1000 ways you know you've played Civ2 too much when...

5076 - You have just recently come out of withdrawls b/c Civ II stopped working. (*)

5077 - You have created more than two graphics mods for the game. (Three strikes, yer out!)

5088 - You write a long, detailed letter to the governor of [insert city name] detailing why it was a bad idea to build on the river, since it was on a Grassland_Shield square and they could have settled 1 mile away and reaped the benifits and gotten an extra shield...

 

5089. Upon seeing two new posts in this thread, you go out to evangelize for the great "Civ2 1000 Reasons Revival."

5090. As part of your message, you preach doom and destruction upon those who do not get a copy of Civ2 before AD 2020 rolls around, as everyone knows that's when "It All Ends."

5091. ...Unless the Swiss can get that Spaceship of theirs to AC in time.

5092. You beleive that the US ended World War II when it built the United Nations.

5093. You think the US owning the United Nations is the reason the Soviets (I mean, Russians) didn't declare war.

5094. You wonder why the US never bothered to simply bribe away all of the Russian cities during the Cold War.

5095. You wonder why GWB declared war on Afghanistan after 9/11, since the Afghans were in Fundy and everyone expected no better from them anyway.

5096. You make preparations for the great "Aztec Revolution" when you hear on the news that enemy forces are advancing on Washington DC (random thought).

5097. You step on the train tracks expecting to be whisked away instantly to anywhere along the rail network and get hit by an oncoming train instead.

5098. You wonder why the Indians haven't terraformed the Himalayas down to Hills yet, since non-resource Mountains only provide Production while Hills at least give 1 Food.

5099. You see a military coup on the news and wonder why, if that nation doesn't have the Statue of Liberty, there is no period of Anarchy.

5100. You reason that all revolutions are really a farce and that governments simply change their political structure at their convenience.

5101. You think the only reason Bush is hunting down al-Queda is to get the 250 gold for capturing Bin Laden.

5102. You think Cruise Missiles can actually capture rouge leaders.

5103. You see a Granary in Cairo and wonder why the Egyptian governemnt hasn't already sold it, since their Pyramids would function just as well.

5104. Meanwhile, your "Church of the Civ2 1000 Reasons Revival" gains enough control over the country to overthrow the government and form a Fundamentalism.

5105. You have finally solved why there is no unhappiness in a Fundamentalist government--the government is run by the Church of the Civ2 1000 Reasons Revival, and everyone plays Civ2 is attain spiritual fulfillment. (In addition, the first 1000 Reasons are taken as the religious law.)

 

5106 - You are happy that the old blood is back. *

5107 - Your anger at S290 snapping away a '00 makes you think of the old days of this thread. *

5108 - You wonder why the Church of the Civ2 1000 Reasons Revival does not worship Sid Meier. *

5109 - You try to start a local branch of the Church of the Civ2 1000 Reasons Revival...

5110 - ...and wonder why you're the only kid in the neighbourhood interested.

5111 - You get teased for still playing "that old game with sucky graphics".

 

5112: One of your early posts was in this thread
5113: You listen to the Civ2 soundtrack while playing other games
5114: You live in a dark room and the only light comes from a screen with Civ2
5115: You recieve food threw a hose because you are to lazy to get away from Civ2
5116: You pray to Sid daily
5117: You actually have a Civ Bible
5118: You view the devolpement team as High Priests within the Civ Church
5119: You plan a meeting of all the members of Church of the Civ2 1000 Reasons Revival.
5120: People from CFC actually show up to said meeting.

 

5121 - You start thinking about saving up for Civ III... vanilla.

 

(Re 5121: Already own it, and C3C. Still like Civ2 better )

5122. Even when your own hard drive turns against you and crashes, you still manage to beat the game you're playing.

5123. You report on C3CFanatic for violating the Three-Reason Rule.

5124. You post a generic fill-in reason to keep yourself from violating the Three-Reason Rule.

5125. You nominate this thread as a Wonder of the World for inclusion in a future incarnation of Civ, but realize that this is self-contradictory, since if it wasn't a wonder in Civ2, it can't be a wonder in the real world either.

 

5126 - You plan to bribe TF into permbanning C3CFanatic for posting a Civ3-related clue in this thread.

5127 - You wish C3CFanatic would keep Civ3 to it's own forum instead of angering us Civ2 guys with it.

