Are you Evil?

I'm only semi-evil.

"Well, you're kinda evil. But we know you can do better. Your backstabbing knife could, and should, be sharper. Get tips on turning up your evilocity — sign up with Emode.com."
 
This is a bullsh*t test. No ifs or buts about it.

Let's look at what they said:

"Well, you're kinda evil. They haven't reserved a place for you in Hell yet, but the leasing agents are starting their calls. (Sorry, no air conditioning.) We're guessing you find others' pain funny, your backstabbing knife is probably pretty sharp, and your sexual wiles have likely brought you enjoyment at the expense of your bunkmates a time or two. If more than one of those three things rings true, consider yourself a card-carrying evil person. If you're interested in recanting the evil thing, sensitivity counseling isn't a bad idea. Or else find a more sadistic career, like a bouncer or a metermaid. But hey, to each his own, and if your evilness fits, wear it. Keep reading for more evil details!"

Well, this is full of inaccuracies and lies, as one is the very definition of evil. One does find other's pain funny, and does know how to backstab, but do not prefer it, being Lawful Evil. As for that sick stuff about sexual wiles, we all know how inapplicable that is. :rolleyes:
Find a more sadistic career, like a bouncer? Been there, done that.


But it gets even better. Not.

"So, you have a healthy sex drive — good for you! No one likes a prude. In general, you give as well as you get, though everyone can get a little selfish under the covers, so don't beat yourself up about going for the big one on your birthday. And while you're at it, go ahead and admit it — you've probably flashed a big smile to get your way in the bedroom before. But for the most part, you strike us as a pretty generous lover who's doing well at keeping your raw, sexual power in check. Yeah, baby!"

Utter, inapplicable garbage, of the most puerile variety. Healthy sex drive? Try none. Flashed a big smile? Bah! Pretty generous lover? Not really applicable to an avowed celibate evil monk....

"Don't feel too bad about hiding your anger. At least, not right now. When your spleen ruptures from internalized stress, then you can feel bad about it. Passive people act that way because they're ultimately sweet and don't want to upset anyone. While that may work for the short term, you end up looking like a real back-stabber when you, ah, stab someone in the back. Try to deal with your problems up front, and you probably won't have to renew your concealed weapons permit this year."

Again, this is nonsensical. One does the absolute opposite, and answered all the non-sexual questions in such a manner. The result?
One does believe that revenge is sweetest when it is cold and premeditated, but that is a classic evil saying.

"Ooo hoo — you're one evil muther. Your heart is blacker than Darth Vader's helmet. For goodness' sake, next time think about that old lady's feelings before you push her down the escalator. And, really — you know as well as anyone that dropping kitties out the window to see if they can land on their feet is just an excuse to act evil. Yes, it's all part of being a free spirit who doesn't answer to anyone. Right or wrong, it's a fun way to live. But be careful — it all comes full-circle in the end."

Well, one has always been known as a darkhearted bastard. This is no new news.

In short, this is a manifestly flawed, biased, and silly evil test. There are many more better out there.
 
I am part of the secret society o' quasi-evil. We do quasi-evil things like steal pens and sperate socks from their mates. Eventually we will use all the socks as a large foul smelling super-wheapon and take over the world with it. The pens are just for fun, we like them.
 
Honestly everyone, I'm more evil than that:


You have to agree that either that text is fake or it doesn't recognise real evil.

The same thing with my master Darkshade's test. We all know he's evil. There must be something wrong with the test.

...:D
 
I'm only a little bit evil?! But my idea of solving world hunger is to kill MORE people! How can that be catagorized as A LITTLE BIT EVIL!? I'LL EAT THEIR UNBORN CHILDREN WITH WHORCHESTER SAUCE AND A SIDE OF MAC & CHEESE! And most of the questions really didn't apply to me 'cause I only had sex once!
 
Hey leonel, we may have some things in common. My plan for exterminating world poverty is killing the poor. No poor people equals no poverty, right?
I agree with your world hunger plan.

Also when you mention the unborn baby, I'd like to mention the memorable words of Fat Bastard:

"I ATE A BABY!!! Yeah .... Baby, the other-other white meat! Baby: It's what's for DINNER!!!"
 
"Good news — you're just a little evil, which means you're very human."

Who says mods aren't caring souls? ;)
 

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BAH!!! This test was nonsense!! I am not as evil as some, but i'm very vengeful and my mind is very warped. There just weren't the options for me to express that.

2. When you have a beef with someone, you:
Confront them about it
Never bring it up
Slash their tires
Now in this case, I would a)spread malicious rumours about sexual deviancy, or b)emotionally destroy them in front of all they hold dear. Neither option is there, so i had to choose option 1, which really doesn't reflect me.

8. Have you ever sneezed, spit, or put something foul in someone else's beverage?
Yes
No
I've thought about it
I didn't know if laxitive classified as foul, so i said no.

11. Have you ever said something mean enough to make someone cry?
Yes, and they deserved it
Yes, and I feel terrible
No, but I've certainly tried
Nope
There is no option for constant meanness for the rest of their natural lives, making them a nervous wreck with no self esteem.

These are just a few points, but i'll say that they were right in that i'm not sexually evil. There are some places where evil doesn't come out the same way.

(EDIT): pic didn't come out, i was slightly on the evil side of the mid-line.
 

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