Are Manners Outdated?

[SS-18 ICBM]

What really gets me about manners is when I'm in a store and paying for something. The clerk will say, "That will be 10.56."

I'm tempted to ask, "10.56 what?"

Of course, if I do, they won't get what I'm trying to prompt. They'll respond, "Ten dollars and 56 cents."

What I'm really after is "$10.56, please."

And hopefully after that, they'll say "thank you." But it hardly ever happens these days, because clerks have the bizarre idea that saying "please" and "thank you" is beneath their dignity.

One time at the grocery store, the clerk handed me my change and said, "There you go."

"Where?" I asked her. When she looked blank, I told her, "You said 'there you go'. I just want to know where you think I should go."

Sometimes, if the clerk has been at least this rude or even ruder, I take the time to complain to their supervisor or the manager. I really don't think they should find it a hardship to say "please" and "thank you."

And don't even think of calling older women "guys"... at least around my mother, because she'll tear a strip up one side of you and down the other and then use sandpaper on it...

I'm pretty sure working in retail is one of the best ways to become a misanthrope.

 

[Formaldehyde]

That was a good read. Rude, or just too familiar?

That's the thing about New Yorkers. They usually aren't hesitatant to tell you how they feel unless there is a damn good reason not to. When I moved back to Florida, my brother was worried that I would tell off a redneck and get myself killed.

When he once visited me in Manhattan, I had a similar fear about him. We were in a fancy restaurant in Little Italy. Across from us was this fiftyish mafioso type and his twentysomething girlfriend. The private stretch limo was parked outside and the armed bodyguards were standing in the corner. They had been engaged in conversation but it was too low to tell what was being said. Suddenly, he slapped the woman across the face quite hard. Everybody in the restaurant had to hear the noise, but they were suddenly all busy trying their best to mind their own business. The only exception was my brother who was staring at the guy. I leaned over and whispered "be cool, be cool". You aren't in Kansas anymore...

I was on the subway one day when a man and a woman were having a knock-down drag-out fight over something in Spanish. A white guy in his thirties decided to be chivalrous and tried to intercede on the woman's behalf. They both started attacking him, and he was forced to retreat to another subway car. At least it stopped them from fighting each other...

 

[Huayna Capac357]

I'm pretty sure working in retail is one of the best ways to become a misanthrope.

Yeah, they all say "There you go."

 

[Mise]

Well, there are good reasons for being polite, and there are bad reasons for being polite. Holding the elevator door open for girls allows me to have conversations with them in an enclosed space where there's nowhere to run or hide or pretend they can't hear me. Holding a regular door open for girls allows me to make all-important eye-contact, and to look down their tops as they walk past. Letting girls go through an open door or walkway before me allows me to watch their arses wiggle as they walk in front of me.

I am a very polite person.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Yeah, they all say "There you go."

I meant losing courtesy for the customers.

 

[Perfection]

I slam doors in people's faces.

 

[Oruc]

I usually just attempt to keep the door open while walking away from it if someone is behind me. I think I have only held the door open for prams and old people.

Spoiler :

Of course manners aren't outdated. Just because a lot of people don't seem to have been taught any is no reason for such pessimism.

It's never wrong to hold a door open for anybody. It's helpful and can make the difference between a person having a crappy day and a not-crappy day.

The moderators on this very forum are tasked with making sure we mind our manners in the way stipulated by Thunderfall. I think they do a pretty good job, for the most part.

What really gets me about manners is when I'm in a store and paying for something. The clerk will say, "That will be 10.56."

I'm tempted to ask, "10.56 what?"

Of course, if I do, they won't get what I'm trying to prompt. They'll respond, "Ten dollars and 56 cents."

What I'm really after is "$10.56, please."

And hopefully after that, they'll say "thank you." But it hardly ever happens these days, because clerks have the bizarre idea that saying "please" and "thank you" is beneath their dignity.

One time at the grocery store, the clerk handed me my change and said, "There you go."

"Where?" I asked her. When she looked blank, I told her, "You said 'there you go'. I just want to know where you think I should go."

Sometimes, if the clerk has been at least this rude or even ruder, I take the time to complain to their supervisor or the manager. I really don't think they should find it a hardship to say "please" and "thank you."

And don't even think of calling older women "guys"... at least around my mother, because she'll tear a strip up one side of you and down the other and then use sandpaper on it...

Strange you seem rather rude and pedantic to me.

 

[Azale]

Of course manners aren't outdated. Just because a lot of people don't seem to have been taught any is no reason for such pessimism.

It's never wrong to hold a door open for anybody. It's helpful and can make the difference between a person having a crappy day and a not-crappy day.

The moderators on this very forum are tasked with making sure we mind our manners in the way stipulated by Thunderfall. I think they do a pretty good job, for the most part.

What really gets me about manners is when I'm in a store and paying for something. The clerk will say, "That will be 10.56."

