So, things are going chaotic in my life.
Well, I am probably going to a Jesuit High School, and from what I have heard, people like me (nerds/liberals) aren't really accepted in their society. Do I just abandon my personality in order to fit or do I keep my personality and risk getting bullied?
Also, I have fallen into a cycle of anger and hate after getting rejected by the girl I loved most. How do I stop this?
Finally, I am questioning my sexuality and maybe even gender. How do I find out who I am true?
If anyone can give advice, please do so.
Hm. Well, I'm not a guy and it's been decades since I was a teenager. But I remember high school and the importance of trying to fit in somehow. I also remember bullying, but it was nowhere near the hell that junior high was.
1. Did you choose this school yourself, or is it your parents' choice? If your parents chose it and you'd prefer a different school, is it possible to persuade them to change their minds?
2. Unless your personality is of a criminal nature or someone who is cruel, or who revels in denying reality, you are who you are. If trying to change to avoid being bullied would make you a lesser person according to your own conscience, then I recommend finding a way to make them (whoever "they" are) accept you as you are. High school is temporary. The years after that are the rest of your life where your fellow students may never be part of.
You're into D&D... there's actually nothing stopping religious people from playing D&D. Demons and hellfire are not compulsory in that game. It's up to the DM what to include. There's someone I used to know in the SCA who is also into D&D. He and his wife have been trying to get me to join in a game with them (problem being that health issues have made my life less mobile these days). My friend and his wife are believers, and that might seem odd to the folks here who know I'm atheist - but as long as a RL believer DM leaves RL faith out of the game, it's not a problem.
Try being the only kid in a Grade 9 class who's into Star Trek and reading Asimov essays and astronomy reference books for fun... my classmates thought there was something terribly wrong with me.
In high school the clubs became my social life. School newspaper, yearbook club, and poetry club (we put out a volume of student-written poetry and short stories every year). I actually had two teachers fighting over me one day in Grade 12. The two clubs met on the same day of the week, and one teacher glared at the other: "You're trying to take my typist!" (I was the only one of the club who didn't mind the finicky job of typing students' names on the designated areas of the layout; this was in pre-computer, pre-photocopier days when we did this stuff with carbon paper and stencils).
The other teacher came back with "You're trying to take my Grade 12!" (the grade 12 students were expected to mentor the younger students and had the most input as to which submissions would be included in the book; that year I was the only Grade 12 student who regularly turned up to meetings; though another eventually joined; we were the ones who typed the whole thing up before sending it to the printer).
So I compromised: I'd alternate the weeks I went to the meetings (neither teacher was willing to change the day of the week), would stay after school to work on the yearbook if they could find me a quiet spot with a typewriter and room to work undisturbed, and took several stacks of submissions home from the poetry club to do the initial sorting of yes, no, maybe... the yes and maybes would be discussed at the meetings themselves.
In short, there's usually a way to make things work out.
Does that school offer students a way to make a bit of money by helping out? My high school paid the students who worked in the cafeteria and the library. I never went near the cafeteria if I could help it, but I spent two years working in the library. It paid better than babysitting at the time, and one of the perks was being able to use a back room (where most of the AV stuff was stored) for studying, as there was a desk in there.
About relationship stuff... there are folks here who can give you better advice than I can. All I will say is that my view is that it's better to be actual friends first before moving to the 'girlfriend' stage. There are numerous threads in OT about "how do I get/keep a girlfriend", and one thing I recall posting in those is the finding a girlfriend is not like shopping for a new computer. You're looking for a relationship with another human being, not a possession. The other person gets an opinion, too - and the option to accept or reject you and expect you to be civil about it.
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