Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by Yoshiegg737, Nov 17, 2010.
Perciles' next goal: Get back to his nation (the borders are blocking it up)
The updates wont have to be every Friday and Saturday
They may come earlier if the workload from school gets any smaller...aaah...nope, guess we'll have to wait till Friday
Go on, continue!
Just two more days...be patient
I once made a game of Lakes, Tiny map, and 18 civs (1 city per civ)
I ended winning by domination hehe
(Carbuncle Shack. Enter Spyros)
SPYROS: Alright everyone! Everyone! Strategic meeting! Strategic meeting!
NICOLAOS: When, sire?
SPYROS: Right now
NICOLAOS: Oh joy!
SPYROS: Anyone else coming to the meeting?
NICOLAOS: Well Pericles is somewhere far away and Mira...
NICOLAOS: I'd rather not say
SPYROS: And lets leave it at that shall we?
MIRA: Strategic meeting?
NICOLAOS: Ah, I believe she has...lost it, sire
SPYROS: I see. Anyway! That strategic meeting...?
NICOLAOS: Well! Ghandi died so theres a large space beside us...and Pacal is very, very close to us
SPYROS: In relationship? Or borders?
NICOLAOS: Both. Declaring war now may band us as a traitor to the world
SPYROS: So? What's the problem with that?
NICOLAOS: Us included, there are a total of 39 civilizations in the world with our information. We may begin a chain reaction and...
SPYROS: World war against us?
NICOLAOS: Exactly. Apparently, the AI's are smarter than they were before and will call up their friends to declare war on us. Plus we have no friends at the moment
SPYROS: Wheres all the other civilization data? Wheres our foreign advisor?
SPYROS: Ah, right...anyway, how do we deal with Pacal?
NICOLAOS: An easy solution is our culture! We can use our culture to capture alot of their land as well as capture the land to the west
SPYROS: How is their culture?
NICOLAOS: Far behind ours
SPYROS: Terrific! Get them angry so they will declare war on us!
NICOLAOS: If they can. We can get help easier too if they attack us
SPYROS: Anyway, we still need a death stack of units
NICOLAOS: Being the military advisor...thats...your job, sire
SPYROS: But while I'm sitting on this awesome cushy chair, I assign that job to you
NICOLAOS: As long as I'm not the foreign advisor, I'm good with anything
SPYROS: Ok! Meeting over!
NICOLAOS: Yes sir!
(Ulundi. Enter Pericles, Afonso, Scout 1, and Scout 2)
AFONSO: Greetings Pericles!
PERICLES: Ah, if it isn't Afonso!
AFONSO: We request help against our war with Lincoln!
PERICLES: But you just declared war on him a few minutes ago!
AFONSO: Well...we always need extra hands!
PERICLES: Have you seen my army lately???
AFONSO: Well...its made up of...1 archer...and...and...uhh
PERICLES: And how would I conduct a war with 1 archer?
AFONSO: So...that would be a...
PERICLES: What do you think...?
PERICLES: Hah what?
AFONSO: Wait...uhh...yeah I should get back to my war
SCOUT 1: You sure told him off m'lord!
SCOUT 2: Wonderful choice of words!
PERICLES: Thank you...thank you. Actually, I could use a drink after that
SCOUT 1: I have a cup of tea here!
SCOUT 1: Where I took out the cup of tea!
PERICLES: Ugh...good enough I suppose. (Drinks Tea)
SCOUT 2: Well, sire? Good? Bad? Mildly exciting?
PERICLES: Well, it tastes different, thats for sure
SCOUT 1: Wonderful!
PERICLES: How exactly is that wonderful?
SCOUT 1: Difference is the wonder of life!
PERICLES: Different wonders?
SCOUT 2: Life?
SCOUT 1: Oh forget it, you both need to be more cultured!
PERICLES: Like that stratergy plan sent to us saying we need to be more cultured?
