Ah, the job hunt.

[onejayhawk]

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it ... mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory--I tried but I just didn't fit in and I didnt like Nike.

I became a fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance
company, but the work way just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

So, then I retired ... and found out I was perfect for the job.

J

 

[Alex the Great]

I had no idea so many puns could be put to so many occupations. I love it. I especially love the orange juice one and the historian one.

 

[Mrogreturns]

You forgot to mention your stint as a comedian that you had to give up as everyone kept laughing at you.

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

AHHHHHH!!!! Someone stop the puns!

 

[Lord Paul]

That's a funny but long joke! Same to you Mrogreturns, except for the long part.

 

[onejayhawk]

Originally posted by Mrogreturns
You forgot to mention your stint as a comedian that you had to give up as everyone kept laughing at you.

I also forgot being a mortician, because it was deadly dull and I had to get up every mourning.

J

 

[Mrogreturns]

Originally posted by onejayhawk


I also forgot being a mortician, because it was deadly dull and I had to get up every mourning.

J

He he.. .

Then you were a fisherman, but got sick of it and threw your line in.

 

[Superevie]

I was a lawyer, but quit because there were too many rules.

 

[Yaniv]

My self-made share:

First, I thought of becoming an Eye Doctor, but I just couldn't see anything in it.

Then I tried to be in astronaut, but my mind kept wandering off into space.

When that failed, I enlisted in the army, but they quickly gave me the boot.

Then I became a clock maker, but that was just a waste of time.

And my personal favorite:
I then decided to become a fireman, until I got fired (notice the meaning of the word "fired").

 

[puglover]

Oh how I love puns!

 

[onejayhawk]

I was a judge, but I had so many disputes to settle, that I had to court a clerk. Then I got benched.

I was a clerk, but was judged inadiquate.

I thought I'd give juror a try. I liked the seclusion, but I have a bad allergy of cases.

J

 

[agent99]

Wanted to be an author but I just didn't feel write

Wanted to be a masseur but I had a stroke

surgeon....just couldn't cut it.

mechanic...had a breakdown

 

[vbraun]

Very funny

 

[Aramazd]

 

[onejayhawk]

Was a psychoanalyst, but I couldnt make change.

Was a letter carrier, but I went postal.

Was and actor, but I got tangled up in my lines

Was a fisherman, but never caught on

Was a pool shark, but I lagged behind and didnt get the cue.

J