I'm tempted to ask, "10.56 what?"

Of course, if I do, they won't get what I'm trying to prompt. They'll respond, "Ten dollars and 56 cents."

What I'm really after is "$10.56, please."

And hopefully after that, they'll say "thank you." But it hardly ever happens these days, because clerks have the bizarre idea that saying "please" and "thank you" is beneath their dignity.

One time at the grocery store, the clerk handed me my change and said, "There you go."

"Where?" I asked her. When she looked blank, I told her, "You said 'there you go'. I just want to know where you think I should go."

Sometimes, if the clerk has been at least this rude or even ruder, I take the time to complain to their supervisor or the manager. I really don't think they should find it a hardship to say "please" and "thank you."

And don't even think of calling older women "guys"... at least around my mother, because she'll tear a strip up one side of you and down the other and then use sandpaper on it...

Whoah chill out man.

 

[Oruc]

Whoah chill out man.

say please!

 

[Zack]

I am always sure to mind my p's and q's.

 

[Gooblah]

I hold doors open for people...what's wrong with that? Most people take it as a sign of being polite and smile and walk through. The 5% that don't are either radical feminists (Are you holding this door open only because I'm a girl?) or total douchebags (I'm so much more macho than you. I don't need this door opened). The feminists then have the door slammed on their faces while they're still talking, and the douchebags are tripped.

 

[El Koeno]

During my internship in Costa Rica I really had to get used to all the guys waiting for the girls to board the bus. I don't regularly do this back home (though I can be quite polite), but if everyone does it, you'd have to be a real jerk not to join in.

 

[LucyDuke]

What really gets me about manners is when I'm in a store and paying for something. The clerk will say, "That will be 10.56."

I'm tempted to ask, "10.56 what?"

Of course, if I do, they won't get what I'm trying to prompt. They'll respond, "Ten dollars and 56 cents."

What I'm really after is "$10.56, please."

And hopefully after that, they'll say "thank you." But it hardly ever happens these days, because clerks have the bizarre idea that saying "please" and "thank you" is beneath their dignity.

They're treated all day as though they're not human. I don't begrudge them acting like machines. These poor people have jackasses yammering away on their cellphones throughout the entire transaction, they're whined at for things that aren't their fault, and they're paid peanuts. They're not asking you for a favor, or trying to be polite, they're just saying "your turn".

Yeah, it's nice when they actually act like people, but a retail manager that hears that one of her cashiers didn't say "please" is more likely to laugh than to care. Unfortunate truth.

One time at the grocery store, the clerk handed me my change and said, "There you go."

"Where?" I asked her. When she looked blank, I told her, "You said 'there you go'. I just want to know where you think I should go."

Why?

I reject the idea that it is sexist to open a door for a lady. They deserve the respect of us piggish men simply by virtue of the fact that they are women. It is not a sign of viewing them as inferior in any way. If fact, it is quite the opposite. All these little courtesies are an attempt to honor them.

That's what the fundie Muslims say about burqas...

How about if we're just all polite to each other? If I opened a door for you, would you go through it, or would you give me crap?

It's fine to discard old customs.

Yeah, who needs civilized society, amirite?

 

[Jet]

^ I'll debate the point if you actually want to debate it.

 

[bhsup]

How about if we're just all polite to each other? If I opened a door for you, would you go through it, or would you give me crap?

I'd smile and say thank you It happens sometimes, and I find it perplexing, but I'm not about to stop and insist we trade places so I can open the door for the lady!

 

[Cutlass]

Yeah, they all say "There you go."

Until they snap.

 

[LucyDuke]

^ I'll debate the point if you actually want to debate it.

I'm not really interested in defending civilization, thanks.

I'd smile and say thank you It happens sometimes, and I find it perplexing, but I'm not about to stop and insist we trade places so I can open the door for the lady!

Awesome. Some dudes refuse, and then I have to be stubborn.

 

[Narz]

I was going to say something along the same lines, how manners are never outdated, especially if you want to make it with the ladies, but your phrasing can't be improved on!

Thank you sir!

I'm not really interested in defending civilization, thanks.

That game sucked anyway!

If you changed your mind I recently bumped a thread on it.

 

[Elta]

I will hold a door for anyone, you get a 3 second count in my head.

If you take to long I am out.


If I am with a girl I like on a date or something I will walk in ahead and then slam the door on them.

When they walk in and say "what the hell?" I'll put my arm on their waist and say something like "hey I don't like you enough to hold doors open for you" Then I'll give them a peck on the cheek and after I'll smile and say "yet"


They love stuff like that

 

[Mowque]

If I am with a girl I like on a date or something I will walk in ahead and then slam the door on them.

When they walk in and say "what the hell?" I'll put my arm on their waist and say something like "hey I don't like you enough to hold doors open for you" Then I'll give them a peck on the cheek and after I'll smile and say "yet"


They love stuff like that

I wonder what my girlfriend would have thought of that....