1000 ways you know you played Alpha Centauri too much!

407. You put the soundbites of alpha centauri quotes from your VOICES folder to your Mp3 player
408. YOu actually listen to them on a daily basis
409. Your mp3 player has nothing except those files

 

Now for the adventures of an SMAC addict!

409: You routinely spy on your Chinese neighbor to see if he's gotten PlanetBusters yet
410:The police force you to see a councilor after you scream incoherently about said neighbors red pens.
411. You do so only because that councilor looks like Miriam
412:You explain to your multiplayer buddies that you have to see a "Psych Chaplain"
413:"Miriam" says you need to quit SMAC. You pronounce Vendetta upon the backward fanatic
414She transfers you to a SMAC therapist, he gives you a choice: Quit or be Nerve Stapled.
415. You choose the nerve stapler.
416. As he straps on the contraption, you exclaim "Wait! you cant nerve staple me! I'm a Trancsendi! a Trancsendi I tell you! I’m no drone!" I have the High Scores to prove it!
417.The therapist dies you skin red. You immediately stop your protests about not being a drone and start weeping
418:You never noticed that the nerve stapler is a eggbeater tied to a black box
419: You scream as the faux nerve stapler is suspended above your head even though it never touched you. This results in the therapist winning a reward for research into how the mind can feel nonexistent things.
*End the adventures of an SMAC addict*

420:You have no qualms using worms that induce physic terror and bore through the skull of their conscious victims. But refuse to use quasi-nuclear devices that kill instantly.
421: You can do non-linear mathematics in your sleep, but cant grasp the answer to 2+2.
422Yyou paint yourself grey and wait for the intellect boost

 

423: You are afraid of bird flocks as they might be locust of chiron.

 

424. You've written a series of short stories about yourself, 44 years in the future onwards, as a crewmember of the unity.

(I was a high-ranking doctor under Pravin Lal, though I ended up going with Zakharov's group)

 

425: You insist that all the drinking games you play with your best friend are turn based and you beg not to be nerve stapled while you're in the back of a police cruiser wearing nothing but your underpants.

 

426-You go rob a bank covered with spiderwebs thinking its silksteel armour and expecting bullets to bounce of you.
427-When you die you start crieng for all those wasted longevity treatments of sleeping in your bathtub for months.

 

428. You write to "Pimp My Ride" and ask them to convert your car into a Chaos Rover with Nerve Pods

 

429. You want to be merged with an algortihm so that you can join Aki Zeta-Five.

430. You still want this even though you know that the Cyborgs find "reproduction akward".

 

430. You never fish with live bait: who can tell when those suckers will try to eat your brain.

431. Your friends giggle and make fun of you because your eyes glaze over at the thought of the Atlantean deity "Gaia."

432. All of your "your mom jokes" have punchlines revolving around Thermal Boreholes.

433. You watch the news and are confused when Bush dosen't just Nerve Staple the war protesters, after all, the nation has the Ascetic Virtues and non lethal methods...

 

Oh Yah, forgot...

434. You finish your English term paper with the statement that "this paper, like most things, is best summed up with a quote from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri..." and then back up your defense of military research with "Beware he would deny you information, for in his heart, he pictures himself your master."

 

435. You posted this.

 

It took forever for all those pictures to load ...

 

436. You decided to make your own, modified version of the in-game background music...
437. ...and joined a new online forum in order to find the files...
438. ...only to get caught up in all the awesome threads...
439. ...decide to hang around for a while...
440. ...and get back to SMAC at the earliest opportune moment.

Arrgh, my computer is watching me!

 

441. You find a copy of Alien crossfire even though you don't have access to SMAC (actually did this one.)
442. You only find said copy after an annoying itch to return to Alpha Centauri "one more time."
443. When you find they started with/finally included a faction that shares your philosphy, your eyes moisten (Woohoo, Free Drones!)
444. You are blissfully ignorant of the "Civ 2 in space" hangup until someone else points it out to you.

 

Forgot this one:

445. You push for a political party that shares the same values as your favorite faction... (Actually that one doesn't sound so cheesy)

 

446. When playing Chinese checkers, you suddenly find yourself assigning SMAC factions to the colors.

(Guilty. My mom played the Spartans (black), my grandfather Morgan (yellow) and my little sister Yang (blue))

 

447. You push up a very-very old abandoned "1000 way... topic" in hopes for reaching that critical thousand.
448. You start to estimate the time to do it on your own.
449. You decide to hybernate yourself to live long enough to travel there.
450. And starting to look for the very young Deirdre, Miriam, Morgan and Santiago.
451. Other thoughts on Santiago

 

452: your afraid of anything that appears to be floating on water(including islands) is actually an isle of the deep.

 

453. You mistake a bowl of spaghetti bolognese for mind worms eating some poor scout's brain.

454. You then try to apply said spag bol as a weapon against your neighbour.

455. You are surprised when it just flops to the ground and your neighbour's dog comes along and eats it.

456. You go make another pot of spag bol, repeating the exact process over and over again.

 

458. You decide you'll name your kid Nwabiduke, if it's a boy, and Diedre if it's a girl.

459. You've been on this thread so much, you know whose post I basically just Plagiarized.

First Post! w00t!