SCOUT 1: Yeah! I was just doing my part to help out
CETSHWAYO: Greetings Pericles! Thank you for staying in my palace
PERICLES: It's a nice palace
CETSHWAYO: A strange little man gave me this letter and told me to give it to you
PERICLES: Don't you have people to do that?
CETSHWAYO: We are a little bit...in the red. Although, you can always donat...
CETSHWAYO: Hmph. Oh! Here's the letter. The little man said that you had to read it in private
PERICLES: It contains porn?
CETSHWAYO: Not that private
PERICLES: Ok. I guess I'll read it now then
PERICLES: I SAID...I guess I'll read it now!
PERICLES: Everyone get out!
(Exit Scout 1, Scout 2, and Cetshwayo)
PERICLES: Alrighty...lets look at this...threat letter??? (Pericles opens the letter full and reads it.)
PERICLES: (Your time is up, Pericles. Are you ready to die?) What? What nonsense is this?!?!?
PERICLES: All thats left in this letter...whats this? (Pericles pulls out a ragged piece of cloth)
PERICLES: (3. When 3 is out, so are you. You cannot mention the contents of this or your demise will be swifter than anticipated)
PERICLES: 3? I'll die if I can't keep the number 3?!?!? I can't tell anyone...3...3...3 what? 3 what???
(Enter Scout 1)
SCOUT 1: Ah, sire?
PERICLES: My scout!
SCOUT 1: Yes?
PERICLES: Continue your exploration without me. I must head home as quickly as possible
SCOUT 1: Why the sudden change?
PERICLES: Forget the "why" I'm going and I'm going now!
SCOUT 1: Ok...ok...just take this map with you (gives Pericles a rolled up piece of paper)
PERICLES: Thank you...thank you...I-I wish you the best of luck
(Carbuncle Shack. Enter Spyros and Nicolaos)
SPYROS: Ah! Nico! I suppose you have more interesting news than the news you have me earlier?
NICOLAOS: Timmy falling down the well is VERY important news!
SPYROS: Timmy falls down that well every other day! He should be dead by now!
NICOLAOS: Well...Hatshepsut founded Kemetism
SPYROS: That warmongering little...
NICOLAOS: Let me remind you, sire, that she is different from when she was in Pacifist's 18 Civ story
SPYROS: Hah! Snakes always keep their old skin when they shed!
NICOLAOS: Ah sire, that made no sense
SPYROS: Your mother makes no sense!
TIMMY: Oh Buuuuuurn!
NICOLAOS: I thought you were still in the well
TIMMY: Oh yeah, I was supposed to be in there
SPYROS: Aaaaaaaaaaanyway...anything else?
SPYROS: Then begone!
(Carbuncle Shack. Enter Spyros and Nicolaos)
NICOLAOS: We have foreign news!
SPYROS: Mira actually gave you some news?
NICOLAOS: No, I did it myself
SPYROS: A smart man you are
NICOLAOS: Well! We are the worst enemy of Abu Bakr now
SPYROS: What! What did we do to him???
NICOLAOS: Well, he is threatened by our large civilization
NICOLAOS: And his first impression of us is horrible
SPYROS: Bah, I blame that on Mira
NICOLAOS: So what should we do?
SPYROS: What should YOU do?
NICOLAOS: Well, we built a Javalineer
NICOLAOS: Now we have a Javalineer AND an archer!
SPYROS: Javalineers are only good against horses! And no one has any!!!
NICOLAOS: But I just love building new things that was included in the mod!
SPYROS: Get out before I use my katana!
NICOLAOS: You can't hurt me while Pericles is away!
SPYROS: I'll send a letter to Mira saying that you sent her the last 20 new civ's she has written down
NICOLAOS: No! Anything but that! I already lost 2 fingers when I told her we discovered Russia!
SPYROS: Then get back to work! NOW!
(Carbuncle Shack. Enter Spyros and Lincoln)
LINCOLN: Help! We need help against Afonso! NOW!
SPYROS: Why us?
LINCOLN: Just cause
SPYROS: Well I hate Afonso...but were busy so NEXT!
LINCOLN: Arn't you going to give it some thought?
