This is far stupider than the Aztecs vs Spartans thread, and that was epic.
After failing to conquer India, Alexander looks toward the west. So ambitous to conquer more territory, most specifically India and China, he looks toward the atlantic ocean. He assembles the whole of his army and sails to the west. They were fortunate as they were able to survive the long journey. They spot land and head toward it, unknowingly sailing into the Bermuda Triangle. Time and space warps around them and after a thick fog, they spot yet another coast. The whole of his army take camp on the coast. They send out scouts. And after many a days, they return with news and descriptions of a large city. Quickly, Alexander gathers up his forces and march toward there, not knowingly that they were to face the might of the Incan Empire in thier prime.
Because Alexander is magic? After failing to conquer India, he then attempt to conquer something further away? His army, which refused to march further east, suddenly thinks attempting to cross the
Atlantic bloody Ocean is a good idea?
And the Bermuda Triangle makes people disappear, not go to Peru. And no jokes about how they're the same thing. And how exactly did they end up in the Pacific? Did they somehow cross the Panama Canal without knowing it, before it was constructed?
Alexander did not possess the technolgoy to cross the Atlantic in the first place. While there is some evidence of Phhoenician, Carthaginian and even Roman vessels making it to Brazil and Central America, it was almost certainly by accident, and there is no evidence of a two-way trade. Therefore, there is no way for the Greeks to have known there'd be anything on the other side. They knew the world was round, and simple mathematics tell you that they'd starve to death long before making China, if America wasn't there. And they didn't know it was.
And Alexander, known for his brilliance in conqquests, just decides to march his troops towards the first city? No questions of logistics, morale,
whether or not his own troops would have hanged him for getting them in this situation? You really need to read a little on warfare. Hell, how'd they not starve to death, even after arriving in the Americas? It's not like they knew what plants were edible. And I'm pretty sure there weren't enough meat animals just wandering about to feed a Greek army.
Alexander the Great the whole of his army vs The Incan Empire
A clear victory to the Incas. Who, you know, had reinforcements at hand, spoke the language, knew the terrain, had cities, were defending themselves from magical invaders, etc.
- Diseases stay nuetral ( >.> )
Not possible. The Incas would likely start dropping like flies from Western diseases before long, as all Native Americans did. But not so quickly they couldn't wipe out the magical Greeks.
Besides, we all know that diseases aren't neutral, they invariably side with Europeans against Americans, Polynesians, Melanesians and Australians, Africans against Europeans, and Asians against Europeans. Now Asians versus Africans, that would be an interesting choice for the diseases. Which side would they take?
- Alexander the Great's armies are well equipped
After a long sea voyage? Without the technology to even cross the sea. No.
- The Incan Empire notice the white intruders from the east and act accordingly.
By wiping them out with a coke and a smile? We're not dealing with the Conquistadores showing up after a civil war here.
And wouldn't they be coming from the West? After all, you transported them to the Pacific. Unless you're saying that they landed in Columbia, then crossed the jungle without dying from disease and hunger and without being slaughtered by the natives. Hey, here's an idea. Maybe Alexander's Greeks were the legendary White Indians of Columbia?!!!! Too bad those dastardly Spaniards wiped them out.
- I dont care about the technical unlikelihoods, improbabilities, and furthermore impossibilities of such a scenario....
Well everyone with sense does. After all, this argument is entirely pointless in every conceivable way. You might as well have an alien spacecraft land in an English village during the Crusades, have the locals mistake the aliens for the French, then take control of the spaceship and build a galactic empire. Oh, wait...
Obviously. Try to start threads using a bit more logic next time. This is the most out there thing since Fifty posted a joke thread about Alexander, Hitler, Napoleon and various others coming back to life and leading an army of undead, or some-such.
What do you think happens?
Alexander gets royally raped. He might take the first few cities by surprise, even beat a small army or two. Then die. If his own troops didn't murder him. Which they would.
And simplicity alone is not necessary for a good counterfactual: for example, right now I'm writing about the possibility of Eumenes of Cardia electing to keep his army dispersed during his Central Iranian campaign against Antigonus Monophthalmus in the run up to the Battle of Gabiene. But we basically agree.
