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Ad Infinitum: The Rise of Peter

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by Dumanios, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
    Messages:
    4,857


    Elder: My Lord! We should settle here!
    Peter: Nope, move southeast, and then settle.
    Elder: OK...
    Peter: And you scouts! Go Southwest!
    Scouts: Yes sir!
    Peter: Elder, invent the Wheel!
    Elder: What's that?
    Peter: It's a circular thing that goes on carts.
    Elder: Oh, OK!



    After several years of going southwest, the scouts meet a new civilization!



    ???: Senatus populusque Romani saluto vos, Peter. I am Julius Caesar. I love the name of honour more than I fear death.
    Peter: Then why do you wear a dress?
    Julius Caesar: This is not a dress! :mad: This is a toga!
    Peter: How about we save the fighting for later then?
    Julius Caesar: Yes, my armies aren't nearly prepared for war.

    Meanwhile, the first group of warriors was trained.

    Warriors: My life for the Tsar!
    Peter: Perfect! You guys shall be city guards!
    Warriors: Yes sir!



    A bit later, the scouts found another empire.



    ???: Welcome to the beautiful land of Germany. It is probably more beautiful than yours.
    Peter: How dare you?! Russia is so much better than Germany! :mad:
    ???: King Ludwig thinks otherwise. :king:
    Peter: Well, you need a haircut!:mad:
    Ludwig: How dare you?! :mad:
    ???: Please, no fighting!
    Peter and Ludwig: -grumbles-
    -Ludwig leaves-
    Peter: I so could have beaten him in a fight.
    Gorbachev: Nonsense, that is not a kingly thing to do.



    Gorbachev: See, you already have a worst enemy!
    Peter: :sad:
    Elder: We've invented the wheel!
    Peter: :eek: :D Now invent agriculture!
    Elder: What's that?
    Peter and Gorbachev: It's using the land to grow food.
    Elder: Oh.
    Messenger: You have a visitor, milord.



    ???: Greetings, Peter! It is an honoyr to meet you. May your merchants supply us with all the weaponry we need to bring about you downfall. Inshallah.
    Peter: Who is this guy, I don't like him.
    Gorbachev: He is Saladin, the leader of the Ayyubid Sultanate.
    Saladin: The scarred one is correct, will it be peace, or war.
    Peter: :mad: I say it will be-
    Gorbachev: Peace!
    Saladin: We accept your offering.



    Messenger: Milord, we have confirmation that the religion called Hinduism has been founded in a far away land.
    Peter: Where?
    Messenger: In a far away land called Arabia!
    ???: Welcome! I am Abbas and can do no wrong. Please, all are welcome in my kingdom.
    Peter: Oh, cool turban, where can I get one?
    Abbas: At the Walmart.
    Peter: Peace it is! :D
    -Abbas leaves-
    Gorbachev: :eek: You didn't insult or try to declare war on him!



    Peter: Anyone else?
    :egypt:: Greetings, I am Hatshepsut!
    Peter: Well, hello there. :groucho:
    Hatshepsut: Will it be peace between our two nations?
    Peter: Oh yes, it will.
    -Hatshepsut leaves-


    The world in 3000BC

    Peter: Hey, I'm not Ludwig's worst enemy!
    Dumanios: What victory shall the Russian Empire go for? Will it be Domination, Conquest, Culture, Space Race, or Diplomatic? You decide!
     
  2. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Hopefully Peter get's treated better than in my story :p I vote Diplomacy!
     
  3. Yoshiegg737

    Yoshiegg737 Jungo Jungo

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada
    No! Go for Domination!
     
  4. spaceman98

    spaceman98 Plotting something

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    3,587
    I vote... Diplomatic:p
     
  5. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

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    In America's hat.
    I vote for Ludwig getting a new Haircut! uhh, Domination :p
     
  6. MoreEpicThanYou

    MoreEpicThanYou The most Epic.

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    Location:
    Not Canada :P
    Domination.
     
  7. Radio Noer

    Radio Noer The Devourer

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2010
    Messages:
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    Location:
    The Old Northwest Territory
    Conquest, Domination is for those who don't want to watch the world burn. Let's face it, everybody loves a big bonfire.
     
  8. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    I choose time :smug:
     
  9. Mr. Sulu

    Mr. Sulu Liberal Democrat

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    193
    Domination! Make the world fear the words, "Russian Empire":ar15::ar15:.
     
  10. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    4,857
    Dumanios: It is settled! There are five votes for domination, two for diplomacy, one for conquest, one for time, and nothing for culture and space race, because they're boring.
    Gorbachev: Hey, we won a space race victory!
    Peter: :sleep:
    Dumanios: To help you in your quests for world domination, I have selected a suitable adviser.
    Gorbachev: Fine, bring him in, what's the worst that could happen.
    [Doors open]
    Peter: Oh God.
    Gorbachev: You've got to be kidding me.
    Elder: Who's he?
    Warriors: Who that guy?
    ???: Are you guys ready for some CRUSADES!?
    Peter, Gorbachev, and the Elder: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad: :eek: :cry:

    Lenin: We should attack Frederick!
    Peter: He's not on this map.
    Lenin: Then we'll take the crusades to Greece and that wimp, Alexander!
    Gorbachev: Greece doesn't exist.
    Lenin: :mad: What about that salad-eater, Caesar!
    Peter: Actually, he does exist on this map.
    Lenin: Yippee, now we kill him, right?
    Peter: Not yet, I have a score to settle with someone else.