SPYROS: I did! I gave it faster than you could!
LINCOLN: Why you little...
SPYROS: More foreign advisor news?
NICOLAOS: (panting) mabye YOU should get it next time!
SPYROS: Details...details. Now whats the news?
NICOLAOS: Masinissa and Sitting Bull each invented their own religions
SPYROS: So there are currently 3 religions in the world now?
SPYROS: Make sure we get the popular one
NICOLAOS: And if we don't?
SPYROS: I'll make one!
NICOLAOS: Uhh...sire? I don't think thats a good idea
SPYROS: We'll call it...Spyrism! All will worship at my FEET!
SPYROS: Pacal! You now belive in Spyrism!
PACAL: I believe in what?
PACAL: That sounds like trash
SPYROS: I'll make you convert!
NICOLAOS: Sire, this may affect our relationshi...
PACAL: Not before I make you convert to Pacalism!
SPYROS: Haha! I dodge your futile attempt at converting me! With my holy object! This...uhh...(picks up an orange) ORANGE!
PACAL: O_o. Well eat my holy feather!!!!!!
NICOLAOS: I think I should...just go...now
(???. Enter Pericles)
PERICLES: Must keep moving...must keep...agh...my vision is getting blurry again...so blurry...I-I...can't see the map...oh I sure hope I'm going the right way...(stumbles) agh...what did I eat...the tea...? No...not the tea...not...no...urgh...3..3....3.............can't...........see...............what is that I hear? A...civilization? Home perhaps?
(Enter Stranger on a horse)
STRANGER: Halt! Who goes there?
STRANGER: Spit it out you hobo! I have all day but I'm not spending it on you!
PERICLES: I...am Pericles...leader of Greece...
STRANGER: Oh! What luck! To finally meet the one who is topping the point chart! Your large civilization makes me sick
PERICLES: Heh...I must be better than you, hmm?
STRANGER: Silence! No longer shall us small nations walk in your shadow! You there! Carry him into the city!
PERICLES: No...agh...you can't...
STRANGER: HAHA! I just did.
(Paris. Enter Pericles, Stranger, and guards)
STRANGER: Tie him to that chair there.
(A guard ties Pericles to a chair)
STRANGER: Now then, lets have a friendly chat shall we?
PERICLES: Ugh...who...who are you?
JOAN: My name? My title? I am Joan of Arc! Female leader of the glorious nation of France!
PERICLES: Hah...you look...young, Jona
JOAN: My name is Joan! Or Joan of Arc! And don't call me young! You look younger than me!
PERICLES: Says you, Jona
JOAN: Do you know how angry you are making me now?
PERICLES: Actually, I know your making me bored, tired, and hungry
JOAN: (Takes out sword and puts it on Pericles neck) Would you like to trifle with me?
PERICLES: Sounds fun. Why not, hmm?
JOAN: Do you understand if I kill you now, I gain all your cities and land?
PERICLES: Do as you...wish
JOAN: You don't look so well. Are you high or something?
PERICLES: (Cough) Heh...egh.....I'm better than you...will ever be...(No...my vision is fading again...) urgh...
JOAN: (kicks Pericles)
JOAN: Look at me when I'm threatening you!
PERICLES: Theres not much to look at there.
PERICLES: So you must have sent that letter............then......
JOAN: What letter?
PERICLES: You know...THE letter
JOAN: If your trying to confuse or mock me it isnt working
PERICLES: (Darn it...she sounds honest so it couldnt be her) Hah.........how do I.........know your.........tellling........t.......the...........tru..........
JOAN: Whoa! Whoa! You really don't look so well
PERICLES: You......wouldnt look well too........when you have.......walked halfway across........the world......
JOAN: Wheres your map?
PERICLES: Here.....(gives Joan the map)
JOAN: Are you trying to joke with me here?
PERICLES: Do I look like I'm...(cough)
JOAN: This is a restaurant menu!
PERICLES: It....is?.....No....it can...'t be.....(I've been set up to die before I make it home!)
