it rather vulgar for that sort of character, it's an Americanism. :p
     
  18. Lord of Elves

    Lord of Elves Suede-Denim Secret Police

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    It's stiff upper lip, said rather dryly though, because otherwise it just comes across as being drunk.

    Stereotypes: making the universe a funnier place.
     
  19. Theov

    Theov Deity

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    38: "Yaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaawn, this is boring as hell! I always liked his birthday parties more. Damn what a bummer! We could have known, he lost his party touch after they said he would die from his testicular cancer anyway. Man that would make fun babies. I'm off getting a drink at the bar, this can last for ages! Who's game, last person at the bar loses!"
     
  20. cardgame

    cardgame Obsessively Opposed to the Typical

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    119. Bring a "congrats on being a bachelor!" cake
     

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