    Gorbachev: You still have that grudge?
    Peter: He called our beautiful land ugly! :mad:
    Lenin: CRUSADE!:D
    Peter: Not yet, we don't have anyone to attack him with.
    Lenin: Then train an army! :mad:
    Elder: We know what those strange animals are to the north!
    Peter: Cows?
    Elder: No, horsies!



    Peter: Interesting...
    Elder: Now we're learning how to ride the horsies! :D
    Lenin: :D
    Messenger: King Peter, Sir Gorbachev, and who ever he is, we have intelligence that Ludwig I has a settler!
    Peter, Gorbachev, and Lenin: :eek:
    Lenin: My name is Lenin! :mad:



    ???: Welcome, oh leader of the Russian Empire. I am Genghis Khan. It is not sufficient that I succeed, all others must fail.
    Peter: :mad: I do not fail!
    Lenin: Neither do I!
    Genghis Khan: Oh, it's you two again. Where's the leader?
    Peter: I am the leader!
    Genghis Khan: But what happened to Catherine?
    Peter and Gorbachev: Who?
    Lenin: She's uh... running some errands! And can not attend right now!
    Genghis Khan: Then peace it is.



    Messenger: We've met someone else!



    Lenin: I don't follow.
    Peter: What's the matter, cat got your tongue?
    Gorbachev: What if he doesn't speak our language?
    Lenin: Hmm... War Mong Ger! Mong Ger War Lenin! :D
    Gorbachev: I guess we'll have peace.
    Liu Bei: The Mot Heavenly Kingdom of China thanks you.
    Peter, Gorbachev, and Lenin: :confused:



    ???: Greetings, Peter, and welcome to India - a land filled with beauty, charm, and adventure!
    Peter: Welcome to Russia, we have horsies and Cows!
    ???: I, Nehru, sign this pact of peace!
    Peter: Good! (Didn't see that coming).
    Ludwig I: Why have you summoned me, Russian schwein?
    [Nehru leaves]
    Lenin: Prepare for a crusade!
    Peter: Time to die, mad brute!

    The Battle of Hamburg:
    2 Russian Chariots and 4 Russian Warriors vs. 1 German Warrior.
    Outcome: 1 dead chariot, 1 dead Kraut, and Hamburg razed.

    Lenin: Haha, we burned your hamburger!
     
  11. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

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    Location:
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    :lol: :goodjob:
    Hey is it me or Ludwig appears to suffer from microcephaly?
    I mean, as well as needing a new hair haircut...
    Wait, I have an idea!
    *opens paint*
    :mischief:
    Spoiler :
    Whats up Bltches!
     
  12. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Hmm... This sounds familiar :p

    Lenin: Yay! Now I'm in 2 stories and 1 tv show! Where's my agent? :D
    Catherine: :facepalm:

    Nice Update :goodjob:
     
  13. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    MaxWar, you sure that isn't photoshopped!!1
     
  14. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

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    No its all made in Paint! :smug:

    *Captain Asoka was made in Gimp however*
     
  15. Jwitti

    Jwitti Judas Maccabeus

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    Neat!! so this is that mysterious other story Lenin was in....
     
  16. MoreEpicThanYou

    MoreEpicThanYou The most Epic.

    Joined:
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    2,141
    Location:
    Not Canada :P
    I wish my characters had at least cameos... Then again, all I have is the Narrator, the Emperor, the Premier, and the Colon-ized Citizen.

    Anyway, great update!

    EDIT: Can I be Lenin's agent? :D
     
  17. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Sure :D

    brandon.herren: You now have an agent, named MoreEpicThanYou!
    Lenin: :woohoo:
    Catherine: An agent? :facepalm: There must be a lot of idiots in the world, for Lenin to have such high ratings...
    Lenin: Yeah, and your one of them :p
     
  18. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Lenin, Peter, and Gorbachev: Hey! :mad:
    Peter: Your silly German Kingdom will fall.
    Lenin: In it's place, the Free Socialist Republic of Germany shall rise!
    Ludwig I: Pah! I have no time for such simplicities!



    Lenin: My great army has recovered! Go, my great crusaders! Go and fight!
    Russian Army: Hurrah!
    [Russian Army leaves]
    Peter: I can't believe he built a city on the deer.
    Gorbachev: What a fool.
    Messenger: We have intelligence that a far away land has built a Great Wall to keep barbarians out!



    The Battle of Berlin
    4,000 Warriors and 3,000 Chariots vs. 2,000 Archers and 1,000 Warriors

    Although the warrior charge went badly, resulting in only 100 Archers dying, at the price of all 4,000 Warriors, Chariot charges were able to ride in and slaughter the remaining German archer garrison, along with the 1,000 Volksturm, armed with clubs, shovels, hoes, picks, and whatever else they could find. Nevertheless, the German Kingdom was defeated, and Ludwig I, along with his wife, Therese, committed suicide in the palace before Russian forces could completely defeat the Royal Guard.



    Berlin and the surrounding area was admitted as the Free Socialist Republic of Germany.



    ???: Chroesawa ddieithr! We are the Celtic, and I am their leader, Brennus. Woe to the vanquished -- will you share peace, or die?
    Peter: Let us have peace, so that we can rebuild our forces.
    Gorbachev: Yes, we shall have peace.
    Brennus: Good. No good can come from war.
    [Brennus leaves]
    Lenin: I think he's lying.


    The Russian Empire, along with the Free Socialist Republic of Germany
     
  19. MaxWar

    MaxWar Chieftain

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    Building a city on the deers was his doom.
     
  20. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    Settle Armenia before the Arabs/Iranians get it!
     

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