JOAN: Were you trying to make it home?!?!? Thats still a long ways to go!
JOAN: Agh! He fainted!
GUARD 1: You should kill him now and gain Carbunculus! The grandest city in the world!
JOAN: I-I-I can't...it wouldn't be fair to kill him without giving him a proper chance to defend himself
DOCTOR: M'lady! I was called to see you!
JOAN: Y-yes...this man fainted...I need you to take good care of him
DOCTOR: Yes, m'lady
(Exit Pericles and Doctor)
GUARD 5: So, your going to send him back?
JOAN: SILENCE! Who said I was going to do anything of the sort?
JOAN: Well! I-I....I will send him home in the morning
GUARDS: Very well m'lady! At your command!
(Carbuncle Shack. Enter Spyros and Nicolaos)
SPYROS: And that is why I am better than you in bowling
NICOLAOS: But I'm better than you in math!
SPYROS: Who needs math?
NICOLAOS: The world needs math!
SPYROS: We havent even discovered mathematics yet!
NICOLAOS: But when we do, I'll be better than you
MIRA: Guys! Guys! Its...its...its horrible!!!!! Horrible I tell you!
SPYROS: Aww...more work for you?
MIRA: S-s-shut up!
NICOLAOS: Is is about Timmy?
MIRA: No it is not about Timmy!
SPYROS: Then what?
MIRA: A-a-a (runs up and hugs Spyros)
SPYROS: Hey wha?
MIRA: THE LEGEND IS TRUE ITS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPYROS: What? What???
MIRA: The god in the sky has grabbed a nation clean! For having a bad point total! I heard it all!
MIRA: Clean! All thats left is a few improvements that they left on their resources!
SPYROS: Was it Churchill?
MIRA: No! Someone we havent met had a lower score than him! Oh! So...so...horrible!!!!!
SPYROS: Don't worry, were safe Mira...were safe (hugs her back)
NICOLAOS: So...do you have any idea who it was?
MIRA: Well I used to hear about a guy named Julius Caesar when trading contacts with people
SPYROS: You can trade contacts?
MIRA: I didn't actuallly, I just looked at who they were willing to trade. Now I can't find him anymore
NICOLAOS: You think it might be the Romans who were taken?
SPYROS: Darn it! Now I cant make salad jokes!
MIRA: So I did good?
SPYROS: Yeah, good work
MIRA: Thanks! So I can be free now?
SPYROS: Not a chance
(Carbuncle Shack. Enter Spyros and Peter)
PETER: I hate this country and all its leaders
SPYROS: Well, thats a nice way of greeting me
PETER: I hate you so much that I'll let you give me archery for free
SPYROS: Are you high?
SPYROS: Then scram!
PETER: With archery?
PETER: Hmph, I hate you even more now
SPYROS: Good! Nobody cares!
NICOLAOS: Good show!
SPYROS: Good news?
NICOLAOS: Good whale discovered!
NICOLAOS: Good day?
SPYROS: Bah! This is annoying now!
(Carbunculus Entrance. Enter Spyros and Mira)
MIRA: Why are you here?
SPYROS: Why not?
MIRA: My hands hurt like crazy! So happy there are less than 10 new civilizations left...
SPYROS: And you will return to your normal, happy self when its all over?
MIRA: Whadda talkin about? I was always my normal, happy self!
MIRA: YES REALLY! GRAAAAAAAAAAAWR!
SPYROS: Ahhh! Don't eat me!
(Enter Julius Caesar and Suppiluliuma)
SUPPILULIUMA: (Says long speech that makes no sense)
SPYROS: You said that to me already
SUPPILULIUMA: No we never
SPYROS: What are you talking about??? Remember her? She ate your worker!
SUPPILULIUMA: Ah! You must be talking about my twin brother!
SUPPILULIUMA: Yeah! Me and my brother have the same name! And were both leading the Hittite empire!
SUPPILULIUMA: No, silly! We both are leading our own Hittite empire!
SPYROS: So your saying that there is a double civilization glitch?
