Absolute Monarchy
It's a hoot.
The seventeen-year old King Otto was sitting idly on top of one of the several balconies of his unremarkable Palace in unremarkable Athens in unremarkable Greece. He looked to the East, watching the sun rising from the foamy Aegean Sea.
Some absolute monarch he was, he thought. His regents were giving the Greeks too much leeway, but he couldn't do anything about it until he was old enough. Even then, he knew that the military was just full of Greeks, something really against his favor.
He pondered on this on a cup of green tea, a foul-tasting import from one of the more exotic regions in Asia. He was resigned to being powerless over the country given to him, and took to flights of fancy instead.
He suddenly heard several footsteps accompanied by the buzzing bickering of his three regents. He looked to the hallway leading to the balcony and saw his manservant walking stiffly in front of three energetic old men.
"More tea, sir?" asked Theodoros, the Greek manservant. He was short and stocky, but had a dignified poise that even the most aristocratic of aristocrats can only hope to achieve. The young king—though he felt like he was still a prince—shook his head.
"This stuff is foul, thank you very much," said Otto. "I should have asked for normal tea." Theodoros gave a short, curt nod and walked briskly away. Otto then stood up and turned to his regents who have so far ignored him in their animated conversation. "I want to impose a tax on green tea."
"No, sir!" said one of the regents, seemingly jumping off the group of three in his alarm.
Another quickly followed, saying, "Definitely not, sir!" almost at the same time as the last regent said "We cannot afford rebellion!"
"It's just a tea tax," said Otto, falling into grumbling. "Who would care?" As if tea tax ever hurt anyone, he thought.
"Everyone!" said one, scratching his long moustache.
"We would!" said another. He was scratching his chin.
"The Greeks!" said the third with such ferocity that he stomped the ground for greater effect. Jingling coins fell out of his pocket. Big, valuable coins.
Stupid old aristocrats, King Otto thought. He watched as the regent started picking up his money, quiet with embarrassment. The three were sucking up to the Greeks for financial security; they didn't know a thing about making a kingdom great.
"Do you think father will be well in this war?" asked Otto, going back to his tea, sitting down and facing away from the three. He took a sip and cringed. He wanted to throw the cup off the balcony, but a king should have more manners than that.
"Neutrality!" declared the three, who obviously did not listen to the young king.
"We cannot risk taking sides!" said one of the regents.
"The Greeks couldn't care less," said another, looking off the balcony and at the city proper. "But we have our own positions to protect. This war will be our ruin if we enter it."
"We cannot help your father," said the third. The old man then turned to his companions, saying, "Do you think the king will be well?"
"Oh, definitely, definitely, but we shouldn't concern ourselves" said one while another said, "Yes, yes, but we have Greek matters to attend to." The three then fell into their usual excited and impenetrable conversations.
King Otto sighed. He then said, "Do you think I can claim the Ottoman throne? I am, after all, King Otto."
"Oh definitely," said one regent absentmindedly.
"Go for it, prince," said another.
"Hush now, we're talking," said the third.
King Otto continued sipping his green tea, thinking of the most painful ways he could get rid of the three idiots. When his legal power would fit his title, his first act will be to get rid of the regents. Oh yes, but he will not stop there. He would also exile them to some far-off island to live off a tiny pension, a pension he will never raise in a hundred lifetimes.
Clearly, he was taking off in another flight of fancy and thought: Ah, it will be good to be the king.