5128 - You try to avoid writing "Civ3" at all costs...

5129 - ...and the same with it's sequel.

 

My point was that you are so absorbed in II that you just now start thinking, "What is Civ III, anyhoo?". Sheesh.

 

5130 -You're sitting up at 2 am reading no 5129.
5131- Knowing that you're on the other side of the map from the likes of civs
named C3CFanatic0014 and The Person and feeling safe from attack.
5132- Wishing you had a few more battleships just in case they try to sneak over and attack...
5133-Feeling yourself secure because you're at least 12 hours and therefore 1 move ahead of most of the other civs in this site.
5134- Having "Give me DIETY or give me death!" at the bottom of the page.
5135-Calculating how long it will take to get up to 6,600 hundred posts in these pages.

 

5136-You realise you're the only one visiting the entire Civ2 Forum site and start stressing out at the feeling that all the Civ*** & Civ**** units have ganged up to wipe out the Civ2 units...
5137-A sleepless night wondering when they're coming to get me.

 

5138 - You played the Civ II: Conflicts in Civilization disc, scenario Gulf War, played as Egypt, and instead of playing any part in the war, you build Engineers and develop the Deserts, founding cities near Oases!*

5139 - Playing that same scenario as the Coalition, you find a way to tick off Israel so much you nuke Jerusalem, even though you knw you are supposed to "Find a way to keep this from becoming a nuclear excange".*

5140 - You actually attacked a Battleship/city with a full Carrier, losing your entire Air Force.*

5141 - You flame everyone who says even this:

"Civ III isn't the best, but is isn't THAT bad..." (Please don't flame me for it!!!)

 

I know that. That was what I was trying to get across in the offending clues. We have dozens of such clues. But maybe mine were a little over the line, please let me apologize if they are.

 

5142: The "just one more turn" syndrome causes you to turn down your wife's offer for sex repeatedly--and end up divorced because of it.

5143: But you could care less, because all that matters is exacting revenge on those Aztecs who wronged you.

5144: You devote your entire life searching for the mythical "Test of Time" CD, spending decades at a time digging up archaeological remnants of 21'st Century Humankind, only to find everything EXCEPT the ToT disk.

5145: You finally find the mythical ToT cd in the last year of your life at age 988, only to find out that the CD was broken in two. You're about to slice your own head off with your lightsaber when you notice something scrawled onto a stone tablet beside the disk . . .

"SID MEIER WILL RETURN!"

 

5146 - You just can't figure out why you get no choices on screen when talking to other people.

5147 - You didn't learn of Civ4's release until today because you've been to busy hammering the Mongols in 12 simultaneous games to notice.

5148 - You didn't even know Civ3 has come out since your life has been a continous Civ2 session since 1996.

 

5149- you dont see movement unless there is an atomic explosion

 

5150- You have made an extensive list by hand on each and every way in which civ 2 is WAY better than civ 3 and only want to buy the 4th civ game so that you can mod it to be an EXACT replica of civ 2

5151- After watching footage of Palestinian Millitants in action, you wonder why Israel doesn't just capture the Palestinian leader

5152- You are nearing depression because your copy of civ 2 won't install on your comp since the last HD crash

5152- You are still unsure of who could have attacked the American capital to produce the American civil war in the first place...

5153- You get confused when people talk about more than 8 countries at a time, and wonder which ones have been renamed to what often, as France and Germany obviously can't be in the same world, because when you choose the civilizations, you get a choise out of Germany, France and another civ

5154- You get frustrated about not being able to find the missing civ

 

5155 - You memorized the civ roster and know the third one is the Vikings.

 

5156 - You are surprised that people don't know who the three blue civs are.

5157 - You guess that the reason France and Germany are in the world is because someone has messed with the rules.txt file.

5158 - You beat Skyer's hardest difficulty level...

5159 - ...before 1 AD.

 

5160- You Paradrop into a city and (after you just missed the huge skyscraper) proclaim yourself the new governer. You then wonder why people laugh at you for making this claim.

5161- You then wonder why you walk into a hut and don't get given any prize, when there are residents there, and they are not hostile.

 

5162: You shout out in public, "Communism rules!" (done this)

5163: You walk into work, and your coworkers ask about your latest endevors to take over the world. (This happened too)

Jay