SUPPILULIUMA: In a word...yeah
SPYROS: Crud! This is gonna be hard during diplomatic discussions!
JULIUS: So, may I offer something?
SPYROS: You didn't die from being dragged in the air!
JULIUS: No, that was someone else I never met
SPYROS: So we will never know who this civilization is?
JULIUS: Not until the game is done and the results screen shows
SPYROS: Alright! I'll forever be curious until then! Speaking of which, were you going to offer me something?
JULIUS: Yep! An embassy!
SPYROS: Arn't you going to offer me anything else...?
JULIUS: Uhh...wait...oh no! Please no!
SPYROS: Saaaaaaaaaaaay it!
SPYROS: Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay it!
SPYROS: Say it right now!
JULIUS: Urgh...Care for some salad? I made it myself...
SPYROS: What salad is it?
JULIUS: Caesar salad...
SPYROS: That must be your face! Ahahaha!
MIRA & JULIUS: -_-
(Carbunculus Entrance. Enter Spyros, Mira, Nicolaos, and Pacal)
NICOLAOS: Again? Thats 2 times in a single chapter!
PACAL: Thought I might want to let you know I spotted a large French army headed your way
(Enter Doctor and large carriage)
DOCTOR: Halt! Hold your fire! We are not here to declare war!
NICOLAOS: A peace offering? What's with the army?
DOCTOR: Lady Jona (cough) Joan, insisted on the heavy security on this cargo
SPYROS: It's...a coffin
MIRA: Pericles? Pericles is in there?!?!?!
DOCTOR: I'm sorry we couldn't do anything...
DOCTOR: About the box
SPYROS: About the wha...?
DOCTOR: That coffin was all we could find to carry your cargo! It's contents are alive and well.
(Enter Pericles dramatically out of the coffin)
PERICLES: Hello my people and friends!
DOCTOR: We picked him up near our borders, fixed him up, and sent him back here
SPYROS: Fixed him up?
DOCTOR: A deadly poison was found inside him
MIRA: Thats horrible!
DOCTOR: We were able to remove it, but he wouldn't tell us anything about how he may have gotten it
PERICLES: Hey guys! Hows the kingdom!
SPYROS: Were in second! Pretty good dispite the fact that our leader was absent for 2 whole chapters!
PERICLES: Well I'm back now! (Shouldn't tell them about that letter. I don't want to put them in danger)
DOCTOR: Well I'll take my leave now, g'day to you all
PACAL: Whoa! It's great I am here to see this happy reunion!
MIRA: We missed you so much, Pericles!
NICOLAOS: And now, I can call you Spyros instead of sire!
SPYROS: No! Keep calling me sire!
NICOLAOS: No way Spyros
MIRA: So what happened?
PACAL: Where were you?
PERICLES: Hold on, hold on. First, let me see our current status
PERICLES: Then, I'll tell you all about what happened since I left...
(Unknown city. Enter ???, Scout 1, and Scout 2)
???: You have done well, my spies
SCOUT 1: Thank you
SCOUT 2: The tea sure worked, didn't it?
???: It did, and I'm sure Pericles got the message of my letter
(Enter Scout 3)
SCOUT 3: Bad news
???: What is it?
SCOUT 3: Pericles is alive and well
SCOUT 3: The French cured him and sent him back to Carbunculus
???: Bah! That idiot Joan of Arc, should have killed her when I had the chance
SCOUT 1: Forgive us
SCOUT 2: Our tea wasent powerful enough
???: Heh...heh...I'm more worried that Pericles may discover who I am
SCOUT 1: He will never know!
SCOUT 2: About his past!
???: SILENCE! I didnt train a bunch of numbskulls
SCOUT 1: Forgive us again
???: I'm the leader of the greatest nation in the world. The nation that will end the life of Pericles. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
To be continued
Great as always.
I rated the thread 5 stars but it doesn't add. Weird..
Relized that I had forgotten to update the first post after I finished writing the last update. Sorry for that
EDIT: And I edited an error on the last post of Chapter 3
Back in Power
Separate names with a comma.